There is currently a giant spider crawling down my wall. I just noticed it out of the corner of my eye. I am terrified. Literally. I think this fear reaction is actually problematic.
Okay, it's stopped crawling now. It's just sitting there. What do I do? Do I kill it? Do I let it live? Do I call my roomie over to deal with - CRAP IT'S MOVING AGAIN! I CAN'T SEE IT ANYMORE! OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NOOHNOOHNO!
(PS: it's really hard to type "oh no" over and over again - and it looks really funny without the spaces. Has anyone else ever noticed that? Okay, back to terror.)
SERIOUSLY WHAT THE EFF DO I DO?????? It could be crawling across the floor to my bed now and I can't see it and what if it's crawling up onto my bed now and why doesn't it just know that it should stay away from me because I am a giant-sized human with a severe fear reaction that is completely disproportionate to the situation and I am just really really TERRIFIED right now!
Okay, I'm opting for denial. There is no spider. There is no spider. I am going to be very very zen about this. I am breathing deeply. Spiders are just a part of God's creation and as much as it seems like they were later invented by Satan to bring fear and death into our lives they were really just made to keep the ecosystem in balance.... ommmmmmmmmmmmmm...... breathe....
It's not working, but now I am starting to feel really silly, which I guess works too.
Update: now there's a moth flying around my room. Sometimes I just hate my life so much.
Update 2.0: not there's another unidentified insect crawling on the wall and I'm so jumpy that a paper moved in my peripheral vision and I almost fell off my bed. COULD LIFE GET ANY WORSE??? I'm pretty sure this is a "the moths are coming to get their revenge" situation.