Some people are just pretentious and that's not okay

Some people think they are being very wise when they say things like "live each day like it's your last."  I am here to posit that they are not being wise, but pretentious and wrong.

Evidence: if everyone lived every day like it was their last all anyone would do is tell each other off, have sex, spend all their money traveling, and eat food that probably will make this proverbial day their last.  Is that the kind of world you want to live in?  Really?

Actually... maybe it is.  Think about it, it would be SO EASY to convince people to give you their life savings if they were living each day like it was their last.  Think about it: "you might die tomorrow, so you should give me all your money." "Okay."  Easy as pie.*  And then the next day everyone would be all like "oh MAN I totally am still alive and have NO MONEY and a whole bunch of STIs and everyone is mad at me because I told them what I really thought of them and I tried to fly to Paris but the pilot thought he might be dead today so instead of piloting the plane he totally spent the whole flight drinking in the cockpit (insert dirty joke here) and now we're all plummeting to our deaths - hey wait, that actually worked out just like we planned!"  And then everyone would be dead and I would be rich and all alone on the planet, making my wealth kind of pointless because why be rich if you can't buy expensive things in front of your poor friends while they drool from outside because the store is so fancy they aren't even allowed inside?

It would be like that apocalypse story I read in elementary school where one person survived some nuclear horror and then lives the rest of their life all alone eating left over groceries and trying to find creative ways to get their vitamins as the produce rots.  Then they entertain themselves by watching all the movies that have been released on video (because this book was written before DVDs existed and ruined everything by paving the way for BluRay) because they don't even have to pay late fees anymore.  But then they start to get lonely and find the one other person who is alive but they don't know if that person is a friend or foe, because that always happens with sole survivors so then things are really awkward and everyone can't decide if they should kill each other or procreate or what.  I think in the book I read of this it was a young girl and then an older man and I really hope it didn't include any creepy sexy stuff because that's just wrong.  Especially because this book was assigned reading.

So basically, what I'm saying is that it's not good to live every day as if it's your last because then you will all die and I will be all alone with a potentially creepy fellow-sole survivor and have nothing to do with my wealth but sit there and stare at it because I can get everything for free now anyways.

*FACT: pie is not actually very easy to make, but not as hard as most people think either.  So why is it that a saying referring to something being super easy is actually something most people think is really hard but is actually moderately difficult?  Answer me THAT universe.

Comments