Singalong! Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes

This song was the perfect car singalong in high school. It has a whispered chorus, the lyrics are simple and repetitive, it jumps from said whispered chorus to SUPER LOUD so you get to scream-sing a lot, annnnnnd, once you figure out that he's singing "big hands, I know you're the one", there's a gleeful confusingness and built-in hand action to the whole thing.



BLISTER IN THE SUN
by Violent Femmes

When I'm out walking
I strut my stuff
And I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite
I just might stop to check you out

Let me go on like I
Blister in the sun
Let me go on
Big hands, I know you're the one

Body and beats,
I stain my sheets
I don't even know why
My girlfriend, she's at the end,
She is starting to cry

Let me go on like I
Blister in the sun
Let me go on
Big hands, I know you're the one

When I'm out walking
I strut my stuff
And I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite
I just might stop to check you out
When I'm out walking
I strut my stuff
And I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite
I just might stop to check you out

Body and beats,
I stain my sheets
I don't even know why
My girlfriend, she's at the end,
She is starting to cry
When I'm out walking
I strut my stuff
And I'm so strung out
I'm high as a kite
I just might stop to check you out

Let me go on like I
Blister in the sun
Let me go on
Big hands, I know you're the one

Does this song remind anyone else of the Seinfeld episode
where Jerry's date has big man-hands?


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Learning! Roundup: Some background on the hijab, music and men, oyster herpes, and more!


Hijabs, Explained

Sometimes I am suddenly struck with the fact that I don't know very much at all about some particular aspect of a major religion. It's kind of embarrassing. Just in case someone else out there is in my boat, here is a video wherein Muslim women discuss hijabs.


Music Makes Men Attractive

You know how, if there is a guitar present in a room with a social gathering, there is always some dude who will grab it and start playing mournfully deep folk music? Well, it turns out he is actually making himself more attractive. A new study shows that heterosexual women find men more attractive when exposed to music.

Oysters STI's

Oysters are filters for the sea. The nasty side effect from that is that they can pick up some illnesses, including herpes. Yep. Oysters are getting herpes, and it's deadly.

Women in STEM

If you're the type that likes to read actual scientific papers, here's a good one for you. An in-depth look at why women opt-in to study STEM fields less often then men. It looks at socialization, access to computers, and perceived ability, among other things, and offers some programs to help correct the imbalance. It seems like an older study, based on the data used, so some things would have changes (there is likely less of a gender gap in households that have computers, as these days every home that can afford it probably has at least one), but what's interesting about that is that it's the people who were young at the time the paper was written, and influenced by these factors, that are now either pursuing careers in STEM or not. Also, the problem has only gotten worse.

More on Women in STEM

I realize this is old news by the internet's standard now, but here is a really really thorough, scientific debunking of that annoying Google manifesto. It's long and heavily-cited and very good.

Quote: "I am offended as a biologist and a scientist precisely because Mr. Damore’s arguments are bad logic and bad science."

Blind Brains

Our brains are brilliant and don't like to waste space, so what happens when a person is missing a sense that normally occupies a significant area of the brain? Turns out the the brains of blind people repurpose the areas usually used for visual information into verbal processing.

Old Dads

As a women, I've been raised to think that my reproductive options are narrowing and dying, basically from the age of 18-on, and that if I deign to try to have a baby when I'm older, I am probably giving it a host of mutation. Well. Turns out that older fathers give more genetic mutations to their babies than older mothers. So, there's that.


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Fun facts about broken fingers

About a month ago, I injured my hand. I know! My poor poor little hand!


How it happened isn't very interesting, but I'm going to tell you anyways:

I was hiking, and there was this one spot where I kept slipping (I know normally nothing "keeps happening" at one spot on a hike, because normally you pass a spot, at most, twice - once on the way up, and once on the way down, but we were camping at a lake and walked around the lake several times.) Finally, the spot beat me and I fell right on my butt, jamming my finger right into a rock on the way down.

It hurt, but since I could bend my finger I assumed that meant it wasn't broken. Whatever. It would be fine.

Surprise, surprise, I was wrong! It was fractured! I went on to spend two weeks with my fingers buddy taped and two weeks with a plastic splint.

Here are some fun facts I learned along the way:

1) We still think of writing as a one-handed activity. Most people would say something like, "well, thank goodness it's not your right hand," to which I'd say, "sure, except I type with both hands and work an office job where I basically type all day, sooooo...... still sucks."

2) As a woman, apparently I can't show people my left hand EVER without them thinking I'm showing them a ring. It doesn't matter if there's a giant splint on it or not, if I lift up my left hand, their faces brighten up with this "oooooh, she got engaged!" look. It was both sad and satisfying to disappoint them with my stupid broken finger.

3) You will never know freedom until you know typing WITHOUT a finger splint. It's so fast! So easy!




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This Week in Church: Why are even here, costly love

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church we talked about purpose.

Specifically, we talked about the purpose of church. An old dude was quoted as saying that "Church is the only institution that exists for the benefit of those who are not members." This is because churches are SUPPOSED to be about taking care of others: feeding and clothing the poor, welcoming outsiders, and all that jazz.

I don't think church actually does that very well, to be honest. Not just my church, but churches, in general. Some are certainly better than others, bigger ones tend to have a lot of ministries and programs, but overall, I think most people go to church for themselves (I do), and most church services promote a bit of an inward-focus.

It made me wonder: would I be better off if I stopped attending church and spent that time volunteering somewhere instead? Not only would I be doing a better job of serving the actual purpose of church, but I'm pretty sure I might actually feel more spiritually satisfied.

This week in church we talked about costly love.

"If it hurts and it's inconvenient and you don't really like it, you're probably on to something."

This is true of a lot of things, and was presented as being both true of the sacrifices needed to get in shape and to enact self-giving love.

On one hand, self-giving love will certainly feel that way from time to time. Just like when I force myself to do more jumping lunges (stupid jumping lunges), I remind myself that I want the strength that comes from them, when I get miserable from some act of sacrifice for someone else I can remind myself of the love that motivates it. It will still be annoying and stupid, but it will also have meaning.

On the other hand, this reminds me a lot of those stories I heard as a child in church that basically amounted to, "God is going to require you to do the one thing you desperately don't want to do and you'll have to give up your entire life and everything you love to do so." This generally came from missionaries' stories about how God called them to the one country they didn't want to go to, or something like that. These stories were always told with a chuckle at God's sense of humour.

Oh yeah, so funny! Hey, I'm God, I'm going to send this person who loves me and wants to follow me directly into their deepest fear! HAHAHAHA!

What this taught me, as a child, was that if I truly put myself in God's hands, he would make me give up everything I loved and do something that would make me miserable, because it's FUNNY and because God clearly doesn't want us to be happy.

Anyways, I realize that there is a middle ground here where we recognize the value of doing things that make us uncomfortable and sacrifice of ourselves for a greater purpose and becoming missionaries in the desert where there are no theatres or friends.


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Inspiration! Roundup: Edie Windsor, sketchbooks, dance parties, being alone forever, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Magical floating cities.
Image by Mysticartdesigns

Edie Windsor

A woman named Edie Windsor died last week. I had never heard of her, but it turns out that she took on the American government and freaking won. She was a lesbian whose wife died about five years ago, and somehow she was left with a $363,000 bill that she wouldn't have received if her spouse had been a man. She fought back, sued the government, and won, widening marriage equality rights across America. Go Edie! Glad you get to rest now.

Tank and the Bangas

I just discovered a new band! Tank and the Bangas! They are incredible. There is much to love here, the music, the spirit of every single band member, and those AMAZING banana pants.


I think it's possible that this video is some kind of improvised performance, but either way, it's the bomb and I've added these guys to my Spotify, BECAUSE I WOULD BE A FOOL NOT TO!

Sketchbook Library

I have always loved flipping through artist's sketchbooks. There is something very special captured in a book where someone tests, practices, and draws whatever the heck they feel like. Now there's a library of sketchbooks. Magical!

Street Dance Party

This dance has been making the rounds on my Facebook page. I love it!


Forever Alone

This article really struck me: when can you just say that you'll be alone forever and not have it be some big dramatic statement? As someone who has spent most of her life as a single person (despite currently being in a relationship), with some friends who also tend towards singleness, I feel this question. At some point, can't we all just be okay with someone being single?

What Were You Wearing?

Artist Jen Brockman has created an exhibit of clothing that people were wearing when they got raped. Just in case you, or someone you know, wonders about that. The array of clothing and styles is stunning and makes it painfully clear that a person's clothes are not the problem.

My friend posted this on Facebook with the simple caption "art is awesome". FULLY AGREED.


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Protest doesn't work, but let's do it anyways

On the weekend, I went to a Walk for Reconciliation.

This incredible puppet was a part of the Elders group, leading the walk.

Context, for those who need it: Canada has a very, very dark history in our treatment of Aboriginal people. This includes taking children away from their families and putting them in schools where the goal was to "remove the Indian from the child" through education and abuse. It went on for a very long time. This year is Canada's 150th anniversary as a country (I know! Baby nation!) and so a lot of focus has been on the fact that this is not only 150 years of confederation, but 150 years of colonialism. The movement for reconciliation has grown in strength and popularity this year.

I was walking with some friends from my church, some of which had never taken part in a "political" walk before. I've been doing them since I was a teenager, and one friend asked if I've ever seen concrete change come out of participating in a walk or protest.

The honest answer? Nope.

I honestly don't believe that protest creates tangible change. Historically, protests didn't stop Vietnam, and the various injustice I have protested either continue today or ended all on their own, for other reasons.

So why do I do it?

Two reasons:

One is that it has social value. It won't change anyone's mind, but it demonstrates a critical mass. It tells those on the other side that everyone doesn't agree with them and lets those on my side see that they aren't alone. It gives strength to the arguments of politicians who agree with me, and might help someone who was scared to speak up do so.

The other is for my own conscience. I am physically standing up for what I believe in. That is important and powerful to me.

One of my friends had a different reason, one that I thought was very meaningful. He said he was doing the walk, basically, to push his future self into the right actions. Since he did this walk, he would be a hypocrite if later he didn't take steps towards reconciliation. He didn't quite know what that meant, or how it would work, he just wanted to start somewhere.

I thought that was really lovely and powerful. Sometimes we know something is right, but we don't quite know how it works or what it means. Maybe then, if you stand up for that thing in a public way, even if it's just symbolic, you'll push yourself to follow through. Nobody wants to be a hypocrite.


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The unexpected childhood obsession of a feminist

Photo by Cristal Montanez.

Here's a funny thing to think about: I used to watch beauty pageants. A lot.

My whole family did. From Miss America to Miss Universe and beyond, we would gather around the television. It was a big deal. The kids stayed up past our bedtimes so we could see who won. We picked favourites and commented on their choices of clothes and talent. We cared.

It was fun to judge the contestants. It was like a fashion show, but with stakes.

My favourite portion was the talent, there was always at least one ballerina in the group, but I loved picking apart their choices in evening wear and swimsuits. If they wore a one-piece, or demonstrated any misguided attempt at being overly modest, they were out. They couldn't show too much skin, either. This was perhaps an early lesson in the fine line between madonna and whore all women must tread.

Later in life, Survivor, The Amazing Race, and The Bachelor would fill that void of watching strangers as they compete in slightly-degrading contests to achieve an often-unrelated end goal. But we didn't have reality shows yet, so we watched, judged, criticized, and picked favourites among young women who were modelling swimsuits in order to go to college.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is the childhood of a person who would later go on to be dubbed the "most feminist person" that some of her friends have met.

I guess you could say that I needed to learn what madonna/whore stereotypes were before I could call my friends out for perpetuating them, but that might be giving Miss America (and my younger self) too much credit. I did not think critically about anything except how the contestants looked in their evening wear.

Perhaps this can be a comfort to all my friends who are concerned about raising their children with feminist values: even girls with the most internalized misogyny can grow up to be full-fledged feminist killjoys.


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Cute! Roundup: Multicoloured kitty, a family portrait that will kill you with cuteness, and more!

When I was a kid, my little brother coloured our cat with green and blue felts. He was a colourful cat for about a week after that.

The other day, on the way to the theatre, I ran into this beauty and smiled thinking of whatever child did this.


OTHER CUTENESS:

It is my goal in life to live on a property with a goat. Now I want a goat and a bunny.

The best family portrait of all time.

Bathing beauty.

Nhom.

Who would have thought begging for salad would be this adorable?


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Singalong! Fall From Grace by Amanda Marshall

The first time I saw Amanda Marshall, I felt a connection to her. She may have been the first truly curly-haired lady I saw who was famous and didn't straighten her hair. We were obviously soulmates and she let me know that I could also have my big, wild curly head and be the superstar I was destined to be.


FALL FROM GRACE
by Amanda Marshall

Lost inside this angeltown
Lost like I could not be found
No connections of the heart
Love was glass that broke apart
Gimme faith in dreams
And someone to hold
Gimme love 'cause I'm out here in the cold
There are no secrets
No angels at my door

And oh, when you touch my hand
I fall from grace
And oh, when you reach for me
I fall from grace

On a steeltown boulevard
Life's a promise that doesn't last
Resurrections of the past
Children come and are gone so fast
So gimme faith in love Baby tonight
Gimme arms to hold you here so tight
There are no secrets
No angels at my door

And oh, when you touch my hand
I fall from grace
And oh, when you reach for me
I fall from grace

Photo by Allen McGregor. CC.



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Learning! Roundup: Dance wins the war on aging, humans vs. apes, facial recognition, and more!


Reverse Aging with Dance

Both endurance training and dancing had been shown to reverse signs of aging in the brain, but only dancing shows a corresponding change of behaviour. It's good to note that the behaviour change they are referring to here is improved balance, not, like, knowing what decade they are in. But still! Dance wins!

Humans vs. Apes

New research shows that we have seriously underestimated the intelligence of apes, thanks to our huge superiority complexes. We tend to compare humans, living fulsome lives full of social interactions and education, with apes that have been raised in isolated lab settings with no opportunity for contextual learning. This is both unfair and just mean.

Musicians Make Better Decisions

Turns out maybe my parents were right to insist I learned a musical instrument as a child, but they were off with the timing. Adults who took music lessons starting in later childhood (age 9 or later) performed better on a decision-making game than those who started as young children or never learned instruments.

Facial Recognition X-Ray Vision

Here's a creepy thing: new facial recognition software can see who you are, even if you're covering your face.

When to Say No to the Police

Obviously saying no to a police officer is only something that only a subset of society is privileged to be able to do without fear for their lives, which is brutally unfair. Still, it's useful to know when you have the legal right to say no.

Ants from Hell

Like, actually, this ant is called the "hell ant". Its mouth includes upward-facing METAL BLADES. Yes, this ant has incorporated metal into its exoskeleton. We are all doomed.

Genetics vs. Gender and Race

This article provides four solid, scientific reasons why we need to be a little more cautious about claiming genetics are causing differences between gender or racial groups. A quick shorthand: the genetic variance that creates racial and gender differences is actually pretty small (skin-deep, if you will); human populations are fluid and have always mixed quite a bit; the 'heritability' of traits speak more to individuals and small populations in a fixed social environment; and the role of culture is both hugely significant and documented.


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This Week in Church: Everyone is worshipping something

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church we talked about worship.

This week's sermon relied heavily on the notion that everyone is worshipping something. Some people worship themselves, money, prestige, or some other worldly thing. Others worship some notion of a god.

While I often nod my head and feel deeply compelled by this notion that we are all worshipping something, this time I wondered what that actually means. There is the activity of worshipping, which often involves songs, prayers, bowing and/or lifting of hands and other actions of supplication and adoration. Of course, if that's what we're talking about, most people don't do that.

Then there is a more general sense of worship: a recognition that something is greater and a devotion of one's life to that something; an ongoing attempt to appease and/or glorify that thing.

So then, is it a good enough translation to say that everyone is living their life for something? Is devoted to something? Has centred their life around something? Those statements are definitely true and certainly encompass at least a part of what it means to worship.

I am trying to figure out what the "why" is in my life. I certainly have some lofty things that motivate me, like helping others and creating community, but I also want to get accolades and recognition for myself. Which thing drives me more? Tough call.


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The hardest part of becoming an adult


When people talk about adulting, they usually are referring to doing grown-up, responsible-type things: paying bills, having a conversation with your boss about quitting instead of running away, doing taxes, cooking healthy meals for the week. Stuff like that.

I think there is a much greater challenge to being an adult: as your major life questions settle down, there are no updates to share.

When I see friends and we ask each other what's going on in our lives, it's always met with some version of a shrug and "I don't know, same old, I guess?"

It's not even that we have boring lives! We see plays! We read interesting books! We go out on weeknights! We have creative projects! We climb mountains! We have challenging careers! We do things that should be interesting to discuss, except that we've been doing these things for a while, so they aren't particularly newsworthy anymore.

When nothing major has changed in your life for some time (same job, same home, same relationship status, same education, no recent or upcoming travel), then what the heck are you supposed to talk about? What is there to "catch up on"?

This is the long, slow drudgery of being an adult, isn't it? This is why people have mid-life crises: because there isn't an answer to "what's new?" anymore!

This has got to stop. Either I need to start doing a bunch of brand new things, or I need to start considering the things in my life to be more interesting and worthy of sharing.

In the interest of time, let's start with the second idea. Here are some potential life updates I could share that are real and current:

Friend: "Hey, what's new?"

Me: "This morning I had a really delicious cup of tea while I was writing. It just all came together perfectly, you know? I may spend the rest of my life trying to replicate that tea."

Me: "Essex and I got all our chores done last night in record time. The place is clean! It's so nice."

Me: "I watched a Facebook Live session yesterday at work for a new grant we're thinking about applying for, but it still made no sense. They want to give money to projects that promote a 'digital mindset' in the sector at large. What the heck is that?"

Me: "It's the Fringe Festival! Last weekend I saw five shows, and I've got three more to go. So far only one was really fantastic, but this other one, Slumber Here, was so enchanting and inventive that everyone should experience it."

Me: "My parents are going to Italy, and so I'm going to have their car for three weeks. How often do you think I'll be lazy and drive instead of biking? I'm hoping to keep it under 50% of the time."

Me: "I just started reading a new book called A Darker Shade of Magic. It seems really good! My only complaint so far is that we've met three characters so far and they're all male. Maybe there should be a Bechdel Test for books."

Me: "I saw some actor friends on iZombie last night! That's always fun."

Here's the problem: it took me waaaaaaaay too long to come up with those answers, even the really lame ones. I had to look at my calendar for reminders on what the heck is happening in my life.

Maybe THAT'S the real issue. It's not that my life is boring (although, when the first exciting thing you think of in your life is a good cup of tea...), it's that I don't REMEMBER things.

Okay, so I haven't solved my problem, but I've altered it. Thanks? I guess?


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Inspiration! Roundup: Gender neutral clothes, woodland fantasies, flowers in space, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": I am digging bright brightness these days.
Photo credit: garlandcannon via Foter.com / CC BY

Gender Neutral Clothes

UK-based retailer John Lewis has gone the way of awesomeness and made their children's clothing line gender neutral! They are just clothes! I love it. Where else can we remove gender separations?

Woodland Animations

I am entranced by Alexandra Dvornikova's woodland animations.

A post shared by Alexandra Dvornikova (@allyouneediswall) on

Flowers in Space

Japanese artist Azuma Makoto launched flowers into space and photographed their journeys. SPACE! I am blown away that this was even possible, and fully love the resulting images.

50 Year Plan

Looks good to me.


Wisdom from Simon Amstell

"You can do this. You're a person who can exist in real life."

In case you needed a mantra to get you through today.

The Best Dancers of All Time

This video has been making the rounds with the title "The best dancers of all time". I won't argue for or against the "all time" claim, but they are dang good.


Middle Child Soap

As a middle child, I truly and deeply love this middle child soap. "Largely invisible scent," it says. "Go ahead and dye your hair purple. No one will notice."

Best marketing ever.


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Getting your priorities straight is HARD

Hey, I made this image! You can buy it on Society 6!

I have shared many times about the levels of stress and busyness in my life, and my random attempts to grasp at adjusting them, including things like self-induced art therapy and going on antidepressants.

At the same time as going on the antidepressants, I started seeing my counsellor to try to find ways to deal with my life-overload.

She spoke a lot about setting boundaries and cutting things out of my life, as if that is just a normal thing that people can do. I am pretty sure I fully cringed every single time she said it - the concept of "making cuts" in life seemed impossible. As she began to notice that the concept of removing things from my life was causing me some kind of physical pain, so she switched her tactic. She started to talk about prioritizing.

This was obviously a trick. Picking priorities is essentially the same as cutting things, because I was still going to have to choose some things over others. Elimination would happen. It was a trick, but it was a USEFUL trick. It was one that I could at least begin to work with.

So let's start by making a list of the things I consider to be top priorities in life:

-Work, which is necessary, and generally fulfilling.
-Writing.
-Social justice/inclusion work which takes time and is so important, and also involves a lot of learning, which takes time.
-My relationship with my partner.
-I need to be home sometimes because I love my cat and she gets lonely and I also miss her cuddles.
-I also need to be home sometimes because apparently rest is important.
-I would like to see my family more often.
-Spiritual growth and spiritual things like church and meditation.
-I don't want my body to shrivel up, so exercise and fitness must factor in.
-Eating decently and not spending all my money means I need to take time to grocery shop and cook meals.
-I'd like a home that is relatively clean and liveable so it feels good and relaxing when I come home to my cat cuddles.
-I don't spend enough time reading anymore and would really like to do that more.
-Being involved in the theatre community (which is my industry) is important for my professional development and is also fun. Gotta see shows, go to conferences, and generally participate.
-Friends! Friends are THE MOST IMPORTANT and take time investment so that you aren't just "catching up" every time you see each other.
-Then there's the birthdays, babies, and weddings that friendships bring! And the parties you plan for these things for your friends.
-Time in nature! It's so good for the soul!
-I really want to be informed about what's going on in the world AND keep up with psychology research and news, because that's my other love besides theatre and I like keeping on top of it.
-I always have ideas bouncing around in my head for various creative projects and if I don't act on them once in a while I will go insane.

Ummmmmmm.... So those are my TOP priorities. That's manageable, right? I can have 18 top priorities, can't I? Especially given that, in my crippling fear of ever being alone, I have gathered a HUGE security blanket of people in the "friends" category, so investing in all these people could basically fill a full time work schedule, and I am unwilling to let any of them go because they are all incredible humans? It will just take TIME MANAGEMENT. Wait, that's what got me into this whole mess in the first place: thinking I could do everything and be friends with everyone, so long as I managed my time better. CRAP!

OkayokayokayokayokayokayokayokayokayokayokayOKAY.

With a lot of uncomfortable wriggling where it felt like my insides were trying to squish themselves against the back of my body to get as far as possible from what the front of my body was doing, I actually started picking a more limited number of priorities. I thought about the friends who might actually be around for the rest of my life and who I wanted to be nursing home neighbours with. I thought about actual long-term goals and the activities that will support them. I thought about family and my partner. I sighed and made a weird guttural sound of discomfort SO MANY TIMES and eventually, I had a new, shorter list of top priorities.

I looked at my new list and felt... a little tiny bit of peace. Relief. Like, hey, maybe these are the things that are actually most important to me. Maybe I don't need EVERYTHING and EVERYONE to make me feel safe in life.

Here's something I realized: this process definitely felt like a gross and horrible thing to do, but it's actually something everyone does. EVERYONE picks their priorities, it's just that most people do it instinctively, as things arise. Most people aren't so afraid of winding up alone that they blow out every door and wall in their life, letting every single thing in. They make these choices on a subconscious level.

So now I have this list, what the heck do I do with it?

Here is the thing I really wanted to share. What do you do once you've figured out that you need to set priorities, you have an idea of what you want those priorities to be, and you are really bad at putting up boundaries?

Here's what I'm trying: monthly priorities checks.

Every month, I'll take a look at my list and look at my calendar and compare them. I'll start scheduling in the priorities, including scheduling a home night where I can chill out and read, friendship times, or nature time.

Sometimes, or maybe a lot of the time, this means my month will fill up in advance. That doesn't feel great, but it was already filling up in advance. At least this time it'll be full of the most valuable things instead of whatever happened to come up first, right?

Let's see how this goes.


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Cute! Roundup: a whole bunch of really happy animals and one villainous baby

After a month of traumatizing vet visits, I was worried Gertie would have some kind of negative association with her carrier. Turns out, she loves the dang thing! I left it out and open, and she goes to hang out in there all the time.


OTHER CUTENESS:

If only I loved salad the way this bunny loves salad.

It's the happiest little hedgehog you ever did see!

An otter playing in a tube! A tube otter! A Totter!

I think I just found Hedwig.

I'll take your happy hedgehog, and raise you a super-happy duck!

This video of the most villainous babies in all of villainy is quite brilliant.


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Singalong! Paper Planes by M.I.A.

I love this song! The chorus and its sweet sound-effects-instead-of-lyrics styling makes it the funnest addition to every dance party. Plus, then you get to see how everyone likes to mime cash registers, and that's always hilarious.


PAPER PLANES
by M.I.A.

I fly like paper, get high like planes
If you catch me at the border I got visas in my name
If you come around here, I make 'em all day
I get one down in a second if you wait

Sometimes I think sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game
Everyone's a winner, we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler making my name

All I wanna do is
And a
And take your money

Pirate skulls and bones
Sticks and stones and weed and bong
Running when we hit 'em
Lethal poison for the system

No one on the corner has swagger like us
Hit me on my Burner prepaid wireless
We pack and deliver like UPS trucks
Already going hell just pumping that gas

All I wanna do is
And a
And take your money

M.I.A.
Third world democracy
Yeah, I got more records than the K.G.B.
So, uh, no funny business
Are you ready all?

Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go
Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go

All I wanna do is
And a
And take your money



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Learning! Roundup: The gender pay gap is real and caused by sexism, yoga mats aren't hurting your fertility, and more!

Photo by Jordan Whitfield

The Gender Pay Gap is Real and Caused by Sexism

A wonderful New Zealand study, based on actual productivity and pay data, was recently executed. Their goal was to test for various explanations of the gender pay gap (that women are not as productive as men because we take time off for babies, that we don't negotiate as well, and that we choose lower-paying careers).

The results: about 12% of the pay gap could be explained by career choices, that at most 2% is explained with productivity differences between genders, and that there is no evidence different wage negotiation styles are a factor. They clearly found that women in the same industry as their male counterparts, making similar contributions, made 84 cents on the dollar.

Yoga Mats Are Okay Again

Apparently people thought yoga mats were messing with women's fertility. But they're not. Apparently. I didn't even know this was a thing.

Reliving Memories

I love memory theory! We don't really know much about how memories work (one of my favourite debates in my cognitive psychology class was whether we truly lose information from our brains when we forget things, or if we just can no longer access it), but now we've been able to watch memories as they are being created. Looks like, during rest after learning something new, our brains relive the information learned, lighting up those neural pathways again.

Robot Gamers

There is now a robot that can play Settler of Catan. Thought you should know.

Eye Scans for Alzheimer's

There is evidence that Alzheimer's may be detected in people using simple eye scans, long before symptoms appear. This could be fantastic, since early detection is the key to successful treatment.

Gendered Emotion

We already know that women are volatile bags of emotion, but now there is science on the subject! Turns out that women display more positive emotion and men are more likely to display anger or negative emotions. (Sounds a bit like the patriarchy and taught norms of masculinity are at play again, but hey, I could be wrong.)

Feel the Feels

If you watched Inside Out you already know this, but it's worth talking about again: you'll be happier if you let yourself feel bad. Suppressing negative emotions and clinging to positive ones is generally not super effective.


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This Week in Church: Inexhaustible mysteries and disenchantment

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church we talked about inexhaustible mysteries.

The idea is that, just like how we keep being drawn back to the ocean and all its mysteries, God/Jesus/faith/redemption/something to do with this is a mystery we can keep coming back to. There will always be more there.

I do love me some mystery.

This week in church we talked about disenchantment.

Surprisingly, one of the things that was said was that sometimes, when you are disenchanted with something (even God), instead of trying to force yourself back into it, you should just let it go and walk away. Of course, this was said from the perspective that you can never really walk away from God, he's always everywhere and turning away from him often constitutes turning towards him.

Still, in a week where I have had many wonderful conversations with my friends about quitting and walking away from things this week, and this was a nice cap on it all.

Some questions to consider: what are you willing to walk out on? Is disenchantment all you have left in some area of life? What is it time to leave behind?


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Inspiration! Roundup: The space between where I am and where I want to be

This Week's "I want to go to there": This happy, jumping, dancing moment.
Photo credit: istolethetv via Foter.com / CC BY

Turtle Art

I love this art by Lisa Ericson, with turtles carrying more than just their shells.

A post shared by Lisa Ericson (@aqualisa) on

Learning

Oh goodness, imagine if this could be true:
"I am learning every day to allow the space between where I am and where I want to be to inspire me and not terrify me."
Via.

Samuel Beckett's Cats

I struggled with whether this should be a cute post or an inspirational post, but I just love the concept so much. Someone took Samuel Beckett quotes and created motivational cat posters out of them. "I must be happy... it is less pleasant than I should have thought."

Genius!

Helping Boys Read Girls' Books

I love this article. We focus so much these days on empowering young girls, and that is great, but we also need to help young boys see empowered girls as normal. CAN YOU IMAGINE if artificial gender roles were just not a thing for the next generation? Okay, that's not possible, but check out this article on how to help boys read girls' books if you've got a young boy in your life.

Pseudo-Inspirational Advice

Let's all take this next one with a grain of salt, since it quickly leads to unhelpful attitudes that all bad things happen for a reason (as if that alone should make us feel good after tragedy strikes.) Mostly I just like it for the first line, because my parents used to sometimes drive the long way home "to teach me patience."

A post shared by #riskhappy (@riskhappy) on

Toxic Masculinity

It's an intro to gender studies concept that the patriarchy hurts everyone, not just men. But some of us live in a little liberal bubble for so long, we forget that a) not everyone has learned this stuff in an academic setting and b) the terminology can be alienating. That's why I love comics like this one, by Luke Humphris, explaining toxic masculinity.

It reminds me that throwing around buzzwords can work fine for those who already agree with me, but better explanations are required for those outside my personal bubble. It is also a really beautiful and heartbreaking description of the impact of toxic masculinity, in case you needed a little emotional punch in your day.

FINALLY, Some Good News

Federal prisons in America are now required to provide pads and tampons for free. Yessssssss! I tried to find out if this is the case in Canada, but Google was full of news articles about this American turnabout. Anyone know?


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Challenge Accepted (and then rejected): monitoring my phone use with Quality Time

Photo by Jeanne Menjoulet. CC.

A couple of weeks ago, a friend of mine posted on Facebook about this great new app she found called Quality Time. It tracks your phone use and then tells you how you're wasting your life.

So obviously, I downloaded it. After all, I want to engage in more quality time, and I KNOW that involves using my phone less. Distractions are bad for the brain, the light is killing sleep, etc etc etc.

I planned to monitor my use for a week and then try to set some goals to reduce my usage, but then every time I opened the app to see what my usage was, my brain failed to jump to attention. 

So far this week I have unlocked my phone 363 times and opened Instagram 116 times, my podcast app 86 times, and Facebook 55 times.

Meh? I guess maybe that's bad? I mean, I obviously open Instagram a lot, but is that automatically a problem? Sure, there is some solid research that it makes people unhappy, but I am cocky and don't think that applies to me.

I looked at my numbers and thought, you know what? I just don't really care, because I don't think my phone interferes that much with my life. I still have human social interactions on the regular, I still do my job, I still read books (although the book-reading does take more intentional effort now with my phone hanging around all the time, so that is a thing). I'm just not that worried about it.

So the question is: does this mean I'm in some state of zen and healthy balance when it comes to phone use, or does it mean that I am so addicted I can't even bear to monitor it?


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The problem with being a lady singer

Photo by Kevin Edwards. CC Licence.

"Yeah, but it's not like she made the entire thing."

This is what a friend said to me while I was gushing about Beyoncé's artistic vision in Lemonade. I questioned her, and apparently Beyoncé needs to have written, directed, starred in, and edited it to be worthy of praise as the artist behind Lemonade.

Does anyone else think this is a pretty high standard to hold an artist to? What about the fact that we seem to hold female musicians to this much higher standard than the menfolk?

We never seem to believe that they are in control of their lives or creations. Possibly this also happens in other art forms, but I hear it all the time with music. Especially when it comes to pop musicians, who we all know to have large management and songwriting teams.

Was everyone just too hurt by Avril, who claimed to have written all her own songs until the guys who actually did write them came forward and everyone was like, "oooooh BURN! This 14 year old girl didn't actually write all that, she just had INPUT!"?

(As an aside, how is it that those guys weren't breaking some non-disclosure agreement by coming forward? Why were articles about them writing the songs not concluded with a reference to the lawsuit from the record label?)

Here are the things we can never trust when it comes to female musicians:

The authorship of their songs: unless they have fully documented their entire writing process, composed for every instrument, and did all the arranging and mixing themselves, then they didn't "really" write it. And if some woman DID do all that? It's probably fake, because who does that?

Their choice of clothing (or lack thereof): if she is showing more of her body than is currently deemed "appropriate", then evil gross male managers are forcing her to be overly sexualized. If she is dressed appropriately, then she's being forced into a one-dimensional "good girl" role and that's just not fair.

Their sexuality and dating choices: anything that deviates from heteronormativity is immediately suspect of being done for attention and/or marketing. At best, she is confused, but more likely she was told to act gay to sell records. The only "unless" here is if it was a subtle part of her image from the start (not like the girls from TATU who made out in their video; more like Ani DiFranco, but she's exempt from this particular scrutiny because of angry feminist folk music that no music executive would ever seek to control or understand.)

Their artistic vision: it's the song authorship issue, applied to album covers, music videos, tour concepts, and visual albums. At best we seem to be able to admit that maybe a female pop artist "had the idea" for something, before it got taken over by a team of real artists to turn it into something worth watching.

Don't get me wrong, pop stars TOTALLY have teams of people making artistic decisions for them, and none of us really know which ones are artists with vision and ideas and skills who are running their empires and which are just good performers (although when was it so bad to just be really good at performing?), but can we at least start levelling the same questions at male musicians?


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Cute! Roundup: The best mom cuddles, summoning spirits, a slipping pig, and more!

Gertie is always so happy with all the ways I cuddle her.


OTHER CUTENESS:

Love a good momma cuddle.

A rescued feral cat is aggressive to humans, so they give it some kittens instead.

You summoned me?

Newborn kitties feeding. Cuuuuute!

This little piggy went to the market, but it couldn't stand up on the icy sidewalk. Awwwww!


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Singalong! 3am by Matchbox Twenty

According to Youtube, this song came out in 2007, but I feel like there is no way that can be right. Okay, yep, nope, it's totally wrong. I didn't even have to hit enter on my google search to learn that it was 1996. (Is this the future we have come to? You don't even have to execute an inquiry to get the answer. Weird.) Anyways, this song is clearly about a woman with a few mild delusions and a sleep disorder. Perhaps the illusions are because she can only sleep when it's raining outside.


3AM
by Matchbox Twenty

She says it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat
She's always worried about things like that
She says it's all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
And she only sleeps when it's raining
And she screams, and her voice is straining

And she says baby
It's three a.m. I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
And the rain's gonna wash away I believe it

She's got a little bit of something, god it's better than nothing
And in her color portrait world she believes that she's got it all
She swears the moon don't hang quite as high as it used to
And she only sleeps when it's raining
And she screams, and her voice is straining

And she says baby
It's three a.m. I must be lonely
Oh, when she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
And the rain's gonna wash away I believe this

She believes that life isn't made up of all that you're used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at 3 for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is the mat that sits on her doorway
But outside it stopped raining

And she says baby
It's three a.m. I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes
And the rain's gonna wash away I believe this

Well it's three a.m. I must be lonely
Well hell, when she says baby
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes




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Learning! Roundup: Crown shyness, an ancient Turtle Island village, new new year, and more!

Crown Shyness! Photo source: Wikimedia

Crown Shyness

Have you heard of this? There are some trees that avoid touching, creating these spaces between their branches. Neat!

Ice Age Village

A 14,000-year old village has been discovered in Canada! For context, that's older than the pyramids. It's on Triquet Island, off the BC coast, and its existence lines up with narratives from the Heiltsuk Nation. It completely changes the narrative for how people came to North America, AND provides a nice little "See? We told you so!" to oral histories.

Gender-Swapped Babies

Get ready to roll your eyes at some gender stereotypes. In a social experiment, the BBC had two babies (a boy and a girl) swap clothes, and then had volunteers who don't know them play with them. The baby "girl" was consistently handed soft, cuddly, sweet toys, and the baby "boy" was consistently given more active toys that promote spatial awareness.


UK Midwives Change Their Tune

Midwives in the UK have quietly pulled their campaign to promote natural births, along with many doctors. A new campaign, called "Maternity Outcomes Matter" is emerging that (shocker) prioritizes safety of mother and baby over the process of childbirth. It's not just about pain medication - during low-complication births with midwives, they decide whether to call in medical intervention, and apparently about ¾ of babies who died or were born with brain damage could have had different outcomes with earlier medical help.

A New New Year

This proposed new standard year calendar is kind of mind-blowing. 13 months of 28 days each, plus one bonus day (New Year's Day). In this set up, the days of the week are consistently the same date. The 1st is always Sunday. It's kind of perfect. We should do it, but we'll never do it.

(Bonus: with a 28-day month, that means that any woman who has perfectly regular menstruation will have her period always on the same days of the month. Neat!)

Temperature Anomalies Through Time

Finnish research Antti Lippon created some stark visuals showing climate change.

Image by Antti Lippon on Flickr

See more of his graphs and further explanation here.

Educated Parents Benefit Again

More evidence that socioeconomic status matters: better educated parents are more likely to have children who are relaxed, outgoing, and explorative.


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Happy Birthday to MEEEEEEE!

It's my birthday, guys!

This year, I celebrated by making birthday cards for my Society 6 shop, because what are birthdays for if not shamelessly flocking one's wares?






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Guys! Something not very realistic happened - on a TV SHOW!

If you like to watch TV shows about supernatural things, like, say, Buffy, you may have noticed a weird trend.

On these shows, wherein the world at large does NOT recognize the presence of supernatural beings, regular people who feel they aren't getting enough wealth, dates, or medals, quickly turn to summoning demons.

Really?

I mean, I realize that these shows aren't exactly paragons of verisimilitude (oooooh, look at that fancy word I just pulled out!), but really? A regular person is unsatisfied with their life, finds a dusty old library book with ceremonies for summoning demons, and says, "sure, why not?"

And then, naturally, they have no problem sacrificing other humans to that demon in order to get their wealth/dates/medals. Because any person will shrug their shoulders at that when presented the opportunity.

(I have nothing else to say here, the entire point of this post is pointing out that something unrealistic happened on Buffy. The show where, not only do vampires et al. exist, but every generation chooses one teenage girl to fight them, and then I guess the rest of the world where she doesn't live suffers quite a bit with unchecked evil. Oh, and secret government organizations put chips in vampires heads to keep them from being violent and gypsies curse other vampires to have a soul that they'll only lose if they are really happy which comes from having sex with a vampire slayer and thousand year-old demons are afraid of bunnies.)



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I tried to Goop and it's not that special

After reading a lot of things making fun of the unscience of the Goop-erverse, I decided to finally give it a look for myself.

The first thing I was met with was a sort of confusing array of images in the header. Is this a super sexy sex site, a family-snack-DIY site, a style site, or a pseudo-stolen-spirituality site?


Screenshot of the Header Images on GOOP

Of course, for Ms. Goop, it is all of the above. The true Goop-tastic woman is into all of it.

A quick scan of the site reveals it to be basically exactly the same as every other lifestyle blog out there. They use terms like "skin protocol" instead of "skin-care routine", "fashion moment" instead of "thing to wear", assume you are going to make homemade sushi for your kids' lunch, and include a number of avocado-related tips. This place is 100% un-special, except that occasionally instead of a stock image there is a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow.

I assume that the real problematic aspects to Goop that are just waiting to be made fun of are in the "Be" (spirituality) and "Do" (health and fitness) sections.

There is a sweetly confusing quote that is featured in Be, for an article called Unpoisoning Relationships: "the quality of your relationship actually has very little to do with your level of education, or how psychologically sophisticated you are, or whether you understand whether your parent’s marriage was good or bad."

I guess a very educated, "psychologically sophisticated" person might think they are more likely to have an enlightened and loving relationship, but really? Do people actually think there's a correlation between relationship quality and education? That makes me sad.

Okay, now a little trip down Do lane, to see about the health and wellness side.

In a Q&A on whether non-toxic bug sprays actually work, I learned that you can actually get a poison-free bug repellant that is also glamorous! Ooooooooooo!

Then I learned that the author thinks this stuff is glamorous because it's called Patio Oil, it comes in a silvery tube, and it costs $30. She's not wrong that glamour is born from giving things fancy names and fancy packaging before marking the price up by a zillion percent, but still. The amount she drools over this stuff can only really be explained by the fact that you can buy it in the Goop store.

Final verdict: Goop is simply a not-very-well-written lifestyle blog and the only thing that makes it special is that a famous person started it. Alas. Let's move on with our lives.


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