Singalong! Don't You Want Me Baby by The Human League

I love this song! I love it EVEN MORE now that we are living in the #metoo era, because all the layers of uncomfortableness in the dynamic between the two voices has become ABUNDANTLY clear. BUT! The woman is consistent and strong in her assertion that she needs to go live life on her own. Good job, woman!



DON'T YOU WANT ME
by The Human League

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up
And turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet
Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too.

Don't. Don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't. Don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

It's much too late to find
When you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don't you want me, baby?
Don't you want me? Oh!
Don't you want me, baby?
Don't you want me? Oh!

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good at times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I live my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do

Don't. Don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't. Don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me

It's much too late to find
When you think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Don't you want me, baby?
Don't you want me? Oh!
Don't you want me, baby?
Don't you want me? Oh!




The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Learning! Roundup: Clothes that Fight Illness, Women in Leadership, Too Old for Snapchat, and More!

Soon you'll be able to buy clothes that fight diseases, thanks to bacteria-killing nanofibres.
Photo by Shanna Camilleri

Bacteria-Killing Clothes

I have previously been mostly creeped out by the fancy things they put in fabric these days. (When they wick your sweat, where does the sweat go?) But! This is cool: clothes could be made with bacteria-killing nanofibres, and that could help stop or slow the spread of illness.

Women in STEM

My partner and I were having a conversation recently about women in STEM, and he asked at what point in a society can you just assume that a career isn't as interesting (in general) to a particular group and not worry it comes from inequality. Obviously that is a really hard question to answer, but it has something to do with the overall equality of the society in general. Well, interestingly, new research shows that the more equal a society is, the less women go into the field. I feel like this requires further investigation.

Make Up and Leadership

Speaking of women in the workplace, apparently women who wear heavier make up are less likely to be considered to be good leaders. Hooray for groundless stereotypes!

Too Old for Snapchat

It's official: I am too old for Snapchat, and maybe you are too? New research shows that adults over 30 years old dislike Snapchat and opt for Facebook instead. (I would actually vote that Instragram is my social media of choice, but they are owned by Facebook, so it's probably the same thing.)

Smart Genes

They have now found more than 500 genes associated with intelligence. This makes me feel like we have some time before people start trying to genetically manipulate their offspring into being more intelligent, which is comforting, in general.

Go Find Yourself

Apparently people who travel the world in order to "find themselves" actually do. The more time spent living abroad, the more people are able to differentiate their own personal values from those of the broader culture they were raised in.

Schools vs. Genetics

If you have a kid and you're stressing about what school to send them to, it's worth knowing that their genetics will play a greater role in their performance and learning than the school they go to. So I guess it's all up to you.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

There is a Serious Problem in Black Panther and Nobody's Talking About It

There was a SERIOUS flaw in Black Panther, and nobody seems to be talking about it.It bugged me from the second I realized what was happening on screen. I CAN'T STAY SILENT ANYMORE, I MUST BRING IT UP.

You know the car chase scene where Okoye is riding on top of the car wielding a spear like the warrior goddess she is in a magnificent red dress?



WHY WAS THERE NEVER A WIDE SHOT OF HER ON TOP OF THE CAR WITH HER DRESS ETHEREALLY BILLOWING AROUND HER????

Seriously, guys. This was NOTICEABLE. All the shots were pretty tight on her, and thus missed their chance for some majorly stunning visuals. Zoom out a little - just a little - and get the car, the city flying by, and Okoye crouched and dangerous, red fabric flying wild around her.

It would have been a stunning picture. STUNNING!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

I Want a Beehive in My House, but I'm Scared

You can now keep a beehive in your home.


Downsides:

-they are probably noisy
-what if you don't even get any bees?
-what if the bees escape?
-what if it turns out that all beehives are networked into one giant, global hive and there is a queen bee and she is BIG and she comes looking for her minions?
-am I home when that happens?

Upsides:

-I love honey and am absurdly picky about the source of my honey (only that which comes from my aunt and uncle's bee farm will do), and this honey could also be good, or at least good enough to fill the void between visits from them
-they are kind of attractive in design
-they would definitely be a conversation starter
-what if it turns out that all beehives are networked to one giant, global hive and there is a queen bee and she is super GRATEFUL to me for taking such good care of some of her babies in a time when bees are under threat and dying everywhere and rewards me with a lifetime supply of QUEEN BEE HONEY?

So... I do have more upsides than downsides, but the downsides are pretty powerful in their very nature.

My boyfriend recommended that instead of filling our home with terrifying bees, I get some nice, friendly flies, which is an entirely useless suggestion. Bees make delicious honey! Flies do nothing but get in your face and microscopically poop on your food.

Image Source: Giphy


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Inspiration! Roundup: Mister Rogers, George Harrison, and Loving the Questions

This Week's "I want to go to there": I would really like someone to scoop me up
and take me somewhere cool.
Photo by Savs.

Making Mistakes

I think we could all use a little more Mister Rogers in our lives. Here, Mister Rogers talks about mistakes - you know we all make them, and so it's okay! Learn a lesson and keep on keeping on.


George Harrison

A post shared by Dick Vincent (@dickvincent) on

Love the Questions

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
― Rainer Maria Rilke

X-Ray Music

I really love this collection of Soviet-era musical records made out of x-rays.

Just Ask

"By just asking for something, you often get something incredible. You just have to ask."
-Richard Renaldi (via)

Dancing in the Eighties

This supercut of dance scenes in 80s movies makes me want to join in!


Vivian Torrence Artwork

I was blown away by the artwork included in Carl Sagan's book Chemistry Imagined, by collage artist Vivian Torrence.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Testing Equality: How Mandatory Quotas Worked Out for Women in Business

Norway mandated quotas for women in board of director roles in business. It didn't go terribly, but it didn't really go great either.
Fun Fact: when I searched for pictures of professional women, I mostly got pictures of women frolicking on the beach and men in suits.
Image by Rawpixel

You know how people are talking now about the need for more women on the boards of directors of large companies? Well, the eternally-advanced folks in Norway (and a few other European countries) were on that ten years ago, and now we have some statisticsto see how it went.

Specifically, in 2008, Norway decided that all publicly-listed companies needed to have at least 40% of the members on boards of directors as women.

The results? To be brief, they are mixed.

The big fears were not realized.

There weren't a bunch of token women who don't understand things being shoved into powerful roles, nor were a tiny pool of qualified women being stretched way too thin (a bit of that did happen, but it happened with men too, so it wasn't necessarily related to the quotas).

The expected benefits, however, also went unrealized.

The whole point of quotas for women in top-level management is to improve the upward trajectory of women in business and help reduce the wage gap. (There are also arguments made that companies with more women in leadership are more profitable and make better decisions, but that usually comes up when proponents of quotas are trying to get heartless capitalists on their side. They are also pure correlation.)

The frustrating truth is that none of those benefits materialized. The companies didn't suddenly become havens for women to rise in the ranks, nor did they close the pay gap for any but a few super-qualified ladies (condescendingly referred to as "golden skirts" - yay for finding ways to demean successful women!)

So what now, then?

It didn't fail as spectacularly as some feared, but it sure didn't succeed either. It might be tempting to just wash our hands and walk away from trying to encourage equity in the workplace, but ah-ha! I think that's the wrong takeaway.

If you ask me, this is EXCITING. This is DATA. This is INFORMATION. Now we know some precise things that didn't work, and we can ask ourselves: do we want to iterate, make a few adjustments to the same idea, and try again? Should we, instead, try something totally different? What could have been the main reasons for the failure here?

If you ask me, one of the main problems is that of culture. Inserting a few women, even at the top, isn't going to automatically change the culture of an organization. In fact, most women who rise to a level that they would be invited onto the board of a larger company probably got there by playing the game and fitting into a corporate culture, not challenging it.

So what else could we try?

We could assume that quotas take more time to work their magic and give it ten more years.

We could take the quotas-plus approach and say that quotas are important, but not quite enough. Perhaps in addition companies need to do culture-audits to see what practices and expectations are being put in place and how they impact both male and female employees.

We could try a whole different approach: take the childcare burden off the table by instituting universal childcare AND mandating both parents take leave when the child is born so that it's not just the mothers who get directly involved in the day-to-day of raising a child.

We could start taking allegations of sexual harassment in the workplace much more seriously.

We could make it so that companies aren't allowed to have official meetings in strip clubs or other such places.

We could try going full Jurassic Park, wait for the dinosaurs to kill all the men, and have women inherit the earth. (Okay, that one's not serious, I just like that Jurassic Park quote.)


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Singalong! Ready to Go by Republica

Every since I first heard this song, it became a go-to song for dancing out any and all sorrows. It always makes me want to jump around and shake my head in some combination of aggression and joy.


READY TO GO
by Republica

Ready to go
Ready to go

You're weird in tears, too near and too far away
He said, "Saw red, " went home stayed in bed all day
Your T-shirt's dish dirt always love the one you hurt

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah, I'm standing on the rooftops
Shouting out baby I'm ready to go
I'm back I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah I'm standing on the rooftops
Having it baby I'm ready to go
I'm back, I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out
Shout it out

You sleep too deep, one week is another world
Big mouth, big mouth, drop out, drop out
You get what you deserve
You're strange, insane, one thing you can never change

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah, I'm standing on the rooftops
Shouting out baby I'm ready to go
I'm back I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah, I'm standing on the rooftops
Having it baby I'm ready to go
I'm back, I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out
Shout it out

Ready to go

Abused, confused, always love the one
You hurt, you hurt, you hurt, you hurt, you

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah, I'm standing on the rooftops
Shouting out baby I'm ready to go
I'm back I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out

It's a crack, I'm back
Yeah, I'm standing on the rooftops
Having it baby I'm ready to go
I'm back, I'm ready to go
From the rooftops shout it out

Its a crack
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
Baby, I'm ready to go
...

Sing along to the best "dance it out" song of all time: Ready to Go by Republica
Image Source: Giphy


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Learning! Roundup: Unicorns Were Real, Violent Video Games, Baby Logic, and More!

Image Source: Creative Commons

Unicorns Were Real

Turns out that unicorns were real, but they were terrifying creatures. Instead of being beautiful, mystical horses with graceful horns that may or may not grant eternal life, it's more like a precursor to the rhinoceros with a little wooly mammoth thrown in: big and heavy, with a huge knife sticking out of its head.

Video Games and Violence

The research over whether or not violent video games lead to aggression in real life is still, well, in a battle. A new study has come out on the "don't worry about it" side, showing that violent video games do not produce any long-term effects on a person's behaviour (among adults).

Babies Get Logic

Since I am at that life stage where many of my friends have kids in the baby-to-toddler age range, I have heard them say many times, "Oh, she understands me," about a baby who is barely speaking and can't really respond. I always wondered how on earth they could tell. Research has now vindicated those parents, showing that babies without language are able to understand logic.

The Irish Weren't Slaves

Apparently there is a nice little internet myth going around that says that the Irish were once slaves. Naturally, it's used to try to undermine conversations about slavery of black people in America and any responsibility for white Americans for social change now, because people are the worst. Well, it's not true: the Irish were never slaves.

Raising Boys

This is a lovely collection of advice, based on scientific research, on what to do at various developmental stages for boys in order to raise them to care more about people's feelings and (just maybe) respect women when they are adults.

Coupling Up

Turns out that being in a good romantic relationship may lead you to have a healthier lifestyle overall, but it does also make you more likely to gain weight. I guess we really do just care a little less about social pressure to be thin once we've found someone!




The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

On the Potential Buffy Reboot: Don't Do It. But if You Must, Here is How.

Image Source: Giphy

Rumours have it that Fox wants a reboot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

On one hand, I don't blame them. Buffy was hugely successful, still has a fan following, and we are living in the era of reboots. Why not?

On the other hand, please please just don't! Buffy already got resurrected - as a character and a series - when the show was cancelled and then picked up by another network but they had already killed Buffy because the show was cancelled and then had to bring her back to life.

Guess what happened? Through the plot, we learned that bringing people back to life is selfish and cruel, at best. Through the TV show's existence we learned that stories, once wrapped are also best left to rest in peace. (Although some of the finest stand-alone episodes came post-resurrection.)

On yet another hand, it seems like every 3-4 years there is a rumour of a Buffy reboot, so it seems unlikely.

On an additional hand, this one sounds more legit.

On the final hand of this many-handed creature, if it is real, just create a new show about a different monster-killing lady. Maybe pick a lady who isn't blonde this time. Oooooh! Make the monster colonialism! I mean, it would have to be a metaphor because of the whole "colonialism is a concept, not a corporeal being", but Buffy fights noncorporeal things all the time! Let's have a show about a team of plucky teens who hunt down and wipe out colonialism!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Inspiration! Roundup: Faux Fur Miniatures, Open Minds, Next Eggs, and More!

This Week's "I want to go to there": I want to learn how to paint with watercolours!

O Pioneer

I love photographer Areca Roe's series O Pioneer, using faux fur to create miniature scenes of the American West.

Open Mind

Honestly, at first I didn't like Johnson Tsang's series of sculptures with open minds. But I keep wanting to look at them again.


What is Your Production Function?

A production function is an economic term that describes how a company or economy's inputs relate to their outputs. How hanging planters are made out of raw materials and labour. In the podcast Conversations with Tyler, he asks each of his guests what their production function is. How their personal and private life aligns with the output/public side of their life. It's a fascinating question.

Thoughts as Nest Eggs

"Each thought that is welcomed and recorded is a nest egg, by the side of which more will be laid. Thoughts accidentally thrown together become a frame in which more may be developed and exhibited."
-Thoreau on journalling (via)


Les Passants


Stunning!


Life

“Life would be tragic if it weren’t funny.”
– Stephen Hawking

It Happens All the Time


via


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

The Receptionist on Society6

Remember my Society6 shop? I do! Here's a taste of some newer items:




Come visit!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Book Club: His Dark Materials Trilogy by Philip Pullman


GUYS! I am currently re-reading the His Dark Materials trilogy, by Philip Pullman, and it is SO GOOD! So good. Have you read it before? You should read it now, regardless.

HERE'S WHY YOU NEED TO READ IT NOW: They are making a TV series about it and you HAVE to read the whole trilogy first so that you know it all.

Here are some things you need to know about this trilogy:

1) There was a movie made out of the first book (The Golden Compass) and it is by far the worst book-to-movie adaptation I have ever seen in my life. Do not bother unless you want to experience a lot of anger. If you have seen the movie but have not read the books, all I can say is that you were horribly deceived.

2) It is a retelling of Paradise Lost.

3) Part of Philip Pullman's motivation for writing it was because he noticed that in the Narnia books, the girls got kicked out of the story once they came of age. He wanted to write a series where girls and women continue to adventure through their lives.

4) If you are a science-minded person, it is possible that the way he talks about science will be annoying. It's a fantasy universe with magic-like tools and he uses vague notions of quantum physics to explain them. As far as I know, he's not wrong to do so, but it's maybe become a bit of a frustrating cliché since every pseudo-spiritual-scientist-type started using quantum physics like mystical candy. Remember that he wrote the books in the 80s, before all that.

5) The books have been burned (so to speak - I don't think there have been literal burnings, although who am I kidding? Probably someone has.) for being anti-Christian. The first time I read them I staunchly defended them against that claim pretty strongly, but this time around, I'm actually not so sure. There is a lot of anti-religious sentiment in there. If you are a believer in any religion, you should still read them.

6) The heroes of His Dark Materials are largely explorers and scientists. That's pretty cool, if you ask me.

7) The books do not offer much in the way of explanation of the world or circumstances. You jump in and go, figuring out everything along the way. It's kind of exhilarating.

8) Honestly, despite potentially being anti-religious, in some ways I think this series could be used as a wisdom myth or scripture on its own. If they were, here are some of the quotes that I would use as key verses:

“Seems to me-" Lee said, feeling for the words, "seems to me the place you fight cruelty is where you find it, and the place you give help is where you see it needed....”

“That’s what you are. Argue with anything else, but don’t argue with your own nature.”

“You have to work. Did you think you could snap your fingers, and have it as a gift? What is worth having is worth working for.”

And, to round things off, a nice quote from Pullman to stand on its own:

“If you want to write anything that works, you have to go with the grain of your talent, not against it. If your talent is inert and sullen in the face of business or politics...but takes fire at the thought of ghosts and vampires and witches and demons then feed the flames, feed the flames.”


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Cute! Roundup: Cat Confusion, Baby Penguins, and the Elephant in the Room

This was a moment of deep confusion with my dear Gertie. I came home from work,fed her by putting food in the little orange ball, and then instead of her gobbling it down as quickly as she can (which she used to do so quickly she would then vomit, hence the food ball to slow things down a bit), she sniffed it, wandered around, cuddled me, sniffed it more, walked around again, and basically continued to be a completely different cat.


OTHER CUTENESS:

A truly adorable baby penguin!

Could this be the least comfortable way for a cat to sleep?

It's time to acknowledge the elephant in the room.

This deer is definitely comfortable with humans!

A baby cuddle puddle for the ages.

Another baby penguin, to bring us full circle!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Singalong! Cornflake Girl by Tori Amos

This song is dating me to particular era and type of moody teenage girlhood, but here you go. I started listening to Tori Amos around grade ten and was immediately sucked into her world of swirling feelings and darkness-tinged-with-strength. These days this song might be flagged for girl-against-girl criticism, but it's more about not fitting in than hating on any particular type.

Oooooh! Also! This song has some gloriously-confusing lyrics that could make no sense or could be super deep poetry and so it was just perfect for me.


CORNFLAKE GIRL
by Tori Amos

Never was a cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution
Hanging with the raisin girls
She's gone to the other side
Giving us a yo heave ho
Things are getting kind of gross
And I go at sleepy time
This is not really happening
You bet your life it is [3x]

Peal out the watchword
Just peal out the watchword

She knows what's going on
Seems we got a cheaper feel now
All the sweeties are gone
Gone to the other side
With my encyclopedia
They must've paid her a nice price
She's putting on her string bean love
This is not really happening
You bet your life it is [3x]

Peal our the watchword
Just peal out the watchword

Never was a cornflake girl
Thought that was a good solution

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys, girl?
Rabbit, where'd you put the keys, girl?
Rabbit, where'd you put the keys?
Oh, yeah
Rabbit, where'd you put the keys, where'd you put the keys, girl

And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much
Thinks he knows so much yeah
(Don't close this door I know it's so easy)
And the man with the golden gun thinks he knows so much
Thinks he knows so much yeah
(To close this door I know it's so easy)

Rabbit, where'd you put the keys, girl?
Oh yes, rabbit, where'd you put the keys, girl?
Rabbit, where'd you put the keys?
Oh yeah
Rabbit, where'd you put the keys, girl?

Image Source: Giphy


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Learning! Roundup: Brain vs. Brawn, Sarcastic Fringehead, Fixing Gender Imbalances, Nose Tricks, and More!

Photo by Ben White

The Brain and the Brawn

Looks like animals with bigger brains really do have less muscle mass. If you are brainy, you are less likely to be brawny!

The Sarcastic Fringehead

Mostly I just wanted everyone to know that there is a fish out there called the sarcastic fringehead. I mean, did someone let a toddler Jerry Seinfeld name the fish? They have huge mouths with fluorescent lining.

Fixing Imbalances

This science writer spent two years fixing gender imbalances in his reporting. It was extra work, but not a ton of work, and mostly boiled down to keeping records of what he was doing. It's a great article for anyone who a) still needs convincing that there is a gender gap in science (he quotes tons of studies to back up that there is a problem), or b) wants a case study in how to fix it.

"Crucially, I tracked how I was doing in a simple spreadsheet. I can’t overstate the importance of that: It is a vaccine against self-delusion. It prevents me from wrongly believing that all is well. I’ve been doing this for two years now. Four months after I started, the proportion of women who have a voice in my stories hit 50 percent, and has stayed roughly there ever since, varying between 42 and 61 percent from month to month."

The Nose Knows

A person with a thermal camera can now tell how much of a cognitive workload you are under, because the temperature of your nose changes. Really, your whole face changes in temperature, but it's more obvious in the nose, possibly because our breathing changes as we focus on a task. Creepily, they want to put thermal cameras around so that workers can be monitored for their level of focus and mental load.

Monkey Curiosity

If you've seen an orangutan in captivity, you would probably expect them to be a curious lot. That's because they are - but only in captivity. Wild orangutans are not curious in the least. Living with humans changes them.

Effortless Memory Boosters 

This is one of those tricky headlines: an effortless way to strengthen your memory. It's not telling lies: the way to strengthen your memory is to take a break while trying to memorize or learn something and literally do nothing for 10-15 minutes so your brain can process what it's learned. But of course, doing nothing is hard for a lot of us, so this effortless activity is pretty dang challenging.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Taking Songs Too Seriously: Rewrite the Stars from The Greatest Showman

You may have noticed already that I love the musical The Greatest Showman. Everything about it is perfect. (Obviously that is not true, there are many things to critique in it, it's about the creation of the circus freak show, for goodness' sake.)

For now, however, I would like to unpack the beautiful wishful-love song Rewrite the Stars, because I think it's the perfect example of privilege vs. lived oppression and isn't that fun to dig right into?


PHILIP: You know I want you / It's not a secret I try to hide / I know you want me / So don't keep saying our hands are tied / You claim it's not in the cards / And fate is pulling you miles away / And out of reach from me"

Okay, so far it's all romantic pleading. You could make it sinister if you really wanted, but let's just leave this part be.

PHILIP: But you're here in my heart / So who can stop me if I decide / That you're my destiny?

Ummmmm... I think she can stop you. Or at least, you should really give her the power to stop you, otherwise this is getting all kinds of bad, fast.

It's the kind of mumbo jumbo we see in a lot of romantic songs where the premise is "because I feel all these things they must be shared and actionable and why should I get what I want?" Well, there are lots of reasons why we don't get things we want, and that sucks, but it's life.

PHILIP: What if we rewrite the stars? / Say you were made to be mine / Nothing could keep us apart / You'd be the one I was meant to find / It's up to you, and it's up to me / No one can say what we get to be / So why don't we rewrite the stars? / Maybe the world could be ours / Tonight

This is the crux of his argument: that they have control over their lives and destinies and aren't subject to the fates or any external forces. Well, dear Philip, who in this world is legitimately going to feel that way? YOU! The dude who has never had an external force hold him back from anything, ever!



ANNE: You think it's easy / You think I don't want to run to you / But there are mountains / And there are doors that we can't walk through / I know you're wondering why / Because we're able to be / Just you and me / Within these walls / But when we go outside / You're gonna wake up and see that it was hopeless after all

It's tempting to say she's being too negative here, but this woman is speaking from EXPERIENCE.

ANNE: No one can rewrite the stars / How can you say you'll be mine? / Everything keeps us apart / And I'm not the one you were meant to find 

Not only does she have experience telling her that fate is what it is and she has to work within the system she was born into, but she isn't some prize or soulmate out to save and complete him!

ANNE: It's not up to you, it's not up to me / When everyone tells us what we can be / How can we rewrite the stars? / Say that the world can be ours / Tonight

ANNE and PHILIP: All I want is to fly with you / All I want is to fall with you / So just give me all of you

Guys! They BOTH love each other! It's so beautiful!



ANNE: It feels impossible / PHILIP: It's not impossible
ANNE: Is it impossible? / PHILIP: Say that it's possible
ANNE and PHILIP: How do we rewrite the stars? / Say you were made to be mine? / Nothing can keep us apart / Cause you are the one I was meant to find / It's up to you, and it's up to me / No one can say what we get to be / And why don't we rewrite the stars? / Changing the world to be ours

UGH! The most HEARTBREAKING back and forth where her deepest self sees how impossible it is, but she wants so badly for it not to be. She lets herself spend a second imagining a future where his optimism and experiences actually apply to her and it is all she ever wanted.

ANNE: You know I want you / It's not a secret I try to hide / But I can't have you / We're bound to break and / My hands are tied

Pure sadness. She has indulged in his vision, she wants it so bad, but she knows (so deeply, she knows) what the world is really like for her. It is terrible. Everyone is sad, especially her because she was forced to be the one to say no.



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

I Would Like to Introduce You to My Celeb Family

New idea: a reality show where regular people submit the list of celebrities that were important to them growing up. It's called My Celeb Family, and they get to hang out in a house full of the actors, singers, writers, or other such people who were not only ever-present as they grew into themselves, but perhaps even helped shape who that person would be.

Here is my submission for what My Celeb Family house would look like:

The Grew-Up-Next-Door Bestie: Amy Grant


Amy Grant is the classic bestie. She is fun and lighthearted, but knows when to take something seriously. She will encourage you to jump off the end of the dock when you're scared but won't push you in, keeps all yours secrets, doesn't make a mess when she paints your nails, and gives very thoughtful advice. She is always free for a sleepover, invites you to go on family vacations with her, and gets double prints of all her photos so you can have one.

The Weird Aunt: Celine Dion


Auntie Céline always brings a present, but half the time you have no idea what it is. She will sit at the kids table whenever she can and tell wild tales with the most vivid facial expressions you've ever seen. If she decides it's time to go, time for dinner, or really time for anything, she will probably announce it by bending her knees deeply and singing it at the top of her lungs, pointing whichever way we need to go. She cries very easily. Whatever problem you have, she will tell you to go after the most daring solution, and always believes in love.

The Family Elder: Oprah


Most people call her Mama, regardless of their relation to her. She always has either a tea cup or a glass of red wine in her hand. She listens to everything you have to say, gives concise but rich advice, and if you go out with her she knows almost everyone in town. No matter how old you are, or how simple your experience, it always feels like she is really interested in what you have to say. She introduces you to people like you really matter.

The Soul Mate: Sarah Slean


Sarah the soul sister you meet in high school, just when life feels like it's turning inside out. You talk about whatever is on your heart right now, and she says, "oooooh, I know what you mean," and it really feels like she does. She feels everything to the deepest depth possible, eats only organic, makes her own jewelry, and will create a ritual ceremony for whatever ails you: heartbreak, test anxiety, confusion about the future, or parental woes.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Inspiration! Roundup: Irony Doesn't Scale, Endings Are Hard, Hope, Winning, and More!

This Week's "I want to to go there": I am craving straight-up summer vibes.
Photo by Lionel Gustave.

Irony Doesn't Scale

"If there’s one rule that applies everywhere, it’s that Irony Doesn’t Scale. Jokes and asides can be taken out of context; witty complaints can be read as lack of enthusiasm. People are watching closely for clues to their future. Your dry little bon mot can be read as “He’s joking but maybe we are doomed!” You are always just one hilarious joke away from a sick system."
-Richard Ziade

On Writing Endings


"Endings are tough, particularly these days. You don't want to tie every knot because it looks old-fashioned and artificial if you do, but how do you find the sense of an ending and still the ambiguity that gives a play weight?"

Doctors Protest Their Pay

The big news in Canadian healthcare last week was a protest from doctors against a pay raise they were given, arguing that they are already being paid enough and perhaps that money should go to nurses, clerks, and other support staff instead.

It is both mind-blowing and so incredibly obvious that this could and should happen. Very proud of all these doctors right now.

Hope for Others

The caption for this image says, "May my hope for others never be darkened by my personal disappointments," and it fills me with heart emojis.


How to Win

"I’ve got to look at all of my options carefully, even the ones I find distasteful. I know I can broaden the definition of winning to the point where I can’t lose."
-Audre Lorde on her fight with cancer

Why Did God Create Atheists?

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook, and I think it's a beautiful notion to consider, whether you identify more with the atheist or religious person in the text.


Ballet on a Pole

This video of a male ballet dancer pole dancing is gorgeous!



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Learning About S-E-X


Some kids learn about sex because a parent, older sibling, or other experienced person sits down and actually tells them how it works. This could be good or bad depending on how much that person really knows and if they are being a jerk or not.

Other kids, like me, slowly pieced little tidbits of information about sex together, until it all became clear. It's like Hansel and Gretel following a bunch of breadcrumbs, but instead of bread crumbs they were puzzle pieces and instead of a puzzle it was sex and also many of the pieces were wrong or didn't fit or even have anything to do with this particular puzzle, even though people might insist that they did.

Here are the landmark breadcrumb-puzzle-pieces in my understanding of the whole thing.

Phase One: Book Learning

My mom left a book conspicuously on the bookshelf called Where Do Babies Come From? I don't remember the exact wording of the subtitle, but it definitely had the word sex in it, so it grabbed our interest. (Did she realize she left a book about sex out in the open? Sex is bad, right? Or grown up? We aren't supposed to know about it, right? Will we get in trouble if we read it? Was it an accident? Are we allowed? Excitement! Intrigue!)

Just as (I am sure) she intended, we would secretly pull it down and sneak-read it under the dining room table to learn about sex and sex-related things. It all felt very adventurous and taboo and exciting.

Of course, it was a book geared towards children, so it was a pretty simple delivery of the biological side of things. There was a picture of a man and woman sitting next to each other on a couch, some text about them loving each other very much, and then it jumped to pictures of sperm and eggs.

In the end, mildly disappointing. The sperm and egg are cool and all, but that wasn't the sex part! How did that sperm get in there in the first place? INQUIRING MINDS NEEDED TO KNOW!

Phase Two: Television

My next major event in understanding came as a preteen. (Maybe a pre-preteen? How old do you have to be to count as a preteen? I was definitely in elementary school.)

Here is what I remember: it was summer. Our family was eating dinner outside in the backyard because it was nice out. I finished and went inside to watch TV. We had (as usual) lost the remote, so I was sitting beside the TV, flipping channels by pressing buttons on the VCR to see what was on.

I came across what looked like some kind of teen movie. It was a teenage boy and girl kissing. Then they started taking off their clothes. I repeat: a boy and a girl were kissing and taking their clothes off. I was riveted.

It only progressed to them kissing in their underwear, but I remember sitting there, frozen, staring at the TV. My finger was poised on the button to change the channel and I kept glancing at the door to the patio so that I could flip away should anyone walk in.

It was all very... interesting.

I remember thinking, "This must be what sex is."

Phase Three: An Amorphous Understanding

After that, a slow understanding began to flourish. I saw enough movies and TV shows that suggested (always just suggested, after all, it was the 90s and my parents were pretty protective of what I saw) some more specific actions beyond standing in your underwear and kissing, and I eventually pieced together the mechanics of the whole thing.

Once I figured out that more went on than rolling back and forth with sheets that carefully covered your bathing suit areas, I decided that it was, at least functionally, a very gross activity. I knew that people liked it, and I had feelings that made me very interested in the whole thing, but also that the objective truth of it was that is was gross and messy. I don't think I was entirely wrong.

PS: I literally just realized something as I wrote this: from now on, kids won't get to have this strange, meandering understanding of sex anymore, will they? With the internet and all the porn, it is inevitable that they'll just see a bunch of very adult close ups and immediately know exactly what is going on.

I don't know, that sounds kind of disappointing. The confusion and intrigue and investigation was all kind of fun, if you ask me.

UPDATE: I talked to my mom. Turns out she DID sit down and talk to me, I just don't remember. Huh. Memory is weird.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Singalong! Who Will Save Your Soul by Jewel

The nineties were a special time of gentle folk music with scathing social commentary. This was one of my faves.


WHO WILL SAVE YOUR SOUL?
by Jewel

People living their lives for you on TV
They say they're better than you and you agree
He says "Hold my calls from behind those cold brick walls"
Says "Come here boys, there ain't nothing for free"
Another doctor's bill, a lawyer's bill
Another cute cheap thrill
You know you love him if you put in your will

[Chorus:]
Who will save your soul when it comes to the flower?
Who will save your soul after all the lies that you told, boy?
Who will save your soul if you won't save your own?

We try to hustle them, try to bustle them, try to cuss them
The cops want someone to bust down on Orleans Avenue
Another day, another dollar, another war,
Another tower went up, where the homeless had their homes
So we pray to as many different Gods as there are flowers
But we call religion our friend
We're so worried about saving our souls
Afraid that God will take His toll
That we forget to begin

[Chorus]

Some are walking, some are talking, some are stalking their kill
You got social security, but that doesn't pay your bills
There are addictions to feed and there are mouths to pay
So you bargain with the Devil, say you're OK for today,
You say that you love them, take their money and run
Say it's been swell, sweetheart, but it was just one of those things
Those flings, those strings you've got to cut,
So get out on the streets, girls, and bust you butts.

[Chorus]

Photo by Jennifer Stoddart. CC.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Learning! Roundup: The Right Number of Friends to Have, Nature/Nurture, First Kisses, and More!

Photo by Zachary Nelson.

The Right Number of Friends

In an age where we are obsessing (rightly so) over social isolation and the effects of loneliness, how many good friends to you really need to have? A researcher named Dunbar figured it out: 3-5 close friends and about 15 people you like to hang with on the regular.

Nature vs. Nurture

According to a new study looking at people's understanding of the contributions of genetics vs. environment to a person, most of us have relatively accurate views - or at least have the same amount of inaccuracy, just over different traits. The most accurate judges were women who had multiple biological children.

First Kisses

Looking at college freshmen and their experiences with kissing uncovers some interesting facts: 14% of freshmen have never been kissed on the lips. When my kissless-lips started university, I would have really appreciated knowing this.

Quick Car Chargers

Personally, I love the quick charge ability of my phone's wall adapter, and I'm sure once we're all driving electric cars we will be stoked with the discovery that cars running on supercapacitors can be charged in mere minutes. MINUTES!

Tall Men

There are lots of societal advantages to being a tall man, unless, it turns out, you are a man who is not white. For black men who are tall, instead of being seen as more attractive leaders who deserve lots of money, it amplifies other stereotypes around threat.

Basic Income Evaluation

In Ontario they have been testing what happens when you give money, like real amounts of money you can live on, to people in poverty. The result so far is that people are thriving.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

TODAY IS INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY!!!!

International Women's Day, Germany, 1917. CC.

I didn't prepare a post in advance to celebrate this day. Honestly, I completely forgot it was coming.

So here are some off-the-cuff thoughts for International Women's Day:

Women are pretty neat, as a grouping of people.

It sucks that we keep being considered less, as a grouping of people.

Sometimes it feels like we make some progress in one area, and then everyone finds a new, subtler way to shift their attitudes to keep us at bay. I don't think that is actually happening, but it can feel that way.

I don't know the best ways to improve equality (or equity or whatever term is more correct to use), but I am always happy to see someone trying something.

I wanted to say that I am currently reading more books by women, but that's not true! The last few books I have read were by men. If you don't pay attention, it's easy to have everything you read and watch come from men, because most things do.

Some podcasts by women that I'm digging lately: Small Doses, Another Round, Two Dope Queens, Good Muslim Bad Muslim, Criminal.

I am glad weird goddess ladies like Björk exist. Also strong, smart, gracious goddess ladies like Michelle Obama.

There are goddess ladies of all sorts to inspire us all!

Some women have babies, which means they grow a whole entire person (sometimes several whole entire people at once) inside them. Think about it. It is a weird, creepy, insane miracle that does not define womanhood and is also exclusive to women and that's bananas.

Some women also create food with their bodies, in a non-cannibalistic way. That is another weird, creepy, insane miracle.

I have always been glad that I was born a woman. Not in a superiority way, just for myself.

I haven't watched the Mel Gibson movie What Women Want since it was new in theatres a zillion years ago. I bet it's terrible and doesn't hold up, and also it features Mel Gibson who we know to be a not-great person, but it's always good to remember the lesson he learns in the end: that women are not a monolithic group that all wants the same thing. We are (gasp!) a whole bunch of different people with different wants and needs. Cool!

Some fictional women that I imagine best friendship with: Leslie Knope, Hermione Granger, Murphy Brown, Lyra Belaqua/Silvertongue, Essun/Damaya.

I would also really want to be besties with April Ludgate, but I would feel a little insecure that I wasn't cool enough.



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!

Catching Up On Ridiculous Enthusiasm

Let's see what's been happening in the land of over-the-top enjoyment of little things with our friends at Ridiculous Enthusiasm!










The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and BONUS CONTENT!