Singalong! Long December by Counting Crows

It's almost the new year! I always thought of this song as purely a bummer; I'd listen to it when my goal was straight-up sadness. But you know what? I was wrong. I now think this song is about hope. It's about surviving a long, hard year, with a little hint of something better to come. Regardless of what your personal year has been like, I think we can all see that the world could use a year that was better than the last. Let's sing it into existence.

LONG DECEMBER

by Counting Crows

A long December and there's reason to believe

Maybe this year will be better than the last

I can't remember the last thing that you said as you were leavin'

Now the days go by so fast

And it's one more day up in the canyons

And it's one more night in Hollywood

If you think that I could be forgiven I wish you would

The smell of hospitals in winter

And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls

All at once you look across a crowded room

To see the way that light attaches to a girl

And it's one more day up in the canyons

And it's one more night in Hollywood

If you think you might come to California I think you should

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.

And talked a little while about the year

I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,

Makes you talk a little lower about the things you could not show her

And it's been a long December and there's reason to believe

Maybe this year will be better than the last

I can't remember all the times I tried to tell my myself

To hold on to these moments as they pass

And it's one more day up in the canyon

And it's one more night in Hollywood

It's been so long since I've seen the ocean I guess I should

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Photo by Rutger Hesseling. CC.

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Learning! Roundup: Top science stories, sperms against cervical cancer, less cash for ladies, and more!

Space was involved in several of the top science stories of 2017.
Photo by NASA Goddard Photo and Video on Foter.com / CC BY

Two of the Top Scientific Advancements of 2017

Vice Magazine interviewed two top scientists in London, Sir John Skehel and Alex Halliday, about the top scientific advancements of 2017. They chose genome engineering and the recording of gravitational waves from two neutron stars colliding, and then discussed the impact and ethics involved.

The Top TEN Science Stories of 2017

Scientific American takes Vice's top TWO stories and multiplies it by five, just to win really hard. Top stories include the eclipse, climate change, and the health benefits or harms of marijuana.

Sperm Armies Fight Cervical Cancer

Sperm have another use! Scientists are working on using them to deliver cancer treatments to tumours in the female reproductive tract. They even fitted the sperm out with little magnetic harnesses to help draw them towards the tumours. Adorable!

Woman Artists Get Less Money

A new study shows that art by women sells for 47.6% less than art created by men. Sigh.

Weekly Review

This weekly review checklist blends Getting Things Done and Bullet Journal methods with some valuable reflections. If you're looking to get your life in order for the new year, this could be a good start!

Motivated Reasoning and White Women's Support of Roy Moore

If you, like me, were both unsurprised and horrified at the percentage of white women who voted for Roy Moore in the Alabama State Senate race (as a Canadian, I truly never expected to care about this level of specificity in American politics, but we now live in a dark timeline), here is an interesting analysis of motivated reasoning and how it played into things.

"When we become defensive and threatened, we do everything we have to mitigate that stress. We rationalize, we explain away, we avoid information, we willingly try to get away from it."

Future Superheroes

Due to a gene mutation, there is a family in Italy that doesn't feel pain. Or rather, they don't feel much pain. They had broken bones and fractures that they were completely unaware of - it hurt a bit at the time of the break, and then they moved on with their lives. While this might not be a great trait from evolution's perspective since pain is supposed to help keep us alive, it's still pretty cool and might put us on the road to superhero mutations!

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2017 is almost over - it's time for BEST OF THE YEAR lists!!!

This year is almost over! Do you realize what this means?

BEST OF THE YEAR LISTS!!!

I love best of the year lists. You can get great book/movie/app/whatever recommendation from them AND learn about what has been going on.

Here's a few to get you started, do you have one to share?

Variety's collection of 'best of' lists, including TV shows, albums, ads, and lines on a TV show.

Best advice from some of 2017's top theatre professionals. Okay, this is a bit of a cheat, but there's some AWESOME advice in there! "Go and see work that’s strange to you: live art, dance, theatre in different countries. Don’t just see the kind of work you can imagine making yourself.” - Jeff James

Longform's top ten of the year seems to be a collection of stories from around the internet. Some pretty excellent storytelling and reporting is gathered here.

TIME Magazine Best Portraits of the Year are pretty stunning.

Vox shares the top 11 books of 2017. Because our reading lists aren't already unrealistically long.

Fortune Magazine has the top business stories of the year, including top gadgets, biggest (corporate) break up, and biggest damage control. I'm a little surprised they picked Sheryl Sandberg and not one of the MANY sexual harassers for that (like Uber?) but hey, they do mention the purge later.

TIME's best inventions of the year include Fenty's make up for all skin tones (can't believe that's NEW in 2017) and an elevator that goes up, down, and side to side (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, anyone?)

The New Yorker's year in culture includes books, movies, podcasts, and an analysis of the distracted boyfriend meme.

Paste Magazine has a best comedians list. If you look at the image and are worried that they will cram a bunch of female comics down your throat, fret not, it's still a majority-male list. That's just their tricky marketing!

Fast Company's got your best apps of 2017 list down. These are new ones, so you're not going to see Facebook. PHEW!

LitHub audaciously claims the ULTIMATE best books list. It is a highly researched amalgamation of 22 other best books lists, so they are probably correct in their assertion.

Gizmodo's worst gadgets of 2017. Because it can't all be good and it's fun to make fun of stuff sometimes. Especially when the "stuff" isn't a person that will potentially invite nuclear war and end the world.

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Inspiration! Roundup: The new Harry Potter, teen experts, headless armies, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Christmas is over. Send summer.
Photo by State Library of New South Wales collection on Foter.com / No known copyright restrictions

The New Harry Potter

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE BOTNIK STUDIOS HARRY POTTER BOOK???? This is one of the best things ever made, guaranteed. They fed a bot all the Harry Potter books and then had it write its own story. The result is a hilarious turd spun from the finest gold. According to my partner, who knows about computer things, a big issue with these bots is that they can only remember about three words at a time and don't tend to have a grasp of overall plot, so that's where all this brilliance comes from.

Teen Experts

This collection of advice from teen experts is both inspiring and terrifying. There's a kid in there who invested $1,000 in bitcoin when it still only cost $10 a unit, someone who cooks with a blowtorch, and another who presents a Maya Angelou quote as if it's a standard marketing wisdom.

"I value my time, and I value where I put my energy. If I’m stuck and complacent — and I hate being complacent — then I’ll switch it up. Saying no is taboo, at least for high schoolers, but I’ve just been learning how to say no to things, and that’s been keeping me sane."
-Larissa Lim

Giuseppe Pepe's Headless Army

I am quite taken by Giuseppe Pepe's photograph collection of headless people.

A post shared by Giuseppe Pepe // pepedsgn (@pepedsgn) on Jul 23, 2017 at 11:50pm PDT

Japanese School Girls at School

Thanks to anime and the generally weird sexualization we have around the concept of a "school girl", Japanese school girls are a highly stereotyped group. This collection of photos of girls going to school in Japan is beautiful for its stereotype-free exploration of their world. Also, it seems to capture the malaise of high school life perfectly.

Just Give Us Real Chronology!

This is a really sad story about what can get lost in the Facebook/Twitter/Insta algorithms. I have always reset my feed to "Most Recent" and get supremely annoyed that this is not even a true reverse chronology. I don't know what this post is supposed to inspire... Maybe those of us who care about this can all tell our overlords what we want? Or invent something newer and better?

Testing Experiences

"The only way to have the experience is to have the experience.

Not by looking at the experience.

By having it."

-Seth Godin

The Oldest Drag Bar

Next time any of us go to Portland, we MUST go to Darcelle XV, a club that may be the first drag club in America. Still going! Still headlined by the queen who started it all!

Add Pancakes

Have you seen ADD Pancakes on Instagram? It's a stack of pancakes with ADD, fun facts, and positive affirmations. It's just plain fun.

A post shared by ADD Pancakes (@addpancakes) on Dec 11, 2017 at 7:31am PST

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We need a slogan for 2018!

Image from Giphy.

Ten years ago, on the eve of 2008, a friend of mine decided that we were going to be great in 08. She would say it all the time: "GREAT in OH 8!"

I want a slogan for 2018, but it's harder to come up with a relevant rhyme. Here are some options:

Keep it clean in 2018!

Stay clean in 2018! (Slightly different meaning.)

Don't be mean in 2018!

Eat your beans in 2018!

Live green in 2018!

Turn off the screen in 2018!

Stay keen in 2018!

Swing the tambourine in 2018!

Be a queen in 2018!

Wear your jeans in 2018! (Or maybe "No more jeans in 2018!", depending on how you feel about jeans?)

Make a scene in 2018!

Don't drink kerosene in 2018!

Where you been? It's 2018!

Don't demean in 2018!

Visit the latrine in 2018!

Eat protein in 2018!

Stop using gasoline in 2018!

Wear sunscreen in 2018!

The world's a smokescreen in 2018!

Stay unseen in 2018! (We could direct this one towards certain world leaders.)

Don't fall in a ravine in 2018!

Evergreen in 2018!

Hug wolverine in 2018!

Invent a time machine in 2018!

Regress towards the mean in 2018!

Move to a submarine for 2018!

What do you think? What will be your slogan for the coming year?

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Cute! Christmas Cats

It's Christmas Day! I am going from family to family today, so you get this collection of Christmas cat gifs:

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Here's some bummer news for Christmas Eve

Ready for your Christmas bummer? While you're hanging out with family, eating and drinking more than you should, much of what you are enjoying was manufactured, packaged, harvested, or delivered by low-wage workers who are being taken advantage of.

For one example, Christmas tree cutters in North Carolina are taken advantage of in an extreme way, including having their wages stolen and fearing terrible injury on the job.

I know it's easier to pretend we don't know these things so that we can enjoy the gluttony and consumerism without any bad feelings, but I say, let's all let ourselves feel a little guilty. We are a part of a system that exploits a lot of people. There should be a little inner turmoil there.

(We should also DEFINITELY do something about it, and guess what's not going to help us do something about it? Pretending the problem doesn't exist. Feel the icky feelings, and then look up at least one thing you can do to help with whatever thing makes you feel the ickiest.)

(If this really bums you out, maybe this hilarious and accurate pin will speak to you.)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Singalong! Breath of Heaven by Amy Grant

I decided that my singalongs leading up to Christmas (meaning last week and this week) are all going to be Amy Grant! Here is another fave, and a much better Mary-related song than Mary Did You Know. It even shares a mysteriousness in its musicality.

BREATH OF HEAVEN

by Amy Grant

I have traveled many moonless nights

Cold and weary with a babe inside

And I wonder what I've done

Holy father you have come

And chosen me now to carry your son

I am waiting in a silent prayer

I am frightened by the load I bear

In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone?

Be with me now

Be with me now

Breath of heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holiness

For you are holy

Breath of heaven

Do you wonder as you watch my face

If a wiser one should have had my place

But I offer all I am

For the mercy of your plan

Help me be strong

Help me be

Help me

Breath of heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holiness

For you are holy

Breath of heaven

Hold me together

Be forever near me

Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven

Lighten my darkness

Pour over me your holiness

For you are holy

Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven

Breath of heaven

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Can we use terms and conditions to make the world a better place?

I had an interesting conversation last night.

I was at my partner's work Christmas party, and one of his coworkers started talking about the power of consumers -- that we could be leveraging our numbers and power to make corporations change by attaching terms and conditions to our purchases, similar to the terms these massive corporations make us agree to all the time. If they break those terms and conditions, then they get punished somehow. Maybe they have to give back our money. Maybe they get audited. Maybe their CEO goes on a (GASP!) unpaid leave.

Now, I am a minor social activist-type, so this conversation should have been my jam, but I am also pretty cynical about change ever happening. Basically, I fight back or boycott once in a while because a) they definitely won't change if I do nothing and b) it makes me feel better in my own little conscience that, at the very least, I'm not participating in the badness.

Rarely, if ever, do I see protest efforts amount to real change. The reason? Humans.

Humans are weird and wonderful, but we are also weird and horrendous. We all think child slavery is the worst thing ever, until we have to buy a new phone. Then, all of a sudden, we just kind of forget it's happening and look for the best deal.

In some cases there isn't an alternative, anyways. If you want to buy new clothing from a company that doesn't use slave labour you basically have the choice of buying from Patagonia (and dressing in hiking gear 24/7), or a handful of boutique manufacturers who handmade their items from recycled goods. Basically, it's $30 per pair of underwear, or badness. And you can never be entirely sure that the $30 underwear is actually ethical, because how do you check on that?

Still, I can't stop thinking about this idea of attaching terms and conditions to my purchases.

What would they be?

Here's a starter list:

NO SLAVERY: Anyone working anywhere on the supply chain gets paid real, living wages. Yes, these are living wages relative to whatever country they are in, but they put all workers on a reasonably comfortable plane of existence.

SAFE WORK CONDITIONS: Nobody working anywhere on the supply chain, in the corporate office, or retail environments is forced to risk their physical health (to a reasonable degree) at work. I say "to a reasonable degree" because any turd-tosser can argue that sitting all day, standing all day, or other basic work-related activities are unhealthy. This isn't about that. It's about forcing people to work without proper ventilation, breaks, lighting, without necessary safety gear, etc.

ZERO HARASSMENT/ASSAULT/ABUSE: Nobody working anywhere for this company, including all the way down the supply chain, is acceptable fodder for harassment, assault, or abuse, whether it is sexual or otherwise. There need to be safe reporting structures and repercussion for the person perpetrating the harassment, not for the victim who reported it.

ENVIRONMENTAL RESPONSIBILITY: Everything must be done to reasonable levels of sustainability, given the product. In some cases, that might mean zero-waste offices, and in others where manufacturing currently requires the use of environmentally hazardous materials, this might mean offsetting activities and investment in research to improve manufacturing in the future.

MEANINGFUL LABOUR: Can I dictate that companies attach some kind of meaning to their work? Sounds like I'm being the summer camp director who gives a list of rules about not going into the woods after dark, and then tries to stop bumming everyone out by saying that the final rule is to "Have the BEST SUMMER EVER! WOO!" But it sure would be nice if people could feel like their work had meaning besides lining some fat cat's pockets.

What else? Should we mandate Casual Fridays? Half days when it rains? Wifi for everyone? Therapy kittens? We can probably put it in there. After all...

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Learning! Roundup: Holding babies, supporting and centring people of colour, life-saving bananas, and more!

Photo by Laura Lee Moreau

Holding Babies

We all know that babies need to be held, and new research says that whether or not babies are held can actually impact their genes.

Supporting and Centring People of Colour

This list of seven ways to support and centre people of colour is fantastic! I especially appreciate the second point on finding your own points of oppression in your life, and this note: "White folks, your identities of oppression are a window to, not a mirror of, the oppression people of colour experience."

It's such a natural human phenomenon to want to say "ME TOO!" when someone expresses something we feel we have a toehold on, but it's so unhelpful when we're talking about oppression. Using my experiences as a window, instead, lets me say (to myself), "As a woman with curly hair I have experienced strangers grabbing and playing with my hair and how annoying that is - I can only imagine how much worse that feels if it that experience is constant and your hair is such a highly policed thing."

Life-Saving Bananas

Scientists have created bananas that are orange in colour and rich in vitamin A that could save the lives of thousands of children every year.

Congenital Aphantasia

It took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I really struggle to have visuals in my mind. Where other people seem to be able to clearly imagine something and look at it as if it's real, I can sort of conjure something like a two-dimensional photograph. Turns out, I have congenital aphantasia! Of course, this means I find some of the explanations in this article on what it's like to be "blind in the mind" kind of offensive (I am very introspective and descriptive and HAVE an imagination, thankyouverymuch, it just doesn't deal in pictures), but it's still interesting to read about!

Love (at first sight) is a Lie

The first paper to attempt to study the phenomenon of love at first sight has concluded not only that it's usually simply lust, but that it's also usually one-sided.

Fraternal Birth Order Effect

I remember learning in psych in university that a family with many boys had an increased chance that the youngest male sibling would be gay - the fraternal birth order effect. Now they are closer to understanding why, with evidence that some women build up antibodies against a protein on the Y chromosome with each male son they have and that women who had gay sons with older brothers had the highest level of these antibodies.

Of course, correlation does not mean causation!

Nature Sounds

Listening to the sounds of nature (running water, birds, wind in trees) is gaining more and more documentation as something that relaxes and rejuvenates us. To the point where, if you play an ambiguous, fuzzy sound for someone and tell them it's running water, they will be more relaxed than if you tell them it's just white noise.

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Fixing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

I have long despised the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside". Sure, the melody is lovely and the apparently cute back-and-forth can seem like the fodder for an adorable duet. But, just like the episode of Arrested Development where Michael and Maeby suddenly realize halfway in that "Afternoon Delight" isn't a duet suited to an uncle/niece karaoke performance, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" quickly shows us its dark underpinnings. These days, most people know it to be a weird, coercive song about a man trying to stop a woman from safely leaving.

If you still love the tune and it makes you sad to not be able to listen to it, fear not! I have recently come across TWO versions that, at least to a degree, fix it!

The first fix: She & Him

In this version, they gender swap the roles. While I in NO WAY advocate for some kind of reverse harassment where women can coerce men because "hahaha, women aren't scary!", I believe that in this case the swap is ultimately beneficial. Mostly because it serves as a commentary on the whole dynamic.

It's not a perfect fix, but if you like the fun of a duet, it'll do for now.

The second fix: Scott Bradley's Post-Modern Jukebox

They have eliminated the male voice all together! The song is completely transformed! Instead of being about a man pushing a woman to stay while she offers a multitude of reasons over why she should go, it actually feels like a song about a woman who wants to stay but feels like she should leave and is wrestling with her own indecision. (Which is what people always claim the song is actually about, and maybe it felt that way back in the day, but not times have a-changed.)

Or you could just leave it all behind!

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This Week in Church: Engrained prayers and reading the Bible

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

This week in church we talked about engrained prayers.

When people are dying (or, I would venture, in situations of illness or sudden danger), we revert to the prayers that are most deeply engrained in our souls. It's when we suddenly feel the need to call out for help or comfort that we find out what's buried deep down in there: who or what do we pray to, and what words do we use?

I am sifting through memories of times I've been in need and what my reactions have been. I think I'm a pretty generic emergency pray-er, letting a little "help!" out of my heart into the heavens.

This week in church we talked about reading the Bible.

One of the big things I noted was the encouragement to ask ourselves, "what does this say to me?" instead of, "how can I pass this on?"

Maybe it's not up to us to give other people revelations. Maybe sometimes we need to hang onto them. Maybe everyone is on their own journey and we don't know what their journey is and they are learning things in their own time. Maybe I am realizing as I type this just how badly I need to remember this notion and stop trying to tell other people how they should be living their lives and focus on mine instead. (But I will keep doing it on this blog!)

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Inspiration! Roundup: Mother/daughter writing, escalator art, doubt vs. growth, the myth of balance, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Doesn't this place just look fun? Probably because it's clearly for children. Places for children are always fun.
Photo by Cel Lisboa.

Mother and Daughter

I really love this essay about raising a teenage daughter that has been annotated by the teenage daughter. Can we have more of giving people the chance to be a part of conversations that are about them?

Escalation

Chris Fox's installation art, taking old wooden escalators and turning them into sculptures, is pretty amazing.

A post shared by Chris Fox (@foxprojects) on Dec 3, 2017 at 8:20pm PST

Doubt vs. Clarity vs. Growth

“Doubt increases with inaction.
Clarity reveals itself in momentum.
Growth comes from progress.
For all these reasons, BEGIN.”
– Brandon Burchard (via Swiss Miss)

I never thought about this, but doubt and inaction certainly go hand in hand.

Redefining Balance

Despite the very real joy I feel about Christmas, it is also a very stressful time. I appreciated this article on how to manage stress when balance feels like a myth. I especially like the reminder that "balance" as a concept is a but unattainable and maybe we should redefine it. Here, she focuses on priorities instead of balance. I love it!

Chibird Animations

I fell in love with animator chibird's art! It's so whimsical and encouraging! For example:

Vancouver Pride

For the past couple of years, Vancouver Pride has been in controversy. Ever since Black Lives Matter landed on the scene and pointed out that police brutality towards the most vulnerable members of the queer community is still a real and present issue, there have been deep divisions in the communities of those invested in Pride on what is the best course of action. Now Vancouver Pride issued a statement on their process and decision to refuse to allow uniformed police officers in the parade. I am inspired by the long and hard work they did to consult, research, and be truly honest with themselves about who they serve.

Could they have acted faster and come to this decision sooner? Yes. Could things have been handled differently? Certainly. Are they acting with transparency and integrity now? I think they are and I think all of us who are concerned about inclusion and breaking barriers should read this letter.

Magical Greenhouse of Love

I want to live in artist Adelina Lirius' greenhouse dinner party forever.

A post shared by Adelina Lirius - Illustration (@adelinaillustration) on Dec 14, 2017 at 3:23am PST

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Book Club: Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire

Basic Impression: Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire is a beautiful, little tale for people who feel different and need some hope.

I say that, and I think it's true. However, I loved it and while I feel different, I know that everyone is weird in their own way and don't feel particularly in need of hope. I just enjoyed this magical little story about the young people who go through mystical doorways into new dimensions, and then when they are forced back "home", feel out of place and miserable. How on earth do you cope after you found your Narnia?

I keep having to stop myself from using the word "perfect" to describe it. It's not perfect. I don't think any book is perfect. That's not how books work. It's just a lovely little package of story that leaves you feeling sweet and sad and satisfied and full of longing and like there might be magic in the world. This is an ideal blend of feelings to find yourself with at the end of a book.

Also, it's quite possible this was written, in part, to teach young people to be more accepting about things like gender expression and sexuality. It's a bit of a pantheon of acceptance, which is great, even if it does feel a tad tacked-on at times. There! I found a flaw. Sort of.

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Fixing "Mary Did You Know?"

Photo by elizaraxi.

The song Mary Did You Know? used to be one of my favourite Christmas songs, mostly because of the dramatic mystery it evokes. It was such an exciting shift from the obvious joy of every other song! I would imagine being the star of some dance/physical theatre performance as Mary, making her way through representations of Jesus' life with awe and wonder and lots of smoke effects. I was going to be the best Mary.

It is also a super mansplainy disaster of a song that doesn't take into account that Mary actually, obviously, DID know a lot of things. So let's look at how Mary, the new mom, might answer these questions while she tries to get little baby Jesus to latch on:

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day walk on water?

          The angel didn't give me a lot of specifics. Currently, I don't know if my baby boy will ever get enough milk. What is this all about?

Mary did you know that your baby boy will save our sons and daughters?

          Yes, that is the whole point of me having him.

Did you know that your baby boy has come to make you new?

          You know what would really make me feel new? A shower. Or whatever the equivalent of a shower is for my time right now. Bathing in a stream?

This child that you've delivered, will soon deliver you

          Again, that was literally the whole point in him being born. Although if he could have delivered me from the labour, that would have been neat.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will give sight to a blind man?

          I haven't really thought about the specifics. Metaphorically, yes. I knew.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will calm a storm with his hand?

          Again, you're getting very specific. I don't even know if he'll have any brothers or sisters yet. I know he's the saviour, isn't that enough? (That sounds cool though.)

Did you know that your baby boy has walked where angels trod?

          I mean, not literally. It's not like this little body was walking around with angels. But sure, yes, on some plain, in some realm of existence, this guy was hanging with angels. I know.

And when you kiss your little baby, you have kissed the face of God

          YES! When an angel tells you that you are going to have a child planted in your body by God, you kind of put 2 and 2 together. It's neat, right? I just kissed God's face!

Mary did you know, Mary did you know, Mary did you know

          That is not even a question. Can you pass me that blanket?

The blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dead will live again

          That's great, I feel pretty dead right now.

The lame will leap, the dumb will speak, the praises of the lamb

          The lamb? What lamb? This is a baby.

Mary did you know that your baby boy is Lord of all creation?

          How many times do I have to say yes, I understood what the angel said to me. I get it.

Mary did you know that your baby boy will one day rule the nations?

          That is the whole idea.

Did you know that your baby boy is heaven's perfect Lamb?

          The lamb thing again. Lamb implies some kind of slaughter. I know he's the saviour and I am choosing not to acknowledge the potential dangers involved in that. Why would you even suggest to a new mother that her baby will be sacrificed, even through imagery? Lambs get eaten or sacrificed, I'm not an idiot.

This sleeping child you're holding is the great I am

          If you're just going to ask the very same question in different ways, I don't have time for you.

Mary did you know, Mary did you know, Mary did you know

          *Decidedly ignores the persistent man questioning her and goes back to focusing on feeding the baby.*

Here's how to fix the song: every time it says "Mary did you know..." change it to "Hey Mary it's so cool..." Done!

But, I mean, it's still awesome and just LISTEN to the Pentatonix version and try not to fall into a dramatic whirlwind of mystery:

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Cute! Roundup: The tininess of baby animals, furry baby Jesus, and more!

You'll just have to trust me that Gertie is looking at me adoringly in this picture.

OTHER CUTENESS:

Sometimes I forget how tiny kittens are. They are smaller than a hairbrush!

Could I get a little help?

Baby Jesus looks furrier -- and grumpier -- than usual.

Bunny and kitty cuddles.

Hide and seek!

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Singalong! Emmanuel by Amy Grant

Apologies if you're really not into songs about Jesus - the epicness of this has given it a key to my heart since I was but a child. And the lyrics are so easy! 18 words, over and over again. 17 if you only count "of" once. It is also a key song on my Christmas playlist, even though it's not really about Christmas.

EMMANUEL

by Amy Grant

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

Wonderful, counselor

Lord of life, lord of all

He's the prince of peace, mighty god, holy one

Emmanuel, Emmanuel

DID I EVER TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME I MET AMY GRANT???? She is my best friend. (Also, Michael W. Smith was there too, and my parents. BUT ME AND AMY!!!!)

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Spotify just peered into my teenage soul and I can't get over it!

Image by Leroy Patterson on Giphy

Backstory:

When I was 16, I discovered the band Save Ferris. They were in that sweet ska/rock crossover space right when ska/rock was still a thing. They sang silly songs about spam and how much it sucked to be a teenager. WIN!

The last song on their album It Means Everything was called "Everything I Want to Be" and it was the song of my soul. It carried me on wings like an angel through the Land of Hopes and Dreams and wrapped my heart in a saxophone-infused rainbow. It was my aspirational song of optimistic futures that would never materialize, but I didn't know that yet.

It was everything everybody has ever meant when they refer to a song as their jam. (Which I originally thought referred to the kind of jam you eat, as in "this thing is as delicious to my heart as jam is to my mouth," because jam is such a delicious thing, why wouldn't you turn it into a descriptor of other things you love?)

Other Facts:

1) This particular song was NOT a single nor was it famous at all. It was the last song on the track and I may be the only person who knew all the words. (Okay, they had more fans than that, but let me feel special. It's what the song is about.)

2) I have maybe listened to this album one or two times on Spotify since I became a Spotify-listening person, and I don't think I have ever singled this song out in particular.

3) Spotify has a new-ish feature called Your Time Capsule with a collection of songs to make you all nostalgic about your past. It's generally pretty easy pickings: mine is full of rock and pop from the late 90's. I'm a 33 year old female, so they know that I sang longingly along with Six Pence None the Richer's Kiss Me like a zillion times. Done.

4) I am not getting paid by Spotify to talk about them this much. I wish I was.

Exciting Event:

THEY PUT "EVERYTHING I WANT TO BE" ON MY TIME CAPSULE PLAYLIST!

I was alone in the office when this happened and wanted to jump and scream and sing along but there was no one to be excited with me. Then my coworker came in, but he wanted to talk about work and I just wanted to sing as loud as I could in his face. AWKWARD.

Seriously, though, have internet algorithms gotten so good that they can see into your history pre-social media? Can they somehow sense that, even though I only listened to that album a couple of times on the internet, I did so with such joyful abandon that it was extra special to me?

Do they know that I am an adult person who was once a teenager full of dreams and that this song is about dreams and also that I liked ska and so I probably liked this?

I am not mad. I am not creeped out. I am just impressed. And grateful. So grateful.

Give it a listen:

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Learning! Roundup: The real danger of hate speech, leadership signalling, raising a feminist son, and more!

Photo by Jason Rosewell.

The Real Danger of Hate Speech

New research out of Poland shows that hate speech really does have a negative effect: the more people hear it, the more desensitized they become to it AND the more it subtly shapes their prejudices. So... yeah, it's really bad.

Leadership Signalling

A study looked at the body language of project leaders so that the rest of us can copy them and sneak our way to the top.

How to Raise a Feminist Son

Are you raising a little human? Are they male? Do you want them to consider women to be equal to them? Here are some tips on how to get there.

Protecting Black Girls

This is focused on America, but what do the rest of us want to bet our countries could use this help as well? There is a perception trap when it comes to black girls: they are seen as more mature than their white counterparts and considered sexually mature as young as 5. This leads to a host of prejudice, as you can imagine. The moral of the story is that black girls need to be protected from everyone else's insane perception bias!

What's a Coma Like?

Do you know anyone who's been in a coma? I don't! Here is a fascinating conversation with a woman who was in an induced coma. She discusses the way her priorities changed after and some of the dreams she had during.

Re-evoloution

The latin name for the common lizard is Zootoca vivipara, literally meaning "live birth". Most lizards do give birth to their babies, but some re-evolved to lay eggs. Crazy!

Anti-Vaxxer Values

People who are hesitant to get vaccines are probably higher in values of purity and liberty than the rest of us. This makes a world of sense given the whole online wellness-o-sphere's emphasis on both of those things, and means that if you are going to argue with an anti-vaxxer, you should base your statements on these values.

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This Week in Church: Reconciliation

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

This week in church we talked about reconciliation.

Reconciliation is complicated. When we extend the table (whatever our metaphorical table may be) to others in an attempt at inclusion reconciliation there are some immediate pitfalls. If we perceive ourselves as hosts in the situation, then a power dynamic is immediately created.

Instead of being hosts who have power, we can still see ourselves as fellow guests. Who or what are we all serving? (God? Hope? Forgiveness? A future unity? Reconciliation itself?)

Instead of trying to control the situation and get a particular response from the person with whom we want to reconcile, we could start with confession without an expected response and open space for true healing.

Question: do the ways I try to make people feel welcome actually make them feel controlled?

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Burnout Test

Photo by Carl Cheng.

Are you burned out?

I have no idea how scientific this burnout test is, but the questions remind me a lot of the questionnaire I had to answer when I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year. So... it's at least a little bit legit.

During that time my counsellor talked to me about burnout - turns out it's a much bigger deal than needing to take a mental health day, or even week, to recover from some stress. Burnout completely disrupts your life. She discussed the PTSD-like symptoms for true burnout diagnoses where people jump every time the phone rings and need to take months off work and frequent counselling to get out of this place of fear and tension.

So let's all avoid it!

There are a lot of websites with advice on how to avoid burnout, but here's what my counsellor and I did:

We identified the obvious things in my life that were causing stress: boards, work situations, even certain people.

We thought of some ways to protect or mitigate those things. Sometimes that involved straight-up leaving, other times some of those healthy things called boundaries.

She painstakingly walked me through the process of setting priorities and putting up boundaries because I had no idea how to do it.

Then I had to start following through. Then and now, I try to be very intentional about where I say yes, so that I say a lot more nos. I schedule in down time that is non-negotiable (it can move to different days, but it can't be deleted). I prioritize the people and activities that feed my soul. I try really hard to accept the situations that I can't control without freaking out over them.

Super hard. Super important! I was able to go off my antidepressants last week because of all that effort.

Take the test, be real with yourself! Are you burning out?

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Inspiration! Roundup: Soft skills, murmuration, like a boss, Toni Hamel's art, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Don't these woods just look MAGICAL?
You could definitely run into a woodsman with magic beans in here. Just don't let him cut out your heart.
Photo by Trevor Cole.

Soft Skills Inventory

I want to take Seth Godin's soft skills inventory. Some of these questions dig pretty deep.

The Art of Flying

I have often found clouds of birds flying around to be hypnotic. Now I've learned that this is called a murmuration and it is captured beautifully in this video!


Taking Action

In case you needed another story of a regular person standing up to injustice and receiving a monument of support in return:

Email Like a Boss

I read this article about how to send emails (literally) like a boss, and went "AH-HA!" This is literally what bosses do. I can't count the number of times I have received incredibly brief, to the point replies from people in charge that respond to the most important aspects of my ramble-a-thon without getting bogged down in the other details.

Toni Hamel Art

I am pretty into these childlike pieces of art by Toni Hamel.

A post shared by Toni Hamel (@tonihamel_artist) on Sep 15, 2017 at 12:30pm PDT

Happy and Empty

“When I walk, I have an empty, happy brain and I see things.”
– Maira Kalman

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What's the deal with Mad Max?

(This post is not about the Mad Max movies. It is about Stranger Things. It contains a couple of minor SPOILERS so back off if you hate knowing anything about a show.)

A post shared by Sadie Sink (@sadiesink_) on Aug 26, 2017 at 5:15pm PDT

I FINALLY finished watching Stranger Things 2. (This is what happens when a show comes out in the middle of your partner's two-month TV fast and you are trying to be supportive instead of just watching everything on your own.)

Because I came to this one a bit late, there were already a plethora of articles out there analyzing the series. I didn't read them (spoilers!) but saw a lot of blurbs out there about Nancy and how she kicks so much butt and is a feminist hero because she can use a shot gun and "has sex with whoever she wants", a statement that might be more meaningful if it didn't happen once with one guy who she's clearly been into for ages, but whatever.

So YAY! SO MUCH FEMALE EMPOWERMENT!

Except... can we talk about Max for a minute?

Max, aka Maxine, aka Mad Max, is the new character who takes Eleven's place (temporarily) as the girl in the group. Max is awesome. I love Max. Here's my issue with Max:

1) She is the "cool girl."

It feels distinctly like they couldn't let a girl into the group unless she had crazy superpowers like Eleven, or is super "cool". She skateboards and plays video games better than the boys, gives her brother the finger, and isn't feminine in any classic sense except that she's really pretty under those boxy t-shirts. I wouldn't be surprised if season 3 featured a scene where she eats a ton of steak and makes fun of girls who eat salads.

She is definitely more of a tomboy than a classic "cool girl", but I seriously wonder if these boys could be friends with or respect a person who has any classically feminine traits. How fast would they have turned their backs on her if she had applied lip gloss even once?

2) MORE IMPORTANTLY: Why does everyone have to be so mean to her???

She cannot catch a break. First Mike is a total jerk to her, for understandable but overblown reasons. Then Mike convinces all of them to exclude her, but still keep her hanging on at the periphery. Then Dustin turns from being super doting to a mansplainy jerk as soon as it's obvious she's not interested in him romantically.

Then, due only to the fact that they must band together and fight a bunch of demigorgen dogs (they call them demidogs, but that's wrong, they are doggygorgens), she seems more-or-less integrated into the group, until Eleven shows up and won't give her the time of day because girls can't be friends and obviously she has to be jealous of her and re-assert her status as "the girl" in the group.

Will seems nice, but maybe that's because his mom keeps drugging him to keep the monster living inside him quiet.

Maybe I'm reading into things. After all, the show creators clearly value her character SO MUCH that her billing on the IMDB page is below the two random cops who are in a couple of episodes and I could find ONE gif on the show's official Giphy channel that includes her: the scene where she dances with Lucas.

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What kind of person do you want to be?

Photo by Ahmed Rizkhaan.

Recently I was chatting with a close friend and they were describing traits in others that they wished they had: the intentional fostering of friendships, kindness, generosity.

I realized as we were talking that those aren't necessarily traits a person is born with. They are based in actions. They are habits more than anything else.

Want to be the kind of person who is intentional about maintaining friendships? Start doing things that are intentional about maintaining friendships. Rinse, repeat, and there you are. A person who maintains friendships.

If that sounds overwhelming and impossible, think about the things other people do in order to foster their relationships. They reach out, make plans, remember special events like birthdays, and share in trials and celebrations together, right? There's your list of actionable items.

You can start pretty small:

Pick one friendship you would like to be intentional about. Just one! Set a reminder on your phone at some interval (weekly? Monthly? What seems right to you?) to check and see if you have plans with that person and, if you don't, make them.

Next, think for a minute about important events in this person's life - birthdays, anniversaries (happy or sad ones). Make a note of those days on a calendar (one you look at), or set more reminders. That way you can send them little "happy birthday!" or "I'm thinking of you," messages on those days, even if you haven't seen other people post about it on Facebook.

When you're together, be open and honest with them about your life and ask them about theirs. Share and share alike.

Keep on going like this until it becomes a habit. A way of life. Now you are the kind of person who makes people feel welcome and fosters friendships.

The same process can apply to pretty much any trait: kindness, generosity, integrity, optimism, compassion, confidence, self-awareness. Sure, it would be great if these things all came naturally to all of us, but they don't. Instead we have to work on it by breaking them down into actions that, the more we repeat them, the more natural they will feel.

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Cute! Roundup: Cat and dog travel duo, distracted by cleaning, trying to howl, and more!

It is always my favourite thing when Gertie lounges under the Christmas tree!

OTHER CUTENESS:

This cat and dog travel duo are just the cutest. I think they could win The Amazing Race: Animal Edition!

Distracted by cleaning. Gertie does this all the time - she's trying to do something, and then suddenly stops to lick herself.

A puppet's first howl!

A kitten learns to drink. It's so hard to figure out!

Is that a dog or a piece of fluff?

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Singalong! Million Reasons by Lady Gaga

Guys, I love the new Lady Gaga. Joanne is such a good album! This song gives me all the feelings, every time.

MILLION REASONS

by Lady Gaga

You're giving me a million reasons to let you go

You're giving me a million reasons to quit the show

You're givin' me a million reasons

Give me a million reasons

Givin' me a million reasons

About a million reasons

If I had a highway, I would run for the hills

If you could find a dry way, I'd forever be still

But you're giving me a million reasons

Give me a million reasons

Givin' me a million reasons

About a million reasons

I bow down to pray

I try to make the worst seem better

Lord, show me the way

To cut through all his worn out leather

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away

But baby, I just need one good one to stay

Head stuck in a cycle, I look off and I stare

It's like that I've stopped breathing, but completely aware

'Cause you're giving me a million reasons

Give me a million reasons

Givin' me a million reasons

About a million reasons

And if you say something that you might even mean

It's hard to even fathom which parts I should believe

'Cause you're giving me a million reasons

Give me a million reasons

Givin' me a million reasons

About a million reasons

I bow down to pray

I try to make the worst seem better

Lord, show me the way

To cut through all his worn out leather

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away

But baby, I just need one good one to stay

Baby I'm bleedin', bleedin'

Stay

Can't you give me what I'm needin', needin'

Every heartbreak makes it hard to keep the faith

But baby, I just need one good one

Good one, good one, good one, good one, good one

When I bow down to pray

I try to make the worst seem better

Lord, show me the way

To cut through all his worn out leather

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away

But baby, I just need one good one, good one

Tell me that you'll be the good one, good one

Baby, I just need one good one to stay

Gif by Rock the Paper

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