It looks like the article is about millennials, but I've gotta say, it should be about gen z. Millennials may have "invented" memes or whatever, but gen z really bonded over them in a new and special way. Same with the whole wanting to die thing--they took our general comfort with dark humour and turned it up to 11, flirting on Tinder with murder-suicide pacts.
Listen, I'm not here for the culture war between millennials and gen z. Those kids are smart and intimidating as heck and credit where credit is due when it comes to the memes and the death wishes.
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You know when someone recommends the BEST BOOK EVER to you and you read it and it's incredible and then it turns out the book is in a series and the series isn't complete yet and now you just have to... wait... for the author to finish it?
Full disclosure, I know her and I like to think of her as a friend but really we're more like friendly acquaintances and people who worked together once and now are on social media together, but I have a big ol' giant crush on her and her work and you should too!
She's got three singles out, this is the first one, and the rest are also incredible. She just released Hot Headed Egos and ooooooof.
Listen! Watch! Fall in love! And then waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait with me as she slowly releases more singles! (I think an EP is coming!!!)
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Like many Elder Millienials (yes, I reject the 'geriatric' ridiculousness), I was very late to the TikTok game, not understanding "the point" for a while.
Well, I'm here to tell you that SHOCKINGLY, thanks to TikTok, my self-esteem has never been higher.
First there was the "we're all 10s" trend, handily compiled for us here on youtube:
I have sent this video to most of my friends at this point and even written the quote on my whiteboard. And then, of course, I got all philosophical about what it means to always remember that I'm hot.
Here's what it means to me:
It means that I take care of myself. Not as a code for staying thin, but actually to just take care of myself. Hot people give themselves what they need when they need it.
... that I expect to be treated well by others.
... that I don't obsess over what someone else might be thinking of me.
... that I dress up when I want to dress up and don't when I don't and if I am having a low-effort day it doesn't reduce my hotness. (This reminds me of a line from a book I read when I was young about how the pretty girls can make weird faces with ease because their innate prettiness means that can make themselves temporarily ugly without fear and that resonated with me then as a self-perceived ugly duckling who was insecure about everything but could have a lot to say about embracing hotness.)
... that hotness is an attitude far more than anything physical and it is the attitude encapsulated by the all of the above.
Turns out that seeing people express completely over-the-top, uncomplicated, unnuanced self confidence is really inspiring. Let's all try it!!!
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I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo's album and... is it a problem if a teenage girl's processing of her breakup actually corresponds directly to my nearly-middle-aged experience of heartbreak???
I mean, have you HEARD the song Happier???
It's the perfect encapsulation of the, "we're broken up and I'm pretty enlightened about it and I do want you to be happy but also I am just petty enough that I want to be doing better than you" mood that I know I carry and at least it's me and Olivia even if no one else will admit it.
Driver's License makes me cry.
Good 4 U has just enough of what I guess are now old school pop punk vibes that my still-beating teen-angst-heart wants to mosh and scream along.
Anyways, I guess I'm still seventeen and I'm so happy this exists.
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Comedies when I was young that had a consistent trope: a guy approaches a girl to ask her
to dance or on a date, and instead of just saying no, she
slaps him or dumps water on his head or something semi-violent or
humiliating.
(It's worth noting that usually these guys were not being inappropriate or creepy, they simply gave an offer that was not reciprocated.)
Another memory:
It
was about a week after my sixteenth or seventeenth birthday. One of my
guy friends, who had come to my party, made a comment that he almost
bought me some kind of perfume as my birthday gift, but he didn't know
if I would like it and "didn't want to get punched."
Something current:
This post from one of my fave Instagram accounts, Not a Wolf:
What do all these situations have in common?
MEN!
Men used to almost exclusively write for TV and movies, and they featured women responding aggressively to unwanted male attention.
Then, a boy I knew watched those shows all growing up and got it into his head that if he gave me a gift I didn't like I might... PUNCH him???
Finally, a grown adult man today makes a joke that the reason you shouldn't comment on other people's bodies isn't because of human decency but because of the violence they may inflict on you in return.
I get that the first and last things here are JOKES and the whole point is that they are exaggerated FOR THE COMEDY.
The question still stands: how much of men's understanding of how women should behave do you think is filtered through the things a bunch of dudes in the 90s thought would be funny?
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Also, let's appreciate that anyone wearing tighter-fitting jeans prior to the late-90s is doing so with ZERO STRETCH in those jeans. They are pure denim with comfort to match.
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You know the song Hands Clean by Alanis Morisette?
A few years ago, I was in the gift shop at Grouse Mountain, a local ski hill, and this song was playing in the background. I was immediately struck by two things: the absolute absurdity of browsing tourist kitsch while a gentle song about statutory rape played in the background as well as deep and abiding rage.
I am pretty sure anyone else who lives in an even remotely marginalized identity (I say remotely to refer to myself because I'm a white woman which means, yes, the patriarchy gets me down and also my kind are the great supporters, and often directors, of a lot of white supremacist, colonial garbage) has experienced the rage I'm talking about: where you encounter evidence of injustice or oppression and it's like a hot flash of rage barely contained by the fact that you know there is nothing that can be done about it (at least in the moment).
Everything about this song's existence and reception is just the epitome of rape culture and I am getting The Rage again just thinking about it.
The lyrics!
Ooh, this could be messy but But you don't seem to mind and Ooh, don't go telling everybody And overlook this supposed crime We'll fast forward to a few years later And no one knows except the both of us And I have honored your request for silence And you've washed your hands clean of this
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Not the song, it's a very good song and so poignantly reflects her experience but I hate the whole bigger story and those last two lines, "I have honored your request for silence / and you've washed your hands clean of this."
I get it. I'm not blaming Alanis. She doesn't have to out her abuser if she doesn't want to. She said the song was about processing it a part of her past and I get that. But the fact. THE FACTS! The facts are ENRAGING. The bare fact that this man did have an abusive, CRIMINAL sexual relationship with a minor that he held power over and then never had to deal with it again. And sure, maybe he had some sleepless nights when this song came out, wondering if there would be repercussions but then he's fine. He's fine. HE'S FINE.
I hate it so much.
Then I looked up the Wikipedia page for the song and GUESS HOW PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT IT AT THE TIME?
Actually, scratch that, GUESS HOW WIKIPEDIA TALKS ABOUT IT NOW?
"The narrative voice of the song alternates; the verses are written from the presumed viewpoint of the other person in a relationship, an older man talking to a younger lover... Lyrically, "Hands Clean" explores a past relationship and how its effects linger." (Emphasis added.)
Here's one music writer, Jon Pareles describing the song as "an apparently matter-of-fact reminiscence of underage sex with a music-business mentor, an affair 'under rug swept.'"
Jam Music says, the song "tells the story of her attempts to come to grips with an intergenerational affair that started when she was as young as 14."
So everyone knew we were talking about a TEENAGER and a MUSIC EXECUTIVE (and I'm sure they must have been able to figure out WHO IT WAS couldn't they???) but they were using words like "lover" and "intergenerational affair" and "relationship" and even "underage sex" which all imply this is a legitimate, if somewhat uncomfortable, situation.
And now? Now we hum along to this gentle song about an unknown man grooming and assaulting a teenage girl while we browse overpriced stuffed bears dressed as Mounties while he is somewhere in the world doing whatever the heck he wants.
I repeat: I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate itI hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it (I love you Alanis and I support you I just hate this whole thing).
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Usually, my Twitter feed is a friendly and low-key place. I have a relatively small number of people who I interact with on there and they are wonderful, so it's usually pretty nice and non-stressful.
Then I had a tweet that, while it couldn't possibly have met any objective definition of going viral, felt viral to me and hoooooeeey, it was stressful AF.
I've heard people talk about how unpleasant it is to go viral in the past, and to be honest, I wasn't very charitable towards the idea. Like, oooooh noooo I have so many notifications, I am so popular I don't know what to do with it! Life is hard!
Here's what I wasn't considering: people. They can be the worst. Or, even when they're not being the worst, they can be pretty challenging. Especially when there is just enough context to get riled up and then chime in yourself.
The issue isn't just getting a lot of replies. It's that your replies get full of people mistaking your point and then arguing with each other over it. My tweet was about a political leader, and so I had people quote tweeting me and adding personal insults towards them, which made me really uncomfortable.
Seeing people twist or misunderstand your words, and do so with anger, is pretty dang un-fun. Especially when, like me, you are a person who can't help but engage, which only serves to prolong the unpleasantness.
Eventually, I learned my lesson. I figured out I could turn off notifications from that tweet forever, but dang if my life wasn't dominated by this one thing I said for two days.
I have zero idea what was going on with Paris Hilton since 2012, and if you ask me, this is the ideal way for her to return into my (and maybe your?) consciousness:
#TransRightsAreHumanRights 🏳️⚧️ Sending love to all my beautiful, brave friends in this amazing community. I stand with you. Hope that everyone can open their hearts & minds to work together so the world will become a safe place & everyone can be themselves. #TransDayOfVisibilitypic.twitter.com/GPn0iBSLHL
First of all, Paris is making a statement for trans rights! Hooray!
Second, she clearly decided to do so by becoming Trans Rights Barbie. She even cribbed the Barbie font. I want to know everything about that decision-making process. Were there meetings?
Third, obviously staged a photoshoot just for this. While I'm sure staging a photoshoot comes as naturally to her as eating breakfast, it's still impressive. Did they try other concepts or just the Barbie thing?
Fourth, as one of the comments said, the theme is, "human rights, but make it about ME."
Fifth, another comment: "Paris, whoever you're paying to do these images for you, you're not paying them enough. These photos are like a well written B movie."
Sixth, have a look at her profile pic where she's got glowing red eyes. What IS that??? Is this part of the B movie? Does Trans Rights Barbie start off as a super villain with laser eyes who then sees the error of their ways? Or maybe it's like the Bible story where Paul was blinded on the road to Damascus and then stopped trying to kill Christians? But with laser eyes? Or is she putting in a bid to get cast as a female Cyclops in the next X Men reboot?
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This quote is a very good explanation of why it actually matters to put disclaimers before streaming content with content that is now considered offensive.
Years ago I interviewed Brian Eno and he was amazing. But one thing he said about streaming music has always stayed with me: that his daughters listened to stuff from all sorts of eras without any idea of genre or timeline or context because it was all equally available to them. As he put it, everything was present. And I think that’s the big difference in the last decade or so of pop culture: we now accumulate stuff rather than replace it. Instead of The Office being a sitcom people remember from a decade ago, it’s a show they’re watching now. There’s new pop culture, but it has to elbow for room amongst humanity’s vast back catalogue. And because everything is present, everything is necessarily judged against the standards of the present. So where once you’d only see, for example, an episode of the Muppets if you knew what it was and sought it out, now it’s just something popular on Disney+ that anyone can stumble over and go “um, why is Johnny Cash flanked by Confederate flags? I didn’t know he was a white supremacist!” And, friends, THAT is why we’re getting disclaimers on shows or letting old children’s books go out of print: not because people are oversensitive or hysterical or stupid, but because society changes and pop culture used to keep pace with that, but now that everything remains accessible we interact with our cultural past differently. This is a monologue which I would once have delivered with verve and panache in a pub after many beers but is now being typed on a phone in my loungeroom at 10pm on a Friday night THANKS A BUNCH PARENTHOOD. -Andrew P Street
(Also, in case you're wondering, Andrew P Street seems to be an Australian music writer and Brian Eno is a British musician.)
As an aside, I also think it's hilarious that people are so concerned about people being "too sensitive" to need warnings for overtly racist content, but demand warnings before being shown human bodies or hearing certain words or even being exposed to "mature themes" where people talk about the fact that people sometimes die.
We have had content warnings for at least as long as I've been alive, we have simply added something to the pile of things that we should be warned about.
I have always maintained that the movie Mars Attacks! was delightful genius encapsulated on film and that it never got its due. Last night, I rewatched it (because I still have my old DVDs, y'all!) and I stand by my previous assessment.
First of all, if a bop was a term for a group of actors, this cast would be a bop. Annette Benning! Jim Brown! Martin Short! Jack Nicholson! SJP! All the rest of them!
Second, the writers clearly embraced their weird and did not miss a SINGLE opportunity for a joke. The whole thing is a series of absurdly hilarious punchlines. And the DETAIL! Each character's little world is so precise and yes, they are archetypes but they are parodied so perfectly it's irresistible. (The president and his wife eat their meals off TV TRAYS, for pete's sake!!! The fact that people STILL gather to watch the martians visit congress even after they got shot up in the desert!!!)
Third, while a movie made out of a card game is clearly just an excuse to bring a bunch of martians to earth and shoot stuff, they actually strung together a ludicrous-yet-semi-plausible storyline that has emotional weight and reality for each of the characters!
Fourth, there are little touches that I think are meant to really drive home the skewering of certain systemic issues in society. FOR EXAMPLE, when the martian goes to congress, it is made up of almost entirely actual old white men, most wearing grey suits. I saw one woman, and one dude who was a bit younger. THAT'S COMMENTARY, PEOPLE. (Although I will be the first to admit that the cast should have been more diverse as a whole and the first person the martians kill is a Black man which his NOT a trope we need to parody through replication.)
IT'S GENIUS. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY MORE PEOPLE DON'T LOVE IT.
Tragically, it's only available to rent, not stream, and I'm not loaning out my DVD (that's how I lost I Heart Huckabees, thankyouverymuch), but it is WORTH the $4.99 rental fee.
This is the first year in... I don't know how many years... that I had an actual, old school break over the holidays. Thanks to the pandemic, I genuinely just spent the last week hanging around and doing nothing and seeing no one.
Today is my first day of "back to normal" and it feels very weird. Being reintroduced to my alarm clock was not ideal. I am not sure whether my brain will work on schedule, but I guess we shall see. (I'm writing this as if I didn't spend the weekend working on a grant that's due today because of course a grant should be scheduled the first day after the holidays.)
Since I was writing a grant this weekend, I was obviously really focused on what was happening on Twitter, and OH WHAT A TIME FOR IT.
It was the latest "the internet is the weirdest schoolyard ever": an indie West Coast musician who makes print poetry books out of his own tweets and likes "shock-value" racism as "comedy" became famous for thinking he was being a good parent by refusing to help his daughter learn how to use a can opener for 6 hours and live-tweeting her attempts (also she wasn't allowed to eat until she did it). He is now Bean Dad, which is still trending, everyone hates him, and there are memes.
This one, using actual dialogue from the (obviously now deleted) tweet thread, made me laugh maniacally out loud to myself while sitting alone in a park. I still love it:
What are you doing New Year's Eve? I live alone, so I'll be... alone! In my apartment! What a glorious bummer but also perfectly fine turn of events.
I suspect we're all experiencing a pretty wild ride of moods as we exit 2020 and enter a new year (where not much has changed but maybe it will get better), so I've curated a collection of songs you can choose from to ring in the new year based on your emotional world.
If You're Kinda Bummed But Okay With It: The New Year by Death Cab for Cutie
The opening lines, "So this is the new year and I don't feel any different" made this my go-to New Year's Day song for years. I loved embracing the morose vibe of waking up a day that was supposed to mark a change and feeling the same. It seems pretty on point for this year, too.
"So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions"
If You're Seeking Blessings: Forever Young by Rod Stewart
This song is basically a New Year's blessing, no matter the version you choose. I chose the Rod Stewart cover, but this song has received so dang many covers that you could just put on a playlist of this song and go on a musical journey for an hour.
"May your hands always be busy,
May your feet always be swift,
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.
May your heart always be joyful,
May your song always be sung,
May you stay forever young,"
If You're Ready to Move On and Embrace Yourself: thank u, next by Ariana Grande
For obvious reasons.
"I've got so much love
Got so much patience
I've learned from the pain
I turned out amazing"
If You Need an Aggressive Dance Out: Raise Your Glass by Pink
It seems like this year humanity was the underdog (although we were also the villain, so... awkward). Sometimes the best thing you can do is throw back an entire glass of champagne in one go and have an aggressive dance party.
"So raise your glass if you are wrong,
In all the right ways,
All my underdogs"
If You Need a Complicated Dance Out: Dancing By Myself by Robyn
This is the perfect song if you're being safe on your own for the New Year and not really happy about it but also trying to embrace where you are now. It's the "I'm going to rip myself away from an Instagram feed full of people who are somehow not alone before it kills me" dance party.
"I'm just gonna dance all night
I'm all messed up, I'm so outta line
Stilettos on broken bottles
I'm spinning around in circles"
If You Need a Dance Out That's Pure of Heart: Dancing In the Moonlight by Toploader
This is for those of you feeling that Schitt's Creek Season 2 finale vibe. Whether you're "together, apart" with your loved ones or have a household to dance with, you know that around the world (or at least across your time zone), people are dancing in the moonlight. (The original is by King Harvest, which is even more pure of heart, if I do say so myself.)
"Dancing in the moonlight
Everybodys feeling warm and bright
Its such a fine and natural sight
Everybodys dancing in the moonlight"
If You Want to Lie on the Couch and Feel Things: Good Grief by Dessa
For me, this song says, "everything is terrible and I don't know how to make it better but also it seems like there is hope to make it better, we've just got to get there," which may be the perfect fit as you lie on the couch and feel your feelings.
"I want that good grief
The one that heals me
That leaves me clarified by fire
When I'm burned clean
Tempered by light and heat
Ah, by the dead of morning
I'll be better for it
And then fortified I'll rise
Bust the hydrant, let it spray champagne
Wings are broken but I feel no pain
It's real today, I know this feeling, let it rain"
If You're Coming Out Ready to Fight: Stronger by Britney Spears
This is the perfect, "heck yes, I survived and guess what? Now I wear black leather and heavy eyeliner which indicates bad assery" song.
"Stronger than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I, I'm stronger"
If You Are In a Very Chill Place: Three Little Birds by Bob Marley
Ready to ride the waves of life with your hands ready and your heart open?
"Don't worry, about a thing
'Cause every little thing, gonna be all right"
If You're Genuinely Feeling Great or Want to Embrace Denial: Happy by Pharrell Williams
Maybe you feel actual joy right now or maybe it feels good to feel good, even if you don't really feel good, you know? Either way, clap your hands with Pharrell.
"Here come bad news, talking this and that (Yeah!)
Well, give me all you got, don't hold it back (Yeah!)
Well, I should probably warn you I'll be just fine (Yeah!)
No offense to you
Don't waste your time"
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Usually, I get really excited about year-end roundups every December. I love lists! What's better than a season of LISTS???
This year seems a weird one for that, and I'm sure magazine editors spent the last month freaking out about how they would do year-in-review listicles without bumming everyone out, but there are already three that have come out.
Some of it's a real bummer, which is to be expected, but there are some funny, quirky little news stories that I had completely forgotten about (or not noticed). Like Dr. Phil's mansion that "looks like it was decorated by a teenage energy drink tycoon" and the deadline for which George R.R. Martin said he could be imprisoned if he hadn't finished his recent book passing, with the man still walking free.
This one features popular books with their titles adapted to become relevant to the year that's passed: Celeste Ng's Little Fires Everywhere is now Enormous Fires Everywhere, Gabriel Garcia Marquez' One Hundred Years of Solitude is One Hundred Beers in Solitude. It's a real hoot. I would probably buy a notebook set with these faux book covers.
Mr. Whitwall publishes a list every year of 52 things he learned that year. It's always got some delights and deeply interesting facts in it. Like the different ways emojis are perceived across cultures, the fact that the inventor of the pixel has always regretted making them square, and in 2017, researchers turned dragonflies into human-controlled drones.
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Ohhhhh hello. I was introduced to Infinity Song through this incredible cover of Fleetwood Mac's Dreams, and my oh my. They are STUNNING. Currently listening to their original song Far Away and floating in a sea of heart-eye emojis.
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I have been thinking about Cardi B. and Megan Thee Stallion way too much lately, and I am finally ready to throw my belated weigh-in on WAP into the mix.
So. Here's the deal: I am totally down with everyone doing whatever they want in terms of their sex and bodies and love lives.
At the same time, I often wonder how many overt displays of sexuality from women aren't ultimately reinforcing a patriarchal male gaze. After all, when we "own our sexuality," aren't we often performing exactly in the way men have dictated we do for their pleasure for ages?
To my eye, the performances don't generally seem to undermine or challenge the beauty standards or sexual stereotypes that have been foisted on us, but revel in them. If that's true, could it be more of a display on how successfully we have been brainwashed by the hetero-patriarchy than anything else?
Is it really freedom to joyously choose to do exactly what your oppressor wants?
I ponder these questions every time a new super-sexual feminist liberation anthem emerges in pop culture. Then I wonder if I'm just a prude (probably) or overthinking things (always)?
Okay, so those are the questions, that's the discomfort. (And note that I'm truly not telling any women to tone it down lest the patriarchy wins--again, do whatever the heck you want and I'll do what I want and apparently what I want is to sit around and mull over the patriarchy, which is probably another way that it wins.)
This time, I had a good ponderance on the other side of things:
What is liberation anyways? What does it actually mean to celebrate your sexuality? What is empowerment?
I'm sure many scholars have come up with many definitions, but what I have landed on is simply: it is anything that makes you feel liberated, powerful, or celebratory.
It's the opposite of how we measure discrimination and harassment, where intent is meaningless and the only thing that matters is impact. When it comes to hurting someone else, it doesn't actually matter what you meant, just how it was received.
Empowerment, though, is all inside you. Whatever makes you feel good about who you are and what you are capable of is empowering, no matter what other people think of it.
From this lens, it's totally irrelevant what male desire Ms. B. and Ms. Thee Stallion are or are not feeding into. It's also, to a degree, totally irrelevant whether or not it really is setting feminism back or not. From this lens, all that matters is that they feel good about it.
Here's another thing: a celebration of sexuality is always going to celebrate things that are sexually appealing--or at least, things that make the person feel appealing. A big part of what makes us feel good about our sexuality is feeling like we are in control of our desirability.
So it shouldn't be a surprise, then, living in this here hetero-patriarchy, that if a woman owns her sexuality, some element of it might appeal to men.
It's still a bit unnerving that you can have two women side-by-side, one doing something because it makes her feel great and the other because she feels coerced, and from the outside, you may not even be able to tell the difference. And that a man could be equally degrading both in his mind.
But maybe the real win is just forgetting that dude even exists at all.
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I am rewatching Seinfeld. Seinfeld! And it's great! In terms of being an entertaining show, it totally holds up.
It's also wild to watch because it is SUCH a throwback technology-wise while otherwise feeling pretty modern (even much of the fashion could get a pass today). The weirdest thing? How easily they just pick up the phone to make a call. Do they need to ask someone out? Has there been a misunderstanding? BAM! On the phone! Talking live! No hesitation! Dialling the numbers they know in their heads!
This is so... not how we live anymore. Can you imagine? If the show was on now, there would be a whole episode debating the implications of sending a message over text, WhatsApp, a Twitter DM, or Facebook Messenger.
Before I started watching it, I had a theory that it would also hold up in terms of content - that it wouldn't be very offensive, even by modern sensibilities, and that more recent shows would be worse.
I was sort of wrong and sort of right.
It definitely isn't as bad as a LOT of other shows, including some newer ones. HOWEVER, it sure as heck doesn't get the pass I thought it might.
Up until season six, here is what I have observed:
Homophobia:
Jerry and (especially) George avoid doing perfectly normal things that they perceive as slightly effeminate. It's usually played to make fun of them with scathing commentary from Elaine about how ridiculous they are being, but that doesn't mean they are always shown to be wrong.
The episode where George and Jerry are outed as a gay couple by a reporter, though? These days, I think the reporter outing them against their will (so she thinks) comes off worse than the two men being upset for being wrongly outed.
Fatphobia:
The fatphobia is garden-variety and mostly present in offhand comments or the fact that half the women Jerry dates refuse dessert to "stay slim." It's a true representation of how ingrained all that was into society at the time: nobody is mean-spirited, they just all deeply believe in the supreme importance of being thin.
First of all, can we just take a moment to admire the gorgeous cover to this book? It's eye-catching, the colours are stunning, and the closer you look, the more you see in it.
The Skin We're In: A Year of Black Resistance in Power is a non-fiction book by Desmond Cole that details racism and activism in Canada. Structured around the events of the year 2017, each chapter represents one month and tells the story of a major issue or event that happened that month, from the police beating of a Black gallery owner on New Year's Eve to the battle to get police officers out of Toronto schools.
The content may be tough, but in many ways, it is easy to read because Desmond Cole's writing is fantastic. He is smart, incisive, and knows how to tell a story that is information-heavy, yet captivating. He paints a stunning picture without bogging the narrative in descriptions.
For me, The Skin We're In took issues I have been vaguely uneasy about, such as Canada's immigration and deportation practices, or areas where I was sure Canada had racism problems but didn't really know the extent of it (like policing), and gave a wallop of information about their racist past, present, and (unless we change something) future.
Since Canada is so inundated with American news and culture, it's easy with issues like this to know more about the American problem than the Canadian one. This is the antidote.
It also provides a little glimpse into what it's like for him to live as a Black man in Canada. There are just enough drops of his own personal experience to see the toll it all takes on the simplest life experiences.
For example, the chapter "deep breath (may)." It is a little bit of respite near the middle where he describes his love for spring flowers and a joyful day in a botanical garden. Right in the middle, however, he and his friend encounter a sign: "This area patrolled by police." It gets just enough attention to know that it's a sore spot in the middle of a beautiful day. He makes it clear that he can't have a simple day of freedom and beauty, unmarred by threats of violence.
Some quotes:
“This idea that Canada's racial injustices are not as bad as they could be, this notion of Slavery Lite, of Racism Lite, of what my friend calls the "toy version of racism" is a very Canadian way of saying: remember what we could do to you if we wanted to. Passive-aggressive racism is central to Canada's national mythology and identity.”
"If we can't imagine a different outcome than the police's violence, that's on use. We have to imagine something less violent, less reactive and reckless. Daring to imagine kindness and fairness for Abdirahman [a man beaten to death by multiple officers while he lay on the ground] is a true revolutionary act in a country that offers no alternatives."
"Canadians who do recognize historical injustice seem to understand it in this way:
- Bad things happened.
- Bad things stopped happening and equality was achieved.
- The low social and political status held by Indigenous peoples is now wholly based on the choice to be corrupt, lazy, inefficient, and unsuited to the modern world."
"Canada says 'look how far we've come' without defining who 'we' is, how we've arrived where we are, and from where we came, and in what condition we've arrived."
I HIGHLY RECOMMEND this book! I also recommend you read it more slowly than I did. Do one chapter at a time, and let it sink in. I read straight through and now feel a strong need to go back, re-read, and absorb the information a little more deeply.
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One of my bestest besties (I refer to her as my soulmate and/or my everything) has a very fun blog called The Year of Keanu where she posts weekly life lessons based on Keanu's awesomeness.
In a recent(ish) post, Making Change Through Willful Ignorance, she describes a new tactic for making the world better: tell yourself things are already as they should be and react accordingly.
"What if we actively choose to ignore and disregard all the barriers that prevent us from seeing the change we want to see? What if we chose to say things like 'Black Lives Matter' and 'Defund the Police' in casual conversation, disregarding how uncomfortable it might make some people? What if we chose to forget the oppressor's feelings and just speak up about the world we want to see? What if we choose to forget our fears about the system and just continue doing our part to repeat the names and fight for the legacy of the people who lost their lives to it? What world would we be living in then?"
Obviously, doing this isn't enough to transform our racist, sexist, ableist, and otherwise prejudiced systems, but it's a fun tactic for those of us who find ourselves in more privileged circles. The more we talk about these things with a "we're all on the same page here" friendly casualness, the more those who disagree could feel like mayyyyyybe they are in the wrong wrong. Or at least, in the minority of perspectives.
Basically, it's treating prejudice views the way I treat flat-earthiness: as if anyone who is reasonable would know it's wrong and that society, as a whole, recognizes this.
Best-case scenario? A little friendly gaslighting happens for the bigots and they question themselves. Worst-case scenario? We've still made our views clear.
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