If You're Going to Destroy Something, Learn Its Name First

"Not only knowing the names but getting them right is a duty to other living things on this planet, I think. Certainly towards humans, at the very, very least. But I would even say more so to the inhabitants of forests. If you’re going to cut them all down, have the decency to know which animals you’re destroying their land—not just call them brown birds, or birds even. Know that there’s blue warblers there. Know that there’s cerulean warblers there. Know that there’s pine siskins there. Know there’s a bird called a titmouse there. Just have the decency to know what’s around you."
-Aimee Nezhukumatathil

Those of us who are colonists (aka: anyone living in North America who came here by choice as a result of colonialism) could really take this to heart.

If you're going to destroy anything, know what it is you're destroying. What specific species of animals or plants, what specific land, what specific cultural practices, what specific people. Name them. It's the least you can do.


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:

Getting super quick results on a COVID test so that I didn't have to sit around in isolation for very long and for the friends who were on the ready to deliver food and anything else I needed if I did have to stay in isolation! (And also that it was negative, babeeeee!)

Getting my first COVID vaccine!!!!!! For all the scientists and healthcare workers and other workers who dropped everything to make this happen and even for the governments who knew to prioritize this and that they made sure Indigenous communities got it before I did.

BC announced its restart plan and while aspects of it did freak me out a bit, it was really comforting to see a plan that is based on clear markers and science instead of a reckless rush to re-open.

My beloved soulmate bestie with whom I am as silly as can be and then super deep and we go on our anti-racist journey together and also she made a ridiculous Hamilton sign to celebrate me getting the vaccine.

The fact that I baked myself a cake!

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: I was going for a jog (I know! A JOG!) around the track in a nearby park and a bunch of dudes were standing around and then, all at once, started leaping into the air like frogs. (Okay what they were actually doing was an interval workout and the jumping squats started, but it legitimately looked like they just said, "Hey! Let's act like frogs!" and then started chaotically jumping around.)


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The Distinction is Very Important But How Do You Tell The Difference???

How do you tell the difference between a detour and a roadblock? (The metaphorical kind, not the actual ones on actual roads that are usually pretty clearly marked.)
 
As per this Instagram post, a detour is a challenge (or five) along the way that tell you it's going to be harder and take longer to get to your final destination. A roadblock, on the other hand, is a signal that you're never going to get there.

It's the difference between "this is still possible for you, it's just harder," and "it's not going to happen for you."
 
The post goes on to affirm that most of the time we think things are roadblocks when they are actually detours.

But it doesn't tell us HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE which is kind of a big part of the whole thing, right????

So, how do YOU tell the difference? How do you, as Dr. Eilers of Instagram recommends, "practice discernment between detours and roadblocks"?
 

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The Most Important Questions: What Jeans Were Being Worn the Year You Were Born?

I know what question has been burning in your heart for a while now: what did jeans look like the year I was born????

Elle Magazine has answered the question. It's really just a great excuse to click through vintage fashion photos.

Here's 1984:
 
Also, let's appreciate that anyone wearing tighter-fitting jeans prior to the late-90s is doing so with ZERO STRETCH in those jeans. They are pure denim with comfort to match.


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Questions For When You Don't Know What the Heck to Do

For when things feel off or bad and you don't really know why: Catherine Andrews, of the Sunday Soother, has a list of questions to help figure out what's going on.
 
Here are some of my faves:

  • Am I attempting to mind-read somebody else's intentions in this situation?
  • How could I give myself what I'm hoping this other person will give me?
  • What if what felt right to me, was right?
  • Is it true?
  • Do I want to keep thinking this thing? Why or why not?

You can see all the questions in her post here.


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Self-Awareness May Be Too Much Work Right Now But At Least We Have Global Self Hypnosis

As per yesterday's post, I'm currently in a place where I feel like most self-awareness and self-work is too much effort and just kind of exhausting. I'm still interested in it and have a host of saved articles and ideas to share on here, though.
 
So just know that while I'm going to keep sharing these things, I'm probably being a huge hypocrite and not doing them myself. 😊
 
One thing I AM doing, however, is loving the affirmations Instagram account Global Self Hypnosis. They post affirmation memes that are just unhinged and discordant enough that they really speak to my soul and, honestly, leave me feeling kind of affirmed. (They also have merch!)
 
A meme with the text "I am not living a crazy dream" over the image of a futuristic-looking city that is in the middle of the water.

A meme that says "I am overflowing with profit-making ideas" over a sort of glowing spider web in space with wings.

A meme that says "society moves forward, I do NOT have anxiety" with an aggressively cheerful picture of a unicorn in front of a sunset.


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Near Miss

I came across this gif and just really felt like it needed to be shared. Here you go.

An animated gif that appears to be from a very old black and white movie with a man standing in the middle of a road. A streetcar on rails zooms towards him and at the last minute, turns instead of hitting him.
Giphy


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Sometimes, Growth is Gross

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger than we were before."
- Alice Walker

This reminds me of chrysalis time and the fact that we think of cocooning as some cozy time of warmth, self-protection, and growth, but really it's messy, painful, and kinda gross.

I want to say that this is an encouragement to use those feelings (the anger, weepyness, agitation--let's use a different word than hysteria) as a signal and start looking at your life to see if this is an instance of growth and where you might be going, but honestly? I'm feeling way more laissez-faire about this kind of thing these days.
 
If you want to analyze your feelings and your growth, by all means. But if you are feeling chaotic and confused and don't feel like digging into it, chances are the growth will still happen. I don't know that we need to be aware of the process for it to work. After all, it got you to the point of feeling like crap, didn't it? Maybe you can just experience it and see what happens on the other side.


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:

Having dinner with my mom and dad outside in a park! It was so lovely, even though we got takeout Indian food and forgot to order rice with the dishes and also didn't have plates so we ate off the lids to the takeout containers.

Giving blood for the first time ever (I guess I'm grateful to myself for that?) and the technician doing my needle was very friendly and nice to talk to but also there was a finance bro across the room from me also donating he was very interesting to watch.

A board member at my work who is going ABOVE AND BEYOND to help us develop a strategic plan and it is killer.

The fact that it was supposed to rain this week but it was mostly sunny instead.

To Nicki Minaj for Super Bass which I spent an evening learning the lyrics to so I can do a really good job lipsyncing along to it.

As always, calls and visits with friends because friends are everything I could possibly want.

This week's delight:
 
Teen punk band The Linda Lindas who wrote the song Racist Sexist Boy and I was agape with joy watching it!


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Halfway Houses

When new owners purchased half of a duplex in Ruhrgebiet, Germany, disparate renovations and paint jobs began to emerge. Wolfgang Fröhling has photographed these two-faced houses and they are kind of incredible to look at!

A photo of a house straight-on. The house was renovated on one side by one person and the other by someone else. The house appears to have been designed to be mostly brick with an accent square in the middle of the face of the house. One half of that square is white, the other half is painted yellow with some brick accents built onto it.

A photo of a one-level house. Half of it is painted a light blue, the other half is almost entirely covered in leafy vines, with just a bit of dark grey stucco showing on top.

(Via Colossal)


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When Your Big Mood is No Mood at All

I shall spend my moods
Like a rose discards leaves
And die without moods. 
-Lewis Grandison Alexander
Is it just me, or is this the moodiest little haiku you've ever read?


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Your Life is Your Own (But Also You Owe Us)

An animated gif illustration of a carrot walking in place with a white background. It's silly but also feels confident.
DBS Bank Ltd.
(I honestly can't tell you why I am using this gif for this post, it just feels right.)

 


"Your life is your own."

Just reading this sentence makes me feel a kind of restful confidence that's really quite lovely.

It comes from a very long quote (poem? Sometimes it's hard to tell) that ends with a push to claim this life of yours so that it doesn't pass you by, your glorious potential lost to the world.

On one hand, yes. Of course, yes. Very much yes. Absolutely yes. When we just let life happen for us or follow someone else's plan for our lives we wind up missing out on so much.

On the other hand, do these inspirational urgings ever feel like pressure to anyone else? I love love love the simple statement "your life is your own" because it clears away a lot of clutter in my brain. It rejects all the pressure I may put on myself to achieve or earn or make sure I look good to other people and reminds me that I don't belong to anyone but myself.

The next part, though? The "claim it so it doesn't pass you by"? I am no longer relaxed. Now my life that I thought was mine, that I could live as I wished, is running away on a conveyor belt and I'm Lucy stuffing chocolates in my mouth because I can't keep up.

Suddenly, there's an assignment. I have to achieve something or offer something to the world and it feels like there's an implied standard of good enough. I have potential that must be realized.

The mental clutter returns. What's the potential? What if I pick the wrong thing? Am I aiming high enough? What if I die before I achieve it? What if, even worse, I give up and my potential dries up?
 
It takes the somewhat-revolutionary reminder that my life is mine and mine alone and places it within a framework of achievement. Of noticeable glory. Of a debt owed to the universe. It's capitalism, but for dreams.

Maybe you find the reminder to achieve your potential as calming and confidence-boosting as I find the reminder that my life is my own. In that case, take it.

Personally, I'm going to just hold onto the part where my life is my own and leave it at that.


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Please Hold For the Ambulance

The other evening I was walking with a friend through Gastown, one of the neighbourhoods in Vancouver where the wealthy and the unhoused overlap considerably.

We turned a corner and encountered a person, passed out, appearing to have fully collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk. They didn't respond when we called out to them, so we decided to call an ambulance.

As I was on hold (ON HOLD!) to talk to an ambulance dispatcher, a plainclothes police officer arrived. They began a first aid assessment and called it in. Within seconds, a marked police car showed up with two more uniformed officers and an ambulance was on the way.

Once my friend and I left the scene, our conversation circled around policing for a while. Our experience demonstrated how valuable it is to have someone who is physically present in a neighbourhood with the training to step in and save a life.
 
Right now, those people are police, and if they hadn't been there who knows how much longer I would have sat on hold with the ambulance? But what if we had people trained in life-saving and perhaps community services out and about, ready to happen upon someone in need who weren't also looking for crime? What if we invested in health and safety in the same way we invest in finding criminals?

On a related note, Mennonite Church USA has put together a curriculum for police abolition that is available for free. (One of the main tenets of being a Mennonite is pacifism, so it is actually a direct extension of the church's purposes.)

The curriculum is very American-focused, so if you are American, definitely get in there. Canada is different, but also kind of the same. I would love to see similar resources looking at it from our context.


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Delighted By You

 
"I cannot underscore enough how important it is to have people in your life who are delighted by you. Yes, delighted. It actually is foundational to the self esteem of a child to have their adults be delighted by their existence. You are worthy of having your full essence enjoyed."


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:
 
A lot! But I didn't write it down most days because of my aforementioned total lack of structure and thus discipline for most of the past week. But I did write down a little bit.
 
My mom, for giving me her tickets to an art exhibit so I could go experience something beautiful! And my friend who came with me even though it basically started at our bedtime.
 
 A fellow strata member who showed up to support some meetings even though she didn't strictly have to.
 
The fact that I was able to have time off at all!


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A Technical Announcement for 27 of You

Helllllooooo to the 27 people reading this in your email because you subscribe via FeedBurner to get emails about new posts!

First of all, THANK YOU. I put that email subscription link on my blog and truly didn't know if anyone would click it. You did! What a delight!

Second, FeedBurner is being discontinued. I KNOW. I am supposed to be able to download all your email addresses and transfer you over to some other email delivery service, but it's not working. So this is your heads up that this service may just up and disappear. Not until July, but still!

For now, your best bet is to sign up for my newsletter. It goes out every other week with links to highlights from the blog and a little bit of bonus content. At the very least, it'll be a biweekly reminder to come scroll through the blog!


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We Get it, You Think You're Better Than the Rest of Us

You know the whole "we can disagree and still be friends" advocacy movement? Usually, it takes the form of someone making the extreme "gotcha" power statement of posting a photo of someone else holding a sign that says, "we can disagree and still be friends," letting everyone know that they are better than all those liberal snowflake simps who cut people off at the slightest offence.
 
 

Well I came across one of those recently and decided against my better judgment to engage with it. AND I'M SO GLAD I DID! Not because I changed someone's mind (although they did say I gave them something to think about!) but because it really helped me clarify my own thinking.

First of all, even the people who post these things understand that there are exceptions.
 
On this feed, people comment with exceptions like thinking pedophilia is okay or believing absurd lies from white supremacist, Trumpian movements.
 
The original poster's response? "I'm sure you wouldn't be friends with them in the first place," which represents a nice delusion that people lay out their worst views before you get to know them or never develop terrible views after you've become close and also, okay, so there is a limit to what you can disagree about while being friends. Great.

Second, as delightful a human as I am, not being friends with me doesn't mean I've dehumanized someone or ruined their life or even cut them out. It just means we aren't friends. I am still friendly and respectful towards people who aren't my friends.
 
Aren't you?

Third, it was suggested to me that we gain nothing ("NOTHING") by not being friends with these people, which made me realize that we actually do. There is a real cost to maintaining a friendship with someone who has dehumanizing views.
 
The cost may be your own personal pain, like when I found out a friend of mine not only held traditional gender ideals but thought I was a lesser person than him for being of the female persuasion, or it may be by proxy to other people we love, who are being hurt by them. (You try telling someone who has been actively hurt by someone's bigoted views that you still want to be friends with them and not feel like a huge jerk and also realize that you are actually choosing one friendship over another because now your friend who has been hurt also trusts you less.)

Fourth! It was also suggested to me that those of us who do think there are limits to friendship (which, as per point one, is all of us, but still...) think we are doing something noble by cutting people out (ignoring the fact that ending a friendship is usually a very painful task that is not taken lightly by most).
 
Honestly, I'm pretty sure the people with illusions of nobility are the ones who think they are better than everyone else for maintaining a friendship with someone they disagree with and posting photos advertising that fact without recognizing the nuance or pain that underlies a severed friendship.


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Welcome Back?

Oh, well hello there. Fancy seeing you here. It's been a while hasn't it?

I've been off work for the past week and LET ME TELL YOU, it has never been more clear to me that I need structure in my life.
 
I had some visions of things I would get done during my time off that maybe required a few hours of focused effort each day. NOPE. Definitely spent a huge chunk of it watching TikToks and lying on my couch. I am also still very tired.

But today I'm back to work which is, of course, a bit of a bummer but also probably better for me and everyone that I have some structure and expectations in my life again.

Hello world, I'm back.


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
These past two weeks (because I missed last week!) I have been grateful for:
 
A week off work where I have been able to relax, see friends (in an outside, distanced way, don't fret!) and get further in the book I'm reading. Also to completely spurn responsibility and learn that I do need some structure to my days otherwise I am a bit lost.
 
My friend who prepared a really loved set of reflection questions to a meeting.
 
Friends who keep showing interest in my random life explorations, asking for updates and wanting to know more about my hopes and dreams and challenges and stuff!

A sunny day where I had the courage to go do my stretches outside in a park (the one where other people are always working out so I fit in) and it felt so good to be outside in the sun, stretching.

Getting together with a friend in the park to celebrate her birthday.

Always grateful for my Dungeons & Dragons game and friends.

More and more of my friends are getting vaccinated!

Getting out of a Zoom meeting relatively quickly when it was with a person who generally prolongs Zoom calls indefinitely.

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: A piece of art by David Shrigley with a drawing of a dragon that says, "Do not slay the dragon. I am in love with the dragon."

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Four Questions For Sanity in Saving the World

This is a list of questions created by Mariame Kaba that was introduced to me via Ann Friedman. It's the perfect list of things to ask yourself when there is a new round of injustice that leaves you feeling both helpless and angry:
 
1. What resources exist so I can better educate myself?
2. Who's already doing work around this injustice?
3. Do I have the capacity to offer concrete support & help to them?
4. How can I be constructive?

I love that this response not helps alleviate the helpless anxiety (look! There are people working on this already!) but also helps drive contributions (what level of support or help can you offer that is constructive?) without being unrealistic (you don't have to give up your whole life to fix every single cause).

What more could we want to build a better society?


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You Can Stop Blaming Your Smart Phone, We Ruined Our Lives All On Our Own

(I get way too much satisfaction out of defending social media and screen time than could possibly be healthy. But here we are.)

I just listened to the latest episode of Science Vs, a wonderful podcast that takes controversial topics and, you know, looks at the science around them.

This one was about screen time. You know, the thing that is ruining kids' attention spans, hurting our eyes, turning brains into mush, and making us depressed and lonely. It's the BIG BAD of our current existence. (Much like the written word, telephones, and refrigerators were in their day.)

Except... it's not. Yes, the studies finding potential relationships between screen time and depression (etc) get all the clickbaity headlines, but the research is actually mixed and mostly shows minimal effect, easily mitigated by other things factors like sleep and nutrition and loving parental involvement. (I won't give all the evidence here, that's what the podcast is for and there's a transcript with citations if you want it.)

This is what I'm here to say:
 
MAYBE instead of blaming something like a SMART PHONE for the fact that we are INCREASINGLY MISERABLE in our collective experience of humanity, we might want to LOOK AROUND and realize that we are living in a SELF-GENERATED DYSTOPIA thanks to late-stage capitalism, COLONIALISM, impending environmental destruction, and a WHITE SUPREMACIST PATRIARCHY that pits us all against each other, creates a rigid ladder and calls it success but only lets a few people climb it, and is literally burning the future of our species.

If anything's going to suck the life out of your heart with a disposable twisty straw that somehow also injects lead into your bones, it's that. We don't need a device to ruin our lives, no matter how addictive its creators designed it to be. We were doing that just fine all on our own, THANK YOU.


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You're No Temple

A photo of a forest. There is warm sunshine coming through the trees and a wide dirt path ahead of you. It is very welcoming.
Lukasz Szmigiel

“Listen to me, your body is not a temple. Temples can be destroyed and desecrated. Your body is a forest—thick canopies of maple trees and sweet scented wildflowers sprouting in the underwood. You will grow back, over and over, no matter how badly you are devastated.” ― Beau Taplin


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Anti-Racist Street Art Database

Love this: an interactive database of anti-racist art from Minnesota and around the world. Inspired by the art that was popping up across the city to remember George Floyd, it now encompasses a variety of anti-racist works from around the world, ranging from quick tags to murals or community pieces.
 


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A Dose of Feminist Rage for Your Monday Morning

You know the song Hands Clean by Alanis Morisette?
 

A few years ago, I was in the gift shop at Grouse Mountain, a local ski hill, and this song was playing in the background. I was immediately struck by two things: the absolute absurdity of browsing tourist kitsch while a gentle song about statutory rape played in the background as well as deep and abiding rage.
 
I am pretty sure anyone else who lives in an even remotely marginalized identity (I say remotely to refer to myself because I'm a white woman which means, yes, the patriarchy gets me down and also my kind are the great supporters, and often directors, of a lot of white supremacist, colonial garbage) has experienced the rage I'm talking about: where you encounter evidence of injustice or oppression and it's like a hot flash of rage barely contained by the fact that you know there is nothing that can be done about it (at least in the moment).
 
Everything about this song's existence and reception is just the epitome of rape culture and I am getting The Rage again just thinking about it.
 
The lyrics!
 
Ooh, this could be messy but
But you don't seem to mind and
Ooh, don't go telling everybody
And overlook this supposed crime
We'll fast forward to a few years later
And no one knows except the both of us
And I have honored your request for silence
And you've washed your hands clean of this
 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
 
Not the song, it's a very good song and so poignantly reflects her experience but I hate the whole bigger story and those last two lines, "I have honored your request for silence / and you've washed your hands clean of this."
 
I get it. I'm not blaming Alanis. She doesn't have to out her abuser if she doesn't want to. She said the song was about processing it a part of her past and I get that. But the fact. THE FACTS! The facts are ENRAGING. The bare fact that this man did have an abusive, CRIMINAL sexual relationship with a minor that he held power over and then never had to deal with it again. And sure, maybe he had some sleepless nights when this song came out, wondering if there would be repercussions but then he's fine. He's fine. HE'S FINE.

I hate it so much.

Then I looked up the Wikipedia page for the song and GUESS HOW PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT IT AT THE TIME?

Actually, scratch that, GUESS HOW WIKIPEDIA TALKS ABOUT IT NOW?

"The narrative voice of the song alternates; the verses are written from the presumed viewpoint of the other person in a relationship, an older man talking to a younger lover... Lyrically, "Hands Clean" explores a past relationship and how its effects linger." (Emphasis added.)

Here's one music writer, Jon Pareles describing the song as "an apparently matter-of-fact reminiscence of underage sex with a music-business mentor, an affair 'under rug swept.'"

Jam Music says, the song "tells the story of her attempts to come to grips with an intergenerational affair that started when she was as young as 14."

So everyone knew we were talking about a TEENAGER and a MUSIC EXECUTIVE (and I'm sure they must have been able to figure out WHO IT WAS couldn't they???) but they were using words like "lover" and "intergenerational affair" and "relationship" and even "underage sex" which all imply this is a legitimate, if somewhat uncomfortable, situation.

And now? Now we hum along to this gentle song about an unknown man grooming and assaulting a teenage girl while we browse overpriced stuffed bears dressed as Mounties while he is somewhere in the world doing whatever the heck he wants.

I repeat: I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate itI hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it (I love you Alanis and I support you I just hate this whole thing).
 

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