Get Mad

A friend of mine posted this on Instagram recently and I thought, "Oh no, please don't."

A gradiated purple and pink background with text on it that says "I don't get mad anymore. I just accept it for what it is and move on." It is from a website called Simple Reminders.

I get the appeal. Saying, "it is what it is" and then letting it go and moving on is the ultimate in non-attachment right? You'd be a zen little duckling, just letting everything run off your back and living your life.

I guess the problem is that some of the things that make me the most angry are social justice issues and inequalities, and people accepting those for what they are and moving on is exactly what's made all these problems in the first place.

So no, I'm going to keep getting mad.


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Vaccine Hospitalization

If you're looking at rates of hospitalization among vaccinated people and getting scared, here's something that might help!


The short answer: a tiny percentage of vaccinated people still wind up in hospital, but it ends up being a larger proportion of hospitalized people due to the fact that so many people are vaccinated, so there's a way larger pool of people to draw on!


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The Billionaire Space Race

Thinking about this today.


A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face and arms began to swell.
(and Whitey's on the moon)

I can't pay no doctor bill.
(but Whitey's on the moon)
Ten years from now I'll be payin' still.
(while Whitey's on the moon)

The man jus' upped my rent las' night.
('cause Whitey's on the moon)
No hot water, no toilets, no lights.
(but Whitey's on the moon)

I wonder why he's uppi' me?
('cause Whitey's on the moon?)
I was already payin' 'im fifty a week.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Taxes takin' my whole damn check,
Junkies makin' me a nervous wreck,
The price of food is goin' up,
An' as if all that shit wasn't enough

A rat done bit my sister Nell.
(with Whitey on the moon)
Her face an' arm began to swell.
(but Whitey's on the moon)

Was all that money I made las' year
(for Whitey on the moon?)
How come there ain't no money here?
(Hm! Whitey's on the moon)
Y'know I jus' 'bout had my fill
(of Whitey on the moon)
I think I'll sen' these doctor bills,
Airmail special
(to Whitey on the moon)


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Can't Be Trusted

You know when people say, "I can't be trusted around X," where X is probably some kind of delicious food but may be another vice?
 
And then, because we can't be trusted with it, we develop a complex set of rules in our lives to control our access to it? We hide it, freeze it in a block of ice, never keep it in the house, make ourselves to exercise before we consume it, go on cleanses or fasts or abstain for a month at a time, tell ourselves what days or what times we are allowed to have it?

On one hand, great. If that feels good for you, great.
 
On the other hand, I have a "what if?"
 
What if... we learned to trust ourselves?
 
Not that we learn to trust that our will is iron-clad and we will never overdo it when it comes to X because we now inherently follow these rules, but to actually be in tune with our bodies, with our wants and needs, with compassion, and so trust ourselves to do whatever is actually right for us.
 
It's harder at the outset. It's more complicated. But living life where you can trust yourself seems a lot more enjoyable than a life with a bunch of arbitrary rules to keep ourselves in line.


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To Every Thing There is a Season

About a year ago I announced some ch-ch-ch-changes. At the time all I knew was that I was unshackling myself from the strict guidelines I had given myself for writing daily on this blog and some of the structure and format I'd put into place here and I didn't know what that would look like.

Well, what it did look like was that I still wrote posts every day and probably poured more out into this blog than I had before.

Now, all of a sudden, I feel kinda done?
 
Not done in a forever way, but definitely in a "my life actually doesn't revolve around this blog" way.

If you like having my musings in your life and want to find out when I've written something, you can sign up from my newsletter or follow me on ye old socials (receptionist insta, personal insta, twitter, tiktok, or facebook but I never post there).
 
So... see you around? Or when I suddenly feel like my life is empty and I come crawling back here?


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The Coldest Summer of the Rest of Our Lives

A meme composite image using Bart and Homer Simpson. The first panel shows Bart, looking disturbed, with a picture of a map of the US west coast burning and the text "this is the hottest summer of my life." The next panel is Homer, leaning in like he's correcting Bart and saying, "This is the coldest summer of the rest of your life!"

A couple weeks ago, I was telling some friends how we have to enjoy this time in our lives: COVID is (theoretically) getting under control and climate change is only just ramping up. Pending other disasters (still totally likely!), we'll have some decently-enjoyable years in here before things get really bad again.
 
Honestly, my friends seemed a little perturbed by this. They called me cynical.
 
Buuuuuut after a heatwave in BC that resulted in over 700 sudden deaths (where the only way to make life bearable for most is buy an AC and contribute to making global temperatures worse, and will result in even more forest fires than usual, one of which already fully destroyed a town in a day) PLUS the ocean literally being on fire and whatever ecological effects come of that, I'm thinking I was wrong.
 
I think I was too optimistic about how "sweet" this "sweet spot" between COVID and Climate Change: Full Throttle will be.
 
I guess time will tell: as the planet becomes less and less habitable in the coming years, what will we look back on as the lull? Or will we be too busy hating our past selves for not fighting this harder? (Or, most appropriately, hating the ultra-wealthy oil barons who fully knew about climate change in the 70s and hid it?)
 

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Everyday Chores

It's hot and it's taken all my energy to just do my dang job these past few days.
 
Here's some cool art by Tatsuya Tanaka.
 
An art photograph of a miniature figurine of a woman in an old fashioned maid uniform with an ancient iron, she is ironing ripple chips and making them flat. There is a stack of ripple chips on one side of her and non-rippled on the other side.

I prefer my chips un-ironed, if given a choice, but whatever you've got is fine.


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Giving Beauty the Middle Finger

Photographer Waleed Shah is obviously the coolest and has a book of photographs called Rock Your Ugly: A Middle Finger to Toxic Beauty Standards. He had people pose featuring their biggest insecurities about themselves and the result is powerful and gorgeous and you could probably write a dissertation about it.

A black and white photograph of a woman standing sideways and holding her shirt up to reveal a scar on her ribs.

A black and white photo of a woman sitting on the bathroom floor next to her toilet. She is facing away from the camera, holding a small mirror that reflects her eyes back to the camera so she is looking at us.



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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:
 
Hanging out on the beach with a friend for her birthday and still got home in time for my usual bedtime even though it was a beach allllllll the way on the other side of town.

The person who hit my balcony with their moving truck because they were super proactive to deal with it right away and so I didn't have to fight anyone to take responsibility.

My neighbourhood bike shop for quickly repairing my bike's snapped cable even though they were so busy.

The somewhat last-minute opportunity to go backpacking with a friend in the MIDDLE OF THE WEEK and sitting by a river, drinking rose, and even being able to make a little campfire.

Gertie coming in for cuddles every time I lie down.
 
Seeing my dad for Father's Day! He had a surgery recently and it was good to see that he's recovering.

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: Tried a new thing and the results were DREAMY!


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Forget and Forgive

Forgiving is hard, right? Some people seem to be able to very easily get past being hurt but it's a big ol' thing for me to turn off the part of my brain that relives the pain over and over again.

Well heeeeeerrrrrrrrre comes SCIENCE with some answers!!!

Apparently there are two kinds of forgiveness: decisional and emotional. Like the names say, in the former you decide to forgive someone and in the latter you try to release the negative emotions related to the perpetrator of your pain and even usher in positive ones.

Here's the cool part: people who opt for emotional forgiveness tend to forget the details of how they were harmed. They'll still remember the gist of it, but those details that might otherwise recycle themselves over and over in your brain get fuzzy around the edges.

And guess what makes it easier to forgive someone??? Yeah, FORGETTING all those dang details.

So really, the saying should be, "forget and forgive."

(If you're wondering how the heck to even do emotional forgiveness, in the study the participants were instructed “wish that the offender experiences something positive or healing and to focus their thoughts and feelings on empathy," so apparently that's it.)


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Tweet Like It's Free

Last week, Palestinians were using the hashtag "tweet like it's free" (#غرد_كأنها_حرة), tweeting about what they would be doing if they weren't living under Israeli oppression.

Their tweets imagined a world where they could freely go for a run and then get fresh lemonade in the square, drive directly between Beirut and Haifa along the coast, and see a shooting star without ducking for cover.

It reminded me of when they ask women what they would do if men disappeared from the world for one day, and mainly it's things like wearing whatever they wanted and going for a walk at night.

Obvious statement of the day: it's just not right.


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In Your Own Image

"You can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do."
-Anne Lammott

I weirdly feel like this applies to the people who don't even believe in God, although it's probably a little less relevant to their day-to-day lives.


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Visions of Motherhood

Honestly, in my little corner of the internet, it's nothing but nuance about the experience of motherhood. And yet, apparently, a lot of people still hold a monolithic view of what this means to be a human who had a baby. Photography collective The Luupe's series of 100 visions of motherhood is on.

A portrait of pregnant woman. She is wearing a large pink sombrero with a veil on it, she is wearing a pink Nike sports bra and pink pants and is holding her exposed, pregnant belly. It seems like a take on Beyonce's pregnancy photo.

A photo of a woman looking out a curtain from behind. The curtain takes up the whole wall and is 70's style paisley. She is standing with her back to us in a red dress, holding a baby, and looking through a crack in the curtain.


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Life is Actually Simple

"Life can just be lived.
You don't have to:
prove anyone wrong....
make anyone proud....
change the world....
leave a lasting legacy....
You can simply show up, find the joy, be good to you and be good to others, learn from the pain, hold yourself accountable, relish the wonder of it and ride this thing out."

First of all, does her list of things to "simply" do actually sound like a lot? She's like those foodies who lie and say, this is a really simple recipe, and then proceed to use 22 ingredients over the course of two and a half hours.

So I would argue that her overall point is right but you don't even have to do all those things, or at least not all the time.

Yes, life is better for us and everyone else when we are learning and growing, holding ourselves accountable to our mistakes and experiencing wonder. But these are not requirements either. You can spend an inordinate amount of time staring at screens and ultimately, that's fine too.
 
The point is that your life is your own. Do with it is you will.

(Also, a hilarious and tragic confession: when I was transcribing this quote, my brain read "find the joy" as "find a job" and I was just like, yup, that's on the list of things to do in life and didn't question it and I replaced JOY with a JOB that is capitalism right there, folks.)

A photo of a man reclined in a chair reading a phone book.
Gabriele Stravinskaite


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:
 
My dad's surgeon for (it seems) doing a good job and that his surgery went really well and he is already feeling better!
 
Seeing my mom for breakfast and all the restaurants with easy outside patios that we can sit on.

My bank for cancelling a payment I made by accident to the WRONG CARD and would have been a whole big thing.

Having lunch with a really dear friend who I don't see very often and who truly embraces the notion of not needing to put in effort when we see each other.

The weather for becoming suddenly summer (please someone write a "Suddenly Seymour" parody about summer magically appearing) when it was supposed to still be a little rainy and now it's noooooot!!!

Being able to celebrate a good friend's birthday, even if it was at 9am on a Sunday (more due to the existence of children than COVID).

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: Waking up on mornings where I have actually gone to bed early enough to get enough sleep and wowwwwwwwwww it's so much better.


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Follow These Plates

Marie-Claude Marquis' decorative plates are generally wonderful and this one, in specific, is glorious.

A photo of a decorative plate with a picture of Jesus in the middle and the text says "follow me, I'll follow back." It's the white, Catholic Jesus and the plate is gilded with gold.

And honestly, I can see the youth group I went to back in the day getting really into this sentiment.
 
Expressing the opposite sentiment to my youth group is this next plate, another fave:
 
A photo of a china plate with the text "whatever floats your boat" on it. The plate is white with a delicate floral pattern dotted around the edges and also in the centre of the plate.


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Memes and Death Wishes

This made me laugh.

A photo of a page of a newspaper with the pull quote "my generation is going to be known for memes and wanting to die."
for you

It looks like the article is about millennials, but I've gotta say, it should be about gen z. Millennials may have "invented" memes or whatever, but gen z really bonded over them in a new and special way. Same with the whole wanting to die thing--they took our general comfort with dark humour and turned it up to 11, flirting on Tinder with murder-suicide pacts.

Listen, I'm not here for the culture war between millennials and gen z. Those kids are smart and intimidating as heck and credit where credit is due when it comes to the memes and the death wishes.


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What's Really Going to Happen to the Candles???

Honestly, this is a very good question:


Are you? Is this ever coming back? According to my friend in LA, handshaking is already back despite everyone's big talk about never shaking hands again so I'm already feeling a little betrayed by all our big talk of letting these traditions go.
 
You know what, I'll take the handshakes if my friends and I are able to taste each others' cocktails again. Not sure about the candles though. My friends and I did a birthday this past weekend where we each held a candle and sang happy birthday and then blew it out ourselves. It was kind of like a fun version of a candlelight vigil.


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Here Are Some of My Collages

I've been making collages! Here are some of my faves:

Collage art. The main feature is a flying saucer with a beam of light pulling up into it a cupcake, globe, front of a pig, and a candy heart that says "be true" on it. There are a few more flying saucers around. The background is abstract, a mottled pink and yellow.

A piece of collage art. The background is a photo of a lake with glass-still water and some trees on the far side. In the foreground is a woman with a helmet over her head holding a doughnut in one hand and a black rabbit on her shoulder. In the background is an astronaut horizontal over the water, like they will smack into it with their whole front. There are three doughnuts above them, attached with strings like maybe they are balloons that will hold the astronaut up.

Collage art. The background is a flat shot of water, like a lake or ocean. The top of a giant salt shaker emerges into the image from the top left, and coloured lines come out of it as if it's salting the water with colour. There is a woman floating in the middle of the water. On the bottom right is a cat, just its eyes and ears poking out of the water.

Collage art. It's a still lake with some slight waves on the water and trees on the other side. In the centre of the lake stands an astronaut on the water, with some flowers behind its back. Emerging from the water is a green hand holding a crystal ball and next to that is a very small cactus. The text on the picture says "it is real"


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That's Some Kind of Poem

I'd never heard of poet John Girono, but now I'm sad I never got to hear him read one of his poems. (I guess I probably could look something up on YouTube). The man's work reads like a deadpan, angry rant and I've never encountered poetry like that.
 
I don’t
know
what
you’ve been
doing
today
I don’t know what
you’ve been doing today,
but today
was one
of the worst
days
of my life
but today was one
of the worst days of my life
but today was one of the worst days of my life,
and you’re walking
down 2nd Avenue
coming to
St. Mark’s Place 
-Excerpt from Eating the Sky by John Giorno

Like... COME ON!!!!


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:

My coworker putting my biking clothes in the dryer (with hers) because we both got caught in the rain on the way into work and air drying wasn't going to cut it.

Happy hour in the park with a friend who I deeply enjoy but don't see very often, and also the fact that she remembered we had set the date with the intention specifically of discussing some mental health practices and not just to hang out, so I got both!

The car co-op I am a member of because I needed to buy more flour (in the giant bag) and it is so much easier than transporting it on my bike.

A meeting of the new book club I've joined that is freaking awesome and full of some very smart and cool ladies.

The fact that camping is allowed right now, so I got to spend some quality time with my friends and their kiddos. (Also, do you realize we are entering a world where we won't have to think about what we are "allowed" to do socially and just... have to make decisions???? Weird.)

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: I awkwardly put out there that I miss my old nickname and maybe people could call me that again and I instantly got a reply from a woman I work with being like, "Done!" and it felt so good!


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Warm Your Dang Heart

Someone sent me this meme and it warmed my cold, dark heart like the sun.

A meme photo that has two red raccoons on a path besie some grass. They are facing each other both standing on their hind legs with their forepaws up in the air. One is labelled "me" and the other is labelled "also me cheering for myself because everything will be fine." It's so sweet!

Apparently these sweet lil' red raccoons are residents of Oregon Zoo.


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Sometimes, You Can Do Things Just Because You Like Them

A friendly reminder:
 
Just because you are good at something doesn't mean you have to do it.
 
Just because you enjoy doing something doesn't mean you have to get good at it.
 
In neither case do you have any obligation to try to make money off of it.

Sometimes, you get to just do the things you like to do because you like them.

An animated gif illustration showing a vintage record player with a record spinning and musical notes coming out of it. The record player is one of those suitcase ones, it's green and the inside is lined with a flowery pattern. The background to the whole thing is pink.




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Weakness of the Flesh

I was hypnotized by this short dance film featuring Emma Rosenzweig-Bock dancing in a sea of... herself. Weakness of the Flesh.

An animated gif video clip showing multiple versions of a woman standing and lying down on the concrete (like she's been cloned and turned into various mannequins or frozen in space). There is a real version of her that is lying on the ground, spins on her stomach and raises her head up in an incredible backbend. She is wearing a long black skirt and a black long-sleeved crop top.


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Fear Will Find a Way

Sometimes it feels like fear is its own entity all together. A persistent climbing ivy that, once planted, takes over your entire house. You can prune back one tendril only to find another has pushed up through the floorboards.

A friend of mine is afraid of the vaccine.

As far as I know, this isn't typical of her. She's definitely on the hippie-dippie spiritual side of things (one of the reasons we have connected over the years) but I wouldn't peg her as anti-vax, anti-science, or anti-medicine.
 
But then fear happened.

I don't know who first planted it, but someone gave her a reason to be afraid. Now each time a fear is addressed, getting pruned back with thoughtful, evidence-based reason leaving her assured that the vaccine is safe, another justification for the fear slips in and it grows right back.

I'm told it is next to impossible to get ivy out at the root and it's at least as hard with fear. Unless you can reject the central premise all together, all it takes is one little "what if" and bam! You're surrounded by scary vines. And that central premise? Chances are it's connected to something deeply important to you (that's how it gets in there in the first place), so good luck there.

This isn't a very hopeful post, is it? Okay, here's the hope: it is possible to overcome your fear. I have done it a couple of times. Once, it took the near-dissolution of my faith. Another time it took me realizing that I could prioritize a different value over the one that was driving the fear. In both cases, it was a big shift in how I saw myself and/or the world, but it happened.
 
There is another way, of course. As my heart-niece reminded me this weekend: sometimes you have to act from your brave self instead of your scared self and just do the thing that scares you.
 
Or I guess you could just become the Poison Ivy of fear and make it do your bidding (if you figure out how to do that LET ME KNOW).

An animated gif clip from a cartoon. It shows Poison Ivy, a character from Batman, emerging from the ocean, with ivy growing beneath her to lift her up out of the water. She is controlling the ivy.
DC


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Why Aren't You Listening to Amanda Sum RIGHT NOW???

You know when someone recommends the BEST BOOK EVER to you and you read it and it's incredible and then it turns out the book is in a series and the series isn't complete yet and now you just have to... wait... for the author to finish it?
 
Get ready for the musical version: AMANDA SUM.
 
Full disclosure, I know her and I like to think of her as a friend but really we're more like friendly acquaintances and people who worked together once and now are on social media together, but I have a big ol' giant crush on her and her work and you should too!


She's got three singles out, this is the first one, and the rest are also incredible. She just released Hot Headed Egos and ooooooof.
 

Listen! Watch! Fall in love! And then waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaait with me as she slowly releases more singles! (I think an EP is coming!!!)


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The Will

This is called The Will by Seamless and I am in love with it.

An art photograph of a woman ascending up in a blue sky. She is very small, the photo is mostly blue sky with some clouds at the bottom, and she is wearing an orange dress and holding a pink balloon. Her body is positioned upright, as if she is standing.




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Wild Idea: YOU Are the One Who Knows What Feels Good for You

It's another Instagram take down!!!!
 
A friend of mine shared this post from an account called natural.medicine.index recently, and I'm here to nitpick about it:
 
A cream coloured square with two lists presented in columns next to each other. The first is energy givers and includes sunlight, dance, whole foods, hydration, sleep, nature, music, movement, resting, fresh air, decluttering, future planning. The other says energy takers and says inconsistent sleep, focusing on the past, junk food, negativity, mess and clutter, overworking, no physical movement, screens, dehydration, stress, alcohol, fear, resentment

The truth is, I resonate with most of the items on these lists. HOWEVER. What gives energy and what takes it away FOR YOU is kind of YOUR CALL. It's not up to anyone else, certainly not some random company trying to increase its Instagram clout.

There's also something called context and balance.

For example, a consistent sleep pattern might generally be important to maintaining (or generating) energy, but following it so rigidly I don't do other things that bring me joy? Not so much. Overdoing alcohol will definitely sap energy, but sometimes having a drink sets me free. A good decluttering spree leaves me feeling energized, but constantly keeping on top of clutter feels like a drain.

Also, I hate the "whole food" / "junk food" judgment so much.


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Do Not Forget That You're Hot

Like many Elder Millienials (yes, I reject the 'geriatric' ridiculousness), I was very late to the TikTok game, not understanding "the point" for a while.

Well, I'm here to tell you that SHOCKINGLY, thanks to TikTok, my self-esteem has never been higher.

First there was the "we're all 10s" trend, handily compiled for us here on youtube: 


Then there's this video, helping elevate my feelings about my tallness:
 

FINALLY, there's this affirming shower witch:
 
 
I have sent this video to most of my friends at this point and even written the quote on my whiteboard. And then, of course, I got all philosophical about what it means to always remember that I'm hot.
 
Here's what it means to me:

It means that I take care of myself. Not as a code for staying thin, but actually to just take care of myself. Hot people give themselves what they need when they need it.

... that I expect to be treated well by others.

... that I don't obsess over what someone else might be thinking of me.

... that I dress up when I want to dress up and don't when I don't and if I am having a low-effort day it doesn't reduce my hotness. (This reminds me of a line from a book I read when I was young about how the pretty girls can make weird faces with ease because their innate prettiness means that can make themselves temporarily ugly without fear and that resonated with me then as a self-perceived ugly duckling who was insecure about everything but could have a lot to say about embracing hotness.)

... that hotness is an attitude far more than anything physical and it is the attitude encapsulated by the all of the above.

Turns out that seeing people express completely over-the-top, uncomplicated, unnuanced self confidence is really inspiring. Let's all try it!!!


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I Don't Know if You've Heard of Her, But This Olivia Rodrigo is Actually Pretty Cool

I finally listened to Olivia Rodrigo's album and... is it a problem if a teenage girl's processing of her breakup actually corresponds directly to my nearly-middle-aged experience of heartbreak???

I mean, have you HEARD the song Happier???

It's the perfect encapsulation of the, "we're broken up and I'm pretty enlightened about it and I do want you to be happy but also I am just petty enough that I want to be doing better than you" mood that I know I carry and at least it's me and Olivia even if no one else will admit it.
 
Driver's License makes me cry.
 
Good 4 U has just enough of what I guess are now old school pop punk vibes that my still-beating teen-angst-heart wants to mosh and scream along.

Anyways, I guess I'm still seventeen and I'm so happy this exists.


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Why Does Everyone Think I'm Going to Punch Them?

A memory:
 
Comedies when I was young that had a consistent trope: a guy approaches a girl to ask her to dance or on a date, and instead of just saying no, she slaps him or dumps water on his head or something semi-violent or humiliating.
 
(It's worth noting that usually these guys were not being inappropriate or creepy, they simply gave an offer that was not reciprocated.)

Another memory:

It was about a week after my sixteenth or seventeenth birthday. One of my guy friends, who had come to my party, made a comment that he almost bought me some kind of perfume as my birthday gift, but he didn't know if I would like it and "didn't want to get punched."

Something current:

This post from one of my fave Instagram accounts, Not a Wolf:

An image of a tweet with the text "probably a good idea not to comment on anyone's post-pandemic appearance unless you want to get acquainted with their pre-pandemic ability to bite down at 1200psi"

What do all these situations have in common?

MEN!
 
Men used to almost exclusively write for TV and movies, and they featured women responding aggressively to unwanted male attention.

Then, a boy I knew watched those shows all growing up and got it into his head that if he gave me a gift I didn't like I might... PUNCH him???

Finally, a grown adult man today makes a joke that the reason you shouldn't comment on other people's bodies isn't because of human decency but because of the violence they may inflict on you in return.

I get that the first and last things here are JOKES and the whole point is that they are exaggerated FOR THE COMEDY.
 
The question still stands: how much of men's understanding of how women should behave do you think is filtered through the things a bunch of dudes in the 90s thought would be funny?


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If You're Going to Destroy Something, Learn Its Name First

"Not only knowing the names but getting them right is a duty to other living things on this planet, I think. Certainly towards humans, at the very, very least. But I would even say more so to the inhabitants of forests. If you’re going to cut them all down, have the decency to know which animals you’re destroying their land—not just call them brown birds, or birds even. Know that there’s blue warblers there. Know that there’s cerulean warblers there. Know that there’s pine siskins there. Know there’s a bird called a titmouse there. Just have the decency to know what’s around you."
-Aimee Nezhukumatathil

Those of us who are colonists (aka: anyone living in North America who came here by choice as a result of colonialism) could really take this to heart.

If you're going to destroy anything, know what it is you're destroying. What specific species of animals or plants, what specific land, what specific cultural practices, what specific people. Name them. It's the least you can do.


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:

Getting super quick results on a COVID test so that I didn't have to sit around in isolation for very long and for the friends who were on the ready to deliver food and anything else I needed if I did have to stay in isolation! (And also that it was negative, babeeeee!)

Getting my first COVID vaccine!!!!!! For all the scientists and healthcare workers and other workers who dropped everything to make this happen and even for the governments who knew to prioritize this and that they made sure Indigenous communities got it before I did.

BC announced its restart plan and while aspects of it did freak me out a bit, it was really comforting to see a plan that is based on clear markers and science instead of a reckless rush to re-open.

My beloved soulmate bestie with whom I am as silly as can be and then super deep and we go on our anti-racist journey together and also she made a ridiculous Hamilton sign to celebrate me getting the vaccine.

The fact that I baked myself a cake!

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: I was going for a jog (I know! A JOG!) around the track in a nearby park and a bunch of dudes were standing around and then, all at once, started leaping into the air like frogs. (Okay what they were actually doing was an interval workout and the jumping squats started, but it legitimately looked like they just said, "Hey! Let's act like frogs!" and then started chaotically jumping around.)


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The Distinction is Very Important But How Do You Tell The Difference???

How do you tell the difference between a detour and a roadblock? (The metaphorical kind, not the actual ones on actual roads that are usually pretty clearly marked.)
 
As per this Instagram post, a detour is a challenge (or five) along the way that tell you it's going to be harder and take longer to get to your final destination. A roadblock, on the other hand, is a signal that you're never going to get there.

It's the difference between "this is still possible for you, it's just harder," and "it's not going to happen for you."
 
The post goes on to affirm that most of the time we think things are roadblocks when they are actually detours.

But it doesn't tell us HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE which is kind of a big part of the whole thing, right????

So, how do YOU tell the difference? How do you, as Dr. Eilers of Instagram recommends, "practice discernment between detours and roadblocks"?
 

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The Most Important Questions: What Jeans Were Being Worn the Year You Were Born?

I know what question has been burning in your heart for a while now: what did jeans look like the year I was born????

Elle Magazine has answered the question. It's really just a great excuse to click through vintage fashion photos.

Here's 1984:
 
Also, let's appreciate that anyone wearing tighter-fitting jeans prior to the late-90s is doing so with ZERO STRETCH in those jeans. They are pure denim with comfort to match.


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Questions For When You Don't Know What the Heck to Do

For when things feel off or bad and you don't really know why: Catherine Andrews, of the Sunday Soother, has a list of questions to help figure out what's going on.
 
Here are some of my faves:

  • Am I attempting to mind-read somebody else's intentions in this situation?
  • How could I give myself what I'm hoping this other person will give me?
  • What if what felt right to me, was right?
  • Is it true?
  • Do I want to keep thinking this thing? Why or why not?

You can see all the questions in her post here.


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Self-Awareness May Be Too Much Work Right Now But At Least We Have Global Self Hypnosis

As per yesterday's post, I'm currently in a place where I feel like most self-awareness and self-work is too much effort and just kind of exhausting. I'm still interested in it and have a host of saved articles and ideas to share on here, though.
 
So just know that while I'm going to keep sharing these things, I'm probably being a huge hypocrite and not doing them myself. 😊
 
One thing I AM doing, however, is loving the affirmations Instagram account Global Self Hypnosis. They post affirmation memes that are just unhinged and discordant enough that they really speak to my soul and, honestly, leave me feeling kind of affirmed. (They also have merch!)
 
A meme with the text "I am not living a crazy dream" over the image of a futuristic-looking city that is in the middle of the water.

A meme that says "I am overflowing with profit-making ideas" over a sort of glowing spider web in space with wings.

A meme that says "society moves forward, I do NOT have anxiety" with an aggressively cheerful picture of a unicorn in front of a sunset.


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Near Miss

I came across this gif and just really felt like it needed to be shared. Here you go.

An animated gif that appears to be from a very old black and white movie with a man standing in the middle of a road. A streetcar on rails zooms towards him and at the last minute, turns instead of hitting him.
Giphy


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Sometimes, Growth is Gross

“Some periods of our growth are so confusing that we don’t even recognize that growth is happening. We may feel hostile or angry or weepy and hysterical, or we may feel depressed. It would never occur to us, unless we stumbled on a book or a person who explained to us, that we were in fact in the process of change, of actually becoming larger than we were before."
- Alice Walker

This reminds me of chrysalis time and the fact that we think of cocooning as some cozy time of warmth, self-protection, and growth, but really it's messy, painful, and kinda gross.

I want to say that this is an encouragement to use those feelings (the anger, weepyness, agitation--let's use a different word than hysteria) as a signal and start looking at your life to see if this is an instance of growth and where you might be going, but honestly? I'm feeling way more laissez-faire about this kind of thing these days.
 
If you want to analyze your feelings and your growth, by all means. But if you are feeling chaotic and confused and don't feel like digging into it, chances are the growth will still happen. I don't know that we need to be aware of the process for it to work. After all, it got you to the point of feeling like crap, didn't it? Maybe you can just experience it and see what happens on the other side.


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This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
The last week I have been grateful for:

Having dinner with my mom and dad outside in a park! It was so lovely, even though we got takeout Indian food and forgot to order rice with the dishes and also didn't have plates so we ate off the lids to the takeout containers.

Giving blood for the first time ever (I guess I'm grateful to myself for that?) and the technician doing my needle was very friendly and nice to talk to but also there was a finance bro across the room from me also donating he was very interesting to watch.

A board member at my work who is going ABOVE AND BEYOND to help us develop a strategic plan and it is killer.

The fact that it was supposed to rain this week but it was mostly sunny instead.

To Nicki Minaj for Super Bass which I spent an evening learning the lyrics to so I can do a really good job lipsyncing along to it.

As always, calls and visits with friends because friends are everything I could possibly want.

This week's delight:
 
Teen punk band The Linda Lindas who wrote the song Racist Sexist Boy and I was agape with joy watching it!


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Halfway Houses

When new owners purchased half of a duplex in Ruhrgebiet, Germany, disparate renovations and paint jobs began to emerge. Wolfgang Fröhling has photographed these two-faced houses and they are kind of incredible to look at!

A photo of a house straight-on. The house was renovated on one side by one person and the other by someone else. The house appears to have been designed to be mostly brick with an accent square in the middle of the face of the house. One half of that square is white, the other half is painted yellow with some brick accents built onto it.

A photo of a one-level house. Half of it is painted a light blue, the other half is almost entirely covered in leafy vines, with just a bit of dark grey stucco showing on top.

(Via Colossal)


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