Learning! Roundup: Did you know that plants have COGNITION???

Remember these??? It's been awhile! But there has been some cool research that's come out recently and I still want to share it with you:

A photo of a bunch of funnel-shaped beakers with grass or plants in them that appear to be frozen.
Photo by Chuttersnap

When people think about their mortality, it makes them more likely to make donations they perceive as leaving a legacy or somehow transcending death.

Growing up with an elderly person at home actually increases negative views towards older people, especially if the elderly person in the home has serious health needs.

+ If you think religious people hate science, you might be American, because apparently religious Americans are unique in the world for their skepticism towards science.

+ HEY-O! Plants might actually have COGNITION!!! There is evidence that plants can do things like communicate, remember things, recognize kin, and even count, which are all considered markers of cognition. (This is not really a surprise, but it's also kind of wild to see discussed by a scientist. I can't wait until we start learning about the personalities of plants!)


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Oh This? It's Just a Crown for My Face

Listen, I am not much of a jewelry person (I keep meaning to wear a necklace and consistently forget), but I am pretty darn taken by Laura Estrada's vibes. Maybe if live, public events become a thing and I ever go to an awards show again???



(She also has pieces that could be classified as "regular" that still have a pronounced regal quality.)


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On My Wishlist: Cat Backpacks and Food Dehydrators

Every once in a while I get kind of obsessed with a new thing that I definitely don't need but I really want. I am not even sure I will USE the thing, but daaaaaaaang I want it. I spend at least a week researching it online, comparing models and prices and trying to imagine my life with it and then at least another week bombarded by online ads for it as I ask myself: will I actually use it? Will I love it? Is it going to change my life? Is this just me trying to imagine I am different kind of person? But if I do use it, it WILL change my life! And then I WILL be the best me! Right???

Here are two things I have been obsessing over lately:

The cat backpack.



I swear, I don't just want one to help one of these cat dads fall in love with me. I mean, if I had ANY evidence one of them lived in Vancouver then... yes. I would stop hesitating.

Here is what I have come to learn: cat backpacks are basically available from this website for about $200 (yiiiiiikes) or from Amazon the Evil for around $50.

But if I had one, would my cat love going for walks??? Would it be WAY EASIER to take her with me when I go see my parents? Would we go sit at the park, as if we are a real family and experience real bliss for once??? Would my life be PERFECT???

(UPDATE: I GOT A CAT BACKPACK!!!! Found a used one so I didn't even have to make the horrible decision between Amazon or spending all my money. We have had one outing so far and I think my Gertie likes it???)

The food dehydrator.


Eating dehydrated foods is not really a part of my life right now, but I can't stop thinking about getting a food dehydrator. I am not sure what I think I will do with it. I have vague notions of being a person who brings a snack to the park and people say, "This is delicious, where did you get it?" and I lean forward and say, "I dehydrated it at home," and everyone claps.

Generally, this obsession is taking the form of some kind of multi-functional food cooker. An air fryer or pressure cooker, but it is very important that it also dehydrates.

I truly have three things I ever cook for dinner, so this would either expand my range exponentially or sit unused next to the slow cooker that has gathered dust for YEARS.


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Why We Suffer

I saved this image from Scott the Painter on Instagram quite some time ago. Every once in awhile, I look at it and feel a bit more at rest.

Artwork by Scott Erickson (Scott the Painter), depicting on candle in the centre that is burned out and many lit candles surrounding it, as if they are prepared to relight the snuffed candle.

The text he posted with it:

"I don't know why we suffer... and I'm not sure there is even an answer to that question. Or if it's even the right question to ask about suffering.

But I do know this: there is a strange byproduct of suffering... which is the gathering of human souls around those who are hurting.

May we never lose sight of the Light that shines brightest when we gathering to care and love each other. The Divine says it's present in that moment. Maybe it's some of the most poignant places of incarnation..."

Here's a key, though: in other for other human souls to show up and ease your hurting, you have to let them know you are hurting in the first place.


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All Ways

I saw this on Instagram and just loooooove it. I much prefer the idea of someone telling me they love me "all (the) ways" than "always."

Actually... I want both. Is that greedy?



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I Finally Understand Circular vs. Linear Time

A photo with the sky in the background and in front, a circle with little sticks coming out of it, sort of like a drawing of the sun.
Photo by Miguel Henriques.


I have been hearing people talk about circular vs. linear time for ages, and to be honest, I've never fully understood it.

All I knew was that, apparently, seeing time as circular was more feminine and/or Indigenous and seeing it as linear was more masculine and/or colonial. But no one ever talked about what it means for time to be circular, so despite being a woman and thus, theoretically, more circular in my thinking, I had no idea how it was supposed to work.

Untillll NOW!

Now I have actually received an EXPLANATION of what it means to live in more circular time (thanks to Jocelyn K. Glei in her Hi Fi course) and it makes SO MUCH SENSE.

Here's the basic idea: if you base your thinking on things that are cyclical, like the seasons, then you see life as a sort of spiral, or repeating process of life, death, and rebirth. It takes away the sense of finality to each moment, day, or experience, because everything comes back up again.

(As opposed to linear thinking wherein you are constantly moving forward into something new, which means that you kind of have to progress/get it right because you'll never be back.)

Jocelyn was inspired to this philosophy in part thanks to this quote from Olga Tokarczuk's novel Flights.

Once we’re on the bus, she sets out her theory of time. She says that sedentary peoples, farmers, prefer the pleasures of circular time, in which every object and event must return to its own beginning, curl back up into an embryo and repeat the process of maturation and death. But nomads and merchants, as they set off on journeys, had to think up a different type of time for themselves, one that would better respond to the needs of their travels. That time is linear time, more practical because it was able to measure progress toward a goal or destination, rises in percentages. Every moment is unique, no moment can ever be repeated. This idea favors risk-taking, living life to the fullest, seizing the day. And yet the innovation is a profoundly bitter one: when change over time is irreversible, loss and mourning become daily things.

(Pssst: I still have no idea why this is inherently a feminine way of seeing things, except maybe that many women's bodies are ruled by a monthly cycle? I'm sure someone would say something to do with circular time being more generous and gentle or something like that, to which I say, can we stop with labelling some character traits as masculine or feminine???)


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I Want You Out of My Head and Into My Calendar

A photo of a white wall with a calendar hanging on it. The calendar is mostly white with orange and blue.
Photo by Charles Deluvio.


We all know the trick of putting something we want to remember in a place we won't be able to help but run into. (Right? We do all know that? Like putting the folder you need to bring to work on top of your shoes?)

This Lifehacker post reminded me that this is not just for objects. It's also for activities or ideas:

"We prioritize the things that make their way into our calendars. The things we quite literally see on our to-do list for the day. We give short shrift to those things that we just keep in our minds."
-Emily Balcetis

I already do this, sometimes. I'll put "do yoga" or "read" on my to-do list for the day so that I actually feel compelled to do it during a more relaxed day of puttering and errands.

The idea I love from this, however, is that I am honouring these smaller desires or tasks by giving them a physical (or digital) place in my life. That actually writing them into my calendar or to-do list respects their importance.


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Brené Brown's Trust

Ooooohhh boy, Brené Brown's talk on the anatomy of trust is very good. Highly recommend.


A few takeaways:

"Trust is choosing to make something important to you vulnerable to the actions of someone else." - Charles Feltman

We build trust with people through smaller moments that seem less significant, like remembering the names of people who are important to those we love.

We trust people who show up to funerals.

We trust people who ask for help when they need it.

"You cannot judge yourself for needing help and not judge others for needing help."

Boundaries are important to trust, not just that the other person respects ours but has and respects their own.


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The Women Who Keep Men In Check

An animated gif of Jennifer Lopez crossing her arms in an annoyed huf.
Giphy

I recently met the female coworker of a male friend of mine. Afterwards, he said, "Now you know the two women who keep me in check." (The other, of course, was his wife.)

This statement kept coming back into my brain like a sneaky little cartoon tentacle to bug me.

It's part of the patriarchy that annoys me most: the part that makes women responsible for the behaviour of men. The part that almost, sort of, sounds like the woman has authority but doesn't actually give her any power at all.

It's why a number of women I know who had professional careers before having children questioned going back to those careers where they were expected to be mom at home AND mom to a bunch of grown men at work.

It's a branch of the "men are head of the household but women are the neck" philosophical tree, which people love to use to say that women actually hold the power in a relationship. (Except, of course, for the power of actually being the leader and being able to openly make decisions or use authority at all.)

It's exhausting.

(Also if we haven't yet collectively gotten over the idea of a "head of the household", can we do that now, please?)


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Subsidy or Welfare

Just a little reminder:

Whenever the government provides opportunities in privileges for white people and rich people they call it “subsidized” when they do it for Negro and poor people they call it “welfare.” The fact that is the everybody in this country lives on welfare. Suburbia was built with federally subsidized credit. And highways that take our white brothers out to the suburbs were built with federally subsidized money to the tune of 90 percent. Everybody is on welfare in this country. The problem is that we all to often have socialism for the rich and rugged free enterprise capitalism for the poor. That’s the problem.- Martin Luther King Jr.

In Canada, we subsidize most industries: oil, food, the arts, even business start-ups. But we give welfare to people.


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Fierce Astro-Classico

Is it just me or are these paintings by Lucia Carvalho insanely fierce?





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Falling in Love

“If you think falling in love is only reserved for romantic relationships, then you’re missing out on so much.”
— Ayishat Akanbi

I am so in love with my friends it's ridiculous and awesome.


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Extravagance with Gerwyn Davies

Love these photos by Gerwyn Davies of some ridiculously extravagant costumes.





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Turns Out There Are More Grudges In Here Than Expected

An animated gif of a clock with the hands advancing quickly all the way around.
Giphy

A while back I wrote about giving grudges an expiry date and how it was unexpectedly effective in helping me release anger that really had no place in my heart anymore.

Here's a twist: what about all the grudges I hold against MYSELF? What about those???

Turns out that those arguments I didn't handle exactly perfectly that I keep having run through my mind are actually grudges. Same with the time I didn't say exactly how I felt about someone at the time when it could have made a difference or the times I was mean as a teenager--but only because they crop back up in my mind, uninvited, just often enough to ignite regret.

They need an expiry date too.


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The Bad Apples Defence

A stop-motion animated gif of a fruit basket. We zoom in as an apple spins around with a nasty expression on its face. It's a bad apple.
Giphy foxadhd

First of all, the saying is, "a few bad apples spoil the bunch," so if your defence is that you are getting blamed for a few bad apples, you are telling us you've been spoiled. I am sorry to hear that.

Second, if I found a bad apple mixed into my produce and my goal was not to have a drawer full of rotten fruit, I would move pretty dang swiftly to deal with that apple. You know, to avoid the aforementioned spoiling of the bunch.

Things I would not do:

- Leave the bad apple there and hope the non-spoiled apples kept the bad one from getting worse.

- Put the bad apple right in the middle of the bunch so it feels included.

- Systematically move the bad apple around to different parts of the drawer, allowing it to harm no more than one or two other apples before it is moved along.

- Turn the spoiled part of the apple against the side of the drawer so that it is hidden from sight.

- Put a bunch of good apples around the bad apple to shield it from the spotlight and show all apples matter solidarity.

- Take the bad apple out of the drawer for a day and then put it back in once the apples had all had a break.

- Put the bad apple on top of a bunch of soft, sensitive cherries that are especially sensitive to rot.

In case it's not obvious, here is what I am saying:

If the police forces of North America were really upstanding organizations with the occasional "bad apple" who holds uncharacteristic evil in their heart, wouldn't we see any and all officers who display problematic, violent, discriminatory, or abusive behaviour immediately fired, re-trained, fined, or charged under the very rules they are meant to uphold???


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Make it Beautiful

Feel like shutting out the news? Sho Shibuya's here to help.



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HAMILTON! I Love It and I Have Some Thoughts

A photo of a television with the HAMILTON title screen. A toddler is standing in front of the TV looking at it. Around the television are kids toys and a bunting.

Like most of the world, I was overjoyed to watch the filmed version of Hamilton when it came out. I went over to one of my bestest besties' houses (COVID-disclaimer: this is allowed in our part of the world!) and we watched and clapped and cried so many times.

It's beautiful. I would daresay that the production is as perfect as any staging I have ever seen. The performances, the choreography, the music, the LYRICS, the set, everything. Magnificent.

There were a few things about it that bugged me, though.

Smarter people than I have written commentary on the implications of dropping people of colour into stories about America's white colonial founders, so I will leave that conversation to them. (Those conversations have also been brilliantly rebutted and responded to by Lin Manuel Miranda himself.)

Here's what I noticed: this musical is so dang AMERCIAN.

I mean, obviously, right? It's about the founding of the US as a country. I guess I just didn't expect it to be so uncritically amped on the very history I thought the show had set out to challenge.

Every time Hamilton sang, "Just like my country I'm young, scrappy and hungry," I thought, DANG. No one here is interested in challenging the story America tells itself about its own history and values, are they?

The other thing I noticed? My raging feminism.

In the final song by Eliza Hamilton, I became straight-up angry that this musical wasn't about HER. It was a sudden knife in the heart to realize I was following yet another story of a man obsessed with power and his work while the women are relegated to being suffering supporters who actually do way more with their lives.

Also, it annoys me to NO END that the song for his affair has him singing, "I don't know how to say no to this," which makes it seem like he is powerless in the situation. Dude. You know how to say no, you just don't WANT to and I would love to someday see a narrative where a man is clearly CHOOSING the affair, not powerlessly drawn into some woman's sex magic.

I'm not a monster. I love the musical. I was swept away. I would still pay a lot of money to see it live (because there's no way that isn't a heart-shaking experience). But one of the best parts about culture is that you can love something AND be critical of it.

(It probably has something to do with how we get better as people.)

(See also: my intense love for Harry Potter and everything that is effed up in that world.)


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Collage Art by Frank Moth

During lockdown, I got into making collages and mailing them to friends. I am very inspired by the work of Frank Moth.

Collage art with a woman standing in a giant forest, surrounded by huge hummingbirds.

A piece of collage art. The background is a block of orane and white. A white woman's face is partially covered with roses, and there is text behind the flowers you can't read.

A collage depicting a giant girl and man standing in a city. They have flowers on their heads and the sky has a hot air balloon.


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The Cat Scale

Today is a 4 / 5 split.



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An Internal Conflict


So here is something I have noticed in recent years:

On one hand, we have messages like this, with an underlying message to cis, straight dudes that their sexuality and gender identity doesn't have to be threatened if they aren't always the Big Strong Man. They can be soft, unsure, or traditionally feminine and still be men.

On the other hand, whenever we have males characters in pop culture who have these non-Big Strong Man traits, there are immediate analyses declaring these men to be queer, trans, or living somewhere else on the gender and sexuality spectrum.

So.... it's tricky. Because these messages contradict one another, and we need both.


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The Prom I Never Had

I had a prom, but (shocker) it was not life-changing nor did it fit any of the televised prom stereotypes. It was a really fun dance with my friends where we wore amazing outfits. Emily Stein's photos depicting an old school, classic prom make me nostalgic for an experience I never had.

An old school prom photo of two kids smiling.

A classic, 80s prom photo.

A classic old-school prom photo.

Two young girls at an 80s prom.


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I Found a Glitch in My Feminism

A photo of a city street that has been treated so one side is blue and the other is pink.
Photo by Tayla Kohler.

Here is something I have been thinking about a lot now that most of my friends have children:

With the little girls in my life, I never hesitate to buy them a book or gift that is traditionally "masculine." In fact, I often seek it out. I want them to see the "male" domains of life as equally available to them as the "female" ones.

With the little boys? I instinctively avoid anything traditionally "feminine." I don't buy them dolls or tutus unless I have been explicitly told that they want these things.

Why? I want boys to see the "female" domains of life as available to them, too.

The issues, I have realized, is that I worry about their parents. That they will see the girly stuff at best as lame and at worst as offensive.

OFFENSIVE.

There is actually a part of me, underneath all the feminist shine, that thinks a fuzzy pink blanket lives somewhere on a range between lame and offensive.

I know I know I knoooooooooooooooooooow that this is a pile of baloney! Long before I had all these babies in my life to trigger inner feminist crises I was reading essays on our cultural obsession with elevating masculine things over the feminine and shaking my head at how sparkles are "lame" but sports balls are "cool."

It's just a lot more real when you are standing in a kids' store and realize that it feels like the gift you are choosing is a brave political point and not just a sweet, fun, or cozy treat for a little human you love.

SIGH.


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Photos of 2020

Brook Didanato's photos perfectly encapsulate 2020 because of:

a) Lockdown.

b) The number of white people who insist on trying to hide our faces from reality.

c) All of the above.

A photo of the front of a house with a woman's butt-half hanging out a window.

A photo of two hands emerging from a bush, sort of zombie-like.

A photo of a woman in a field of cacti, sticking her face directly into one. It feels hilariously hopeless.


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An Open Letter

Dear Margaret Atwood and J.K. Rowling,

There is something kind of funny in particular about you two writing/signing a letter against cancel culture.

You have both been called out for various insensitivies and interestingly, neither of you seem to have lost your wealth, power, or status.

You weren't cancelled. In fact, aside from having to live through some anger on Twitter, it seems you have had no consequences and that many people still think of you as feminist heroes. You are okay.

Sincerely,

The Undersigned


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Were We Really More Innocent Before the Internet?

A vintage black and white photo of some children in front of a house. One is riding a tricycle, and the others are posing and smiling.
Photo by Boston Public Library.

I saved had this article, Innocence Lost: What Did You Do Before The Internet?, as something I would like to write about, well, apparently it was published in August 2019, so almost a year ago? Wow.

I keep skipping it because I still don't quite know how to formulate my thoughts on this whole notion that there was a magical "more innocent" (and thus "better") time without the internet.

On one hand, yes, of course: the internet makes the darkest, worst parts of humanity available to be stumbled upon by accident, let alone sought out. It turns our comparison machine up to eleven. It uses us and monetizes our attention. We now have to intentionally choose to rest (really rest, not just distract ourselves) or be alone with our thoughts, which means that happens far less often.

On the other hand, let's not get ridiculous. Childhood is still full of play, silliness, and joy. Kids still experience the world with innocence and wonder. Folks who are now adults that grew up with the internet are truly fine: they are smart, interesting, and caring (unless they aren't, but the internet didn't invent dumb, boring jerks in every generation).

A True Friend

A photo of two women sitting on a bench facing the water. One woman is wearing a blue headscarf with flowers, the other a golden-yellow headscarf.
Photo by Mihai Surdu.

“A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself — and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to — letting a person be what [they] really [are].”
— Jim Morrison (edited for gender neutrality)

A few thoughts/questions/reactions:

On the whole, yes. Agreed.

What if you think a friend is avoiding a feeling or not being who they really are? What do you do then? Is it your job (or even in your capabilities) to push them to face their reality?

What is the relationship between what we feel and who we are? Is a part of our identity wrapped up in how we respond emotionally to things?

Can you hold space for a feeling without being "okay" with it?

Who do I do this for easily? Are they my closest friends, or are they just people I have similar reactions to?


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Thank Goodness for Counselling

Animated GIF with text that says "shout out to my therapist" - the text moves around slightly
Giphy

I have been seeing my counsellor off and on for more than five years. (Possibly verging on ten, but recognizing that involves recognizing how long I've been alive.) There have been times when I've seen her regularly to get through something big, but most often now I just make an appointment when something tough arises and I can't seem to unpack it on my own.

I have realized that most of our sessions are comprised of me bringing her a situation that I wish was different, and her doing two things: affirming my feelings and then grounding me in reality. Over and over again.

Sometimes the full hour passes with me saying some variation of, "But what about...", "I just wish it could...", and "Yeah, but maybe..." until I have exhausted every possible avenue of making my imagined reality into a real reality.

Every time, she replies by affirming how I feel and then grounding me back into what is actually happening.

These are the magic sessions where I leave feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Because it turns out that fantasies are not always liberating escapes. When they won't let go, they become huge, heavy burdens. A burden that I need to work through over and over again, describing all the ways it could possibly be real so that a very patient professional can say, "That would be wonderful, but it's not true."

Thank goodness I have her!


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A Full House

A coworker sent this to me and said it was a little creepy. I think it's magical. A concert for a theatre full of plants.


Via Colossal.


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Honestly

"Choosing to be honest is the first step in the process of love. There is no practitioner of love who deceives."
– bell hooks

After reading this quote, I sat for a minute and actually tried to think of ways this isn't true. Doesn't a person sometimes have to deceive the people they love for good reasons? I truly have no idea why my brain went there first. It's not like I am in the habit of running around, lying to the people I love. (Unless, of course, we are planning a surprise party. Then I will lie like crazy. But I like to say that's a lie even Jesus would tell.)


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Who Do You Love?

“In times of crisis, we must all decide again and again whom we love.”
— Frank O’Hara

Just a thought, relevant to the times we live in now: we can love people we don't actually know personally.

Another thought: I now have the Deborah Cox song Who Do You Love stuck in my head. Join me!


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Faceless

Oooooh, have you seen Lucie Birant's faceless watercolour paintings? Love them.

A watercolour painting of two little boys looking at the camera with a toy between them, but their faces are gone. The whole thing has a retro feel, like a photo from the 60s.

A watercolour painting of a woman, standing sideways in a red shirt, but she has no face.



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Embracing the Power of Modifications

Near the middle of lockdown, I subscribed to an email list called The Workout Today. They send emails three times a week that include some kind of philosophical reflection as well as a workout you can do at home.

This is one of the first ones I received, and I saved it.

First, they talk about the importance of embracing modifications so that a workout fits you and your body. Then they expand:

"If you can learn to embrace modifications, you have a little-known superpower. Every day we are faced with 'defaults' that society has somehow agreed upon. These defaults become sources of social pressure and self-shame. The more we recognize these societal defaults for what they are - arbitrary guidelines - the better we can get at modifying as needed.

So no, you don’t have to drink a beer at happy hour, you can modify and drink sparkling water instead.

And no, you don’t have to walk in a straight line down the sidewalk, you can modify with twirls or skips.

And you certainly don’t have to buy into the mindset that you aren’t enough, just the way you are."

Sometimes I am amazed by the fact that I was raised in a society that prizes individuality so highly, and yet I so often let myself get blown about by the winds of the default.

The result for me can be as minimal as staying up later than I really wanted to and as significant as silently watching injustice unfold before my eyes. Both are unnecessary, although the devastation caused varies greatly.

I'm working on paying more attention to when and where I go along with things that I don't necessarily want, just because they are already happening. It's hard! But I like framing it as a modification. I'm not opting out or being lame - I am just doing my own little personal modification!


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Dance it OUT!

One of my favourite things is watching dancers' faces while they have all the fun in the world.



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Guilty

I am not generally one to quote Voltaire, but this is a good one for our time and for all of time.


"Everyone is guilty of all the good they did not do."
-Voltaire

This does two things for me:

1) Reminds me to do better.

2) Reminds me of the dangers of tallying up guilty acts. So quickly they become an avalanche that no human could ever climb their way out from under.

These two facts do not cancel one another out.


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