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| Photo by Tayla Kohler. |
Here is something I have been thinking about a lot now that most of my friends have children:
With the little girls in my life, I never hesitate to buy them a book or gift that is traditionally "masculine." In fact, I often seek it out. I want them to see the "male" domains of life as equally available to them as the "female" ones.
With the little boys? I instinctively avoid anything traditionally "feminine." I don't buy them dolls or tutus unless I have been explicitly told that they want these things.
Why? I want boys to see the "female" domains of life as available to them, too.
The issues, I have realized, is that I worry about their parents. That they will see the girly stuff at best as lame and at worst as offensive.
OFFENSIVE.
There is actually a part of me, underneath all the feminist shine, that thinks a fuzzy pink blanket lives somewhere on a range between lame and offensive.
I know I know I knoooooooooooooooooooow that this is a pile of baloney! Long before I had all these babies in my life to trigger inner feminist crises I was reading essays on our cultural obsession with elevating masculine things over the feminine and shaking my head at how sparkles are "lame" but sports balls are "cool."
It's just a lot more real when you are standing in a kids' store and realize that it feels like the gift you are choosing is a brave political point and not just a sweet, fun, or cozy treat for a little human you love.
SIGH.
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