I have been seeing my counsellor off and on for more than five years. (Possibly verging on ten, but recognizing that involves recognizing how long I've been alive.) There have been times when I've seen her regularly to get through something big, but most often now I just make an appointment when something tough arises and I can't seem to unpack it on my own.
I have realized that most of our sessions are comprised of me bringing her a situation that I wish was different, and her doing two things: affirming my feelings and then grounding me in reality. Over and over again.
Sometimes the full hour passes with me saying some variation of, "But what about...", "I just wish it could...", and "Yeah, but maybe..." until I have exhausted every possible avenue of making my imagined reality into a real reality.
Every time, she replies by affirming how I feel and then grounding me back into what is actually happening.
These are the magic sessions where I leave feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Because it turns out that fantasies are not always liberating escapes. When they won't let go, they become huge, heavy burdens. A burden that I need to work through over and over again, describing all the ways it could possibly be real so that a very patient professional can say, "That would be wonderful, but it's not true."
Thank goodness I have her!
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