The Receptionist: March 2019

Singalong! The World is New by Save Ferris

It's Save Ferris! Did you know they are making a comeback? Well, they ARE! And it's only okay compared to the music they made during my formative, teenage years.

THE WORLD IS NEW

by Save Ferris

I was sitting and waiting

Just thinking, contemplating

My life when I heard the phone

I picked up the receiver

And I did not believe her

When I heard a voice say you're not alone

When I am down and I am blue

All I have to do

Is close my eyes and think of you

And the world is new

Oh, life was getting hectic

And things were unexpected

When I first received your call

But now it is the best thing

That filled up what was missing

And now my life is envied by all

When I am down and I am blue

All I have to do

Is close my eyes and think of you

And the world is new

I was sitting and waiting

Just thinking, contemplating

My life when I heard the phone

I picked up the receiver

And I did not believe her

When I heard a voice say you're not alone

When I am down and I am blue

All I have to do

Is close my eyes and think of you

And the world is new

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: The Gender Chore Gap, Meritocracy, Alzheimer's, and More!

A roundup of research from the past week, including the gender chore gap: girls do twice the chores boys do growing up.

Photo by Chloe Skinner.

The Gender Chore Gap

Teenage girls spend twice the amount of time doing chores than teen boys, on average. PLUS the average teen boy gets double the allowance than the average girl. So, basically, it's no surprise that teen boys grow into men who expect to earn more money and don't even notice that the house needs to be tidied up or that all the women around them are busy doing chores while they watch TV. It's normal. (Cue stifled rage-scream.)

Believing in the Meritocracy is Bad for You

Meritocracy is the idea that people are rewarded for their intelligence and hard work (or their merit). That everyone earns their place. Not only is this not true about the world, but it's bad for your health to believe in it. Truth is, luck plays a huge role (both in giving people the opportunity to earn their merit, as well as helping it turn into success), and people who believe in merit are more likely to be selfish, discriminatory, and less self-reflective.

Light Shows Might Improve Alzheimer's

A new study has shown that patients with Alzheimer's who are exposed to an hour bathed in flashing LED lights and sounds pulsing at 40 hertz might see their symptoms improve. It's a pretty wild and incredible idea!

Plastic Kills Whale

A whale was found dead with 40kg of plastic in its stomach. It's the worst case of plastic killing a sea creature yet.

Trigger Warnings

A new study on trigger warnings showed that at least one of their desired effects does not work: getting a trigger warning before exposure to difficult subject matter did not reduce its negative impact. This was true for people who previously had negative experiences related to the content and those who didn't. Of course, this looked at people who are still exposed to the upsetting content. Nothing yet on whether trigger warnings help people who know they can't handle certain things avoid them all together.

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Tiny, Private Mind-Motions

Photo by Nik MacMillan.

Do you have any funny little habit things you compulsively say, do, or imagine, just for yourself?

I always twist the stem off an apple before I eat it, and I always say the alphabet while I do it. This started when I was a kid and it was one of those games to see the first initial of the person you would marry. I do not believe that I will discover my hubby's name in this way, but the habit remains. I have tried to not do it, and it felt wrong. I can't help it.

When I am riding in a car through a more open area, like farmland, I will move my hand up and down as if drawing lines around the things on the horizon. Bump up for a house, bump up higher for some trees, and so on.

If I look at something patterned, I can't help but imagine I am trying to fill it in with all one colour using the paint fill function on a computer. How can I get it all one colour with the least number of "clicks"?

These, according to some people, are called tiny, private mind-motions.

I like it. It's a smaller, more poetic version of Carrie Bradshaw's "secret single behaviours".

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This Week in Church: Problems, Solutions, and Appropriation

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church we talked about being the problem and the solution.

Within a short span of time, Jesus called Peter his rock and then later called him Satan and told him to get away. One guy: both Jesus' strong support and worst tempter of evil.

It's a nice reminder to all of us that nobody is all good or all bad. We are both, and everything in between. We help and hinder, we heal and hurt, we bring justice and oppression.

This week in church we talked about appropriation.

Here is an interesting thought: is the Western Christian church the ultimate appropriation? This week a long quote from Lisa Sharon Harper was shared that highlights how Christianity started as the religion of a people ripped from their Indigenous lands and enslaved. Now it's also the religion of people who travelled around the world enslaving Indigenous populations and fighting to support politicians who are anti-abortion and just so happen to also want to help them get as rich as possible.

Of course, like Peter and like us, the church is both: it is a means of healing and justice and also a means of war, racism, and evil.

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Inspiration! Roundup: Water Lines, Dancing on Hold, Bodies at Work, and More!

This Week's "I want to go to there": To the light at the end of the tunnel.
Photo by James McGill.

Water Lines

Artists pekka niityvirta and timo aho have created an installation in a coastal Scottish town with lines of light showing where water levels will rise to once global warming takes effect.

Photo from Design Boom.

On-Hold Dance Party

Some hip artists held an on-hold dance party, with music made up of "phone sounds". While that sounds too cool to be fun, the headline of this Colossal article about it is very evocative: "Just Because You're on Hold Doesn't Mean You Can't Dance."

Think about that one with me for a while?

Work

Eiko Ojala's paper illustrations showing the body at work are so cool!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Eiko Ojala (@o_eiko) on Jan 20, 2019 at 7:48pm PST

A Different Metric

“What if joy is my only metric for success?”
– Sarah Jones

I might do some things differently.

Found Art

Artist James Brunt takes the sticks, rocks, and leaves he finds in an area and arranges them into beautiful mandalas.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by James Brunt (@jamesbruntartist) on Mar 16, 2019 at 4:47am PDT

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What Do You Say When You Don't Know What to Say

What to say when you don't know what to say?

Photo by Alex Holyoake.

Oooooh, I love this! What do you say when you just have no idea what to say?

Author Austin Kleon (of Steal Like an Artist) shared a collection of the ways he responds to tough situations, and it's quite useful.

Here are two particularly interesting ones:

When someone tells you about their job and you have no idea how to follow up on it, say "Wow, that sounds hard."

Everyone has something hard about their job! You have just showed respect and caring! They will now share with you the challenges of their job!

When you want to tell someone to their opinion is garbage, instead say "You might be right."

Apparently, it leaves them feeling a little unsatisfied, which is satisfying for you.

Do you have any go-to ways to fill silences or respond to impossible situations?

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Cute! Roundup: Doe-Eyed Dogs, Chinchilla Greetings, Giant Cat Paws, and More!

I had to take Gertie to the vet, and she was a little champ the whole time! She almost looks happy to be there in this picture.

A roundup of cute things, a cat on a scale, dog getting a toy, and more!

OTHER CUTENESS

You know when you are cuddling with your pet and they look at you all lovey-eyed. MELT.

This chinchilla wants to say hello!

Big ol' big cat paws.

Doggo got his best friend back!

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Singalong! Proud by Tegan and Sara

Apparently old school Tegan and Sara is one of my favourite things to sing along to, because this is my third hit with them. This song came on my Spotify the other day and I honestly got a bit carried away with the message of the thing. Fight for things! Be proud! Be strong!

PROUD

by Tegan and Sara

Freedom and blood

I make my mark and fight for tomorrow

Finally I've got something

Something I can raise my voice for

Fine tell them who you really want

Fine well you'll get yours and I'll get mine

Proud

I'm proud to be, proud to see

They said proud

I'm proud to be, proud to be me

They said tell me, oh you've got to tell me

Freedom's rough

So we take our stand and fight for tomorrow

Finally we got something

Something we can bring down the house with

Fine tell them who you think you are

Fine tell them fine is what you are

And when you finally figure out what it is you need

You better think of me

No, no, no, no

When I get up

I feel the rhythm in my fingers

I get up, I hear the rhythm in my laughter

Take a second look

You might find that I am stronger

Take a second look

You might find that you are stronger

Imagination, inspiration

It's only fair that I tell you

I plan on leaving here tonight with my pride

It gets me every time

With my pride

I'm proud to be, I'm proud to be me

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: Pollution, Placebos, Evolutionary Psychology, and Ageing

A roundup of research including the effects of pollution, placebos, and gender roles.

Photo by Malcolm Lightbody.

Pollution

More on how the world is NOT fair and is definitely set up to benefit some people and hurt others: ethnic minorities produce less pollution, but are exposed to more.

The Placebo Effect

The placebo effect is one of my absolute FAVOURITE psychological phenomena! It is so cool! The fact that we can physically heal just because our brains think we have done something to promote healing??? WHAT??? I love it. In recent years there has been a bunch of research to test the limits of the placebo effect, and some pretty wild things have been discovered, including the fact that a placebo can work even if you know it's a placebo.

Evolutionary Psychology Gets a Boost

Sometimes, scientific results make me grumble. Like the fact that a new international study just showed that men do typically prioritize looks in finding a mate while women tend to look for earning potential instead, and that this difference is not explained by the gender inequality of the country these people live in. Of course, this doesn't prove that women "naturally" care more about money and men "naturally" care more about looks, but it does cast doubt on the explanation that women have to seek financially stable partners when they aren't given economic opportunity on their own.

Ageing Awareness

As we age, we become less sensitive to other people's anger, but remain sensitive to their happiness. That's kind of nice, actually.

Alzheimer's Eye Tests

Soon it may be possible to identify Alzheimer's in someone just by looking at their eyeballs! This is because the retina thins and contains less small blood vessels as the disease takes hold.

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This Week in Church: Some Things About Jesus and Wanting Things

This week in church we talked about Jesus.

Some things about Jesus:

Jesus shows us a God who would rather die than be in the sin-accounting business. (This is a paraphrase of a Nadia Bolz-Weber quote.)

Jesus wants to be the place where violence ends.

Jesus says that if everyone is guilty, then no one gets to congratulate themselves.

These are the things that remind me why people want to follow Jesus in the first place, including (maybe especially) the "I'm not Christian, but I follow Jesus"-types (which is a boat I guess I am in?). This is a guy who was put in the position of judging sins and ran around forgiving them instead, choosing not to fight back in death just to demonstrate non-violence. Pretty inspiring.

This week in church we talked about wanting things.

One famous Jesus-story is the time that some people cut a hole in the roof of a house he was in so they could lower their friend down to him on a mattress to get healed.

Here's what struck me about that story this time: when was the last time I not only wanted something so badly that I would go to such lengths to get it, but also believed in it that much? They were doing this to get their friend in front of a guy with a reputation for healing. Had they seen him heal anyone? Did they know for sure it would work? What made them think it was worth the risk?

If I were in this group of friends, I would have done everything I could to convince them NOT to go destroy property, jump the queue of people trying to get to Jesus, and generally (in my mind) screw over everyone's lives.

While I don't necessarily think this is the wrong way to live my life (respecting systems and people's things), this made me wonder what I might, occasionally, miss out on. What healing, gifts, or rewards do I opt out of by not wanting them or pursuing them enough? Does it matter if I obviously don't want it that bad in the first place?

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Inspiration! Roundup: Photographing Air, Fan Ho's Hong Kong, Self-Care, and More!

A roundup of inspirational things for your Wednesday: photography, animations, quotes, and beautiful feminist futures

This Week's "I want to go to there": Let's make something with our hands.
Photo by Donovan Arias.

Air

Daniel Forero's series 'Air' has a lot of uncomfortable moments where you are just waiiiiiiting for that balloon to pop.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Daniel Forero (@adanielforero) on May 21, 2018 at 12:54pm PDT

Fan Ho's 1950's Hong Kong

Fan Ho's street photography of Hong Kong in the 1950's is so evocative, I could look at it for a while.

Self-Care

"Self-care is also not arguing with those who are committed to misunderstanding you."
-Ayishat A. Akanbi

Oh yes. I am going to take this one to heart.

Relaxing Animation

Looking at Alex Moy's simple animations made me feel more relaxed.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @alxmoy_ on Feb 28, 2019 at 4:50am PST

Imagining a Feminist Future

Vice had some feminist thought leaders get together and discuss what they would see as a future feminist utopia, their hopes and dreams for the next generation, and other things about the future of feminism. It's largely a hopeful, beautiful read.

bell hooks' feminist utopia: " It’s really very simple. Our stewardship would be both to the earth and to gender. It wouldn’t be to some high tech anything—it would be to the complete embodiment of simple living."

Jacob Tobia on hopes for the next generation's gender experience: "I don’t want a gender-less world. I want a gender-full world. I want a world where gender identity matters to people, but it matters as a form of creative expression and not some determination of your self-worth or ability to survive."

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About the "Better" in "Feeling Better"

What is the "better" about in "feeling better", a self-help book about learning to like yourself?

Photo by Sabrina Miso.

There is something I want to clarify about Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself.

It's right there in the title: the word "better". What do I mean by that?

It could be better as in "all better!" Where you previously had an issue and ailment and it's gone now! Done! Better! Check that off the list and never worry about it again!

While that does sound nice, in a way, it also doesn't sound particularly realistic.

What I meant by "better" is more along the lines of "improved." Like when you've been congested and you're finally able to breathe through both nostrils or you are learning how to play piano and you plunk out your first tune. It's better! Noticeably! You'll never really be done improving your piano skills or finding ways to be healthier in your body, but you can get to a point you're satisfied with and maintain it, knowing that someday you might want to work at getting even better.

That's the kind of better I mean. Progress that is incremental. Where you can see that things have changed, and that they can continue to do so. Where you feel better than you did before, and maybe even see a future where you feel even better than you do now. Where there is always room for growth.

I don't know about you, but that seems like a big relief to me.

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Cute! Roundup: A New Kind of Black Hole, Toes for Days, and More!

Sometimes, you just need pizza, a cat, a blanket, and some Friends.

A roundup of cute things from the past week! This week it's all dogs and cats.

OTHER CUTENESS:

A new kind of black hole.

Toes for days!

No, no, cuddle like THIS!

This is the happiest I have seen ANY creature to be on a subway.

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Singalong! Unpretty by TLC

Here's what I love about this song: it's about young women realizing that they are letting outside forces make them feel bad about themselves, and not having it anymore. Beautiful.

UNPRETTY

by TLC

I wish I could tie you up in my shoes

Make you feel unpretty too

I was told I was beautiful

But what does that mean to you?

Look into the mirror, who's inside there

The one with the long hair

Same old me again today, yeah

My outsides look cool

My insides are blue

Everytime I think I'm through

It's because of you

I try different ways

But it's all the same

At the end of the day

I have myself to blame

I'm just trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow

You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the make-up

That M.A.C. can make, but if

You can't look inside you

Find out who am I to

Be in the position that make me feel

So damn unpretty

I'll make you feel unpretty too

Never insecure until I met you

Now I'm bein' stupid

I used to be so cute to me

Just a little bit skinny

Why do I look to all these things

To keep you happy?

Maybe get rid of you

And then I'll get back to me, yeah

My outsides look cool

My insides are blue

Everytime I think I'm through

It's because of you

I try different ways

But it's all the same

At the end of the day

I have myself to blame

Can't believe I'm trippin'

You can buy your hair if it won't grow

You can fix your nose if he says so

You can buy all the make-up

That M.A.C. can make, but if

You can't look inside you

Find out who am I to

Be in the position that make me feel

So damn unpretty

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: Happy Dads, Rebounding and Religion, Eye Contact, and More!

A roundup of research from the past week! Dads are happier than when they are single, repressed thoughts rebound in religious teens, you can make less eye contact and be fine.

Photo by Lonely Planet.

Happy Dads

There is a lot of disheartening research on what having children actually does to your happiness in life and your relationship (mostly it seems like it makes you less happy for quite some time, despite --or perhaps because of-- feeling this amazing love for your child). A new piece of research, however, shows that parenthood does make one group happier overall! Guess who? Men. Isn't it funny how all this research shows that marriage and children make men's lives happier and healthier, while doing the opposite for women, and yet women are the ones who are supposed to be desperate for it all?

Rebounding and Religion

The rebound effect is what happens when you try to suppress a thought and it bounces back into your mind, stronger than ever. New research looks into this effect in the context of religious teenagers who are taught that their sexual thoughts are wrong. Turns out that Orthodox Jewish boys who are trying to suppress their sexual thoughts have even more compulsive sexual thoughts than their peers and are less happy because of it. Sigh.

Eye Contact

Have you ever talked to a person who maintains eye contact for the ENTIRE CONVERSATION? It's weird, right? (Unless you are one of those people, then you just think it's normal.) I recently had one of those conversations and I suddenly didn't know what to do with my eyes. Well, it turns out that, in general, people are equally happy with the amount of eye contact you give them if you stare into the ol' peepers 75% of the time or 25% of the time. So we can all cut it down a notch.

Video Game Violence

The evidence regarding the relationship between violent videogames and violence in real life is inconsistent at best. When I was in university, it seemed that the consensus was on the causative side, saying that video games did, indeed, increase IRL aggression. Now, it's less clear, and there is another study out supporting the idea that violent video games do not create more violent teens.

Wit and the Glass Ceiling

Here's more fun with unconscious bias in the workplace: witty men are more likely to be promoted, while witty women are less likely to get the same favour. It's unsurprising to any funny woman that humour is more appreciated in men, but always disheartening to see it confirmed in research.

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This Week in Church: Making Things

This week in church, we talked about making things.

The story was told of some university's intro process for new students: they would be given a tour that ended them in the art studio in the centre of campus. They would walk in, and the art teacher would simply ask, "what do you want to make today?"

What a beautiful, simple, and deceptively difficult question!

What do you want to make today?

In a world where it can feel like everything we are doing is for someone else, whether our boss, partner, children, or friends, how much more fun and meaning would we have in our lives if we asked ourselves this question more often?

This week in church we talked about being made.

The idea of a Creator God may not appeal to you all that much (it certainly doesn't make sense to me in any literal way), but if you look at it as a story with a message, what is the message? That we, and everything in existence, are beautiful, loved, and good.

That's a pretty nice idea to meditate on.

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This May Be the Best Small Talk Alternative to Asking "What Do You Do For a Living?"

Photo by Trung Thanh.

Normally I think these "alternative small talk" questions are so weird and inappropriate. No, I do not want a stranger asking me what my greatest joy is, thank you very much!

However, this one got me all excited: without using the title of your job, tell me what you do.

Without using the title of your job, tell me what you do.
— Tinker Elle (@elle91) February 5, 2019

Tinker Elle did it on Twitter, and here are some of the wonderful responses:

"I make dead people look beautiful & feared." -@DoththeDoth

"Try to not let people leave without taking home at least one cat." -@BrianinHD

"I know why you died." -@drjudymelinek

"I help turn wind into electricity so that we can all charge our phones and stare into the Twitter abyss while melting fewer ice caps." -@annemcmurray

So how would you describe your job? I can think of a few versions, but this is my current favourite:

I let theatre artists make theatre for a little while.

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Feeling Better: Mental Health Month

Photo by Sabrina Miso

March is Mental Health Month! For the month, I have partnered with Grace Club YVR, a wonderful organization of women working towards equality and empowerment, to share excerpts from Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself on their Instagram feed.

To celebrate, here is a short excerpt to share with you!

"I am awesome, first and foremost, because I am a person and that's what people are. So are you. I didn't always see things this way. I used to perceive my value (if I had it at all) as based on my accomplishments, what I had produced. While there is some good that results from this worldview, like providing the drive to actually contribute something to society, I now see it as more dangerous than not. If my true value comes only from what I produce, I am under constant pressure to keep going, keep performing, keep creating, and do more, more, more. There is never the freedom to stop, lest everyone see what a failure of a human I really am underneath it all."

Head over to Grace Club's Instagram account for more!

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Inspiration! Roundup: Frida Catlo, Being Silly, Time Travel, and More!

A roundup of inspirational things from the week, including: the comfort of a dog in a blanket, Frida Catlo, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": I am still a lil' scrunch-faced dog seeking comfort.
Photo by Matthew Henry.

Frida Catlo

Artist Nia Gould created a book detailing the history of art in 21 cats - it includes Frida Catlo, Henri Catisse, Vincat Van Gogh, and more. It's adorable!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Nia Gould (@niaski) on Jul 6, 2018 at 11:18am PDT

Be Silly

“None of us are getting out of here alive, so please stop treating yourself like an after-thought. Eat the delicious food. Walk in the sunshine. Jump in the ocean. Say the truth that you’re carrying in your heart like hidden treasure. Be silly. Be kind. Be weird. There’s no time for anything else.”
-Nanea Hoffman

High-Def Outer Space

Photographer Andrew McCarthy took 50,000 photos of the moon and stars to combine into one image, making it a super high-resolution photo. I have never seen the moon look quite like this, it's stunning.

Then and Now

Looking at Ard Gelinck's photos combining images of celebrities now with pictures from their youth made me cry. So many of them are hugging or otherwise showing great love and affection for their past selves, and it is super beautiful to think about! WHat if you could go back and give your past self a hug?

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Then & Now (@photo_time_traveling) on Nov 25, 2018 at 11:10pm PST

It's Pinteresting

People go to Pinterest to find inspiration all the time - but when the makers of Pinterest discovered that people were also using their platform to spread anti-vaxxer nonsense, they had to decide what to do. Facebook (and other platforms) have struggled to shut down misinformation on their channels, but Pinterest didn't have that problem. They simply removed the information from their platform. Now, if you search "vaccine", you get no search results.

A spokesperson simply said, "We’re a place where people come to find inspiration, and there is nothing inspiring about harmful content."

I love it.

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