Learning! Roundup: This is Your Brain on Absurdist Art (also, oil-soaking sponges, loneliness, and more!)

Photo by Mr TT.

When Nothing Makes Sense

Have you ever seen the movie Mulholland Drive? Or looked at some absurdist painting that just didn't make any sense? Turns out that under the meaning maintenance model, taking in art like this causes a sensation similar to physical pain in our minds, but then ultimately results in perking up the meaning-maker part of our brain, making greater sense of the world and affirming our identity.

Oil Sponge

I remember in elementary school, our teacher had us do an exercise where we imagined we were in charge of cleaning up an oil spill. How would we do it? One student suggested a giant sponge of some kind. Of course, we were kids and a magical oil-sucking sponge hadn't been invented... UNTIL NOW! Researchers have now developed a large, porous sponge that can suck up oil off of water. I am just going to imagine that my classmate went on a life trajectory that led him to be a member of that team.

Lonely Days

A new global study of loneliness has been done, showing that people are lonelier if they are younger, male, and live in countries that are higher in individualism. There are, of course, some confounding factors, and this study directly contradicts another one that came out recently saying that women were more likely to feel lonely, but there you have it!

Be a Memory Athlete

First of all, did you know memory athletes are REAL THINGS? It's true. People train, practice, and compete at memorizing stuff. They aren't special - or at least, they aren't cognitively special or different from the rest of us. They ARE special in that they devote their time to mastering memory-encoding techniques that any of us could learn and do on a daily basis.

Machine Diagnosis

A new machine learning study analyzed social media posts about COVID symptoms on Chinese social media site Weibo (similar to Twitter). It was able to predict diagnosis rates in regions up to 14 days ahead of official statistics.

Asymptomatic Commons

Remember how COVID confirmed what many people suspected: that cruise ships are travelling incubators of disease? Well, a new study of a group of people stuck on a cruise ship showed that a whopping 80% of those who were infected with COVID had no symptoms at all.

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When Do You Let Yourself Quit?

Photo by Daniel Herron.

Normally, I find Seth Godin to be brimming with pithy wisdom. But judging from Tuesday's post, I guess this week is about sharing things that sound smart, but I think are wrong, wrong, wroooooooong!

This is from his book DIP:

“If you’re going to quit, quit before you start. Reject the system. Don’t play the game if you realize you can’t be the best in the world.”

Why on earth would you limit yourself to only doing things you can be the best at IN THE WORLD? For many people, that would mean they must do NOTHING. Or maybe pick something so obscure and niche that nobody else is doing it, regardless of whether they enjoy it, because they are the only one doing it so now they are both the best AND the worst in the world at it.

Is that what you want? HUH???

Listen, if trying to be the best in the world is really motivating to you and helps you be all that you can be, go for it. But I'm not sure how you can really aim to be the best in the world without constantly comparing yourself to others, which sucks the joy out of everything.

He also implies that quitting after you've started is a bad thing to do, and I reject that, too! Knowing when it's time to walk away can be a powerful, empowering thing.

Elsewhere in this book, he says that when you are ready to quit, that means you have nothing to lose and can lean into the problem so hard you fall right through the other side. That the stress of the moment is NEVER worth quitting something with long-term potential.

So basically, it doesn't matter how much you suffer, just keep suffering. For what? Potential! Who cares if you emerge on the other side and realize that the result is NOT worth it???

Listen, there are some circumstances when this is the right advice. If you're trying to write a book or start a business and you just have to push through a wall of "I don't think I can do this" to get through, then push your way through that dang wall!

There are many circumstances, however, when this is terrible advice. Here are a few:

- When you are in a relationship that isn't working but has potential.

- When you are in the middle of a physical challenge and will literally break your body by continuing.

- When doing so turns you into a monster that nobody wants to work with or be around and you lose your colleagues/friends/marriage.

- When your overall mental health at stake.

Here's my counter-advice:

Start whatever you want to start. Try to be realistic about your skill level, how hard you want to work at it, what success looks like, and when it might be reasonable to quit.

If it's an activity or project with a "finish line," try your best to finish, even when it gets hard. If at some point it becomes clear that finishing is no longer worth anything to you, then feel free to walk away and devote your precious energy to something else.

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Inspiration! Roundup: I Wish You Love

This Week's "I want to go to there": Honestly, now I am just dreaming of more outdoor,
distanced visits with people I love.
Photo by Artem Maltsev.

I Wish You Love

This little girl singing I Wish You Love is one of the dang sweetest things I have seen in a long time!

Pandemic Archives

The Autry Museum of the American West is looking for anyone who lives in the American West to send in images of objects that have taken on special significance for them during the pandemic. Recipes, masks, journals, and whatever else has taken a hold on your life. I love it!

Paper Dolls

Artist Bethany Bickley has made a series of book sculptures that are verifiably awesome. I love the way it looks like the book has just sprouted into different shapes.

Why We Need Gardens

Oliver Sacks is a writer and a doctor who insists that gardens are a vital part of his creative process as well as medical treatments for his patients. While staying at my parents' house I was able to sit outdoors and enjoy a garden, and I found it a very beneficial place to be.

"All of us have had the experience of wandering through a lush garden or a timeless desert, walking by a river or an ocean, or climbing a mountain and finding ourselves simultaneously calmed and reinvigorated, engaged in mind, refreshed in body and spirit. The importance of these physiological states on individual and community health is fundamental and wide-ranging. In forty years of medical practice, I have found only two types of non-pharmaceutical “therapy” to be vitally important for patients with chronic neurological diseases: music and gardens.”
- Oliver Sacks, Everything in its Place: First Loves and Lost Tales

Will Change Come?

Everyone keeps talking about how this pandemic will change our lives and our systems for good. I really really hope so. This piece of art by Jonathan Allen, shared in Hyperallergic, can lead us as we create our new vision for life.

Jonathan Allen, "Interruption 203" via Hyperallergic

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Are You Choosing Your Present Self or Future Self?

Photo by Garidy Sanders.

It was recently suggested that I start asking myself if the choices I am making benefit current me or future me.

The implication was that I should be disciplined with current me for the benefit of future me. That current me should fight her inherent laziness, buckle down, and work hard so that future me reaps the sweet, sweet rewards.

I don't like this perspective at all.

Don't get me wrong, I am all about working now so I can enjoy something later, delaying gratification, and having some good old fashioned Type II Fun (things that are fun in retrospect, not while you're doing them). I eat the crust of my toast first so that I get to enjoy the middle part completely uninhibited at the end. I get it.

But! Seeing our present selves as only lazy, shortsighted dummies does us no favours in the present or the future because our future self is actually just our present self waiting to happen. So at what point will present you have travelled far enough into the future to have earned whatever rewards you are delaying?

Your present self deserves just as much joy, freedom, and fun as your future self.

Your future self needs some fun memories to look back as much as it needs the material benefits of your hard work and prudence.

Chances are also pretty good that your present self enjoys working hard sometimes. That just sitting around all the time doesn't feel that good for your present self. That might be why, during lockdown, most people suddenly became interested in new exercise routines and baking: our present selves enjoy being active and productive.

We may actually be pretty bad at identifying what our present self really wants, let alone guessing what our future self might be happy with.

For example!

We might claim that we are skipping an important family event to work overtime for the sake of our future selves, but really our future self will wind up regretting always choosing work over family and our present self is simply avoiding standing up for itself.

We might say we are choosing our present self by chilling out for the day and binging a new show, but really our present self would rather call a friend or pick up a ukulele, if only it could summon that tiny bit of effort to get started.

So what do we do with this suggestion to ask ourselves if our choices benefit present us or future us?

We ask away! It's good to know what choices we are making.

Sometimes, choose the present. Other times, choose the future. In either case, let's be honest about what our future and present selves actually want.

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Cute! Roundup: A Small Bunny That Just May Be a Deity! (Also, a napping lizard, sheep playing rugby, and more!)

This was from when I was staying at my parents' house. I set up my desk on the dining room table, and Gertie made herself very comfortable across the way on my desk.

OTHER CUTENESS:

I think this little bunny is... some kind of deity.

If he fits he sits, but will he fits?

Want to feel safe for nap time? This lizard has got it sorted!

A sheep playing rugby!

Someone reallllllly loves going to doggy daycare!

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Singalong! Never Forget You by Noisettes

I think Noisettes came up in one of my random Spotify playlists and I was instantly in love. Their old-timey vibe is perfectly executed and I love how this song is maybe about a couple that used to date and also maybe just about a couple of friends who had an intense friendship. What do you think?

NEVER FORGET YOU

by Noisettes

Watcha drinkin'?

Rum or whiskey?

Now won'tcha have a

Double with me?

I'm sorry I'm a little late

I got your message by the way

I'm calling in sick today

So let's go out for old time's sake

I'll never forget you

They said we'd never make it

My sweet joy

Always remember me

We were mischievous

And you were always wearing black

I was so serious

You know my boyfriend's mother nearly had a heart attack

I'm sorry I'm a little late

You know the stripes on a tiger are hard to change

I know this

World feels like an empty stage

I wouldn't change a thing

So glad you're back again

I'll never forget you

They said we'd never make it

My sweet joy

Always remember me

I'll never forget you

At times we couldn't shake it

You're my joy

Always remember me

We just got swallowed up

You know I didn't forget you

We just got swallowed up

We just got swallowed up

And you know that I didn't forget you

We just got swallowed up

By the whole damn world

Watcha thinkin'?

Did you miss me?

I borrowed your silver boots

Now if you'd just let me give them back to you,

I'll never forget you

They said we'd never make it

My sweet joy

Always remember me

I'll never forget you

Although at times we couldn't shake it

You're my joy

Always remember me

Don't you know that you're my joy?

Always remember me

Don't you know that you're my joy?

Always remember me

Photo by Nika.

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Learning! Roundup: It's Possible to Love Your Job TOO Much (also, hope-filled recoveries, moral machines, and more!)

Photo by Jon Tyson.

Don't Love Your Job Too Much

Companies love it when their employees love their jobs because then they work wayyyyy more. It turns out, however, that they are also more likely to be territorial, hoarding work-related knowledge, and even behave unethically. All so that they can advance in the sweet job they love so very much.

Hope

If you are trying to recover from a mental illness, hope is a key factor. A new study shows that hope is a strong predictor of recovery from common anxiety-based disorders, and that hope increases in therapy.

Moral Machines

In our continued efforts towards the machine uprising, when computers become or great and all-knowing overlords, we have now successfully taught them morals! By feeding a computer books and articles, scientists have now been able to help a computer program make moral judgements of right and wrong. And of course, these judgements vary slightly depending on what eras or societies the readings come from.

Smart Folks Can't Take the Heat

If you do realllllly well at tasks where you're just trying to do your best and absolutely choke under pressure, maybe you're smarter than average! Turns out that people with higher intelligence perform better in low-pressure situations, but when they are under intense pressure, those with lower intelligence shine. So for the smartypants among us, process-based goals and a focus on "doing your best" really does make a difference.

Live For Today, Plan For Forever

My grandpa used to say you should live as if you're going to die tomorrow and plan as if you're going to live forever. Turns out that this ability, to live in the moment while planning ahead, is a magical key to mental well-being. So no problem! Just strike that perfect balance of presence and planning.

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This Week in Church: Everything Changes

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

This week in church we talked about everything changing.

The message was about Joseph. If you didn't grow up with the Bible or are too young (or too cool?) to know the story of Joseph and the Amazing Technicolored Dreamcoat, his story is one of being attacked and betrayed by his jealous brothers who sold him into slavery. As a slave, he had some ups and downs, was imprisoned, and then became the Pharaoh's second in command thanks to some canny dream interpretations. He is often used as an example of how God is playing the long game and bad things in our lives can be used for the good.

One thing that was emphasized this week, however, was the whole notion of our lives changing in an instant. That we can go along, thinking we know what will happen tomorrow and then BAM! We are tossed into a pit while our brothers negotiate selling us into slavery.

It's a good reminder to hold our plans for our lives loosely and our values with a tight grasp.

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Inspiration! Roundup: The Unexpected Relevance of Domestic Demise (also, mental health utopias and murals!)

This Week's "I want to go to there": Hanging out with FRIENDS! Who are RIGHT NEXT TO ME! What a dream.
Photo by AllGo

Domestic Demise

Patty Carroll's photo series Domestic Demise could very well be a commentary on quarantine life but it started long before we knew we would be trapped in our homes like this. It's funny and a little sad and I love it.

Mental Health Utopia

"Yes lockdown poses its own mental health challenges. But can we please stop pretending our former world of long working hours, stressful commutes, hectic crowds, shopping centres, infinite choice, mass consumerism, air pollution and 24/7 everything was a mental health utopia?"
-Matt Haig

Exactly, Matt. Exactly.

Mural Fest

Every summer, my neighbourhood in Vancouver has a mural festival where a host of buildings give up their facades to be covered in art. It's really fun and I truly can't wait for the year when we realize we've run out of buildings. No word on whether that festival is continuing thanks to COVID, but a bunch of artists created their own home mural festival, painting murals in and around their homes.

Mural by Alex Senna

Email Poem

Writer Jessica Salfia made a poem out of the first few lines of emails she received during lockdown. Below is an exempt, but the entire thing resonates.

"In these uncertain times
as we navigate the new normal,
Are you willing to share your ideas and solutions?
As you know, many people are struggling."

Flower People

Artist Meggan Joy grows flowers, photographs them, and then arranges those flower photos into images of women. What a process! The result is stunning.

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Are We Really All Just Doing Our Best?

Photo by Nathan van de Graaf.

When this whole thing began (is it good or bad that I can just say 'when this whole thing began' and be confident that we all know what I'm talking about? Except now I'm a bit nervous that you might not know - "it" is the pandemic. That's obvious, right?) my social media feed was full of sanctimonious shaming directed towards strangers for hoarding toilet paper and hand sanitizer.

I took to my own account to share my own (perhaps equally sanctimonious) thought:

"Dearest friends.
Everybody is doing their best, even those reacting in a way that you wouldn't or doing things you don't understand.
I love you all.
(Air-hugs.)"

One friend replied that she disagreed. Some people weren't doing their best. Some people were being greedy, opportunistic, and just plain revealing the worst underpinnings of humanity. We had a little back and forth where I conceded that perhaps some people weren't doing their best, but that, just like normal times, most people were.

Since then, though, this has hung in my mind: does doing your best presuppose that you are at least trying to do right by others? Or is some people's best attempt at life going to be selfish, opportunistic, and otherwise nasty?

Usually, we excuse some level of selfish or even damaging behaviour with an understanding that our pain, stress, trauma, and other issues sometimes make it hard for us to see the harm we are causing others.

But how far does that go?

What if someone's issues or upbringing makes them see all of life as a competition and has shown them that they must seize opportunities and always make sure they are on top because if they aren't on top they are on the bottom?

What if life has taught them that if they are not the one taking advantage of others, others will take advantage of them, so they'd better strike first?

What if this person also happens to live in a deeply-entrenched capitalist system where people are generally rewarded for purchasing items as cheaply as they can and reselling them at whatever price the market will bear?

When this person seizes the opportunity to take care of their family and "not lose" by buying hand sanitizer in bulk and reselling it for $50 during a global pandemic, has their selfishness pushed them past the point of our compassionate understanding?

Or are they still doing their best?

If so, is their best just not good enough?

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Cute! Roundup: A Fake Baby Platypus, Library Cat, and More!

If you look very closely, you can see that Gertie is not sleeping in this picture and has just barely observed me infringing on her space to get the photo.

This Twitter thread claims to have a baby platypus on the main picture. See that cute (but maybe fake?) thing and then scroll down for other cute things, real and not.

A library employee's cat is getting dressed up to represent different books every Saturday. It's wonderful.

Turns out we've been using cupholders wrong this whole time.

It's been five whole seconds since this puppy saw its owner.

An inch-worm just inching around.

This is definitely cuteness bait, and I'm taking it: your UPS package delivery just got a whole lot cuter!

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Singalong! Sinner's Prayer by Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga has said this song is about standing in front of a man and saying, "I don't want to break anyone's heart but yours." I'm going to be honest, I don't quite get what that's supposed to mean. Does she mean that she loves this man and wants to be with only him and stop seeing other people? That sort of makes sense. But it doesn't really matter because I love this song and it's really fun to sing along with.

SINNER'S PRAYER

by Lady Gaga

I came down the mountain

Draggin' our love affair

Put on a pretty little number

I'm wearing you still

It was a hell of a scene at daddy's feast

Nobody saw it coming, but the little red devil in me

He has a funny way sayin' forever too fast

Don't get mad, can't blame a tramp

For somethin' he don't have

I get on my knees and beg you

Hear my sinner's prayer

I am what I am

And I don't wanna break the heart of any other man

But you, but you

Oh, hear my sinner's prayer

It's the only one I know

It sure as hell don't rhyme

But it's as good as, good as, good as, good as gold

Got a baby sister who looks just like me

She wants nothin' more than a man to please

Maybe she's in too deep

Her love for him ain't cheap

But it breaks just like a knockoff piece

From Fulton Street

The man's got a gift for gettin' what he wants

He's thirsty when he drinks

Gets on the brink, and throws her off

I get on my knees and beg you

Hear my sinner's prayer

I am what I am

And I don't wanna break the heart of any other man

But you, but you

Oh, hear my sinner's prayer

It's the only one I know

It sure as hell don't rhyme

But it's as good as, good as, good as, good as gold

Good as, good as, good as, good as gold

I can carry you, but not your ghosts

Wish I had the faith, but I don't know, oh

Hear my sinner's prayer

I am what I am

And I don't wanna break the heart of any other man

But you, but you

Oh, hear my sinner's prayer

It's the only one I know

It sure as hell don't rhyme

But it's as good as, good as, good as, good as gold

Good as, good as, good as, good as gold

Good as, good as, good as, good as gold

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: When You Lose Your Religion, You May Not Lose the Whole Thing (also, conscientious psychopaths, guessing people's age, and more!)

Photo by thom masat.

Losing My Religion (But Only a Little)

People who were once religious and now are not carry some "residue" of their religion with them through the rest of life. The good news is that this generally takes the form of some pretty positive behaviours, like volunteerism or caring about a group's success over an individual's.

Conscientious Psychopaths

Despite psychopaths being associated with violent or criminal behaviour, there's actually a good number who are "successful" at life (defining success as not committing crimes or being violent, I guess?). The thing that sets them apart is higher conscientiousness. This allows the more positive traits of psychopathology (like their dang charm) to shine and help them go places in life.

Guessing Age

Where do you look when you try to guess someone's age? Apparently, you'll probably spend most of your time looking around their mouth and neck. Not that staring at someone to guess their age is something that really needs to be done very often. Or at all.

Bodies Online

There has been a lot of research showing how women's bodies are depicted online, but not much looking at what is out there for men. A new study shows that men face the same kinds of images as women on Instagram influencer posts, with most being lean, muscular, white men.

The Gamers Are Alright

A 6-year longitudinal study shows that 90% of gamers are not addicted and are totally fine, even if it seems like they play a lot. Within that 90% are a group who started the study showing "moderate" symptoms of problematic gaming that never got worse, so even if it seems like someone is getting a bit too into their games, chances are they will be fine!

Toxic Masculinity Strikes Again

Since feelings in and of themselves are perceived as being gendered, apparently, men can't even be happy without having their sexuality questioned. Men who are happier are more likely to be perceived as gay, whereas women have a greater range of emotional expressions available to them without threatening their sexual identity.

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This Week in Church: Hanging Our Hearts On Things

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

'

This week in church, we talked about hanging our hearts on things.

"What are you hanging your heart on these days?"

Is whatever you are hanging your heart on capable of holding a heart? Or will it fall apart or run away on you?

What (besides the obvious answer of God/Jesus) is a good thing to hang your heart on? Maybe the people, places, and things that make it feel at home? Nature, our more reliable friends and family, the hobbies that make our hearts sing? Can we hang our hearts on multiple things?

This week in church we talked about human beings.

There's a saying that we are "human beings not human doings." We are meant to "be."

It's a nice saying and an important counter to our incredibly doing-focused society. However, could it be that ideally we are a balance between the two? That we let our

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Inspiration! Roundup: Staying Inside Forever is Basically Running a Marathon, Right? (also diary art, quarantine players, and more!)

This Week's "I want to go to there": I just want to be in a park with my friends and be standing close to one another!
Photo by Samantha Sophia.

Emotional Endurance

Well and Good Magazine asked marathoners how they would use the lessons of enduring a marathon and apply them to living in quarantine. They gave some excellent advice, and the first one is one of my favourites:

“No matter how much you prepare, you need to take it step by step.” —Paria Hassouri

That's just life, right?

Lockdown Diary Art

Emmy Lupin's illustrations of life on lockdown paint a peaceful picture that I would love to live in.

The Quarantine Players

This is a piece of quarantine art that I have really enjoyed, bringing "together" professional actors and community members to perform some of Shakespeare's more famous soliloquies.

Before You Buy

I know it feels very good to hit "purchase" on a new item, but it's always helpful to reframe before we buy something we don't really need. Here's a list of questions to ask yourself before making that purchase (from Backpacking Light).

1. Can I work around the problem with a repair, modification, or change in use?
2. If I buy this, what else am I not buying?
3. Can I afford this?
4. Will this item help me do things I can’t do now?
5. Will buying this item significantly increase my enjoyment of X?
6. How often will I use this in the next year? In the next five years?
7.Will this item become obsolete in the near term?
8. Is this item repairable?
9,Do I really need ‘the best’? What is a good second choice?
10. Can I buy something used that will do the job?
11. Am I supporting a business I know and like? Do our values align?

Jellycat

Artist Francois Vogel has been using his cat as a subject in his latest art projects, turning it into a jellyfish using slit-scan photography. It's cute!

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Francois Vogel (@francois.vogel) on Apr 15, 2020 at 9:53am PDT

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For Those of Us Feeling Trapped in Our Thoughts and Feelings...

Photo by UN COVID-19 Response.

A friendly reminder that thoughts and feelings are temporary and do not define us.

We can think about all sorts of things:

- that everyone we love is going to get in terrible accidents or become ill in a pandemic
- that our loved ones are safe and well
- that we are alone in the world
- that all is full of love
- that we are going to be fired
- that we will get a raise and a commendation

We can think all these things as much as we want. Meanwhile, reality will have been out there the whole time, unaffected by what was happening inside our heads.

Our thoughts and feelings are meaningful. They drive our actions. They shape our experience of ourselves and the world. They are worth our attention and care.

But they are not everything. They are not forever.

Don't give your thoughts and feelings more power than they deserve.

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Cute! Roundup: Seals Sing Kiss From a Rose! (Also, some sweet doggo bedtimes and more!)

Gertie has started crawling under the blankets with me from time to time. She doesn't spend particularly long in there, but it's dang cute when she does!

OTHER CUTENESS:

Kiss From a Rose by Seals!

Dog needs to get tucked in every night!

Another doggy bedtime, this one insists on sleeping with his little human!

A bunch of little floofy pillows running through the snow!

Just a handful of cuteness!

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Learning! Roundup: Where Does Your Mind Go When You Sleep? (also, sad vegetarians, going great, and more!)

Photo by Kinga Cichewicz.

Only in Dreams

Thanks to some very fancy technology, we have direct evidence for the very first time that our brains are replaying the events of the day while we sleep. This seems to be what makes sleeping help with the creation of memories.

Sad Vegetarians

As a vegetarian and a person who cares about the environment, I don't love this one: looks like people who don't eat meat are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, and even a desire to self-harm. It's just a correlation, so who knows, maybe depressed and anxious people are just more likely to see the world for what it is and be okay denying ourselves something than happy folks.

Going Green

A new economic study suggests that now is the perfect time to invest in a green stimulus package: spending on things like clean energy infrastructure will actually have greater economic returns, and bonus, help divert climate change. Oh please, can we do this???

Cover-Ups

If you're going to cover up some wrongdoing, it may go better if you are covering for someone else. People seem to be more lenient towards those who display loyalty by covering up for someone else in their in-group than those who cover up their own mistakes.

Universal Basic Income

COVID lockdowns have inspired people to reconsider the notion of universal basic income. In Finland, a test run and two-year study has had a timely release, showing that those who received the basic income were overall more satisfied with their lives and had less mental strain than the control group.

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Imagining a New Normal: What Do You Want to Keep From This Time?

Photo by Ingmar H.

Yesterday, BC announced its phased plan to slowly loosen restrictions and re-open the province. We are in a really good position to safely begin opening up our lives and economy. This means that within a week or two, I may be able to get together with small groups of friends and maybe even HUG some of them. HUGGING!!!

What a dream.

But before we all start poking our heads out of our caves, blinking at the sunlight, and wiping the cheezie dust from our cheeks, there is something else to consider: what do we want to keep from this time?

Many people, including the Premiere of BC, have pointed out that going back to "normal" isn't necessarily what we want.

Normal included overwork and exhaustion. It included exploitative work practices. It included pretending we were okay when really we weren't. It included (in BC) an already-existing public health crisis: the opioid crisis. It included a society barrelling as fast as it could towards climate change.

There were a lot of things that were broken with "normal" as a society.

On a personal level, in my old normal, I often felt like the walls of life were a little too narrow. Life felt rushed, hectic, and never quite right. Like I had to strive for something that wasn't there, but I wasn't exactly sure what that something was.

In this new reality, I have had my challenges, but many of my old issues receded.

So. I may not be able to fix the opioid crisis or change labour laws to be more generous as we envision a new future, but I do have some say over my own life.

What do I want to keep from this time?

I want to keep being honest with myself and others about where I am at and how I am really doing.

I want to keep being generous with myself and others, remembering not to take things personally, to allow space for whatever might be going on at the time, and to prioritize things that feel good.

I want to keep being aware of what I need at the moment and freely giving it to myself.

I want to keep being patient with myself and others.

Basically, during this time I have been more kind, compassionate, and generous to myself and others than ever before. I want to keep that.

I know that once I go back to commuting into the office every day and life's routines kick back in, this will become harder. The walls of life will become more rigid and demanding and there will be less space for softness.

But now I know what it's like to be soft. I hope that makes it harder to give it up.

What about you? As you imagine your life moving forward, what do you want to keep from this time?

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Inspiration! Roundup: Taking Things Day by Day and Loving the Imperfections

This Week's "I want to go to there": a near-spiritual experience of nature is what I need right now.
Photo by Tobias Keller.

Day by Day

Right now, many of us have no choice but to take life day by day. If that's a struggle for you, then maybe this advice from a psychologist on how we can ground ourselves in the present will help.

Imperfect

Painter Marco Grassi has started a "skin positivity" Instagram account. The notion of skin positivity may make your eyes roll a bit, but I love it! His paintings include super-realistic details on skin - visible pores, discolouration, chapped lips, and more. And they are stunning. (Well, it helps that they are all still incredibly conventionally attractive women he is painting, but the skin itself is beautiful, too.)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Marco Grassi (@marco.grassi.painter) on Sep 9, 2019 at 5:16am PDT

In the Quiet

"In my quiet, I was working something out."
-Keanu Reeves

Have I told you yet about my friend's awesome Year of Keanu blog? Every week(ish) she shares a life lesson she has learned from none other than Keanu Reeves. It's really lovely! She did a post sharing some of Keanu's wise words about overcoming tough times, and this one really stood out to me. It's easy to forget that the quiet times, the downtimes, the lull times, are active too.

Skeletal

Painter Bradley Theodore is taking famous people and painting them with vibrant skeletons. It's awesome.

The Wandering Mind

Does your mind wander a lot? MINE TOO! I loved this list of ways to help focus your wandering mind. Apparently, my habit of listening to music in the background is actually a good one, as the one distraction helps take away the power of the others. Doodling is helpful too! So interesting.

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Is Life Really Worth it If...

Photo by Yuris Alhumaydy

Lately, I've heard a lot of sentences that start, "Is life really worth living if .... ?"

... if you don't have a big, all-consuming passion that drives you?

... if you don't get to travel and see other countries and cultures?

... if your work isn't changing lives or making a big impact?

... if you never have children?

... if you don't reach a professional goal?

... if you never get that lake house?

... if you don't have a religious faith?

... if you can't go outside or hug your friends?

I just want to put on the record that the answer is YES. Life is still worth living.

Even if you don't feel called to a greater purpose. Even if you never see the seven wonders of the world or get a villa in Spain. Even if you don't reach a really important goal, climb another mountain, or have a family of your own.

Life is worth living.

Sure, we could get into a nuanced discussion of the deeply difficult medical situations that make the value of simply being alive questionable. But when it comes to these kinds of circumstances? The ones that are really just about giving life the extra juice that makes it feel more exciting or full? Absolutely. Worth it. Don't tell yourself that your life-cake is worthless if you didn't get one particular brand of sprinkles to put on top.

There's a difference between a life that is worthless and a life that could use some enriching.

Don't get me wrong, I think we all deserve to live rich lives. Lives that are full of love and meaning and joy. And if your life doesn't have any of those things, then please, take your very worthwhile life and think about what would make it feel richer.

Do you need to cultivate more meaningful relationships? Find work that gives you a deeper sense of purpose? Get a pet? Try some new hobbies? Save up and travel? By all means, go forth! Do those things!

Just know that you are doing those things BECAUSE your life is already worth living. Your life is so worthwhile that it deserves richness, meaning, and all the goodness you can give it. And if for any reason one of those wonderful things doesn't work out? Still worth it.

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Cute! Roundup: The Deadly Adorableness of a Baby Goat! (plus a squirrel, dog, cat, and more!)

I am at my parents' house now, hunkering down from the pandemic with family, and that means that Gertie gets a whole new set of fancy chairs to claim as her own.

OTHER CUTENESS:

I don't know about you, but every time I see a baby goat, the cuteness kills a little part of me.

This woman is becoming the next Snow White, training the woodland animals to come to her.

A dog is really just a little kid on four legs.

This is pure bliss.

This cat's eyes are stun-ning!

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Singalong! Oh You Delicate Heart by Hawksley Workman

This week's song from my crowd-sourced playlist of hope: Oh You Delicate Heart by Hawksley Workman. It's a lovely and simple ode to staying true to ourselves in tough times.

OH YOU DELICATE HEART

by Hawksley Workman

Oh you delicate heart

Sometimes it feels hard to live

The rain keeps on falling so hard

I forgot that I had some to give

Oh you delicate heart

Remind all the guards on your hill

That a love that comes by might be true

As true as the mountains are still

And I'm sure

The darkness defines where the light is

And takes all our prayers

Oh but

You will still be true

Oh you delicate heart

There's deep enough wells for our tears

When we break ourselves carelessly

Through

A tumbling down of our fears

Photo by Blake Sittler.

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Learning! Roundup: We May Be Always Online, But We Don't Want Everyone to Know It (also, drunk animals, smart teens, and more!)

Photo by Tobias Nii Kwatei Quartey

Always Online

You know how many apps have these indicators that show everyone whether or not you are online? WELL! If you've ever changed your behaviour because of these status indicators, you're not alone. From changing the app settings to hide our online status to going on just to check if someone else is online to going online and then off very quickly, most of us let these indicators drive how we relate online. Interestingly, it's most common that we do all this for the sake of one person who we are trying to avoid or check up on.

Drunk Animals

Ever wonder which animals can hold their liquor? Honestly, I haven't, but I am now tickled to have this information. Apparently, animals who consume fruit as a significant part of their diets are more likely to successfully break down alcohol enzymes without getting tipsy.

Smartypants Teens

Most people have a tendency to think they are smarter than they actually are, but here's a fun twist: teenagers who rate their own intelligence as higher are not only more likely to be narcissistic, but are more likely to be happy with their lives. Interestingly, there is a gender difference: teen boys have a stronger relationship between their self-rated intelligence, narcissism, and life satisfaction. Honestly, I'm not surprised that the girls were less likely to have this inflated view and happiness to go with it - we're not trained to see ourselves as smart and bound for greatness to the same level as boys!

Hearing Voices

Two-thirds of authors can actually hear their characters speak in their heads - some can actually enter into a dialogue with those characters.

Bias in Media

If a mega-corporation gets caught doing something inappropriate, like breaking environmental regulations or corruption, that's news, right? Perhaps unsurprisingly, it depends on whether or not they have a vested interest in the media company doing the reporting. A new analysis of 1,054 instances of corporate social irresponsibility shows that media outlets use their own interest, including advertising spending, to decide whether or not they cover these events.

Selfish Memories

We all like to think of ourselves as kind and generous people. So our memories help us out with that. Turns out that selfish people actually remember themselves as being more benevolent than they actually are, which helps them feel better about themselves as people.

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