Is it a witch hunt?

Lithograph by Joseph E. Baker, Public Domain

It seems like every day since I learned who Harvey Weinstein is and his turdly ways, I read another article about a powerful man getting accused of sexual assault and harassment.

This has, of course, lead to the usual outcry: "Put the pitchforks down!" "Don't start a witch hunt!"

Since it's Halloween, let's look into it. Are we living in a modern-day re-enactment of The Crucible with a star-studded cast?

IS IT A WITCH HUNT?

Good question. It's always a good idea to make sure that you are not in the middle of a witch hunt, literally or figuratively. Here is a basic barometer:

Are innocent, vulnerable people getting accused of crimes by those in positions of power for no reason except fear and anger and sexism (or some other prejudice)? (Actual witch hunt.)

OR

Are people who have always gotten away with crimes suddenly being held accountable by their victims? (Actual justice.)

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

In one case, innocents who have done nothing except exist have their lives torn apart and/or violently ended because of prejudice, mob mentality, and general jerkiness. (Actual witch hunt.)

In another, people who ACTUALLY DID BAD THINGS, that are not only morally wrong but ILLEGAL, but always got away with it because they preyed on the vulnerable and counted on a system to support them, are seeing repercussions. (Actual justice.)

BUT I STILL DON'T LIKE IT!

Why do you think that is?

PEOPLE'S LIVES WILL BE RUINED!

Good point. A lot of peoples' lives have already been ruined by sexual assault and harassment and it continues to be a terrible problem because of nasty power dynamics, fear, and quid pro quo that helps us doubt victims and give the benefit of the doubt to perpetrators.

How many more victims are you willing to rack up before there are consequences?

THEY SHOULD GO TO THE POLICE, NOT THE COURT OF PUBLIC OPINION!

In an ideal world, yes. When someone commits a crime, including sexual assault, they would face normal, legal, consequences. Unfortunately, going to the police often results in the same nasty power dynamics, fear, and quid pro quo that the rest of society uses to protect perpetrators and discredit victims.

This means that a victim has a choice. They can say and do nothing and watch as the person who hurt them goes on with their life and possibly hurts others, allowing more lives to be ruined, or they can say something. The more publicly they speak, the less chance of someone getting victimized just because they didn't know about someone's dangerous history.

It's nowhere near ideal for many reasons, one being that speaking out is very risky for the victim. Chances are they will face a lot more harassment for doing so.

BUT... BUT...

Maybe it's time for a tough conversation with yourself. Why? Why don't you like people who have sexually harassed and assaulted others be held accountable? Why shouldn't people speak out about what has happened to them? Who should be protected first if a very bad thing has happened?


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Cute! Roundup: A puppy's first train ride, a cat's surprise, some Halloween love, and more!

How many pictures have I posted of Gertie lounging in this chair? SO MANY! And I will probably post a lot more. I can't stop taking photos of it, it's just so darn cute!


OTHER CUTENESS:

It's this little guy's first time on a train!

Record scratch.

Some sweet Halloween inspo for those with children.

A black cat roundup for Halloween, they are so adorable and under-loved! Adopt one!

Did you know owls sneeze? Owls sneeze! It's cute!

Remember when a dog thought parade for the Pope was for him? It's still cute.


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Singalong! A Widow's Toast by Neko Case

I don't remember exactly when I discovered Neko Case, but it was with her album Fox Confessor Brings the Flood. I was instantly in love with the album and captivated by this song.


A WIDOW'S TOAST
by Neko Case

Specters move like pilot flames
Their widows toast at St. Angel
Better times collide with now
The tears were warm, I feel them still
Their heat to vapor and disperse
And cloud our eyes with weary glaze

You raise your glass and may exclaim
"I'll put my hands on the truth by God"
But it's faster, love, than you and me
Faster than the speed of gravity
That's how it catches you from falling
And how it always slips away

Specters move like pilot flames
Their widows toast at St. Angel
Better times collide with now
And better times
And better times are coming still

Photo by Samantha Abernathy. CC.



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Learning! Roundup: Live near trees, more evidence for the 'isms', get a better night's sleep, and more!

Some people live with this in their backyard.
Photo credit: Foter.com

The Health Benefits of Living Near Trees

New research shows that living near a forest is good for your amygdala, which is the small but mighty region in your brain responsible for emotional regulate.

More On Sexism in Education

The headline on the article about this study says Wharton Study Shows the Shocking Result When Women and Minorities Email Their Professor. Before clicking the link I guessed that it has something to do with getting less responses, less fulsome responses, more condescending responses, and less invitations for meetings or other enriching things. Basically, that they get taken less seriously. BLAMMO! I was right! Women and minorities get less responses, and less positive responses, from their professors. Not shocking, just a sad reality.

More On Racism in the World

Nikole Hannah-Jones recently won the MacArthur Grant for her work, much of which focuses on looking at systemic racism. Here are some of her lessons about segregation in homes and schools.

Viktor Frankl For the Win!

Viktor Frankl is one of my favourite psychologists and authors. He wrote Man's Search for Meaning, about the vital importance of having a sense of purpose or meaning in your life. Well, new research shows that people who have a sense of purpose in life get a better night's sleep.

Seven Ways to Stand Up to Sexual Harassment

It's a sad, sad state of the world that we're still giving advice on what to do if you are a victim or witness to harassment instead of investing on ways to stop people from harassing, but there it is. This article provides seven evidence-based ways to stop sexual harassment that are safe.

Loneliness and Self-Centredness

I remember in church growing up being told that low self-esteem was a form of pride because God created us all and loved us, so if we thought we weren't worthy of love we were saying we were some kind of exception to God's rule. How terrible! While that line of thinking served only to make me feel worse about myself than I already did, turns out it's got a ring of truth to it. Sort of. A ten-year study shows that loneliness leads to more self-centred thinking in people.

The Appeal of Physical Things

When we buy things, we still prefer to buy something physical over a digital version. Why? Perhaps because we see physical things as extensions of ourselves.


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This Week in Church: Forgiveness

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church we talked about forgiveness.

"Earth is forgiveness school. It starts with forgiving yourself. And then you might as well start at the dinner table. That way you could do this work in comfortable pants."
-Anne Lamott

I feel like commentary is extraneous when it comes to Anne Lamott quotes, so I'm just going to leave that there.


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Halloween SCARY STORIES

It's almost Halloween, so it's time for some spooooooooky stoooorieeeeeesssssss!

Here are some of the things that really scare me these days:










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Inspiration! Roundup: What men fear most, lifeguarding, the true feminine, parenthood, colourblind islands, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there":
Creepy Halloween stuff! I wish I didn't get scared so easily.
Photo credit: George Eastman Museum via Foter.com / No known copyright restrictions

What Men Fear Most

This is a stunningly captivating beat poem and video about men and feelings.

Lifeguarding

Here's a concept I think about regularly. I don't really like it, because it makes me wonder what I'm not doing, but it's also important:

"If you're not drowning, you're a lifeguard."
-Seth Godin, What Will You Do With Your Surplus?

The True Feminine

This 3rd grader's poem on what it is to be a woman is getting all the love on the feminist internet.


I found it here, but I'm sure it came from somewhere else.

Mikiko Hara's Street Photography

I am captivated by Mikiko Hara's street photography. She walked around holding a camera at waste level and shot things she thought were interesting. It's beautiful and carefree and a nostalgic exploration of the everyday.

Parenthood

“i do not expect my child’s respect.
just because i have given birth to their life.
does not mean they owe me.
anything.
what i want most
is to look into my child’s eyes
and
see
that i have given birth
to
a
heart.
have
honored.
held and feed.
someones
heart.
from the moment we first met.
and
they love me for it.”
― Nayyirah Waheed (via Swiss Miss)

Island of the Colourblind


Photographer Sanne de Wilde visited a Polynesian island where disproportionately large numbers of the population have colour blindness. He photographed the island in black and white and infrared. It's stunning!

See photos up close here.

My Body's Nice

This article in Man Repeller unpacking the idea that a person could just think of their body as "nice" is lovely. (The person in question here is actress Debi Mazar.)

"Calling something or someone “nice” is the verbal equivalent of a shrug. It’s a filler word plopped into an apathetic characterization for lack of any other newsworthy quality, a word used when you cannot conjure a single strong feeling, positive or negative, about whatever it is you’re being made to describe. That’s what makes Mazar’s gentle indifference radical. It’s as if she’s saying, 'What’s the big deal?'"

Sounds nice.


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Some things are HARD!

Guys. I am trying to make kombucha, and I'm making and it's fine but it's not great and you need to keep track of everything if you're going to get better because there are so many variables and so far I'm just winging it so my results are totally inconsistent and making kombucha in a consistent way is HARD and things are HARD and why?

That is all.




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Book Club: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

GUYS! The Hate U Give is SO GOOD!

Is that enough? Need I say more?


This is the first time in a while I've read a fiction that isn't fantasy or sci fi, and it's really nice to be reminded that those are good too.

It's about a black teenage girl who goes to an expensive private school that's essentially all white. An unarmed black boy gets shot by the police, and she is in the car with him when it happens. It's her childhood best friend. Then there's a lot of aftermath.

I know writing is never perfect, but the writing is basically perfect. It's from her perspective, and it is 100% in the language of a smart teenage girl who is exhausted from leading a double life (trying not to be too 'hood' when she's at her white school and not to be too 'white' when she's at home with her black friends) and finding out how brave she can be.


The only thing about the book that I think will go against it is that it is so clearly of this time - it's all the things that teenagers are really into right now. She talks a lot about her Jordans and Tumblr. I'm sure Jordans will actually be forever, but Tumblr will someday go the way of Myspace and seem laughable. Hopefully it doesn't get dated too quickly.

Also, it's possible that her boyfriend is just a little too perfect.

If you are white, like me, the book is not only a compelling story but it gives you a window into the lived experience of being a black person. The fact that it's written in the first person is key (and obviously intentional) for this - as  reader, you are in her shoes, experiencing everything alongside her. Everything from the microagressions and assumptions of her peers to the deeply terrifying experience of dealing with the police to the exhaustion of seeing nothing change.

It's just good. Read it! Read the book! Pass it on to a friend!

I can't wait to see what Angie Thomas writes next.


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Cute! Roundup: Office dogs, cat ergonomics, chasing tail, and more!

We have an office dog at my work right now. He is the cutest. I cannot even explain it, so I'll just show you.


OTHER CUTENESS:

Ergonomic cat chairs.

A couple of a-deer-able visitors!

Are you sure you want to try to catch that tail?

Not spying on the neighbours through the blinds or anything.

I've always wanted a cat who sits on my shoulder. Well, now I want an OWL that sits on my shoulder!

Did you know that Nepal has a special day dedicated to thanking dogs for their loyalty? CUTE!


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Singalong! Slip Slide on By by Valerie June

Do you know Valerie June? You should know Valerie June. She is a dream and a half!


SLIP SLIDE ON BY
by Valerie June

What you believe
You give and receive
You patiently wait
Or hurry towards fate

Well, you tapped into time
With luck on your side
And ask no questions why
You just slip slide on by

No question why
You just slip slide on
You slip slide on by

Well, I knock at your door
Gather your heart from the floor
When no answers come
Ever still, never run

No question why
You just slip slide on
You slip slide on by

No question why
You just slip slide on
You slip slide on by

Sometimes I get the feelin'
That I might be with you tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow
Tomorrow

And you need
And you need me
I need you

So don't question why
You just slip slide on
You slip slide on by

No question why
You just slip slide on
Slip slide on by

No question why
You just slip slide on
You slip slide on by

Photo by Steve Ford. CC.


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Learning! Roundup: How to fake playing the piano, dealing with sexual harassment as it happens, reducing gun deaths, and more!

Photo credit: Foter.com

How to Fake Playing the Piano

I have a piano in my home, and I barely know anything about playing it. But I really want to learn! And now, here's a great lesson to get started learning how to make up tunes and play by ear. I can't wait!

Dealing with Sexual Harassment in the Moment

It bums me out entirely that this even needs to be a thing, but I know that I could use this advice: how to deal with sexual harassment while it's happening. It's a useful guide to what to do when you are being sexually harassed to stand up for yourself. The biggest downer in the guide is that we're safer assuming that it WILL happen to us (which we know is true, but we'd rather wasn't) and so it's better to be ready for it.

Waiting Periods for Guns

Turns out that (no surprise), waiting periods for gun purchases actually do reduce gun deaths. Even a couple of days can take people from "I'm pissed and going to buy a gun now to make my point", to "maybe I shouldn't shoot that person."

How to Communicate with Deaf People Without Sign Language

I would like to be a better person, and one of the ways I would like to do that is by learning sign language. However, for now I don't and I may encounter deaf people I need to communicate with. You might to. Here is a nice guide on how to communicate with deaf people if you don't know sign language.

If You Get Shot, Don't Wait for the Ambulance

New research shows that gunshot and stabbing victims who are brought to the hospital in private vehicles have lower fatality rates than those brought to the hospital in ambulances. It's a 62% difference, which is pretty significant. So if you ever need to get someone to the hospital, maybe don't wait for the ambulance.

Drinking and Language

Here's something anyone who did an exchange in university knows: drinking alcohol improves your ability to speak foreign languages. (Not too much though, those slurred words don't sound like any language.)

Lady Bonobos Run the Show

Bonobos are one of our closest primate relatives, and often used as examples of how peaceful and wonderful humans can be. Here's a twist, though: female bonobos are not only in charge, but they are fierce. They band together and randomly attack men to seize power. They withhold food for sex. They are kind of brutal forces. So.... there's something to think about.


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Awesome Award: Beyoncé's Girls

It's time for another Awesome Award! I just watched Beyoncé's Freedom video made for the International Day of the Girl. OBVIOUSLY Beyoncé is the queen of everything, but DANG! These girls! I cried watching them.


Names: Delanee Kilgore, Gabriella Castillo, Ellie Kerai, Brielle Olaleye, Annelle Olaleye, Faryat Fahad, Jazmyn Dorsey, Marilyn Espinoza, Payton Ali, and Giana Rice. AKA: BEYONCE'S GIRLS.

Award Title: For Displaying Truly Outstanding Moves, Inspirational Confidence, Righteous Anger, and Strength While Dancing Their Hearts Out.

First of all, I LOVE that little girls can learn to dance like this now! When I was a kid my choices were ballet, tap, and jazz. Now girls can be FIERCE instead of just delicate. (Don't get me wrong, I love ballet, but I LOVE this.)

Second, I know these girls didn't make up the dances and didn't ask Beyoncé to make this video, but they rock it so hard. The passion that they display, not only in their physical presence, but as they stare the camera down and sing along is practically a spiritual experience. It makes me feel angry, sad, hopeful, powerful, and scared all at once.

I want to be these girls when I grow up.


Special shout out to the choreography team: Lamar Lee, Ellenore Scott, Rhea T-W, Gabriella Sibeko, Heather Liposky


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Can online dating reduce racial divisions in romance?

Photo by Shanique Wright

When my education in diversity and inclusion was kicked into high gear, the first thing I had to deal with was the systemic biases that were unintentionally excluding people from the organization I was running. We were choosing people to join our work based on our personal and professional networks, which means (thanks to overall biases in our society that push social racial segregation) we were choosing people who were similar to us. It was textbook systemic bias in action.

Here's something I never really thought about until now: the traditional dating model, where you meet people through your existing networks and then go out with them, is another clear-cut example of systemic bias for the books.

New research is looking into the idea that online dating is breaking down those broader racial barriers and increasing interracial relationships.

Of course, it's a totally correlational study, and a lot of holes can be poked in any implied causal relationship, but it also matches my personal experience pretty well.

My favourite thing about online dating, when I was doing it, was that I was meeting people who I would never have encountered otherwise. Even my current partner, who I met on Tinder, is someone who I can't imagine having crossed paths with in real life.

The breadth of people I got to meet through online dating was pretty broad, including going on dates with guys from all over the world.

Now, there is other evidence that suggests that people tend to choose same-race partners in online dating just like in real life, but there are people out there who genuinely don't care about that. How cool is it that technology might help break down the overall segregation in our society and give them the chance to meet each other?


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Inspiration! Roundup: The paradox of life, rotoscope ballerinas, hair gifs, and more!

The Paradox of Life

I love me a good paradox, and Annie Lamott describes the paradox of living beautifully.

“The first and truest thing is that all truth is a paradox. Life is both a precious, unfathomably beautiful gift, and it’s impossible here, on the incarnational side of things. It’s been a very bad match for those of us who were born extremely sensitive. It’s so hard and weird that we sometimes wonder if we’re being punked. It’s filled simultaneously with heartbreaking sweetness and beauty, desperate poverty, floods and babies and acne and Mozart, all swirled together. I don’t think it’s an ideal system.”
– Anne Lamott

Rotoscope Ballerina

This ballerina's joints are being traced by a computer-generated rotoscope technique, giving a mathematical layer to her movements.


Get Some Good News

I just signed up for the Goodnewsletter, a weekly email about people who are changing the world for the better. I think this will be a much needed dose of goodness in my life right now. If you're especially fancy, consider subscribing to the Goodnewspaper, and get a quarterly print newspaper full of good news!

Chromatin

Chromatin is a series of gifs and videos celebrating women's hairstyles in Nigeria. They are creative, fun, and geometrically beautiful!

Chromatin #23

Patagonia's Online Thrift Store

Guys. Patagonia is already the most ethical company around. They are the only company I have heard of that is VOLUNTARILY working very hard to eliminate slavery practices their entire supply chain (not just the first tier factories that sew the clothes, but the ones that make the fabrics too). Now they have created an online thrift store for their products so people can buy secondhand. I'm in love.

Nothing Left to Do But Laugh

This piece by Aleks Danko, displayed at Sutton Gallery, is... striking. (Pun accidental but appreciated.)

...you might as well laugh mate, there's nothing else to do...or we can stand with Pauline and chuck gravel...
2017, Aleks Danko, Sutton Gallery


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ME TOO. Now can we try to do something to actually make this better, please?


Yesterday I woke up to see a bunch of friends with ME TOO as their status on Facebook.

If you're one of the superior beings who didn't join social media (I assume because you are a deity who already knows what your friends ate for breakfast), this is a campaign to try to show the depth and breadth of the sexual harassment problem. Any woman (or person) who has experienced sexual harassment or assault was invited to make a status that says "me too" as a simple way of showing they have had this experience.

The first time I saw it I thought, "Seriously? AGAIN? Didn't we do this five minutes ago with #yesallwomen? I don't know how anyone thinks this will make an actual difference if that didn't." (I still participated, because, I don't know. Why not? Maybe it will be another drop in the bucket of healing for someone?)

Scrolling through and seeing all the variations of "me too", my heart didn't break. I wasn't shocked.

If you are publicly perceived to be female, it's a given. Same goes for those who present as somewhere "in between" or not fitting into the gender binary (probably with some violence mixed in). For those who appear to be men, it's probably more accurate to say that "many" have had this experience, although perhaps it is universal as well.

Because of this, it never crossed my mind that a single woman I know has lived a life free of sexual harassment and/or assault and it wasn't surprising to see it overwhelm my feed. 

A lot of men were posting things along the lines of, "I see you, I hear you, I support you", in response.

While that is a nice thing to say, it does not actually make me feel all that supported. I am not confident those men will call their friends out if they make demeaning comments about women or say something if they see a man taking home a woman who is clearly too drunk for anything. I am not even confident all those men would believe me if I had a traumatic assault experience.

The posts from that felt legitimately supportive said something like, "I have contributed to the problem. I have not always treated women the way I should have. I'm sorry. I will try to do better."

YES TO THAT.

And if we're honest, we should all be saying that, women included. Sexual assault and harassment is almost an inevitable experience in our broken culture, and we are all perpetrators and victims.

I have objectified others. I have made shaming comments about other peoples' sexual behaviour. I have pushed when I should have stopped. I have laughed at the wrong things and been too afraid to step in when a situation looked bad. I have been a part of the problem by my action and my inaction.

Maybe we need to get our grade school on and make a giant chart of behaviours we'd like to change. Then we can pick one (pick an easy one to start, it's okay) and work on it. We can give ourselves gold stars for our progress.

Avoided telling a stranger what I thought of their body. GOLD STAR!
Noticed that someone was resisting my advances and stopped. GOLD STAR!
Said "not cool" when a friend made an objectifying joke. GOLD STAR!
Did something nice for someone I was attracted to without expecting sex in return. GOLD STAR!
Thought of a hilarious comment that involves shaming someone for their sexual activity and then kept it to myself. GOLD STAR!

To be clear: I do not think that we deserve awards for being decent people. We should be better because it's the right thing to do. However, humans are humans and tangible (if minimal) rewards are very motivating. If gold stars would ACTUALLY HELP CHANGE THINGS, why the heck not? I am willing to try something ridiculous if it makes a material, positive change in the world.

Also, let's not get over the top. This should be an entirely private reward system. Give yourself your gold star, feel good that you made a positive change in your life, and then move on to make another. No public sharing or accolades allowed.


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Cute! Roundup: Couch hugs, car raccoons, a giant moose, a duck named Einstein, and more!

Is it just me, or does it look like Gertie is hugging the couch? I always get super heart-warmed when she does this.


OTHER CUTENESS:

I'm not sure how I feel about bringing a raccoon in the car with you, but this raccoon trying to catch rain drops out a car window is adorable.

Sometimes the "If I fits, I sits" philosophy goes awry.

This is a bit more "whoa!" than "awwww!": look how BIG that moose is. It's huge!

A duck named Einstein goes for a swim.

Did YOU know wombats could be this adorable?


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Singalong! Worship by Lizzo

Do you know that Lizzo is the greatest? She's the greatest!


WORSHIP
by Lizzo

Oh, here it goes

I feel like fire, I feel like rain
I can take you higher, but you gotta earn it

Woo, I'm lit, don't mess with it
Woo, stand back, let me do my shit
Woo, I'm lit, don't mess with it

Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
And baby, worship me
Worship me
On your knees
Patiently, quietly, faithfully, worship me

Feel that lightning down in my soul
And if you wanna feel the thunder, baby
Better let me know
Let me know

Woo, I'm lit, don't mess with it
Woo, stand back, let me do my shit
Woo, I'm lit, don't mess with it

Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
And baby, worship me
Worship me (uh-huh)
On your knees
Patiently, quietly, faithfully, worship me

Oh, here it goes, okay
Stop and smell my roses, posies
Appreciate my poses, they know
I'ma fanfare like the star-spangled
I would say can you see my angles
'Cause I'm hotter than the, I'm hotter than the stovetop
You can put your kettle on, but I'ma make the thing pop
No, I ain't talkin' 'bout my word, just my work
You can add it all up while I'm beefin' up my purse

Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
(Make me believe it)
Hands to the sky, show me that you're mine
(Oh, yeah)
And baby, worship me (worship me)
Worship me (get it together, make it feel good)
On your knees
Patiently, quietly, faithfully, worship me



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Learning! Roundup: Batman gets things done, all the biases, respecting native cultures, and more!

Photo credit: Banjo Brown via Foter.com / CC BY

Batman Gets Things Done

Kids who have to do boring jobs focus better if they pretend they're Batman while doing them. Do you think this would work for adults too? Is Batman into data entry?

ALL THE BIASES!

I love Cognitive Biases! They're pretty much one of the funnest psychological concepts out there because they mess with our behaviour so much. Here are all the cognitive biases.

Respecting Native Cultures

Here's a great round up of 21 things you can do to be more respectful of Native American cultures. It's a pretty great series.

An Octopus Garden

Did you know that octopi have built a city underwater? THERE IS AN OCTOPUS CITY!!! Kind of cool.

Beer Storage

Did you know beer can go bad if you don't store it right? I did not.

Biological Sex Differences?

Some recent research on monkeys has revealed some differences between the sexes independent of the influence of a patriarchal human society.


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Blade Runner then and now: still sexist

Photo credit: Jonathas Scott via Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND

This summer, I watched Blade Runner for the first time. Now I have seen Blade Runner 2049.

First of all, if you're a huge Blade Runner fan, you can just write me off now: I didn't think the first movie was very good. Before your hackles get completely raised, YES the visuals were beautiful. I understand that they were some kind of advancement for the time. The look and feel of the world was quite something to behold.

It was also a little heavy-handed if you ask me. They really sacrificed storytelling in favour of sweeping imagery.

The movie also includes a straight-up rape that's passed off as seduction and that REALLY sucks. (He tries to kiss her, she resists and tries to leave, he stops her, pushes her against a wall so she can't move and makes her ask for a kiss and tells her to kiss him back like she means it before having sex with her. DING DING DING! That's a rape. Oh, but then she convinces herself that it was actually love and stays with him, as rape victims sometimes do to avoid facing the horrible thing that just happened to them, and so it's okay? NOPE.)

Blade Runner 2049 has some improvements.

The story is much much better. It actually makes sense! The acting is good! It deepens the question of what it means to be human in interesting ways.

The visual world is just as stunningly crafted, and since it uses modern special effects, is quite slick. They also manage the impossible task of having beautiful visuals while still moving the narrative forward. Progress!

The female characters even get to do some interesting things besides get raped. They have some element of agency. (Not too much though, don't worry!)

The background imagery of the world, though, is so objectifying of women it's just tiring. Most sweeping shots of the city include holographic ads for Coca-Cola and for some kind of sex service with a fully naked woman. Travel to another city and find giant statues of naked women. It's nipples, nipples everywhere! And why?

One could argue, perhaps, that the objectification is just a part of the dystopian nature of this future. Except that this "dystopian" future is basically our present, but without our prudishness towards nipples. This leads me to believe that the nearly all-male creator team simply wanted to throw some more boobs into the mix.

Also, I am a bit disappointed in my guy Ryan for perpetuating the narrative that the original movie's rape was part of a meant-to-be love story. I know you didn't write it, Ry Ry, but I still expected better of you.



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This Week in Church: Leaving and the Knights of the Templar

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church, we talked about leaving.

This has come up a lot lately. I think it's emerged in some way at least once a week for the past month. Is someone trying to tell me I should be leaving?

This week in church, we talked about the Knights of the Templar.

Here's something interesting: when the Knights of the Templar would get baptized, they would do it in their full armour, but they would hold their swords out of the water. (My attempt to confirm this via Google only confirmed that this is a thing people say, not that it's necessarily true. It's still an interesting thought experiment.)

The image is kind of striking: baptism by immersion is meant to symbolize your death to sin and resurrection in Christ. By keeping their swords outside the water, the knights are basically saying, "I will give all of me over to Jesus, except my sword. That's a sin I can't let go of."

So then, of course, this begs the question, if I were to be that honest with myself, what would I hold outside the water in my metaphorical baptism? What am I not willing to give up for God/love/my best self?


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Inspiration! Roundup: Do it wrong, progress, no assholes, and a whole bunch of eyeballs

This Week's "I want to go to there": Some big ol' street art.
Photo credit: Foter.com

Doing it Wrong

“You're doing it wrong.
But at least you're doing it.
Once you're doing it, you have a chance to do it better.
Waiting for perfect means not starting."
-Seth Godin

Go On

I came across this lovely image on this Reddit post. Would love to credit the original artist if anyone knows who it is.



No Assholes Allowed

Mostly I'm just enjoying hearing a Stanford professor use the term asshole so much.

Eye See You

Lucas Zanotto's short film is kind of delightful.


Feelings

I love this print from Secret Holiday & Co.




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Book Club: The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman

It's been a while since I read a Neil Gaiman book. Every time, it's like I've forgotten something about the beauty and imagination in his writing. Every time, it's like a precious gift.

(Time to make a choice: if you scroll beyond this photo, you're going to get some spoilers! SPOILERS!)


The Ocean at the End of the Lane is partially a fairy tale and partially Much Ado About Nothing. (Not in the comedy sense, or all the weddings, but because all the impact of the story is wiped out at the end and all this stuff happens, but it basically amounts to nothing.)

I almost don't know how to talk about this book.

At the beginning it is one of the saddest things I have ever read. A little boy has to move out of his bedroom into his sister's, because his family needs money and rents his room out to strangers. Nobody shows up to his birthday party. He gets a beautiful kitten who is his best friend, and then one of the tenants runs it over with his car and replaces it with a mean old cat and none of the adults see a problem with this because he still has a cat, doesn't he?

The story isn't about the boy's sad life being made happy again. Many, many more sad and even horrible things happen. He finds a friend who understands him and helps him and ultimately sacrifices herself for him. It's all still very sad.

Then he doesn't remember any of it. Sad in a different way.

There is so much sadness in this book, but it didn't make me sad.

I don't know what else to say (so why even bother writing this post? Good question.) Here are some quotes that I wanted to save as I was reading:





I spent so much time trying to have a picture of Gertie with the book.


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Hey look! It's an ad that is shaming people for being perfectly reasonable humans!

This ad just came up in my Facebook feed.


First of all, just because I am a female over thirty doesn't mean I am in the target market for mom stuff! Get with the program!

Second, are these people seriously serious? Not about their product, it's fine or whatever. A photo books app seems like a perfectly reasonable product idea. Go forth. It's the first 10 seconds of this ad that got my hackles up.

Are we seriously in a time now where printing one photo book for a year is PATHETIC? REALLY? Not to go all "back in my day" on you, but BACK IN MY DAY, we filled our photo albums over the course of YEARS. That's right. One album often contained YEARS worth of photos. You want to know why? Mostly because every photo you took cost money, so we would only take photos of actual important events. We didn't photograph every single freaking moment of our lives.

I get that we now take and share a bazillion photos because it's free and easy and if you don't claim your social media existence at least once a day you quite literally disappear into oblivion and nobody can find you ever again. But having printed copies? Of EVERYTHING? In books that you'll show your friend once and then put on a shelf and then you have so many stupid photo books on your shelf and you can't throw them out, because they are precious photos of your family, but you are running out of SPACE. All because this stupid ad made you feel bad for having "only" one photo book made in the year.

ONE PHOTO BOOK A YEAR IS PLENTY, YOU JERKS. STOP MAKING PEOPLE FEEL BAD FOR LIVING THEIR LIVES IN A PERFECTLY REASONABLE WAY.

(I mean, the mom in their ads is quite funny. I inadvertently went down a rabbit hole of watching their videos and she's pretty great. But just because she hilariously captures the joy of stress eating in a pantry doesn't mean she's RIGHT.)



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Happy Thanksgiving!

Not my handprint turkey art.
Photo by bnilsen. CC.

It's Thanksgiving in Canada!

Like much of Canadian history, the background of our Thanksgiving has a sort of lacklustre and muddled backstory that is often confused with American history. (In school, I'm pretty sure we did a lot of pilgrim-related crafting for Thanksgiving, even though that has nothing to do with the Canadian holiday.)

So, in case you were wondering (and I KNOW YOU WERE), here is the backstory to Canadian Thanksgiving:

For a very long time, there were a bunch of random feasts of thanksgiving to mark a whole bunch of different occasions: colonizers who almost died on their journeys and then didn't, the end of some wars, and a member of the monarchy getting over an illness. Yes, there were even a few shared feasts with some First Nations clans in there to celebrate the harvest.

Finally, it got to the point where thanksgiving-related festivals were happening pretty regularly, so they decided to make it a thing in 1879.

Of course, they still couldn't agree on a date. It shifted around a bunch until finally someone said, "Enough is enough! Let's stop being random. How about the second Monday in October, because that's around when harvest celebrations have been going on for lots and lots of generations?"

And everybody said, yes. Let's do that. So we did.

Now you know why. You're welcome.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!



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Cute! Roundup: #relaxationGoals, 10 baby pandas, the squirrel show, and more!

I think this photo should be hashtagged #relaxationgoals. Amiright?



OTHER CUTENESS:

10 baby pandas ALL IN ONE PICTURE! (Actually, all in several one pictures.)

Baby dolphins are fascinated by a squirrel.

This baby sloth looks so freaking happy! (Also, looking at those claws, the cuteness could 100% be a cover for something very sinister.)

Now THIS looks relaxing. Mmmmmmmmmm.

The headline on this one is puppy sees a tennis ball for the first time, but I think he's overdoing it a bit. Like when kids sneak a peek at their Christmas gifts and then go way overboard displaying how happy and surprised they are.


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Singalong! The Chain by Fleetwood Mac

It's just the perfect song for melodramatic singalongs and/or heartbreak.


THE CHAIN
by Fleetwood Mac

Listen to the wind blow, watch the sun rise
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies

And if, you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

Listen to the wind blow, down comes the night
Running in the shadows, damn your love, damn your lies
Break the silence, damn the dark, damn the light

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain (Never break the chain)

Chain keep us together (running in the shadow)



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Learning! Roundup: Mindful choirs, jerk-time, leisure time, and planet-ruining second cars

Photo source: Eglin Air Force Base

Make a Mindful Noise

Singing in a choir is good for you. Researchers have known this for a while, but they didn't know why. One reason that has emerged may be that choral singing boosts mindfulness, and as we all know, mindfulness is the wellness-catch all of the decade!

Why We Are All Jerks

This is my favourite quote about science: "Research also shows that technology has increased the 'asshole problem.'" Apparently people are getting jerkier because of technology. Well, crap.

It's Sort of Like Fish in a Barrel

If you're a penguin and you want to eat some fish, but you don't have a barrel to put them in and make things easier for yourself, you just team up with some friends and herd the fish all together into a ball near the surface. Then you eat your fill. Clever, clever penguins.

How Leisure Time Transformed Us All

As much as I am reticent to read any article that begins with a photo of Hugh Hefner (it is sad when any human person dies, and this fact does not make him a good man), this article on the emergence of leisure time is fascinating. Suddenly having free time created needs for new businesses and more involvement in politics - for those privileged to have leisure time.

Loss of Smell as Early Warning Sign

We may have another early warning sign of dementia: new research has shown that elderly people who could not identify common odours were more likely to develop dementia in the next five years.

The Second Car Problem

Thanks to psychology, we know that when people do good things we tend to think that earns us the moral space to do something selfish. This applies to car purchases, among other things. Those who bought hybrid or electric vehicles are more likely to buy a gas-guzzler for a second car as well as drive more. Let's all say it together: "No good deed gives me the right to do bad things. We are trying to make the world better, not even it out."

Tsunami Transformations

Tsunamis do more than destroy cities. They are bringing new species of sea life to our coasts, like Japanese sea stars showing up in Oregon.


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Taking Songs Too Seriously: The First Taste by Fiona Apple

Like most moody youths of the 90s, I listened to a lot lot lot of Fiona Apple. All those feelings!

Of course, I didn't even begin to grasp the sexy implications of her song The First Taste, but now I get to listen to it and be scandalized for my younger self, singing along to a song that couldn't more clearly be about sex.

Not to worry, though! Count on Fiona Apple to take this sexy, upbeat song and make a music video that is weird, awkward, and kind of depressing.


Part of it isn't her fault. It's the nineties. Just the clothes un-sexify the whole thing quite a bit.

I mean, look at the one woman in pink behind Fiona (the one who actually looks like she's into the dancing), she looks like she's wearing nurse's scrubs. I have nothing against nurses or scrubs, but they usually aren't worn in sexy dance parties.


Oh, sorry, were you distracted by the undercover cop trying to mask the fact that he's checking her neck for a tattoo by smelling her hair and then bopping his head to the music like the "cool kids do"? YEAH. ME TOO.

The video is full of guys coming up to Fiona and kissing or almost-kissing or smelling her. At best, the feeling they evoke is sweetness, like when a child kisses their auntie on the cheek and everyone goes "awwwww!" Mostly, though, they just look like they are marking out the movement out in a rehearsal, saving all their sexual energy for an actual take that they never did.


The other couples have some level of chemistry between them, but does this not look more like a mouthwash commercial than the sexy, partner-swapping make out party that this is supposed to be? Once again, it just feels kind of awkward and sweet.

(Kudos, however, on the multi-ethnic, not-just-heterosexual party! More evidence that the 90s had better diversity than we do today.)


If this were a quirky/sad indie movie about a girl who is forced to attend her birthday and try to pretend everything is okay right after she found out that her uncle died trying to save her puppy, who also died, I would believe it.


And then, later on in that quirky/sad indie movie, the girl disassociates completely from the party and contemplates killing them all.


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