Fixing "Baby, It's Cold Outside"

I have long despised the song "Baby, It's Cold Outside". Sure, the melody is lovely and the apparently cute back-and-forth can seem like the fodder for an adorable duet. But, just like the episode of Arrested Development where Michael and Maeby suddenly realize halfway in that "Afternoon Delight" isn't a duet suited to an uncle/niece karaoke performance, "Baby, It's Cold Outside" quickly shows us its dark underpinnings. These days, most people know it to be a weird, coercive song about a man trying to stop a woman from safely leaving.

If you still love the tune and it makes you sad to not be able to listen to it, fear not! I have recently come across TWO versions that, at least to a degree, fix it!

The first fix: She & Him

In this version, they gender swap the roles. While I in NO WAY advocate for some kind of reverse harassment where women can coerce men because "hahaha, women aren't scary!", I believe that in this case the swap is ultimately beneficial. Mostly because it serves as a commentary on the whole dynamic.

It's not a perfect fix, but if you like the fun of a duet, it'll do for now.

The second fix: Scott Bradley's Post-Modern Jukebox

They have eliminated the male voice all together! The song is completely transformed! Instead of being about a man pushing a woman to stay while she offers a multitude of reasons over why she should go, it actually feels like a song about a woman who wants to stay but feels like she should leave and is wrestling with her own indecision. (Which is what people always claim the song is actually about, and maybe it felt that way back in the day, but not times have a-changed.)

Or you could just leave it all behind!

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