Battle of the Dinosoars

I didn't know it was possible. I have just spent almost my entire morning standing over our photocopier. A very very old photocopier that is loud, squeaky, and slow. My brain is numb.

The sad part is, that this was not as bad as faxing a large document. Our fax machine is even slower than our photocopier (although thank the Lord of Accounting it's quieter), and it has trouble with its feeder. So I get to stand there and basically feed pages in one by one. I did a 28-page document yesterday and I swear it takes about a minute a page.

So let's have an Official Competition between these two unsightly beasts of office equipment. The categories are Speed, Grace, Noise, and Mental Distress of User.

Speed:
-Photocopier: very slow
-Fax: very very slow

Grace:
-Photocopier: a slight graceful quality to the way the sheets slide out of the machine, unless you're collating, then the trays jerk around like little spiders on crack.
-Fax: no grace, sheets are fed through in a very stilted, awkward manner

Noise:
-Photocopier: very very loud, sounds include squeaking with every sheet copied, clunking when printing on legal paper, trays jostling when collating, and general loud motor sounds
-Fax: pretty quiet overall, beeps to let you know it's done

Mental Distress of User:
-Photocopier: sometimes the feed misses pages and you never know when it will happen, sometimes jams and can ruin a document, less boredom due to the fact that user is actively assembling documents feeding them, taking staples out, etc etc and not just standing there waiting
-Fax: pure drudgery. Standing still and staring at pages slowly inch (nay, millimeter) their way through the machine, feeding them through so that they don't jam. You cannot leave or it will jam and you will have to start over. Also, it does not show reports on the screen so if you miss the "beep" notification you don't know if it went through.

Scoring:
-Speed: Fax wins!
-Grace: Fax wins!
-Noise: Photocopier wins!
-Mental Distress of User: Fax wins! (this was a close one, but boredom is a killer)

So there we have it, the fax has won. And by won I mean that it's the worst piece of equipment to use in this office. Hooray!

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