Andrea's Advice II

The second in my series of stealing questions from other peoples' advice columns and then answering them!  This is from Dear Mrs. Web.
My best friend wants to be a singer and she is really good. I 'm afraid that when we grow up, she might become famous and not remember me. What do I do?
You want to make sure your friend doesn't forget about you?  You have a couple of options.  The first is to pretend to support her career and subtly sabotage it.  This is easier than you might think.  Whenever she has a performance make sure to talk to any influential people who might be there about how great it is that she pulled it together to get onstage when just 5 minutes ago she was throwing up her Prozac overdose, but it doesn't really matter that the bulimia has blown out her vocal chords because she has a pretty solid back up track for when she performs.  Of course, that might actually convince someone to sign her faster... so then you're on to option number two.

Option number two is that you make yourself indispensable to her.  Become her manager and personal assistant.  Wrangle her back up talent.  Do whatever it takes so that she CAN NOT LIVE WITHOUT YOU.  Then she will stick with you forever.  The downside is that your life will become meaningless and unbearable and revolve completely around her.  You will no longer be friends, you will be her frustrated subordinate.

The third option is to trust that time will do its thing and she will become complacent and downtrodden.  She might dip her toe into trying to be a singer, but don't worry, she will give up at the first sign of resistance.  She will be plagued with insecurities that will prevent her from ever really trying.

Or you will slowly drift apart as inevitably happens with childhood friends and neither of you will do any of the amazing things you currently plan on doing with your lives.  Your life may end up being boring and a disappointment, but rest assured hers will too.  And it will be even worse for her because then she'll always think about the fact that she wanted to be a singer and now she's a receptionist who writes a blog to pass the time.  Take comfort in that.

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