Disastrous consequences approach

I get it. I get it now! Everyone else in the office is waiting to see what will crack the thin veneer of complacency I so desperately hold onto at this job by forcing me to use the crappiest pens in the office.

If this continues the result might be me explaining to a police officer in a desperate voice, "I was just trying to get my pen to work, I swear. Just trying... all I wanted was... penspensPENS!"

Ed. note: I found another good pen, for now disaster has been averted.

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