Friday, January 27, 2017

Oh Keto, why can't I quit you? (Oh wait, yes I can! BYE!)

I have a very, very, very exciting announcement. Please read the next sentence in a voice of operatic enthusiasm.

I quit keto! Eating bread is just so good.

I quit keeeetooooooooooooo!

Yes, that's right. I am a quitter. A QUITTER! And I couldn't be happier. I have actually been in a super good mood all week, and I attribute that to carbs.

Why did I quit with only one week to go in my month-long commitment?

Mostly because I hated it so so so much. Now, this is not entirely keto's fault. I am a vegetarian who is out from 9am-9pm at least 3 days a week, if not more, so I was set up for failure. Bringing enough keto-friendly food with me to last the entire day was not feasible, and there is precious little in the way of on-the-go keto food that is a) easy to find, b) quick to eat, and c) vegetarian. I simply was not eating enough.

Literally, when I'd go from work to dance class or a show, I wound up generally chowing down a cheese stick and then having a tea where half the cup was full of heavy cream so that I felt full. Then I'd get home and have a spoonful of peanut butter to cap off the day.

Not. Enough. Food.

Plus, I was getting really really really sick of the food I was eating, which is actually weird for me. I don't really get sick of food. I have eaten peanut butter nearly every single day for my entire life (which is why I am terrified that I will one day have a child who is allergic to peanuts - what a terrible choice this will be, between peanut butter and my child). I worked at a movie theatre for two years and never got sick of popcorn. I DON'T GET SICK OF THINGS.

Yet I would stare at my keto salad, full of things that I think are truly delicious, and just feel zero desire to eat it. I wasn't even excited to eat cheese. CHEESE!!!!!

Plus, I lost ten pounds. On one hand, great! I had put on about ten pounds in the past year through eating crap all the time. On the other hand, ten pounds in three weeks because you are miserable and not really eating? I don't know, it just didn't seem good. Or sustainable.

Now, I don't want to knock keto completely. For some people it's great. For my boyfriend's sister's husband (is there a better way to say that? Brother-in-dating? That sounds weird), it's really helpful. He has trouble identifying when he's full and stopping eating, and so a diet that reduces his desire to eat (while letting him chow down on bacon and other delicious things) is perfect. Great! It's obviously also great for people who are diabetic or (apparently) suffer from epilepsy or tumours. Great! Keto on!

Not me, guys. Not me.


(If you're curious, I still intend to eat relatively-keto for my breakfast and lunch - I won't count anything, but I'll stick to low carb, high fat foods. Since my boyfriend is still on the keto wagon, when we eat dinner together that will also be keto. I am also restricting my junk food intake, because that was truly out of control. But I now have freedom to eat so many other foods when I'm out and about, and I am SO EXCITED for sandwiches and poutine and popcorn and FRUIT.)


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