Let's make a love deposit, because I'm secretly sabotaging our relationship with my negativity

I recently read this article on treating your relationship like a bank account. Not in the sense of monetizing it (although, awesome?), but in "depositing" positive interactions, to make sure you don't run out.

The idea comes from Dr. John Gottman, basically the biggest expert in everything to do with relationships, and his theory that relationships that last have 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction.

So far, so good. This makes sense. Those little negative bits can add up, so why not be intentional about throwing some good stuff in there?

I was chatting with my own partner about this idea, when suddenly I realized something: me being secretly annoyed him COUNTS AS A NEGATIVE INTERACTION. He just doesn't know it's happening.

Well, bugger.

(Now this is reminding me of how Jesus said that murdering someone in your head is just as bad as murdering them in real life. That's one HUGE negative interaction that person doesn't know you've had. That relationship is doomed.)

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