Best joke ever.
But seriously folks, the rhythm method doesn't work. There have been known cases of women getting pregnant even whilst they are on their moon time, which many ladies think is impossible. Nothing is impossible with nature y'all. I mean, have you seen Jurassic Park? Nature always finds a way to make the most effed up thing happen. And what, I ask you, is more effed up than getting pregnant when you aren't planning on it? Maybe thinking that all the dinosaurs are ladies and won't get preggers but realizing instead that your genetic scientists didn't account for the variability society allows women in terms of gender roles and sexuality that is not allowed to fellas.
Why am I talking about the lamest form of birth control ever, you ask? Well, apparently a whole whack of teenagers think it's a good idea. Like 17% of teen girls who are sexually active. 17%? That's pretty close to the efficacy of the rhythm method! Okay, that's an exaggeration - the rhythm method (which is timing when you "do it" based on when your "aunt flo" is "coming to town" - I use quotation marks and awkwardly attempted vague lingo to mimic what teenagers might say because they are uncomfortable with real terminology which probably means they shouldn't be doing those things in the first place if they can't say them!) works more like 75% of the time. Which is really not that much when there's a baby on the line, y'all. Not to mention that I'm pretty sure it's 0% effective at blocking the venereal your man-whore boyfriend picked up from one of his many other escapades. Just sayin'.
Now I'm off to grumble about abstinence-only education and how it actually increases the number of teen pregnancies and disease-contractions.