I have a very special announcement to make. I have GROWN as a PERSON in the past 10 minutes. For reals.
I just got home this evening and went into the bathroom only to find I was about to be assaulted by another killer bug. Not a giant killer bee this time. No, this time it was a tiny spider that I thought was lint until it started moving. I am very proud to announce, however, that upon realizing I was in the presence of an Arachnid (also known as Evil Death Monster), I totally did not freak out! Seriously, I kept my cool COMPLETELY. It was a very zen moment.
I even paused and thought about allowing this poor little bugger to live - who am I to kill it just because it is a spider? It isn't its fault that it's an Evil Death Monster, it didn't ask to be born that way. Who knows, maybe it asked to be a unicorn and then fate was all "NO! Unicorns are passe! You shall be an Evil Death Monster!" and the spider-to-be was all "aw MAN! I so wanted to be a unicorn, they're all mystical and awesome" and then it cried a little bit at its tragic fate. And who am I to be judge, jury, and executioner in such a tragic tale as this?
Of course, then I realized that sadness turns to bitterness which turns to anger, and so this was an angry Evil Death Monster, and may also have leaping abilities. This made it extremely dangerously. So I calmly and cooly chose to kill it in a swift and humane manner. Thank goodness my slippers have rubber soles.
For people who want to learn, grow, get inspired, and stay silly.
The Definitive Clearing Up of Basic Psychology Terminology IV
Todays' term? Psychopath.
DUDES! People use this wrong all the time. The confusion here is kind of understandable. Psychopath sounds a lot like psychotic/psychosis. They are different. If someone's acting all crazy-like and seems to be a few guns short of an arsenal (note: please don't give psychotic people guns) then they are psychotic. It's a sort of generic, blanket term for someone who's nutso. Like how shoe is the generic, blanket term for something you stick on your feet before you leave the house.
Psychopathology is totes different, y'all. It's specific. Calling someone a psychopath when they're being psychotic is like calling all shoes lace-up ballet flats with sparkly trim or something. A psychopath is a person who, essentially, has no empathy and no conscience. They choose their behaviour based solely on the reward it will bring them and don't form any of those pesky human connections that make the rest of us do chump-like things that help others and not ourselves. They are scary as all h-e-double-hockey-sticks because there is NO WAY to recognize them before they are murdering you, stealing your money, sleeping with your wife, or whatever else they decide to do.
For reals. You know how people are always like "oh, he seemed like such a nice person!" when they find out their neighbour was storing body parts in their freezer? It's because psychopaths, while being devoid of real human connection, are so effing good at faking it that people naturally like them. They are super outgoing, friendly, smart, and interesting people. So much so that they are often the kind of person that people love to be around, a person that people will naturally trust. They are not all creepy, sitting off to the corner with dark eyes. They are smiling and laughing with you while they wonder if your home is soundproof enough for murder. Or whatever.
This is why, if you ever meet someone that seems really nice and that you naturally like right off the bat, run the other way. Only make friends with people who seem really shifty, because while they might also be wondering if your home is soundproof enough for murder, at least you won't have that sense of foolish betrayal when they try to do it. You'll be like "yes, I totally expected you to try to kill me because you were acting like you were a killer, this makes perfect sense" instead of "OH M G WHAT ARE YOU DOING I TRUSTED YOU!!!" It would make being murdered really suck.
DUDES! People use this wrong all the time. The confusion here is kind of understandable. Psychopath sounds a lot like psychotic/psychosis. They are different. If someone's acting all crazy-like and seems to be a few guns short of an arsenal (note: please don't give psychotic people guns) then they are psychotic. It's a sort of generic, blanket term for someone who's nutso. Like how shoe is the generic, blanket term for something you stick on your feet before you leave the house.
Psychopathology is totes different, y'all. It's specific. Calling someone a psychopath when they're being psychotic is like calling all shoes lace-up ballet flats with sparkly trim or something. A psychopath is a person who, essentially, has no empathy and no conscience. They choose their behaviour based solely on the reward it will bring them and don't form any of those pesky human connections that make the rest of us do chump-like things that help others and not ourselves. They are scary as all h-e-double-hockey-sticks because there is NO WAY to recognize them before they are murdering you, stealing your money, sleeping with your wife, or whatever else they decide to do.
For reals. You know how people are always like "oh, he seemed like such a nice person!" when they find out their neighbour was storing body parts in their freezer? It's because psychopaths, while being devoid of real human connection, are so effing good at faking it that people naturally like them. They are super outgoing, friendly, smart, and interesting people. So much so that they are often the kind of person that people love to be around, a person that people will naturally trust. They are not all creepy, sitting off to the corner with dark eyes. They are smiling and laughing with you while they wonder if your home is soundproof enough for murder. Or whatever.
This is why, if you ever meet someone that seems really nice and that you naturally like right off the bat, run the other way. Only make friends with people who seem really shifty, because while they might also be wondering if your home is soundproof enough for murder, at least you won't have that sense of foolish betrayal when they try to do it. You'll be like "yes, I totally expected you to try to kill me because you were acting like you were a killer, this makes perfect sense" instead of "OH M G WHAT ARE YOU DOING I TRUSTED YOU!!!" It would make being murdered really suck.
Some people are just pretentious and that's not okay
Some people think they are being very wise when they say things like "live each day like it's your last." I am here to posit that they are not being wise, but pretentious and wrong.
Evidence: if everyone lived every day like it was their last all anyone would do is tell each other off, have sex, spend all their money traveling, and eat food that probably will make this proverbial day their last. Is that the kind of world you want to live in? Really?
Actually... maybe it is. Think about it, it would be SO EASY to convince people to give you their life savings if they were living each day like it was their last. Think about it: "you might die tomorrow, so you should give me all your money." "Okay." Easy as pie.* And then the next day everyone would be all like "oh MAN I totally am still alive and have NO MONEY and a whole bunch of STIs and everyone is mad at me because I told them what I really thought of them and I tried to fly to Paris but the pilot thought he might be dead today so instead of piloting the plane he totally spent the whole flight drinking in the cockpit (insert dirty joke here) and now we're all plummeting to our deaths - hey wait, that actually worked out just like we planned!" And then everyone would be dead and I would be rich and all alone on the planet, making my wealth kind of pointless because why be rich if you can't buy expensive things in front of your poor friends while they drool from outside because the store is so fancy they aren't even allowed inside?
It would be like that apocalypse story I read in elementary school where one person survived some nuclear horror and then lives the rest of their life all alone eating left over groceries and trying to find creative ways to get their vitamins as the produce rots. Then they entertain themselves by watching all the movies that have been released on video (because this book was written before DVDs existed and ruined everything by paving the way for BluRay) because they don't even have to pay late fees anymore. But then they start to get lonely and find the one other person who is alive but they don't know if that person is a friend or foe, because that always happens with sole survivors so then things are really awkward and everyone can't decide if they should kill each other or procreate or what. I think in the book I read of this it was a young girl and then an older man and I really hope it didn't include any creepy sexy stuff because that's just wrong. Especially because this book was assigned reading.
So basically, what I'm saying is that it's not good to live every day as if it's your last because then you will all die and I will be all alone with a potentially creepy fellow-sole survivor and have nothing to do with my wealth but sit there and stare at it because I can get everything for free now anyways.
*FACT: pie is not actually very easy to make, but not as hard as most people think either. So why is it that a saying referring to something being super easy is actually something most people think is really hard but is actually moderately difficult? Answer me THAT universe.
Evidence: if everyone lived every day like it was their last all anyone would do is tell each other off, have sex, spend all their money traveling, and eat food that probably will make this proverbial day their last. Is that the kind of world you want to live in? Really?
Actually... maybe it is. Think about it, it would be SO EASY to convince people to give you their life savings if they were living each day like it was their last. Think about it: "you might die tomorrow, so you should give me all your money." "Okay." Easy as pie.* And then the next day everyone would be all like "oh MAN I totally am still alive and have NO MONEY and a whole bunch of STIs and everyone is mad at me because I told them what I really thought of them and I tried to fly to Paris but the pilot thought he might be dead today so instead of piloting the plane he totally spent the whole flight drinking in the cockpit (insert dirty joke here) and now we're all plummeting to our deaths - hey wait, that actually worked out just like we planned!" And then everyone would be dead and I would be rich and all alone on the planet, making my wealth kind of pointless because why be rich if you can't buy expensive things in front of your poor friends while they drool from outside because the store is so fancy they aren't even allowed inside?
It would be like that apocalypse story I read in elementary school where one person survived some nuclear horror and then lives the rest of their life all alone eating left over groceries and trying to find creative ways to get their vitamins as the produce rots. Then they entertain themselves by watching all the movies that have been released on video (because this book was written before DVDs existed and ruined everything by paving the way for BluRay) because they don't even have to pay late fees anymore. But then they start to get lonely and find the one other person who is alive but they don't know if that person is a friend or foe, because that always happens with sole survivors so then things are really awkward and everyone can't decide if they should kill each other or procreate or what. I think in the book I read of this it was a young girl and then an older man and I really hope it didn't include any creepy sexy stuff because that's just wrong. Especially because this book was assigned reading.
So basically, what I'm saying is that it's not good to live every day as if it's your last because then you will all die and I will be all alone with a potentially creepy fellow-sole survivor and have nothing to do with my wealth but sit there and stare at it because I can get everything for free now anyways.
*FACT: pie is not actually very easy to make, but not as hard as most people think either. So why is it that a saying referring to something being super easy is actually something most people think is really hard but is actually moderately difficult? Answer me THAT universe.
Mouse in the house!
As usual, the creepiest and most wonderful things I find on the internet come from Boing Boing. Here is a mouse made out of... an actual mouse? Yikes.
Find the original post here.
Gary Coleman, RIP
Gary Coleman died today. This is very sad news. He is best known for his role on Different Strokes and for the line (I think) "Whatcha talkin' 'bout Willis?" I, on the other hand, only really know him from Avenue Q. I'm not sure if it's disrespectful to reference this now that he's dead, because the show made him out to be a has-been, scummy landlord. Then again, I am clearly not all that concerned with being respectful on here. So with that in mind, here's my favourite Gary Coleman solo from Avenue Q, from the song "It Sucks to be Me."
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -
(Then everyone else sings things like "It sucks to be you!" and "You win! Your life is the worst!" and Gary does the thing where people talk instead of sing in the middle of the song:)
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.
You should listen to it here.
Gary Coleman, you will live on through your Avenue Q puppet. A loving and respectful mocking that I'm sure you thought was hilarious too, because you were cool that way. I assume.
I'm Gary Coleman
From TV's
Diff'rent Strokes
I made a lotta money
That got stolen
By my folks!
Now I'm broke and
I'm the butt
Of everyone's jokes,
But I'm here -
The Superintendent!
On Avenue Q -
(Then everyone else sings things like "It sucks to be you!" and "You win! Your life is the worst!" and Gary does the thing where people talk instead of sing in the middle of the song:)
Try having people
stopping you to ask you
"What you talkin' 'bout, Willis?"
It gets old.
You should listen to it here.
Gary Coleman, you will live on through your Avenue Q puppet. A loving and respectful mocking that I'm sure you thought was hilarious too, because you were cool that way. I assume.
Stuff Jesus Would Hate
I was trying to think of the next person I could write about the stuff they would hate, because I get absurd amounts of - WHOA. Okay. Post rerouted. I was just typing and all of a sudden my ear did this weird tinny thing and it sounded like a bad guy was approaching in a scary movie that's done in the even more scary way where eery silence is punctuated with jarring noises and I got all freaked out and looked around but there's no bad guys approaching from what I can tell, and since I'm in a small box office right now there aren't many places to hide (unless it's outside the window in which case OH MY WORD I CAN'T SEE OUT OF THE WINDOW VERY WELL BECAUSE THERE'S A METAL SCREEN THINGY AND IT'S DARK OUT!) so I think I'm safe but seriously, what just happened with my ear?* I got so distracted by it that I accidentally typed "intelligence" where I was going to type "enjoyment" - as in "absurd amounts of enjoyment", which really leads to the question of why, in times of panic my brain thinks of intelligence instead of enjoyment? Maybe it just shows that my brain is really really smart. Anyways, I deleted "intelligence" and then realized that this was a big deal and had a delayed "WHOA" reaction.
That's the end of my story. I hope you liked it. Maybe I will write about stuff Jesus would hate later?
*I think that may be my best run-on sentence yet. I am so proud of myself.
That's the end of my story. I hope you liked it. Maybe I will write about stuff Jesus would hate later?
*I think that may be my best run-on sentence yet. I am so proud of myself.
WHISTLERS OF THE WORLD I'M SORRY!
International Whistlers Week is almost over and I have yet to do a single THING to commemorate this occasion! I am so so so so sorry... I just don't even know what to say. This is huge. Okay, so to make it up to all the whistlers of the world, I am going to talk about some songs that have whistling in them.
The first one that springs to mind is "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. Now, I don't know if this is true because I've heard that it's not (after I heard that it is, obviously) but apparently the whole verse of whistling got inserted into the song because OTIS REDDING DIED before they finished that song. SERIOUSLY! It's totally might be true!
Okay, I'm going to google it to find out.
Okay, I've googled it and am on Otis Redding's wikipedia page.
Why didn't I just look up the wikipedia first?
OH MY WORD! It's actually true. This is amazing. Okay, well sort of true. What happened was that Otis Redding tragically died in a horrible horrible plane crash that only one person survived from which really sucks (although maybe he was just stranded on Lost this whole time? I don't know, I never watched that show, but I bet he was on it. Maybe now that the show's canceled he'll be back?), but it was a mere three days after recording that song. Old Otie totally meant to write lyrics to that verse later and then never got a chance to because he was dead/stuck on some weird tropical island where women are not fertile and so can have lots of sex with no repercussions (what about STI's y'all? Did the island also kill STI's?) and I don't know anything else that happens in that storyline.
So pretty much what I'm saying here is that Otis Redding is Lost. As in, he is the entire show. This is HUGE. And we never would have discovered it if it weren't for International Whistlers Week.
PS: Sorry for only talking about ONE song with whistling in it when I promised multiple songs with whistling, but don't you think figuring out that Otis Redding is not actually dead but is that stupid TV show that people get obsessed with, which I just don't understand because I refuse to watch it, is more of a big deal than listing multiple songs with whistling? No? Okay fine I will think of more songs with whistling except that I can't because that's the only one that matters. I assume that Simon and Garfunkel whistled at one point though. And also The Beatles because they did everything. There. Are you happy NOW? No? Well I'm not happy either, but I know how to deal with my deep and crippling sadness without taking it out on others.
PPS: Today is also cellophane tape day, but that's stupid and I refuse to recognize it because this is CANADA and we don't say cellophane tape, we say scotch tape, so STICK IT! (Ha! Get it? Stick it? With tape? HA!) Also, that really confused me the first time I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets because Ron sticks his broken wand back together with cellotape and I was all like "WTF is cellotape, that's crazy! Is it some special magical tape JK Rowling invented for Harry Potter's magical world?" and then my really wise friend was all "that's British for scotch tape" because she knows stuff, and then I was all embarrassed. Then I was just angry because why would JK Rowling write a beautiful, perfect world where wizards and witches exist and everyone lives in harmony except for one stupid evil guy but that's okay because he dies in the end (spoiler alert!) and then force magical people to use something stupid like cellotape to fix their magic wand? I mean, they have a juice that grows bones back, couldn't they have a juice that grows wands back? Seriously JK - what were you thinking?
The first one that springs to mind is "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay" by Otis Redding. Now, I don't know if this is true because I've heard that it's not (after I heard that it is, obviously) but apparently the whole verse of whistling got inserted into the song because OTIS REDDING DIED before they finished that song. SERIOUSLY! It's totally might be true!
Okay, I'm going to google it to find out.
Okay, I've googled it and am on Otis Redding's wikipedia page.
Why didn't I just look up the wikipedia first?
OH MY WORD! It's actually true. This is amazing. Okay, well sort of true. What happened was that Otis Redding tragically died in a horrible horrible plane crash that only one person survived from which really sucks (although maybe he was just stranded on Lost this whole time? I don't know, I never watched that show, but I bet he was on it. Maybe now that the show's canceled he'll be back?), but it was a mere three days after recording that song. Old Otie totally meant to write lyrics to that verse later and then never got a chance to because he was dead/stuck on some weird tropical island where women are not fertile and so can have lots of sex with no repercussions (what about STI's y'all? Did the island also kill STI's?) and I don't know anything else that happens in that storyline.
So pretty much what I'm saying here is that Otis Redding is Lost. As in, he is the entire show. This is HUGE. And we never would have discovered it if it weren't for International Whistlers Week.
PS: Sorry for only talking about ONE song with whistling in it when I promised multiple songs with whistling, but don't you think figuring out that Otis Redding is not actually dead but is that stupid TV show that people get obsessed with, which I just don't understand because I refuse to watch it, is more of a big deal than listing multiple songs with whistling? No? Okay fine I will think of more songs with whistling except that I can't because that's the only one that matters. I assume that Simon and Garfunkel whistled at one point though. And also The Beatles because they did everything. There. Are you happy NOW? No? Well I'm not happy either, but I know how to deal with my deep and crippling sadness without taking it out on others.
PPS: Today is also cellophane tape day, but that's stupid and I refuse to recognize it because this is CANADA and we don't say cellophane tape, we say scotch tape, so STICK IT! (Ha! Get it? Stick it? With tape? HA!) Also, that really confused me the first time I read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets because Ron sticks his broken wand back together with cellotape and I was all like "WTF is cellotape, that's crazy! Is it some special magical tape JK Rowling invented for Harry Potter's magical world?" and then my really wise friend was all "that's British for scotch tape" because she knows stuff, and then I was all embarrassed. Then I was just angry because why would JK Rowling write a beautiful, perfect world where wizards and witches exist and everyone lives in harmony except for one stupid evil guy but that's okay because he dies in the end (spoiler alert!) and then force magical people to use something stupid like cellotape to fix their magic wand? I mean, they have a juice that grows bones back, couldn't they have a juice that grows wands back? Seriously JK - what were you thinking?
SATC 2
Just watched Sex and the City 2 - yes at a midnight preview. Do I need to leave time for you to judge me again? Alright, judge away.... I feel like I let myself get judged a lot on here. I'm still kind of wired from all the girlie fun, despite the fact that it's 3am, so I'm going to write. Here's my quick-and-dirty (there's got to be some kind of Samantha joke there) review:
Mostly hilarious, cheesy in all the expected ways, LIZA MINELLI PEOPLE!, a few bad puns, some camp, lots of great outfits, waaaaaay better than the first movie.
Okay, now I'll see if I can't go to sleep. Ha!
Mostly hilarious, cheesy in all the expected ways, LIZA MINELLI PEOPLE!, a few bad puns, some camp, lots of great outfits, waaaaaay better than the first movie.
Okay, now I'll see if I can't go to sleep. Ha!
How To Have an Awkward High School Run-In
Walk into a used book store to get a book that you hope is still on the shelves from the last time you were there and got really excited to see it and almost bought it before looking at the price and thinking "$12 for a book from a used bookstore? I can get this on paperback for $10 at the Book Warehouse" and then leaving with a mixture of victory and shame.
Notice, as you walk straight to the theatre section (where you know the book lives) that some tall man-shaped person seemed to notice you as you walked by.
Think that you must be looking particularly stunning today as you just got checked out in a used book store.
From the theatre section try to check out the tall man-shaped person who seemed to notice you, but their back is turned so you can't tell anything about their appearance except that they remain to be tall and man-shaped.
Remind yourself that it's not sexist to call someone man-shaped because there are general differences in body shape and size between the sexes, and this is definitely of the man-specific variety.
Turn back to the shelf to look for the pretentious theatre theory book you want to read for fun and notice movement at your side that is probably the man-shaped person approaching you. Think that you must really be looking stunning because this man-shaped person seems to now be approaching you.
Feel really good about yourself and the fact that you have a new, open attitude towards dating and talking to people you don't know and everything. Remember how much more confident and self-assured you have been lately and think of how well the pending conversation is likely to go.
Hear the man-shaped person say something probably along the lines of, "hey."
Turn to look at them.
See that they are a dude you went to high school with.
Have nothing to talk about because you already pretty much know what each other is up to because even though you haven't talked in years, you're both on facebook and facebook has removed the possibility for catching up with old acquaintances in person, so instead you end up saying things like "I saw on facebook that you...." and the other person can't say much more than "yep, that's what I'm doing - oh facebook!" and then you both laugh awkwardly and linger for a few moments before he finds an excuse to leave the conversation.
Realize that instead of getting checked out and chatted up by a potentially attractive used-book store patron, you have been a part of what might as well have been a scene in one of those awkward romantic comedies where the main character undergoes a drastic transformation and this is the establishing scene to show how much of a social pariah she was in the beginning, and highlight how significant her journey will be in the end.
Feel that dirty feeling that awkward run-ins bring, wander around used book store for 10 minutes to try to shake it off before leaving without buying the book you came in for.
Notice, as you walk straight to the theatre section (where you know the book lives) that some tall man-shaped person seemed to notice you as you walked by.
Think that you must be looking particularly stunning today as you just got checked out in a used book store.
From the theatre section try to check out the tall man-shaped person who seemed to notice you, but their back is turned so you can't tell anything about their appearance except that they remain to be tall and man-shaped.
Remind yourself that it's not sexist to call someone man-shaped because there are general differences in body shape and size between the sexes, and this is definitely of the man-specific variety.
Turn back to the shelf to look for the pretentious theatre theory book you want to read for fun and notice movement at your side that is probably the man-shaped person approaching you. Think that you must really be looking stunning because this man-shaped person seems to now be approaching you.
Feel really good about yourself and the fact that you have a new, open attitude towards dating and talking to people you don't know and everything. Remember how much more confident and self-assured you have been lately and think of how well the pending conversation is likely to go.
Hear the man-shaped person say something probably along the lines of, "hey."
Turn to look at them.
See that they are a dude you went to high school with.
Have nothing to talk about because you already pretty much know what each other is up to because even though you haven't talked in years, you're both on facebook and facebook has removed the possibility for catching up with old acquaintances in person, so instead you end up saying things like "I saw on facebook that you...." and the other person can't say much more than "yep, that's what I'm doing - oh facebook!" and then you both laugh awkwardly and linger for a few moments before he finds an excuse to leave the conversation.
Realize that instead of getting checked out and chatted up by a potentially attractive used-book store patron, you have been a part of what might as well have been a scene in one of those awkward romantic comedies where the main character undergoes a drastic transformation and this is the establishing scene to show how much of a social pariah she was in the beginning, and highlight how significant her journey will be in the end.
Feel that dirty feeling that awkward run-ins bring, wander around used book store for 10 minutes to try to shake it off before leaving without buying the book you came in for.
I'm pretty sure I will have nightmares about this
The Handfish. It's a fish that walks on hand-like fins. Seriously. This is a missing link that I can just imagine crawling along my floor at night and up the side of my bed. Can you imagine waking up with this thing towering over you? Can you imagine dying on the spot before it has a chance to any evil, murderous-fish type things to you? I can. And don't try to tell me I'm safe because I don't live under water. If this is a fish that adapted to have feet, how do we know it doesn't also have lungs? Exactly.
The handfish will eat you and your babies. If you don't have any yet it will eat your future fertility. Which is pretty much inevitable once it eats you, if you think about it.
Via, as always, Boing Boing.
The handfish will eat you and your babies. If you don't have any yet it will eat your future fertility. Which is pretty much inevitable once it eats you, if you think about it.
Via, as always, Boing Boing.
Jessie Awards!
So many rad-tastic people make theatre in Vancouver, and the Jessie Richardson Theatre Awards help recognize... well, some of them. Sadly much of the awesome work slips under the radar of the Jessies, but tons of work made it as well!
My highlights:
A full list of the nominees can be found at The Province.
My highlights:
- Ryan Beil being nominated for everything. He is yummy and a good actor and I went to school with him.
- Lauchlin Johnston for his AMAZING set and lighting design for Refuge of Lies at PT (and it's not just because I work there)
- Sarah Rodgers for acting in The Project and directing Billy Bishop Goes to War. She is amazing. AMAZING!
- Lucia Frangione for Paradise Garden.
A full list of the nominees can be found at The Province.
Prime Minister #2: Alexander Mackenzie
Name: Alexander Mackenzie
Alive: January 28, 1822 – April 17, 1892
Reign: November 7, 1873 - October 9, 1878
Born in: Logierait, Scotland
Party: Liberal
Known for: Being the first Liberal PM ever, overseeing the completion of the Parliament buildings, introducing the secret ballot, building a bunch of railroads.
A hopeless romantic, ol' Alex came to Canada because he was in love with a girl whose family was moving here! He almost drowned after falling through frozen ice to see her once, but made it to her door, a shivering mouse of a man. I bet she warmed him up that night, alright. Someone needs to make a romantic comedy out of this, or one of those boring olden-times romance movies that people convince themselves is really good because of the corsets and petticoats and flowery language, but is really just full of violins telling you when to cry, and your eyes obey because they are stupid.
Another rags-to-riches story, Alex dropped out of school at 13 because his family was all poor and he was 3rd of 10 kids (talk about middle-child syndrome). He was a stonemason and newspaper editor until someone said "Dude! You should totally form a party and take down Sir Johnny!" And he did.
He was the J-Lo of Prime Ministers - no matter how successful he was, he was still Alex from the Block, used to have a little, now he's got a lot, no matter where he goes, he knows where he came from (from Scotland!) Seriously, he wouldn't even let them knight him. That's for reals. You could also liken him to Paul McCartney's Working Class Hero.
Was the first rider to have a dragon hatch for him, which is really the main reason why he defeated Sir John A. MacDonald.*
Hated being asked for money so much he had a secret second staircase (alliterative apologies) built out of the back of his office so he could escape anyone waiting to try to get some out of him.
Might be the reincarnated spirit of Alexander Mackenzie, the explorer. I mean, I'm pretty sure most reincarnated spirits don't have the exact same name, but COME ON! They were both Scottish! And the PM-version was born two years after the explorer-version died. Argue with that.
Argument: there were many other Scottish Alexander Mackenzies, including a violinist, architect, and an actor. And those are just the ones listed as Scottish on Wikipedia.
*I probably stole that from Eragon. There just aren't that many fun facts about his life. Work with me.
Looked a lot like Abe Lincoln, no? Pretty dreamy too, if you ask me.
Fun Facts:A hopeless romantic, ol' Alex came to Canada because he was in love with a girl whose family was moving here! He almost drowned after falling through frozen ice to see her once, but made it to her door, a shivering mouse of a man. I bet she warmed him up that night, alright. Someone needs to make a romantic comedy out of this, or one of those boring olden-times romance movies that people convince themselves is really good because of the corsets and petticoats and flowery language, but is really just full of violins telling you when to cry, and your eyes obey because they are stupid.
Another rags-to-riches story, Alex dropped out of school at 13 because his family was all poor and he was 3rd of 10 kids (talk about middle-child syndrome). He was a stonemason and newspaper editor until someone said "Dude! You should totally form a party and take down Sir Johnny!" And he did.
He was the J-Lo of Prime Ministers - no matter how successful he was, he was still Alex from the Block, used to have a little, now he's got a lot, no matter where he goes, he knows where he came from (from Scotland!) Seriously, he wouldn't even let them knight him. That's for reals. You could also liken him to Paul McCartney's Working Class Hero.
Was the first rider to have a dragon hatch for him, which is really the main reason why he defeated Sir John A. MacDonald.*
Hated being asked for money so much he had a secret second staircase (alliterative apologies) built out of the back of his office so he could escape anyone waiting to try to get some out of him.
Might be the reincarnated spirit of Alexander Mackenzie, the explorer. I mean, I'm pretty sure most reincarnated spirits don't have the exact same name, but COME ON! They were both Scottish! And the PM-version was born two years after the explorer-version died. Argue with that.
Argument: there were many other Scottish Alexander Mackenzies, including a violinist, architect, and an actor. And those are just the ones listed as Scottish on Wikipedia.
*I probably stole that from Eragon. There just aren't that many fun facts about his life. Work with me.
Disney is Educational, y'all!
I came across both of these from Boing Boing, apparently the original source is unknown. To be frank, I'm too lazy to look into it myself and am trusting the good folks of Boing Boing. Good to have someone point out how Disney is equally oppressive/stereotypical/full-of-terrible-advice for guys and girls. My favourites is the Beast (in his prince form, but I don't remember his name) "mmmmmmm, stockholm syndrom"
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