A friend of mine posted this on Instagram recently and it really hit home for me:
"People have sometimes told me I’m really good a being vulnerable. But can I clarify something? I think I am good at being transparent. Often when I share things that might typically be classified as vulnerable, I don’t feel that. I’ve worked through a thing, and I feel in control."
I have written about this in the past, including in my book, but my friend articulated it much better than I ever have with her distinction between vulnerability and transparency.
I will be transparent as heck about something that I've worked through or understood in some way. I'll share the silly things that make me cry on Instagram or unflattering stories or about my depression. I can discuss and share these things with an almost clinical detachment, because they are either not present for me or, as my friend said, I feel in control of them.
True vulnerability? Which is, by definition, sharing things that feel hard because they could hurt you? Yiiiiiiiiikes. That's a whole different story.
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!