Should You Tell Your Friend That Their Innocuous Action Made You Think of Sex? A Guide

Here's something that is CASE IN POINT for PART OF THE PROBLEM when it comes to women being sexualized at every turn, no matter what we do:
A friend of mine posted a photo the other day. It's a classic "pensive" shot, where you see the back of her head and her shoulders as she looks out at the ocean. In the caption, she shared about some of the challenges she's been facing. It was personal and vulnerable and the photo reflected the thoughtful nature of her post.

The first comment?

A male friend (or "friend," I don't know) of hers comments on how hot her shoulders look and says "I've always been a shoulders guy... also kneecaps."

I'm sorry, WHAT? Is that really a thought you needed to share? With someone who is being vulnerable about their emotionally challenging week? Do you think it will make her feel better to suddenly find herself being sexualized right now? "Sorry you're sad but I thought you should know that your shoulders make me think of sex." READ THE ROOM, BRAD.

Here's the thing: I don't care what your thoughts are doing. If you look at my shoulders and think of sex, whatever. That's a "you" thing. Unless we are in a sex-related situation, you definitely don't need to share that thought. (Also, just because you had a sexual thought doesn't mean a situation is sexual!!!!)
Excuse me, I need to go primal scream.

An animated gif video clip from the TV show Broad City. Twho young woman down a sidewalk and one of them stops and starts primal screaming in a crouch. The other turns to see what is going on and we zoom in on the screaming face.
Broad City

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