Talk Friendly to Me

Photo by Zoltan Tasi.

Have you tried saying nice things to yourself?

It's really hard. I taught myself how to do it when I was working through my depression, but honestly, I have let the skill slip in recent years. I just came across the best idea on how to approach it, though.

On this subreddit I frequent, TrollX Chromosomes (it's a wonderful place if you like snarky feminist memes), someone posted this:

"Inside my head I usually feel like there's two best friends living in there, and for a few years now they've had a really good relationship. When negative thoughts start, it's usually one of them saying it - and the other hugs and comforts her.

Isn't that just beautiful?

The other night I tried it. I was trying to sleep and my brain kept going over some work I didn't get done that day. I imagined a second person in there saying, "You worked hard today and have lots of time tomorrow. You did good. You can rest now." Then she gave my brain a hug.

It worked! The little obsessive monster side of my brain felt like it was heard and I relaxed and went to sleep.

I love this little hack. One of the hardest things about being nice to yourself when you are feeling down or negative is that, well, you're feeling down or negative. Having an imagined "other" inside of you (who is really just another part of you) makes it easier to let those comforting words come out.

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