Spoiler alert: this is not a rom com where they wind up in love.
Finding out that a guy was dating you, not because he liked you, or even thought he might like you if he got to know you, but because of a dare from his friends to "pull a pig", or have sex with a fat girl, is pretty much the worst thing.
Or is it worse to publicly share your experience and then have a bunch of men come at you on Twitter to tell you that it's your fault because you are fat and disgusting and you should "fix yourself"?
"Dating as a plus-size woman, you see, is an exercise rooted more in patience and frustration than in romance. When you are not being ignored by prospective interests, you are either subjected to humiliation and abuse or you are fetishised for your weight. Either way, the abject failure to consider the feelings of the plus-size women in these situations is just another example of the ways in which we are not afforded the luxury of being treated as human beings...
I like to think that I’m confident enough and maybe numb enough to the whole experience and haven’t let it define me as a woman, but for those of us who are still on our journeys to finding self love and increasing our confidence, going through an experience where you are basically seen as an experiment can be battering."
It's things like this that leave me dumbfounded at humanity. We can be so kind, so generous, so caring, and then turn around and be so unbelievably cruel.
How can a guy go through TWO WHOLE DATES with someone, where they talked about all the first- and second-date things, sharing a light version of their life histories, families, where they are from, what they want out of life, favourite type of cheese... how can you listen to all these things from a someone and not see that they are an actual, human person?
I know, I know, it's from the evil magic called dehumanizing that we all seem to be capable of given the right circumstances. People have done it with whatever group they want to hate - or more likely, profit off of in one way or another.
I just really hate it.
We're going into a dark place here, folks, and the only light I can see at the end of this eternal tunnel is to remember that as horrible as people can be, we can also be so, so wonderful, and then just hope (HOPE) that it all balances out in the end.
Sign up for my email newsletter for a weekly digest and bonus content!