Kissing is Weird

For the first time in my life, I have to do a stage kiss.  This is kind of bizarre, as I have been acting in one way or another since high school, and most people get at least one or two stage kisses in there when they're young, but I didn't.  I pretty consistently get cast as a matronly older lady, and I have stopped asking myself why for fear of what it will do to my fragile ego.  At any rate, this time around I'm doing some kissing.  

Let me tell you, if you've never done it, kissing someone who you have no feelings for whatsoever and aren't even really attracted to is super weird.  The presence of a director telling you precisely what to do while you're lip-locked actually makes things slightly less weird, but it's still weird.  It's got me thinking about how weird the activity of kissing is in the first place.  I mean, the pure mechanical activity is to smoosh your lips against someone else's for an indeterminate amount of time.  Then sometimes you say "you know what, this lip-smooshing isn't enough for me.  I'm going to shove my tongue in this mouth and smoosh our tongues together!"  I mean, really.  Weird.  When we get invaded by aliens, you try explaining it to them, because I've given up.