My roommate is having a photoshoot in the living room with his man-crush friend. Over the strains of "Take it Easy" and other easy-listening motel room classics, I hear him murmur the following using a voice one might call "dulcet":
"I'll just ... adjust your shirt..."
"Now to pleasure you."
"I just want to get it perfect."
"It's surprising I'm having such a hard time with this."
"A little bit closer to me. Little more. Little more. Good."
"The more you pay the deeper it goes."
"Okay, one last safety."
"You see what I was doing there?"
"Let's go back and try one more."
"Are you okay with that? ... I need to know!"
"Let's take one of me!"
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