OTHER CUTENESS:
Alllllll tuckered out.
This dog gives the highest of fives.
Listen, you do you.
The littlest of fists to bump.
Birdie's got some emotional range.
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For people who want to learn, grow, get inspired, and stay silly.
Cute! Roundup: Tuckered Pups, High Fives, Unconventional Cuddles, and More!
Isn't my friend's dog the cutest??? We were playing DnD and she just had to join us!
OTHER CUTENESS:
Alllllll tuckered out.
This dog gives the highest of fives.
Listen, you do you.
The littlest of fists to bump.
Birdie's got some emotional range.
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OTHER CUTENESS:
Alllllll tuckered out.
This dog gives the highest of fives.
Listen, you do you.
The littlest of fists to bump.
Birdie's got some emotional range.
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Singalong! Me and My Husband by Mitski
Do you know MITSKI? She is SO GREAT! You should definitely be checking her out. This is one of my favourite songs of hers.
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ME AND MY HUSBAND
by Mitski
I steal a few breaths from the world for a minute
And then I'll be nothing forever
And all of my memories
And all of the things I have seen will be gone
With my eyes, with my body, with me
But me and my husband
We are doing better
It's always been just him and me
Together
So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We're sticking together
And I'm the idiot with the painted face
In the corner, taking up space
But when he walks in, I am loved, I am loved
Me and my husband
We are doing better
It's always been just him and me
Together
So I bet all I have on that
Furrowed brow
And at least in this lifetime
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We're sticking together
Me and my husband
We are doing better
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Learning! Roundup: We Want to Protect Nature When It's a Woman, Nightmare Pills, and More!
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| Photo by Chris Gill. |
Protect Mother Nature
Anthropomorphizing the earth as a woman makes people feel more protective towards her and spurs them to more environmental attitudes. On one hand, I like that there is a nice way to get people on side with protecting the earth, on the other hand, it's clearly rooted in the ol' patriarchy that tells us women need protections. Sigh. I guess just this once, the patriarchy might save the human race.
This one falls into the category of things that are terrifying, but that allegedly should not be: scientists have developed a pill full of tiny needles that can replace injections. Painlessly, apparently.
Sharia Law
The video series The Secret Lives of Muslims is awesome, and here is a great one explaining what Sharia Law really is, which is apparently a standard of living that has to do with how you, as an individual, interpret the law, treat others, and generally live. Very educational.
Gender Discrimination Hurts Men, Too!
A new study confirms that dividing work into blue jobs and pink jobs is bad for everyone. In a replication of the studies where they submit resumes to a job posting where the only difference is the sex of the applicant (usually communicated by the name), it was shown that men got fewer calls for traditionally female jobs (housecleaning or HR roles). This is the issue, folks! The patriarchy hurts us all!
Universal Income
A new trial on giving out a universal income (where the government just hands out money to everyone) shows that it doesn't reduce employment. In Finland, they tried out giving 2000 people on unemployment a basic income instead (the difference being that unemployment wages reduce or go away when you earn income from other sources) and found that those people worked the same amount as those who stayed on unemployment, and had less health issues.
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This Week in Church: Believing and Collectives
Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.
This week in church we talked about believing.
We talked about the concept of belief not being a concrete knowing, but more of an active thing where you move towards a certain thing. How belief does not need to be the absence of doubt, and it's more like believing into something than just believing in something.
This week in church we talked about the collective "I."
There are some situations where we are not just an individual, but part of a collective, and then we get to draw strength from the collective when we need it. For example, when we say "I believe" in the Apostle's Creed, we are stepping into a long line of people in a tradition who have said these words - a collective "I."
It's like the dynamic between couples or good families: sometimes one person might be struggling, sick, or not firm in their convictions, and the others can pick it up for them.
These two concepts combined give you the ability to say, "I don't really know what I believe right now, but I want to move in that direction, can you help carry me with your belief?"
That's kind of neat.
This week in church we talked about limiting beliefs.
What beliefs do we have that are limiting us? Can we see what it's like to trade them in for other, broader beliefs that give us more freedom?
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This week in church we talked about believing.
We talked about the concept of belief not being a concrete knowing, but more of an active thing where you move towards a certain thing. How belief does not need to be the absence of doubt, and it's more like believing into something than just believing in something.
This week in church we talked about the collective "I."
There are some situations where we are not just an individual, but part of a collective, and then we get to draw strength from the collective when we need it. For example, when we say "I believe" in the Apostle's Creed, we are stepping into a long line of people in a tradition who have said these words - a collective "I."
It's like the dynamic between couples or good families: sometimes one person might be struggling, sick, or not firm in their convictions, and the others can pick it up for them.
These two concepts combined give you the ability to say, "I don't really know what I believe right now, but I want to move in that direction, can you help carry me with your belief?"
That's kind of neat.
This week in church we talked about limiting beliefs.
What beliefs do we have that are limiting us? Can we see what it's like to trade them in for other, broader beliefs that give us more freedom?
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Pretend You've Already Won
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| Photo by Wesley Eland. |
Do you find yourself choking under pressure a lot? Or even a little?
I generally find that when the pressure is on, I am able to stay focused on what matters, but I still love this mental trick to keep cool when it matters most: pretend that you've already won and that you are fighting to keep the prize.
In a recent study, people who did this not only performed better on a test, but their brains were less likely to go into a stress-out zone that impedes performance.
This is very similar to the "pretend you're good at it" or "pretend you are happy to be here" trick that can help people do things they never thought they were able to do, including become happy to be somewhere.
Things like this always make me wonder how many abilities are locked up inside me, just waiting for me to believe in myself. Like little Tinkerbells that die when someone says they don't believe in fairies.
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Inspiration! Roundup: The Nanny is a Modern Artist, Being You, Being Tender, and More!
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| This Week's "I want to go to there": It's supposed to snow again this week and the only time I can enjoy that experience is if I'm in a cabin in the woods where I have no other responsibilities. Let's go! Photo by Roberto Nickson. |
The Nanny's a Modern Artist
Some brilliant soul noticed that The Nanny's bold outfits are clear odes to modern art pieces, and created an Instagram account to demonstrate it. I love it! I love having an idea and making a random thing to go with it, and I love the connection being made in the first place.
Being You
what about this theory. the fear of not being enough. and the fear of being 'too much.' are exactly the same fear. the fear of being you.
-@nayyirahwaheed
Tender
This is a piece by Jenny Holzer at the Tate Modern posted by baileye.
Lessons
A collection of lessons people learn too late in life:
1. Everything is temporary.
2. Life is not fair.
3. Others treat you the way you treat yourself.
4. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work.
5. Beneath anger is always fear.
6. Family are the people who truly love you.
7. Things don’t matter that much.
8. A lifetime is not very long.
9. You played it too safe. You should take more risks.
-Guardian of Light
Which one is hitting you in the gut right this instance? For me, it's number 7.
Bodies in Space
Rob Woodcox makes beautiful photography composites of nearly-naked bodies doing unlikely things in space. I like it.
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Recommended Read: Finding Out Someone Dated You On a Dare
Everyone should read this article, I Found Out a Guy Was Dating Me On a Dare.
Spoiler alert: this is not a rom com where they wind up in love.
Finding out that a guy was dating you, not because he liked you, or even thought he might like you if he got to know you, but because of a dare from his friends to "pull a pig", or have sex with a fat girl, is pretty much the worst thing.
Or is it worse to publicly share your experience and then have a bunch of men come at you on Twitter to tell you that it's your fault because you are fat and disgusting and you should "fix yourself"?
It's things like this that leave me dumbfounded at humanity. We can be so kind, so generous, so caring, and then turn around and be so unbelievably cruel.
How can a guy go through TWO WHOLE DATES with someone, where they talked about all the first- and second-date things, sharing a light version of their life histories, families, where they are from, what they want out of life, favourite type of cheese... how can you listen to all these things from a someone and not see that they are an actual, human person?
I know, I know, it's from the evil magic called dehumanizing that we all seem to be capable of given the right circumstances. People have done it with whatever group they want to hate - or more likely, profit off of in one way or another.
I just really hate it.
We're going into a dark place here, folks, and the only light I can see at the end of this eternal tunnel is to remember that as horrible as people can be, we can also be so, so wonderful, and then just hope (HOPE) that it all balances out in the end.
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Spoiler alert: this is not a rom com where they wind up in love.
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| Giphy |
Finding out that a guy was dating you, not because he liked you, or even thought he might like you if he got to know you, but because of a dare from his friends to "pull a pig", or have sex with a fat girl, is pretty much the worst thing.
Or is it worse to publicly share your experience and then have a bunch of men come at you on Twitter to tell you that it's your fault because you are fat and disgusting and you should "fix yourself"?
"Dating as a plus-size woman, you see, is an exercise rooted more in patience and frustration than in romance. When you are not being ignored by prospective interests, you are either subjected to humiliation and abuse or you are fetishised for your weight. Either way, the abject failure to consider the feelings of the plus-size women in these situations is just another example of the ways in which we are not afforded the luxury of being treated as human beings...
I like to think that I’m confident enough and maybe numb enough to the whole experience and haven’t let it define me as a woman, but for those of us who are still on our journeys to finding self love and increasing our confidence, going through an experience where you are basically seen as an experiment can be battering."
It's things like this that leave me dumbfounded at humanity. We can be so kind, so generous, so caring, and then turn around and be so unbelievably cruel.
How can a guy go through TWO WHOLE DATES with someone, where they talked about all the first- and second-date things, sharing a light version of their life histories, families, where they are from, what they want out of life, favourite type of cheese... how can you listen to all these things from a someone and not see that they are an actual, human person?
I know, I know, it's from the evil magic called dehumanizing that we all seem to be capable of given the right circumstances. People have done it with whatever group they want to hate - or more likely, profit off of in one way or another.
I just really hate it.
We're going into a dark place here, folks, and the only light I can see at the end of this eternal tunnel is to remember that as horrible as people can be, we can also be so, so wonderful, and then just hope (HOPE) that it all balances out in the end.
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Feeling Insecure About Feeling Better
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| Photo by Sabrina Miso. |
This week is the launch party for my book, Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself.
Whenever people ask me how I feel about it, I don't quite know what to say. Generally, it oscillates between being completely surreal and more of a project/to-do list than a thing I get to just reflect on and be excited about (although those moments do happen - like when I got to unbox my first copy of the book).
Here is one thing I have had trouble articulating so far: how counterintuitively insecure publishing a book about learning to like yourself can make you feel. If there was ever a time I needed to read a book like Feeling Better, it's while publishing the book Feeling Better.
At times, feeling like this has made me wonder if I am a fraud. If I shouldn't have even published the book. If I should send everyone their money back and say, "sorry, folks! This was a big, dumb, experiment and it turns out that I am insecure, too, so you shouldn't read my advice!"
Of course, I don't think that's actually true. The "better" in the title Feeling Better is not meant to mean that I am all better. It's not saying, "things are better now, it's done! Mental health and perfect self-love achieved!" It's more of an incremental "better: it's improvement, or being better than I was before. It's a journey of continually feeling better.
Plus, expecting a person who wrote a self-help book to never, ever struggle with their self-image seems a little unrealistic.
So instead, I am sharing with you this truth: even the writer of the book Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself needs some help feeling better about herself once in a while.
We're all in this together, my friends.
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Cute! Roundup: Baby Deer Joy, a Dog and His Bestie, Cat Engagement Photos, and More!
I love her little pile of paws when she sleeps. So cute!
OTHER CUTENESS:
A baby deer comes to say hello!
Then and now: a dog and his bestie.
The caption makes this the cutest: this is what cat engagement photos would look like.
Mama corgi watches over her sleeping pups.
A roundup of dogs being the most perfect weirdos on the planet.
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OTHER CUTENESS:
A baby deer comes to say hello!
Then and now: a dog and his bestie.
The caption makes this the cutest: this is what cat engagement photos would look like.
Mama corgi watches over her sleeping pups.
A roundup of dogs being the most perfect weirdos on the planet.
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Singalong! Roundup: The Impression That I Get by The Mighty Mighty Boss Tones
Remember SKA? Oh yeah, baby!
Also - wow, this song is basically just a bunch of dudes being like, "hey, nothing hard has ever happened in our lives, things have been very easy." Not the usual tac people take in their songwriting, but I appreciate the honesty.
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Also - wow, this song is basically just a bunch of dudes being like, "hey, nothing hard has ever happened in our lives, things have been very easy." Not the usual tac people take in their songwriting, but I appreciate the honesty.
THE IMPRESSION THAT I GET
by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones
Have you ever been close to tragedy
Or been close to folks who have?
Have you ever felt the pain so powerful
So heavy you collapse?
No, well
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII've
Never had to (Knock on wood)
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get
Have you ever felt the odds stacked up so high
You need a strength most don't possess?
Or has it ever come down to do-or-die?
You've got to rise above the rest
No, well
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII've
Never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get
I'm not a coward, I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was I would pass
Look at the tested, and think "there but for the grace go I"
Might be a coward, I'm afraid of what I might find out
Never had to knock on wood
But I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to knock on wood
And I'm glad I haven't yet
Because I'm sure it isn't good
That's the impression that I get
Never had to, but I'd better knock on wood
Cause I know someone who has
Which makes me wonder if I could
It makes me wonder if
I've never had to - I'd better knock on wood
Cause I'm sure it isn't good
And I'm glad I haven't yet
That's the impression that I get
 |
| Giphy |
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Learning! Roundup: Jump Off a Cliff to Make More Friends, Abortion Impacts, Self-Aware Robots, and More!
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| Photo by Sergio Souza. |
All Your Friends Are Jumping Off a Cliff
A new study shows that teen boys are more likely to take risks if their peers are doing so (this is already known) and that the ones who conform to their pals' risk-taking have more friends. I mean, we've all had to wait on the other side of the street for the friend who wouldn't run across with the rest of us, and it is a dull time, so it makes sense.
Unexpected Impact of Abortion
A new study looks at the impacts of abortion availability on children's lives. It looked at households where a woman sought and was denied an abortion and the impact on the lives of the children she already had as well as that child, in comparison to households where a woman got to have her abortion. It found that the children of women who are denied abortion are more likely to live in poverty and have difficulty bonding with their child, and that women who received abortions were likely to have a planned pregnancy within the next five years, when they were ready.
The Robopocalypse Approacheth
A self-learning robot has now been able to figure out what it looks like. It started like an infant, not knowing what it could do or what limbs it had, moving around at random. Then it figured out its own structure, through this flailing.
Get Physical
Aerobic exercise is good for our brains! It improves our reasoning, problem-solving, and prevents decline in adults, young and old.
Gut Bacteria and Depression
The gut biome is such a cool thing, and it seems to impact our whole entire bodies and our brains. Now they have found that depressed people seem to be missing a particular gut bacteria. It's a correlation, of course, but another cool one in the gut-brain superhighway.
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Buy the Cheap Thing First
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| Photo by Alice Donovan Rouse. |
I love this advice! It goes against traditional notions of saving money and stuff, but makes complete sense: if you are trying something for the first time and need to buy equipment or gear, buy the cheap stuff first.
Usually, smart, sustainable thinking goes in the opposite direction: quality is (generally) more expensive up front, but cheaper in the long run. Buying cheap crap wears out faster, contributes to landfills and corporate greed, and costs you way more as you replace your sixth pair of $20 leggings when a $90 pair would still be with you. The ideal is often to buy the best quality item you can possibly afford.
When it comes to something you are trying out, however, be it a sport, cooking technique, or techno-hobby, you don't even know if you like it yet, let alone what particular type of gear will be best for you. Plus, as a newb you are more likely to accidentally destroy your stuff because you don't know what you're doing. How heartbreaking to destroy a $300 tricked-out hiking backpack when you could have destroyed a $20 pack - or to have it sit in your closet after one disastrous backpacking trip where you decided you hate the sport?
Eventually, you'll know if you actually like this hobby and will stick with it, as well as what features you might actually need in your fancy, expensive gear (or you'll learn that, in this particular case, the cheap stuff is just fine, bonus!). Plus, you've had a bit more time to save up for the good stuff.
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This Week in Church: Tradition, First and Lasts, Getting Old
Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.
This week in church, we talked about tradition.
Stepping into a tradition can be like stepping into a stream - there is a whole history there to carry you forward. Where did that stream come from, and where is it going?
It's worth noting that when we step into the stream of a tradition, we are now a part of the whole history of that tradition: the good and the bad.
For example, the history of the Christian church in Canada includes some wonderful things, as well as racism, residential schools, and sexual assault. If you step into that stream, you now have to own all of that history, which includes repenting for and taking responsibility for things you may not have done.
This week in church, we talked about firsts and lasts.
You're never the first and you're never the last. When we go through hard things (or great things, really), we are never the first person to have that pain, that difficulty, or that suffering. We also won't be the last. This could be rather depressing, but think of it this way: you are not alone. You come from a long line of people who have grappled with these very same questions. This is a tradition that can carry you forward.
This week in church, we talked about getting old.
The things we do over and over again get written into our bodies. When we get old, those habits (traditions) will return to us. That's why people who have very little memory left can still knit for days or sing the hymns they sang every Sunday for their whole lives.
When we are ageing, what do we want to be the pathways/traditions/prayers that are written in our bodies?
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This week in church, we talked about tradition.
"Tradition is not to preserve the ashes, but to pass on the flame."
-Gustav Mahler
Stepping into a tradition can be like stepping into a stream - there is a whole history there to carry you forward. Where did that stream come from, and where is it going?
It's worth noting that when we step into the stream of a tradition, we are now a part of the whole history of that tradition: the good and the bad.
For example, the history of the Christian church in Canada includes some wonderful things, as well as racism, residential schools, and sexual assault. If you step into that stream, you now have to own all of that history, which includes repenting for and taking responsibility for things you may not have done.
This week in church, we talked about firsts and lasts.
You're never the first and you're never the last. When we go through hard things (or great things, really), we are never the first person to have that pain, that difficulty, or that suffering. We also won't be the last. This could be rather depressing, but think of it this way: you are not alone. You come from a long line of people who have grappled with these very same questions. This is a tradition that can carry you forward.
This week in church, we talked about getting old.
The things we do over and over again get written into our bodies. When we get old, those habits (traditions) will return to us. That's why people who have very little memory left can still knit for days or sing the hymns they sang every Sunday for their whole lives.
When we are ageing, what do we want to be the pathways/traditions/prayers that are written in our bodies?
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