Does anyone else find summer solstice to be the most depressing day of the year?
The world has been getting lighter and brighter for six whole months, and we have just entered the carefree days of summer where, even if we don’t have jobs that give us summer breaks, the bright mornings and prolonged evenings give a feeling of lightness and mental holiday.
Then, right when we start to enjoy it, BAM! Get ready for the darkness to begin closing in once again.
Sure, you could go out and enjoy the sun while it lasts, but what’s the point? It’s already fleeing from you. Now every day, every moment, that passes, somewhere inside your body, you know that the world is getting darker and colder. Just to remind you of your slow, inevitable march towards death, the sun begins withdrawing from your life.
Sigh.
(There’s no way I’m being overly dramatic with this, is there?)
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This may be the creepiest bathroom advertisement I've ever seen in my life.
In case you're confused (I was), or the glare is making it hard to decipher, that is a pair of eyes peering out in the darkness, with the words "Feeling in the dark about your vaginal symptoms?"
UMMMMMMMMMMM, WHAT?
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The music video for this song reminds me of Rex Morgan from Empire Records. It's like a parody of 80's symbolism and flouncy pirate shirts. The effects! The meaningful shots of birds! The sheer volume of emotions in Gowan's face!
Despite everyone's love for hating on selfie-taking Millenials, a new study shows that selfies are not necessarily narcissistic. According to researchers, people take selfies for three general reasons: communication (a way to start conversation with family and friends), recording their life (and instead of showing you the pics in person, they just share them online), and finally, self-promotion. That last group are the narcissistic ones, the other two don't match with narcissistic personality traits, and most people fall into the first two camps. Motherhood and Self-Esteem
Yoga may help prevent cognitive decline. A recent study shows that women who practiced yoga regularly had greater cortical thickness, previously linked with language and memory. First, remember that this is a correlational, not experimental study. Second, note that they only had 42 participants. Finally, keep in mind that meditation has been shown to increase prefrontal cortex activity, so that may be the cause. Of course, there are other studies showing that memory improved in elders who learned yoga, so all signs point to yoga!
Here's something: I was recently going through some old posts, and as I chuckled at the stuff I used to write (it's okay to think you're funny, right? Or to think that you used to be funny? I'm allowed to appreciate my own writing, aren't I?????), I realized something: I used to write a lot of little, one-off, observational-type posts. It was fun! I thought they were funny and I still do!
I don't really do that anymore.
So then I thought, 'Hey, I should do that more. It was fun. I'll make a little image to go with my little quickie posts.'
In a flash of genius, I decided to call them "mini-posts" and use a post-it for the image (because post-its are basically mini posts! Get it? HILARIOUS!)
So I drew this, complete with a little doodle of my curly-haired self peaking out the bottom of the note.
I realized two things:
1) This is a terrible, boring image.
2) My hair is giving us all the finger.
Sorry.
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What a beautiful portrayal of a couple that loves each other in an incredibly simple, real way. They don't know what's going on with their lives, but they know that they want to figure it out together. They are committed, funny, and enjoy each others' company, even when their lives are a mess.
Guess whose relationship did NOT look like that when she went to see the movie? This girl! I saw this movie with my boyfriend at the time, and afterwards tried to express what they had that we seemed to be missing. He didn't get it.
500 Days of Summer
This gem was the perfect display of a relationship that just wasn't going to work. The two were clearly on different wavelengths and wanted entirely different things out of their lives and each other. Maybe they were having a good time together, but there was no real future there.
Guess whose relationship was basically the exact same thing? This girl! I walked out of that movie feeling deeply sure that my then-boyfriend and I needed to break up, but I wasn't ready to face it yet, so I shoved that feeling down for two more months.
About Time
This is a movie (SPOILER ALERT!) about a guy who can travel through time, and who frequently goes back in time in order to woo the woman of his dreams. When I write that down it sounds creepy, but it is utterly charming in the movie. He also learns a lot of important lessons about love and life and making the most of what's happening along the way.
Yes, it's entirely unfair to expect your boyfriend to travel back in time in order to woo you, but guess who was suddenly hit with the realization that even if he could travel in time, her boyfriend would probably not bother? Even if it meant un-ruining her birthday (for a totally hypothetical example)? This girl!
Plus, I tried to engage him in a conversation afterwards about what we would do differently with our days if we could time travel, and he was completely unwilling/unable to engage with the concept of re-imagining his day going differently.
Obviously, these relationships were already bound for disaster, and the movies just made me realize it sooner. So really, I should thank these movies for pointing out to me that I was with the wrong person at the time. And I do!
Thank you, movies. No, really. Thank you.
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This week's "I want to go to there": This photo stacks 100 sunsets on top of each other, creating the most stunning, painterly sky. Can I live under it? Photo by Matt Malloy
Protest Princesses Get Real
Amanda Niday's picture of Disney Princesses as protesters, created for the Women's March on Washington went pretty viral at the time. So what did she do? She made it real, with real women. I love it so so so much! Check out Niday's Tumblr and Society6 shop, because she is great.
The ingenuity of human brains is always pretty amazing. When trying to solve the problem of having a safe, cheap, and effective light source for people in developing countries, Jim Reeves and Martin Biddeford invented a light that is powered by gravity. GRAVITY! It is 100% free forever after it is purchased, doesn't require kerosene or electricity. It's basically magic.
Life with a Cephalopod
A Disney artist created a little series imagining life with a pet octopus. It's adorable and fun and makes me want a pet octopus. Which is entirely the point, I'm sure. See the whole series here.
Back in the day, I wrote a column for a local website on cheap things to do in Vancouver. Being that this city is consistently in the top five most-expensive cities in the world, learning how to live on the cheap was vital to my survival.
It's been awhile since I got to share my cheap-living strategies with the world, and so here are my favourite ways to live cheap without hurting too much. (Okay, some of them suck, but sometimes life sucks, and then we move on.)
First, the sucky things:
Learn the difference between a "want" and a "need." It's no fun to say, "This is the best-looking couch I've ever seen and lying on it would change my life, but I actually have a perfectly reasonable couch in my living room right now, so I don't need it," but it's probably accurate. Sometimes we want things SO BAD, it feels like we need them. Again, we probably don't. If you didn't know you needed it until you saw it in the store, then you definitely don't need it. Sorry.
Learn the difference between "cheap" and a "good deal." Just because something is a great value for you money doesn't mean you can afford it. I know, right??? It's just not fair! Life isn't fair, and the amount of money in your bank account doesn't change based on how much that thing is on sale for. Take heart, though! There is an unless. You don't save money by buying something that's a "good deal" unless it's something you always need to buy (like, I don't know, toilet paper), then, by all means, splurge on that sweet, sweet deal! Otherwise, the discount does not make it affordable. Sorry.
Learn how to stay within your limits. Figure out before you head out for the night how much you can afford to spend, and then stick with it. Bring only cash if necessary. Become okay with having just one drink and nursing it for a while. Practice saying, "I'm okay, thanks," or "I'll just have a water this time," when everyone else is ordering another round. It's fine! Tell yourself that you're the designated driver, if that makes you feel better.
Now, the less-sucky things:
Figure out a few actually-cheap or free things that feel luxurious to you. With all that self-control, you might start feeling like you're always depriving yourself, and that gets a bit tiresome. So what things are free, or very cheap, that make you feel nice? A weekly fancy beverage? Bubble baths? I find sitting in the park or at the beach on a blanket with a book to be like a mini-vacation. Sometimes I get ice cream, and then life becomes a dream. Of course, these faux-luxuries are pretty limited to warm weather. In the winter, I'm just sad all the time.
Make your first hang-out suggestions into free or cheap things. Our tendency is to presume that doing things with friends must cost money - we go for meals, drinks, or to see movies. It doesn't have to be that way! Invite people over to your actual home, the place you're already paying to be able to hang out. Or if you want to get out of the house, suggest going for tea or a walk instead of drinks.
Look up all the free things in your city. Does the art gallery have a free night? What can you get out of your library (I guarantee it's more than books)? What local theatres have pay-what-you-can nights? Which yoga studios have "karma" classes that are cheap or free? What free events are currently listed on Eventbrite? Do a little research and then have these options in your back pocket for the next time you need something to do.
Take advantage of your memberships. Are you a member of car2go? A local community centre? CAA? I can almost guarantee you that your memberships offer perks and discounts at other businesses. Do a little digging.
Learn how to fix your things. It boggles my mind how many people think they need to buy new clothes because a button fell off. Most shirts COME with spare buttons, for pete's sake! Nobody expects you to start sewing your own formal wear, but seriously, anyone can sew on a button or repair a torn hem. The less you waste things, the less money you spend.
Stock up on no-name brand goods. Sometimes it's worth it to buy the name brand. If you ask me, Honey Nut Cheerios are just better than "Hunny-n-Nut O's" or whatever, and dollar store Q-Tips are thinly-masked ear-stabbers. HOWEVER! Some things are just as good (or better) in the cheap version. Did you know that professional chefs buy no-name grocery staples? If you don't like having those ugly no-name containers out and about (I don't), then transfer the goods into jars.
Get to love used stuff. I legitimately love shopping second-hand. If you've got a thrift shop near your house, make a point of stopping in a couple of times a week to see what's new. I have gotten some of my favourite outfits, including tons of normally-insanely-expensive outdoorsy clothing, for a song in this way. Venture out of the clothing section, too! Books, decor, sporting goods, even electronics (most let you plug them in to make sure they work).
Bonus: this is an entirely eco-friendly way to shop, AND it can allow you to "splurge" on things you don't necessarily need, which is fun. Double bonus: sign up for the email list of some larger thrift shops and get emails when they have sales. Yes! Thrift stores have sales! Triple bonus: you can often get much higher quality goods at a thrift shop than a discount shop, for a similar price.
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You know how you try to take a picture of a thing, and then there your cat is, right in the middle of it? And then you think, "Oh darn, then I guess I'll take a picture of the cat."
I mean, I haven't watched it in a couple of years because the stories got a little too twisty-turned in on themselves and Clara was... less than interesting, but I keep meaning to get back into it and now I have a really really good reason to jump back on board: THEY HAVE ANNOUNCED THE NEW DOCTOR AND IT'S JODIE WHITTAKER.
You may know Jodie Whittaker as Danny's Mum in Broadchurch. I can't WAIT to see what she does with the role.
If you, also, are excited about this, or at least no more apprehensive than you are about all the "new Doctor" announcements, because you aren't a sexist turd, do yourself a favour and don't read any of the comments on any of the news stories about this. I don't know WHY I did, but I was treated to a bunch of men AND WOMEN saying "If she's crap, don't say I didn't warn you", "Boo on the BBC for shoving political correctness down our throats", and "I don't even know how I feel about female doctors in real life, let alone on a TV show." (UGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!)
Excuse me while I rip my hair out, chant "there is no use in trying to change their minds, logic will not work, move on with your life" over and over again, and then go binge all the Doctor Who stuff I missed for the past couple of years.
One thing I will say: I am often wary of "girl versions" of popular male-centred entertainment. For example, I thoroughly loved the all-female Ghostbusters, but kind of wish they had just made a sweet female-cast ghost-fighting comedy instead of redoing an old story. It naturally puts us in a "girls against boys" situation where people can't help but compare and to me that's not the point. HOWEVER, on a series like this where the whole concept is that the lead character is played by different actors over time, it's completely different. Unless there is a good reason, this lead character should be played by as diverse a group of actors as possible. Why? BECAUSE THE SHOW WILL BE BETTER! You'll have more opportunities for different styles of comedy, drama, and action, and if the whole idea is that they change every so often, then why make them only change within a tiny subset of humanity? All this to say, hoorah for a woman as The Doctor, and hopefully the next one won't be white.
I had NO IDEA as a youth that this song is so freaking empowering! Annnnnd, because I'm the coolest, reading the lyrics became a #whyisandreacryingthistime post on my Instagram. I can't help it, guys! People standing together and supporting each other ALWAYS gets my tear ducts ducting.
CAN'T HOLD US DOWN
by Christina Aguilera ft. Lil' Kim
So what am I not supposed to have an opinion
Should I keep quiet just because I'm a women
Call me a bitch cause I speak what's on my mind
Guess it's easier for you to swallow if I sat and smiled
When a female fires back suddenly big talker don't know how to act
So he does what every little boy would do
Makin' up a few false rumors or two
That for sure is not a man for me, slanderin' names for popularity
It's sad you only get your fame through controversy
But now it's time for me to come and give you more to say
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen and not heard
So what do we do girls, shout out loud
Lettin 'em know were gonna stand our ground
So lift your hands high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
Nobody can hold us down
Never can, never will
So-what am I not supposed to say what I'm saying
Are you offended with the message I'm bringin'
Call me whatever 'cause you words don't mean a thing
Guess you ain't even a man enough to handle what I sing
If you look back in history it's a common double standard os society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same yet you call her a whore
I don't understand why it's OK,
The guy can get a way with it the girl gets named
All my ladies come together and make a change
And start a new beginning for us, everybody sang
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen and not heard
So what do we do girls, shout out loud
Lettin 'em know were gonna stand our ground
So lift your ahnds high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
Here's something I just can't understand
If the guy have three girls then he's the man
He can even give her some head, or sex her off
But if a girl do the same, she's a whore
But the tables about to turn
I bet my fame on it
Cats take my ideas, and put their name on it
It's aight though, you can't hold me down
I got to keep on moving
To my girls to their man who be trying to mac
Do it right back to him and let that be that
You need to let him know that his game is whack
And Lil' Kim and Christina Aguilera got yo back
You're just a little boy
Think you so cute, so coy
You must talk so big to make up for smaller things
You're just a little boy
All you do is annoy
You must talk big to make up for smaller things
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen and not heard
So what do we do girls, shout out loud
Lettin 'em know were gonna stand our ground
So lift your ahnds high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
This is for my girls all around the world
Who have come across a man that don't respect your worth
Thinkin' all women should be seen and not heard
So what do we do girls, shout out loud
Lettin 'em know were gonna stand our ground
So lift your ahnds high and wave 'em proud
Take a deep breath and say it loud
Never can, never will
Can't hold us down
Uh, oh oh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
Can't hold us down
Yeah, we here, we back again, yeah,
Lil Kim and Christina Aguilera
Can't hold us down
Screenshot, Can't Hold Us Down music video
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