Cute! Penelope the Puppy

You know how some dogs just look like little, adorable, stuffed animals?  Here is one of those dogs.  Her name is Penelope.  She is so cute it's too much.

Singalong! Lazarus by David Bowie

Yes, that's right.  This has been a week of sad deaths (first David Bowie, then Alan Rickman, and finally Renee Charles), so for today's singalong, of course we're going to listen to some Bowie. I have gone back and forth a bit on whether I want to listen to my favourite Bowie song (although if you read my post this week about him, you'll know that I don't actually know that many Bowie songs), or to pick Lazarus. I'm opting for Lazarus. It is such a beautiful song, and as a farewell, I think the video and lyrics deserve a lot of special attention. Read and listen, sing along if you can.

LAZARUS

by David Bowie

Look up here, I'm in heaven

I've got scars that can't be seen

I've got drama, can't be stolen

Everybody knows me now1

Look up here, man, I'm in danger

I've got nothing left to lose

I'm so high, it makes my brain whirl

Dropped my cell phone down below

Ain't that just like me?

By the time I got to New York

I was living like a king

Then I used up all my money

I was looking for your ass

This way or no way

You know I'll be free

Just like that bluebird

Now, ain't that just like me?

Oh, I'll be free

Just like that bluebird

Oh, I'll be free

Learning! Playing with history with Histography

Want to explore world history without digging through merciless tomes?  Check out Histography.  It's an interactive timeline spanning the past 14 billion years, using Wikipedia articles.  Not only is the design fun, but it's got everything from The Big Bang and the formation of the first stars and galaxies, all the way to the discovery of water on Mars.

Each point on the histogram represents a historic event.  It's interesting to see where the points pile up and lots of thing were happening, and where they shrink back down.  It would also be quite fascinating to go through and evaluate what was deemed an "important" event to include in the graph.

The past 14 billion years, in a nutshell.

The past (approximately) 12 years

From about 500-present

Check it out! Find the point where dogs evolved, where the first civilization of Sumer emerged, or when toilet paper was invented.  Narrow down to a specific era (they have links to isolate, for example, The Bronze Age), or just play around with the timeline.  Pick a year and find out what happened at that point in history.  Learning is fun!

Me & Ryan Gosling: at an awards show

Ryan joined me at a theatre awards show! It was fun for him to be at an awards show that wasn't for him.

Inspiration! A scientific definition of God

The Helix Nebula. Wikipedia Commons.

Here's something to think about: how about we all (religious and atheist and everything in between) allow our definition of God to expand somewhat?

This article by Richard Greene in the Huffington Post argues that we could define God using The Helix Nebula, which is also referred to by scientists as The Eye of God.  Actually, he says all nebulae will do, not just The Eye of God, it just happens to have a good name.

Why?  Well, according to Greene, nebulae actually create life in the universe - they are aggregates of gases that recycle the energy of dying stars into everything: new stars, planets, bones, muscles, brains.  Everything.  We were all created in a nebulae.

So if you can open your definition of God to include something along the lines of "that through which everything in the universe is created", well, have a look at some nebulae.  They are God.

Cool!

Source.

David Bowie

David Bowie in the Young Americans Tour.
Wikimedia Commons by Hunter Disportes.

I didn't grow up listening to David Bowie.  I knew who he was, because it how could anyone go through the 80s and 90s without knowing who David Bowie was, but it was probably more because his sweet outfits broke through even the most conservative of Mennonite upbringings (and relative to conservative Mennonites, my family was pretty liberal).

The first time I really encountered David Bowie, though, it was in a parody.  (Thank you, Flight of the Conchords!  I bet you didn't realize that when you lovingly parodied a glam rock icon you would actually be introducing him to someone who was older than 10!)  Like any good parody, it made me think that David Bowie was probably pretty great and motivated me to check him out.

Here it is, the song that introduced me to David Bowie
When I looked him up, I was pleasantly surprised to find that some of the songs were actually familiar!  The intro to Under Pressure, Heroes (thanks to Moulin Rouge), China Girl (thanks to The Wedding Singer), Let's Dance, Ch-ch-ch-changes.  I knew some Bowie songs!  I hadn't entirely missed a cultural icon!  How nice.

If this were a proper tribute, now would be the moment where I talk about how I became huge fan and memorized his lyrics and learned to play his songs on the guitar and then finally created my own art, set free by Bowie's unhindered spirit.

In reality, I never really listened to him again.  It's kind of strange that I didn't get more into Bowie.  After all, he struck that nearly-impossible balance between artistry and fun, and his creativity is undeniable.  There is no particular reason for the lack of Bowie in my life except that, I don't know, I guess I just wasn't in the habit of hanging out with his work?

Then, on Sunday, he passed away.  The molecules and atoms that made up his body, that somehow managed to come together into the "self" that created all that incredible work, will dissolve back into the universe and become one with everything else again.  Some of them might eventually grow into a really funny looking tree that grows very tall and very thin up to the sky.

It's always a bit strange when a celebrity dies.  If they impacted your life, then it's heartbreaking, which can be confusing because you didn't actually know them.  If they didn't really impact your life, it's still sad because they are a person and it's always sad when a person dies.  It's that strange feeling of an acquaintance passing - an acquaintance who all your friends were very close with but you didn't really know that well.  You feel there is a loss, and you see that loss much more pronounced in those around you.  You feel some grief, mostly out of empathy for the grief that surrounds you.

To David Bowie, up there in space, I want to say thank you.  Thanks for being the artist you were and for always just doing your thing and not caring about anything else.  For not holding yourself back.  It was very good for the human race to have an example of a person who didn't hold himself back AND had a sense of humour about things.

Cute! The cat, she sees you

Okay, this might not be so much a "cute" post as a "don't make any sudden movements"-type post.  The other day I came home and Gertie just sat there on my bed, staring at me through this crack in the door like the natural-born killer that she is.

Singalong! Bring Me To Life by Evanescence

Remember Evanescence? They were two-hit wonders in the mid-00's who had so many feelings in their songs. Who didn't love driving around crying out with their whole body "Call my name and save me from the dark!"?

BRING ME TO LIFE

by Evanescence

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?

Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

Without a soul my spirit's sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)

Bring me to life

Frozen inside without your touch

Without your love, darling

Only you are the life among the dead

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought, without a voice, without a soul

Don't let me die here

There must be something more

Bring me to life

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Bring me to life

(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)

Bring me to life

The Artist's Way: Week One

I am doing The Artist's Way!  The Artist's Way is a 12-week program where you do a variety of exercises to help "unblock" yourself as an artist.  My goal is to start acting on my random creative impulses and have more fun with my artist side, instead of just shunting off all my ideas to the "maybe someday" part of my brain.

On the way, I intend to write about the experience.  This is week one!  So far there are things that I love (let's call them "hearts") and things I am skeptical about (let's call them "hmmmmmmmms").

Week one is titled Recovering a Sense of Safety.  The big idea here is to counteract some of the negative beliefs we have about artists and the associated fears that might be holding us back.  Beliefs that artists are all drunk, broke, and unhappy/mentally unstable, for example.  It's about finding the root of those negative beliefs and taking away their power.

HEARTS:

The Morning Pages: The Morning Pages is the number one, top practice The Artist's Way teaches.  If you tell anyone you're doing The Artist's Way and they are at all familiar, they will probably say something like, "oh, so you're doing morning pages."  Basically, every morning you write 750 words.  That's it.  750 words of whatever.  Stream of consciousness.  Get what's running through your mind on the paper.

I can totally see how this will be beneficial and would be good for everyone, no matter what they do with their lives.  The practice of writing down every thought, every concern, worry, and responsibility, alongside all your gratitude and happiness, is pretty therapeutic.  It's a total release.

The best part, for me, is the word count.  The word count does two things: one, it keeps it from taking too long, because if you don't have a point where you're "done", you could write out every thought in your head for days.  I used to just freehand journal in the morning and it wound up eating wayyyy too much of my morning, which is why I stopped.

The second is that you got to start off your day FINISHING something.  It's a daily practice of completion.  You write until it's done.  You don't judge, evaluate, or shape it.  You don't give up because it's not quite working.  You get it done.  The utility of this has already seeped into my other writing.  It reminds me to just do and keep doing until I am done.

The Artist Date: At first I was skeptical about this one.  The idea is that your inner artist is this child that needs to be nurtured, so you should take it on a date, which is cheesy but fine.  She refers to it as "filling the artist tank", which totally makes sense.  All of Julia Cameron's suggestions, however, sound like some Manic Pixie Dream Girl, live each day like it's your last, let's go really experience the world hoopla: go for a walk and really notice the world!  Eat a meal and really, truly, experience your food!  Smell it!  Are you smelling it? Did you taste ALL the flavours??? When you prepared it, did you notice every single time you chopped the carrot?  Did you FEEL it?  Ugh.  Really?

Then I did a little research online, though, and now I get it.  It's literally a time you set aside to just do a fun thing you want to do.  It can be making something, watching something, or doing something.  Like, anything that isn't lying around in a Netflix binge, basically.  It is the life-changing idea that we need to do things once and a while.  That we need to start tuning back into those little inner urges that say "hey, let's check that out!"

The affirmations: This week, at least, one of the exercises is to do affirmations.  Every morning after completing my Morning Pages, I say nice things to myself about how I'm a prolific artist and I am channeling God's creativity and stuff like that.  It's totally cheesy, but as someone who has battled depression in the past and won, in part, due to positive affirmations and gratitude practices, I am all over this.

The spiritual bent: I have a kind of faltering but ever-present spiritual intention in my life.  Of late, it's been more falter than intent, and I think that a practice founded on the idea that we are connected to a creative source (God) will be very useful.  It also helps the art not be egotistical or self-serving if it's about channeling/getting in touch with something bigger than I am (I am always in favour of Something Bigger Than Me).

HMMMMMMMMMS:

The Recovery Talk: Oh goodness, are we all these delicate, bruised roses that need to be coddled back to our blooming glory?  I get it, a lot of people have beat up their little inner artist so much that they are covered in wounds and need to be gently guided back into trusting themselves.

Sure, growing up it was often suggested to me that art makes a great hobby after I was asked how I would make a living, and maybe I've just begun to believe my oppressors, but I don't think that was wrong of people to ask.  We don't have a patronage system anymore, so if you are going to be a full-time artist you kind of need to be a business person and marketer too.  You need to think through how you are going to make your art lucrative.  You need to study, apply for grants, pitch to galleries, set up websites with online shops, network, and run Instagram accounts.  Let's be honest, Julia Cameron makes zillions of dollars marketing an empire of products surrounding The Artist's Way, and that's not all just a result of following her inner artist's bliss.  It's business acumen.

All that to say, I don't feel like my inner artist is this poor, neglected child who needs to be gently coaxed out into the sunlight.  All I'm looking for is to give her more room to play.

The Childish Tasks: Some of the tasks are great.  Obviously the Morning Pages and the Artist Date are already wins to me.  I'm doing the affirmations and am fully on board with them.

This week, however, I'm also supposed to be identifying the "monsters" in my life who held me back and scared my sweet little artist into hiding behind my spleen.  I'm to write childlike rebuttals to put them in their place and draw pictures of them with boogers on their faces.

I don't know.  That just seems silly.  I can't even think of anyone, and if I could, I wouldn't want to call them names and black out their teeth, because I know they weren't trying to quash my dreams.  They were trying to love and support me the best they knew how.  No monsters here, just people doing their best.

Resistance Dismissal: If I had a "Hall of Monsters" who had murdered my innocent young artist I might see this differently, but what kind of gets me about this is the fact that Julia Cameron makes a point of dismissing any resistance you may feel to the tasks.  Basically, if I feel like I don't want to do something, it's not because the exercise doesn't suit me, it's because I am resisting recovery and sticking with my comfortably familiar (but painful) state of suffocated dreams.

To her, The Artist's Way is not wrong or needing modification, only my attitude needs adjusting.  This, of course, starts to remind me of a common religious reasoning whenever something doesn't work out: "it's never God's fault, it's always your fault, you faithless sinner."  That kind of logic is never very helpful, if you ask me.

Learning! Why cats knock everything over all the time

Credit: @PhilJamesson and The Oatmeal

Everyone knows cats love to knock things off shelves. It's often cited as evidence of cats general jerk/bully/snobby behaviour, because who goes around knocking things over for no good reason? Evil geniuses who are too small in size to assert any real authority, that's who.

Well, turns out, like most living creatures, cats have a reason for doing what they do and that reason is not to be a jerk.

First of all, this is something lion cubs and other wild cats do in nature to practice hunting. It's kind of just instinctual for them, and since domestic cats have had all their hunting opportunities taken away, you know that pent up hunter energy is going to go somewhere.

Second, they might just want your attention. Not just for fun, but because they need something. When was the last time you fed them? Changed their litter? Maybe this is on you, dear cat owner!

Finally, apparently deaf cats are the most likely to knock things over and break them repeatedly, because they don't get startled by the sound of the breaking dish.

So if you want your cat to stop knocking your stuff over, maybe just keep it well fed and give it other ways to exercise its hunterly nature!

Remember: cats don't actually know that the thing you put in their path is an antique vase from your dead aunt.  It's just the thing you put n their path and they have not been able to chase anything for a very long time.

Source.

Inspiration! Get Yer Groove On

This one just feels right, so near to the start of 2016, don't you think?

Cute! Gertie getting her Christmas stretch on

Over Christmas I always bring Gertie back to my parents' house with me. This is partially because nobody is around during Christmas to look in on her, but mostly because I would feel all sad and guilty leaving her all alone over the holidays, as if she knows that it's a "special" time of year. This year was a bit trying for her, since my aunt brought her dog and my cousin brought her cat-loving children over as well, but here she is enjoying an evening of respite after dog and children had gone to bed.  Stretch and be happy, dear Gertie!

Singalong! The New Year by Death Cab For Cutie

It's a new year! How do you feel about it? I used to really resonate with this Death Cab song, "So this is the new year, and I don't feel any different." I don't really identify with it anymore, but I think it perfectly captures that early-20s malaise where a low-grade judgement of the wealthy/happy/shiny people resonates as deeply as your connection to misfit/poor/slightly-unhappy people who stare blankly off in the distance, because they reflect the deeply misunderstood complexity of your inner life.

So happy new year!  If you are deeply misunderstood, then this song is for you.  If you don't feel deeply misunderstood, well, enjoy a little vicarious angst.

THE NEW YEAR

by Death Cab For Cutie

So this is the New Year

And I don't feel any different.

The clanking of crystal

Explosions off in the distance.

So this is the new year

And I have no resolutions

For self assigned penance

For problems with easy solutions

So everybody put your best suit or dress on

Let's make believe that we are wealthy for just this once

Lighting firecrackers off on the front lawn

As thirty dialogs bleed into one

I wish the world was flat like the old days

Then we could travel just by folding a map

No more airplanes, or speed trains, or freeways

There'd be no distance that could hold us back.

There'd be no distance that could hold us back [x2]

So this is the new year [x4]