Can You Forgive the People Who Were Selfish During COVID?

Here's something that might fall under the banner of post-pandemic trauma and what are we going to do about it: resenting, or perhaps straight-up hating, the people who did not take the whole thing seriously enough.
 
The struggle has come up a lot in my circles, but was articulated more directly than I've ever seen by Quinn Norton in their essay We Hate You Now: The Hardest Problem of the Aftertimes.

"There’s going to be a point where this is over, and we’re all going to be in person again. If you didn’t mask, went to crowded spaces, visited friends and family, any of those things, best hide that from me. Because what’s happening right now is your fault: the sickness, exhaustion, deaths, loneliness, isolation, it’s the fault of people who can’t just stay home and mask long enough to let this horrible thing burn itself out."

I am lucky, I guess, that as far as I know, no one in my life was reckless with the pandemic. Yes, some of my friends or family did things they weren't supposed to do, but mostly in ways that illicit small frustrations and eye-rolls, not harsh judgments. (Okay, fine, some very harsh judgments, but not "I hate you now" judgments.)
 
There's been no international travel, nobody going to illegal apartment nightclubs, no refusals to wear masks or vaccine rejection. Or if there has, they have been hiding it well, for which I am grateful, because I got enough anxiety seeing a friend post that they had a drink inside a restaurant (when this was well within the rules) let alone that they got on a plane for fun. (I shudder at the thought.)

"Unlike any other pandemic in history, our level of scientific knowledge and ability to communicate globally gave us the power to stop this virus. This is humanity’s first self-inflicted pandemic. Or rather, a bunch of people inflicted it on the rest of us because of selfishness, ignorance, or both. If you are one of those people, you have by definition not had to deal with me or my tribe — the ones that took this seriously, the ones who fought this thing tooth and nail, or who stayed home except to do the most needful things. But when we are all back together, this is going to be a new and terrible social problem. If you were out, helping to spread this virus, I don’t know what to tell you. It’s going to be a long time before I know how to forgive you.

You should probably just lie about it for the rest of your life."

It's ridiculously harsh and also not wrong


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Zoom Escaper Proves That We Are Still Broken Inside

Zoom Escaper is an app that you can use to sabotage your Zoom feed and get out of your online meetings or disastrous group Zoom hangs.

Comrades! Have we learned nothing from this past year of pandemic exhaustion and Zoom exhaustion and so much exhaustion and giving everyone lots of allowances for self care and managing their own capacity to engage?

Aside from some pretty narrow instances of actual obligation, it should not be a big ask to get some understanding that you don't want to be on a Zoom call, and yet instead people are needing to make it look like their internet isn't working to get a break?

This is not the way life should be, my friends!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Some Delight: The Leaf Sheep Slug


Have you heard of leaf sheep slugs???? They are "essentially solar-powered fluff"!!! They photosynthesize and have adorable cow faces!!! These adorable little creatures prove that nature is full of tiny gifts of delight.

Here is an artistic rendition of one:

An illustration of a leaf sheep slug, which looks like a slug but the body is all leaves and the face is like a slug combined with a cow, but all white with little pink dots on its cheeks. This drawing has the normally green leaves all multicoloured.
Sandra Strait


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Both Are True

Okay, so:
 
We cannot, in any fairness, expect our past selves to know things we know now or hold them to our current standards. We acted, at the time, based on what we knew and what we were capable of. Expecting anything different is ridiculous and unfair.

We've made mistakes. We've been ignorant. We have LEARNED. It was all part of the journey.
 
And also:
 
Sometimes those mistakes hurt people along the way. Sometimes we (intentionally or not) kept terrible systems afloat or made decisions with really bad consequences for others or ignored information we could have easily taken into account.

Sometimes, we could have, and should have, done better and there is accountability for that. 

(This has been today's presentation of Two Statements That Both Oppose and Support One Another That Are Both True and Must Be Held in Tension Which Is Difficult To Do and Heck if I Know How But it's Important.)


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Recommended Read: It's Not Cancel Culture--It's Platform Failure

You know when you have an argument swimming around the back of your head but it's not fully articulated yet so you can't talk about it and then BAM! You find someone else on the internet who has fleshed it the heck out for you?

Charlie Warzel's Substack article It's Not Cancel Culture--It's Platform Failure did that for me.

One of the issues I've had whenever people talk about cancel culture is how they make it sound like the Council of Cancelling meets and agrees that someone's tweets from 15 years ago are Bad and now we must destroy their life. Or, more often, that it's an Angry Mob that has Gathered with Pitchforks to Yell and Set Fires and Do Violence.
 
But that's never it, is it?
 
Really, what people call the Angry Mob of Cancel Culture is a whole lot of individuals seeing something, getting angry, and expressing their anger.

The only thing that's new about this behaviour is the platform. Humans have been seeing things and reacting since the dawn of emotions, we just never used to be able to see that many things, nor did we have the ability to broadcast our opinions about them.
 
We have now reached the limit of my past arguments on the issue. ENTER THIS ARTICLE, pointing out that the issue isn't that people are having feelings on the internet, but that the platform (in this case, Twitter, but really, anything with an algorithm that plucks out content to feature) makes sure as many people see that anger as possible while completely collapsing the original context or audience:
 
"The point of Twitter’s Trending Topics is ostensibly to surface significant news and Twitter commentary and invite others to ‘join the conversation.’ Left unsaid, of course, is that ‘the conversation’ at scale is complete garbage — an incomprehensible number of voices lecturing past each other... Twitter is hellbent on the notion that this chaos can be harnessed in a safe, PG-13 kind of way. But that’s wishful thinking. Instead, it dredges up items meant for one audience and throws them into another."

The algorithm sees a small wave forming and goes, "yeah, you know what? Let's make this a tsunami!", pushing as many people as possible towards it as possible.

Thank you to Mr. Warzel for taking my argument and fleshing it out. And my apologies to anyone in my life who brings up cancel culture again because my counter-lecture just got longer.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

This Week's Gratitude & Delight

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
This week I have been grateful for:

Spontaneous park time with a friend and then a spontaneous walk with another friend!!!

"Seeing" a play that was more of a choose-your-own-adventure audio experience and was truly enlivening and joyful!

Sitting in the park and making myself more animal ears.

A friend sent me some tips in my quest to do the splits that might just be helping!

Both for days in the office and days at home.

Little bits of ongoing D&D played via text instead of just waiting until we can meet up again online all together.

Got a free beer making kit!

THIS WEEK'S DELIGHT: Opening my journal to a page where my sweet heart-nephew had drawn me pictures!


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Maybe It's Okay to Take Blood Money

I have a question. One that might get some people upset with me.
 
Is it really a terrible thing for a charity to accept donations from evil corporations?

Over the past few years there have been increasing protests of Big Arts Institutions that accept donations from Big Oil. And don't get me wrong, I am not interested in anything that helps Big Oil. (Nor, to be honest, am I particularly concerned about these Big Art, with their multi-million dollar endowments and corporate structures. They'll be fine.)

The argument against accepting these donations always seems to boil down to the fact that you are helping the evil org rehabilitate its image in the public. People now associate them with pretty art or feeding poor babies instead of environmental destruction or slave labour.

My questions to this are: do they really? And what would happen with that money otherwise?

I suspect that the answer is to the first question is, "a medium-ish amount, depending.

The second question, though. What would happen otherwise?
 
Let's just say that every single charity and benevolent organization in the world decides to divest of unethical or anti-environmental money.

I see two major impacts: first, the charities have sudden gaps in their budgets and either have to scramble to find other funds or reduce their staff and work. Meanwhile, Big Evil just got more profit. Maybe the boards and executives of those companies get extra money in their pockets (that may get partially diverted into personal donations or put into multiple luxury yachts or trust funds for their children) or maybe they decide to reinvest the profits in company operations, making them even more effective at their work. Maybe they increase their marketing budget to run feel-good campaigns or maybe they hire more lobbyists to make sure public policy favours them.

So basically, the charities get weaker while the evil corporations of the world actually get stronger. That is the opposite of what we want! Whereas, if the charities take that money, at least some of the evil gets turned into social good. (Maybe we do this at the same time as we dismantle the legal framework that allows them to be evil in the first place???)

Honestly, I'm not arguing everyone should start taking title sponsorships from Esso. I am also completely into personal (or company)-sized protests--of saying, "I know this won't change the world, but I can't stomach being a part of what this company does so I won't buy their products/take their money."

In terms of measures of good or harm for society, though? It seems like, so long as these companies exist, taking their money is a net positive.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

The Plight of Going Viral

Usually, my Twitter feed is a friendly and low-key place. I have a relatively small number of people who I interact with on there and they are wonderful, so it's usually pretty nice and non-stressful.
 
Then I had a tweet that, while it couldn't possibly have met any objective definition of going viral, felt viral to me and hoooooeeey, it was stressful AF.

I've heard people talk about how unpleasant it is to go viral in the past, and to be honest, I wasn't very charitable towards the idea. Like, oooooh noooo I have so many notifications, I am so popular I don't know what to do with it! Life is hard!

Here's what I wasn't considering: people. They can be the worst. Or, even when they're not being the worst, they can be pretty challenging. Especially when there is just enough context to get riled up and then chime in yourself.

The issue isn't just getting a lot of replies. It's that your replies get full of people mistaking your point and then arguing with each other over it. My tweet was about a political leader, and so I had people quote tweeting me and adding personal insults towards them, which made me really uncomfortable.
 
Seeing people twist or misunderstand your words, and do so with anger, is pretty dang un-fun. Especially when, like me, you are a person who can't help but engage, which only serves to prolong the unpleasantness.
 
Eventually, I learned my lesson. I figured out I could turn off notifications from that tweet forever, but dang if my life wasn't dominated by this one thing I said for two days.
 
It makes me feel very sorry for Bean Dad.



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

This One's Just Right

This may be one of the better things I've seen in a while. A black bear makes itself at home in a patio hot tub. Get yours, little bear! I hope it's just right.



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

This Week's Gratitude

An animated gif illustration. There is a black background and a white speech bubble with the text "thank you" inside it that blinks on and off. Around the speech bubble are two white stars that wiggle back and forth.
Ivo Adventures
 
This week I have been grateful for:
 
The return of park hangs season! It's sunny! It's sort of warm and definitely warm enough to be outside!

My friend's son (who is my heart-nephew) who, when I saw him, immediately wanted to share the story of a scary thing that happened that day, but he doesn't really have words yet, so he pantomimes it and makes little signal noises and it's so adorable.

For the first time, I was grateful there were not new health restrictions, because even though I think we need them I also just really wanted the artists currently working at the theatre to be able to do their show and they ARE!

I had a moment for casual conversation and bouncing ideas around with a coworker I don't often get to do that with, and it was really nice and helpful.

I got the answer to a question that's been bouncing around in my head for a while, and it may not have been the answer I was hoping for but it was the second best scenario, which may actually wind up being the best scenario. Either way, I don't have to wonder anymore!
 
I got stood up for a Tinder date I didn't really want to go on and got to sit in a park in the sun and read a book instead. WIN. 

This Week's Delight:
- Having a staff meeting IN-PERSON and OUTDOORS in the SUN instead of over Zoom. It was the most delighted land acknowledgement I have ever given.


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

Joanne Swirska Makes Me Want So Many Tattoos

I may need to get another tattoo, now that I've seen Joanne Swirska's work. Not only is the artistry up to chef's kiss level, but she does animals in adorable and whimsical situations!

A photo of an arm with a tattoo on it. The tattoo is of two cats lying together playfully, surrounded by cute little mushrooms and pine branches.

A photo of a tattoo that shows a kangaroo wearing a bright blue backpack, surrounded by flowers



The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!

It's My Parents' Fault, They Raised Me This Way

Do you have any consistent and dramatic COVID fatigue triggers? Something that, when it happens, completely throws you into a pit of done-ness?
 
Thing that instantly gets me is when I have to cancel a plan. For example, I was supposed to go for a walk with a friend the other day and then she told me she has allergies and even though she's certain it's not COVID, she does have some symptoms.

We probably could have gone for our walk and been just fine, but instead I opted, as I usually do, for the abundance of caution. You know, variants of concern, people thinking they have allergies and then having COVID, how stupid I would feel if I did get it from this...

I was instantly resentful. I whined to one of my group chats and sat on the kitchen floor staring into the middle distance with my cat on my lap for a hilarious amount of time.

Eventually, I broke the funk and started doing something with my day again. (Which is usually the answer, by the way, is to just do something else that I enjoy--a simple solution that takes me quite some time to get to.)
 
COVID is really making me resent being a responsible person, y'all. I blame my parents, who raised me to consider the consequences of my actions.
 
How about you? What smaller COVID thing destroys your day? And how do you deal with it?


The Receptionist Delivers!
Sign up for my email newsletter for a bi-weekly digest and bonus content!