Singalong! Better Sons/Daughters by Rilo Kiley

I didn't used to be able to listen to this song. I had depression issues for most of my teens and early 20s, and something about this song put a tack right into my experience. So much so that if I heard it, the little veneer holding all the pieces of me together would know that it was being called out by name and shatter, and I would 100% fall apart.

Even though I got through my depression some time ago, I still instinctively avoid this song. It doesn't break me anymore, but it does make my eyes get all teary. Especially that last verse that details all the ways you can force yourself to exist in the world without letting on the death inside. But it's not just an anthem of brokenness; it's also an anthem of glimmering hope, and I think that's worth singing along to once and a while, even if your voice isn't even coming out because of all the feelings in your throat.

by Rilo Kiley

Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move
Awake but cannot open my eyes
And the weight is crushing down on my lungs I know I can't breathe
And hope someone will save me this time
And your mother's still calling you insane and high
Swearing it's different this time
And you tell her to give in to the demons that possess her
And that God never blessed her insides
Then you hang up the phone and feel badly for upsetting things
And crawl back into bed to dream of a time
When your heart was open wide and you loved things just because
Like the sick and the dying

And sometimes when you're on, you're really fucking on
And your friends they sing along and they love you
But the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
And it teases you for weeks in it's absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
You'll be better you'll be smarter
And more grown up and a better daughter
Or son and a real good friend
You'll be awake and you'll be alert
You'll be positive though it hurts
And you'll laugh and embrace all your friends
You'll be a real good listener
You'll be honest, you'll be brave
You'll be handsome, you'll be beautiful
You'll be happy

Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
To the cries and the wails of the valley below
Your ship may be coming in
You're weak but not giving in
And you'll fight it you'll go out fighting all of them...

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