Cat lovers, take heed!

Apparently dogs are where it's at in Britain, and since Britain's fashion is always three steps ahead of ours (is it actually?  I think I just made that up), it's only a matter of time before dogs overtake cats here in Canada/Vancouver as well.

The headline of this article in The Telegraph (that I found via The Hairpin, of course) states "New figures show the number of dogs is at all-time high and is on course to end feline supremacy."

Really Telegraph?  Do you really think so?  Do you really think that this isn't all a part of The Alliance of Cats' evil scheme to take over the world?  Do you really think the cats don't know exactly what they're doing?

The one thing I know about cats is this: they are cunning, devious, frightening creatures that I would probably think were possessed by the devil if not for the fact that they so clearly are too powerful for possession and therefore are some kind of incarnation of the devil.

Now, don't get me wrong here, I am a cat person all the way.  I love them like the guy in that cat food commercial.  For the majority of years that I've been alive I have had a cat and those years have been glorious: full of snuggles and purring and chasing string and finding bits of fur in my mouth all of a sudden for no apparent reason (seriously, how does that happen???).

All this love, however, has not blinded me to their true nature.  Which is, of course, that of Masterminds of Evil.  I am 100% certain that when my kitty would find me and sit on my lap when I was having a particularly bad day, giving me the love and snuggles I needed to feel better, he was being entirely calculated about the whole thing.  He knew that I would have forgiven a world of evil deeds after a week of those snuggles.  And he was right.

All this to say that, of course cats are "letting dogs win", for the time being.  I mean, duh, because it's all a part of their plan.

Fear not, cat lovers!  This is merely a test of our devotion!  Our time will come once again and we will have a glorious role to play as pawns in the Great Kitty Takeover that has yet to come!