One more thing I learned from TV

Have you ever noticed the television formula to getting over a break up?  It's a wonderful thing.  Whenever personal tragedy strikes in the form of an ended relationship, a person follows a few simple steps:

1. Legitimate despair
After the initial break up everyone experiences legitimate despair.  Depending on the skill of the actor, we get to see the real broken sadness that comes from the sudden ending of a relationship.

2. Sloth-like despair
Sometimes this state is implied to have lasted weeks or months, but it always involves sweat pants, reduced personal hygiene, and unhealthy eating habits.  It is always over-the-top disgusting and makes you wonder how on earth the person hasn't lost their job in that time, culminating in a group of concerned friends intervening and forcing the following step.

3. Mobile despair
At this point, our group of concerned friends have forced the heartbroken lump of sadness into real pants and out of the house.  This is where the "real comedy" kicks in.  The mobile-heartbroken-lump is trying to follow along with their friends, but at every turn is reminded of their former beloved.  They cry out in over-the-top sobs at bus stops where kisses happened and store windows where gifts were purchased, until they are suddenly discovered to be missing from the group, found half a block behind weeping because they saw a poster for a movie they were planning to see with their ex.  The friends move from sympathy to increasing levels of annoyance.

4. Recovery
The extreme display in patheticism is quickly turned around by either a) tough love from the concerned friends or b) sexiness from someone other than the former-lover.  Then a new perspective is gained, an honest heart-to-heart is had where everyone admits how hard it is, but that it just takes time, and then -poof!- the heart is mended.

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