Things That Are Gross

  1. Coming home to see a slug on the wall crawling up towards your shoes.
  2. Being just way too grossed out to do anything about it (also, being unsure of how to best deal with a slug in a humane way because you're feeling guilty about past inhumanities towards bugs and rodents and other unwanted critters) so leaving it but then being haunted by visions if it sliming its way across your shoes.
  3. Magazines and books in the bathroom.  I mean, really?  Necessary?  I think not.  And then because of all the humidity the pages get all cronkly and wavy and it's just NASTY.
  4. Reaching into the back part of a cupboard where you can't really see.
  5. The drawer underneath the oven and anything that lives in there.  I'm pretty sure it houses mostly evil gremlins.
  6. Being unsure if your cereal is stale or not and having to taste it to see.
  7. Your face.
  8. Just kidding, your face isn't really gross.
  9. Or at least it's not gross enough to make this list.
  10. Unless you have a remarkably gross face.
  11. Then, well, I am sorry for you.
  12. But moreso for everyone who has to look at you.

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