The sound of my tears is completely drowned out by the weeping of forests everywhere

The Kleenex company, pioneers in convincing everyone that reusable handkerchiefs are disgusting*, have found a new frontier their war on trees!  Now they want everyone to believe that a hand towel in your home bathroom is disgusting.  Yep, continue to use that cloth hand towel and you'll be a spawning ground for disease and disability.  Your family will probably get the plague.  In fact, your home will likely be the source of the next big animal-sourced flu: feline, canine, or parrotine.

The sad thing is that people will actually buy these.  You know, to go along with their air-disinfectants, one-time use antibacterial wipes for ever room in the house, and individually wrapped baby wipes for ladies.

Seriously people?

*I will concede that handkerchiefs can be disgusting.  I do think that for everyday sniffles and other mucous-lite activities they are a great idea though and that they should be making a comeback.  I mean, come on! You can get them monogrammed!  Think of the possibilities: you could drop a hanky to invite the seduction of an attractive stranger!  You can find a hanky to uncover infidelity!  The possibilities are endless!  Or at least dual.