An Open Letter to People Who Use the Phone

Dear Clients, the CRA, and others who call my office,

It's true, I have only been a receptionist for about 6 months, so my beefs can in no way rival those of lifelong receptionists (or even those who do it for a couple of years), but I do have a few suggestions for those calling in:

1. I know, your call is urgent. You're calling your accountant, which means it's about money, which means it's important to you. However, your whiny, panicked voice will not make me transfer the call any faster. I won't do it slower just to spite you, I'm not that bitter yet, but I already transfer calls at a normal, efficient, human speed, and that's about as fast as it's going to happen without me becoming the office spazz.

2. I understand that some consider it more polite, but when you either a) slowly and methodically or b) in your quick, whiny, panicked voice, tell me your full name and the company your calling from and then ask for my boss using his full name and asking if you can please talk to him, you're wasting a lot of time. You're also annoying me.

3. Thank you to those of you who are quick and to the point: "Joe there please?" or even "Jim calling for Joe." Then I can put you on hold much quicker than the nimwits from number 2 and not waste anyone's time.

4. If you get my boss' name wrong when you're calling, I don't really care. But don't try to pretend I'm wrong. I know my boss' name, as well as the names of everyone else in the office because a) that's my job and b) there are currently 3 other people in this office so any dimwit would know their names. Just acknowledge your mistake and let me transfer your call instead of arguing with me (or apologizing profusely as if I'm going to tell on you-I won't!).

5. If you try to get ahold of someone and they're on the phone, please just leave a message with me or on their voicemail. When you say "oh no, I'll just call back" that inevitably means that you'll call again while they're busy and I'll have to deal with you many more times. Just leave a message! It's what I'm here for.

6. On that note, you also don't need to ask permission to leave a message. Especially if you're whiny/panicked guy. Just tell me your name and number and I'll write it down. It's my job.

Sincerely,

The Receptionist