The Receptionist

Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself LAUNCH UPDATE

The launch party for Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself just got a whole lot more fun!

Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself Launch
Thursday, Feb.21 at 7pm
Massy Books (229 E Georgia Street)

The evening will include a reading, Q&A, and signing, annnnnd...

A PERFORMANCE by musical improv duo Jennifer Pielak and Peter Abando! Jen and Peter will take a cue from us to create some hilarious and vulnerable songs about us and the voices in our heads.

Jen & Peter will perform at the launch of Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself

Jen & Peter are extremely good pals and musical improvisers. They have been developing shows, teaching classes, performing together, and experimenting with this unusual art form for 8 years. They created the musical improv group Off Key Improv. They wrote Connected: The Musical (alongside Alison Chisholm) which got nominated for an Ovation Award. They have trained and performed together in Chicago and New York.

PLUS:

ARTWORK by Manuela Camisasca. The incredibly talented designer of the book cover will have some of her artwork on display!

Artwork to be displayed at launch party for book Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself

Manuela is a graphic designer and illustrator who loves empowering women through her art. As a designer, she believes that a great project can help to save the world. Putting together beauty, meaning, reason and functionality, visual art can bring empowerment and dialogue.

And the whole thing will be HOSTED BY... Alison Chisholm! Alison is a talented performer and arts manager to everyone else, and I think of her as my everything. Here we are together at the opening of a play!

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Inspiration! Roundup: A Depth Year, G.D. Anderson, WhatsApp Novels, and More!

A roundup of inspirational things, including taking a depth year, James Gulliver Hancock's art, a novel written on WhatsApp, and more!

This Week's "I want to go to there": SUMMER! SUN! WARMTH! Anywhere without snow, really.
Photo by Arthur Poulin.

A Depth Year

Here is a VERY fascinating concept: what if we spent an entire year going deep, instead of going wide? Where we didn't acquire new hobbies or pursuits and instead focused on the ones already in our lives? Picked up old projects left to wither on the vine or actually practiced the piano every day?

I am intrigued. I am also afraid to commit to a whole year of this, for some reason.

Everything But the Kitchen Sink

James Gulliver Hancock is an illustrator and his work is super fun! I love how, in this one, the person doesn't seem weighed down by the world in their backpack.

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A post shared by James Gulliver Hancock (@gulliverhancock) on Sep 9, 2018 at 3:57pm PDT

Strength

"Feminism isn't about making women strong. Women are already strong. It's about changing the way the world perceives that strength." — G.D. Anderson

I remember, in university, trying to explain to a (male) friend of mine that feminism wasn't about women trying to compete with men, but at the time I didn't have the words for it all. If only I'd read G.D. Anderson.

WhatsApp Writer

Behrouz Boochani is an Iranian-Kurdish writer living in a detention centre in Papua New Guinea (where he ended up after seeking asylum). He wrote a book by sending it via WhatsApp text to a translator who then had it all stitched together into a book. He has now won a literary award for the book.

In-freaking-credible. Whatever is most important to you, you can do it.

Closeness Lines

Olivia de Recat's illustration of the closeness of relationships over time is pretty evocative.

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A post shared by Olivia de Recat (@drawingolive) on Jan 23, 2019 at 6:56am PST

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Cute! Roundup: Seal Pup Friendship, a Baby Porcupine, a Lil' Baby Duck, and More!

I have gotten really obsessed lately with trying to capture Gertie's face up close. There are a lot of variations on this picture in my camera roll.

OTHER CUTENESS:

This seal pup just wants to be friends.

An unacceptable level of weirdo-cuteness from this baby porcupine.

Duckie greetings.

Love yourself.

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Singalong! You Make Me Wanna by Usher

I love it when a song sounds all cute but is actually a break up song.

YOU MAKE ME WANNA

by Usher

This is what you do, this is what you do

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

Before anything began between us

You were like my best friend

The one I used to run and talk to when me and my girl was having problems

You used to say it would be okay

Suggest little nice things I should do

And when I go home at night and lay my head down

All I seem to think about is you

How you make me wanna...

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

Now, what's bad is you're the one that hooked us up

Knowing it should've been you

What's sad is I love her, but I'm falling for you

What should I do?

Should I, tell my baby bye-bye?

Should I, do exactly what I feel inside?

'Cause I, I don't wanna go, don't need to stay

But I really need to get it together

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

At this point, the situation's out of control

I never meant to hurt her, but I gotta let her go

And she may not understand it while all of this is going on

I tried, I tried to fight it, but the feeling's just too strong

You make, make, make me

You make me wanna...

Come along with

You're making me, you're making me

You make me wanna leave the one I'm with

Start a new relationship with you, this is what you do

Think about a ring and all the things that come along with

You make me, you make me

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: Stop Scaring the Whales, Prejudiced Kids, Muscle Memory, and More!

A roundup of research to learn from this week, including the fact that kids are prejudiced thanks to white supremacy and music is getting angrier.

Photo by Flavio Gasperini.

Scared Whales

Sonar, it turns out, is so bad for whales that it can actually scare them to death. This happens when they are on a deep dive and get so startled by the sonar that their hearts beat too quickly, inducing "the bends", which can be extremely painful even if it doesn't kill them.

Child Prejudice

We like to think that little children are immune to bias and prejudice, but it turns out that all children, regardless of their race and their exposure to diversity, have more negative evaluations of black boys than other children (black girls, white boys, white girls). The researchers can only hypothesize at this point that kids pick up on this bias, which is present in adults across our society, and incorporate it into their own subconscious attitudes. (Thanks a lot, white supremacy!)

Muscle Memory is Real

During physical training, our muscles gain nuclei, and those nuclei stick around even if we stop working out and our muscles shrink back down, making it quicker and easier to regain those skills later. So you might lose it if you don't use it, but you'll get it back real quick!

Blaming Mom (Again)

New research shows that kids who perceive themselves to have conflicting relationships with their moms early in life have a harder time finding purpose in life as adults. This effect is also present in relationships with fathers, but it's not quite as pronounced, probably because mothers are generally the primary caretakers.

Go Outside

If you're in a bad mood, just go outside for five minutes. It'll make things a little better.

Angry Music

Anecdotally, I can tell you that this seems accurate: pop music is getting angrier. If I think about the golden oldies I used to listen to all the time as a teenager, they were pretty upbeat, and even the ones about sad things had incongruously happy tunes. Now part of being cool is being edgy and angry.

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This Week in Church: Obligation, Fascination, and Responsibility

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I think that church can teach things that are beneficial to everyone, whether or not we believe in church-related things.

This week in church, we talked about obligation vs. fascination.

What is the difference between a person who is obligated and a person who is fascinated? What does a fascinated person do? How do they stay fascinated

Fascination is all curiosity, focus, and joy. Obligation is compliance and resentment.

How can we try to live lives where we are experiencing more fascination than obligation? We can start with Mary Oliver's instructions for living a life: "Pay attention / Be astonished / Tell about it."

This week in church we talked about responsibility.

This is the second time this theme has come up for me in the past week: that there are some things that only I can be responsible for in my life.

Some things that only I can do for myself: eat healthier food, get out of bed in the morning, read poetry, slow down/speed up.

I want to spend more time thinking about this.

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Inspiration! Roundup: Flying Girls, Flowery Animals, Just Joking, Ellen, and More!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Mostly I was just taken with the fact that this could 100% be me and my boyfriend.
But also: sunshine and warmth and beaches? I'LL TAKE IT!
Photo by Alexandra Munoz.

Flying Girls

I am fully taken with the art installation piece Flying Girls. I want to see it in person and walk around it and stand in the middle of it, which they wouldn't want me to do so it's better that I'm just seeing it in a photo.

Flowery Animals

Raku Inoue's flowery animals are so beautiful! I want to hug them, but that would hurt them.

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A post shared by Raku Inoue 井上羅来 🌱TYO🇯🇵🇨🇦MTL🌱 (@reikan_creations) on Dec 6, 2018 at 2:24pm PST

Just Joking

If you have found yourself even a little bit confused about comedy these days, not sure what counts as funny and what doesn't and why some comedians seem to get away with things others cannot say, HAVE I FOUND THE FACEBOOK POST FOR YOU! Glori Adams gives a full breakdown of different kinds of jokes and where they come from, what makes them funny, and then... why one particular comedian's "comeback" isn't comedy anymore. It's a brilliant lesson in what makes comedy work as well as an explanation of when it doesn't.

"In order for a joke to land, you have to play with concepts your audience understands, and you have to point/push/punch in a direction your audience is comfortable with you going."

Into the Light

The other day was particularly sunny and lovely, so I told my coworkers I was going to stand outside, bathe in the light, and never come back. My coworker said that I have "surrendered to the beauty of the sun", and I etched those words in my heart for FOREVER because they are true and beautiful.

This art exhibit seems perfect for me: it's called New Dawn and it is made up of nothing more than a set of blinds with LED lights behind them that create the illusion of moving tree branches on the other side. It looks stunning and tragic, all at once.

Ellen

I have never seen Ellen Degeneres photographed this way, and of course it came from a combination of her brilliance and that of Annie Lebowitz.

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A post shared by @studyofagirlthroughfamousfaces on Sep 8, 2017 at 3:32am PDT

Silence

"We have forgotten the power of silence."
-Bobette Buster

This is definitely true for me in the general part of my life: I fill every moment possible with music or words (my own or those of a podcast). When I find myself in silence, it is either a huge relief or an oppressive and weighty experience.

However, I would like to let Bobette know that there is at least one place where the power of silence is deeply known, and that is live theatre. We know, in theatre, how powerful silence is, and we try to wield that power wisely.

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What Are Your Greatest Hits?

What would be on your "Best Of" or Greatest Hits album? For your life?

Photo by Jon Tyson.

Here's a fun idea: what are your greatest hits? Greatest hits of what, you ask? Whatever you make, whatever you do!

This question is geared towards content creators, but I actually like the idea better when separated from the content I make. Sure, I could go through my blog posts and articles to find the ones that have been the most popular or that I am the proudest of, but what about life in general? What memories, decisions, or moments would constitute the "greatest hits" of my life? What would be on the "Best of Andrea" album? What about your Best Of album?

How do you decide what gets on the list?

You could take the popularity contest approach, which is technically how greatest hits albums work, and pick the most popular bits out of your life. The ones that would have gone platinum, had they been for sale on iTunes. This is basically your Instagram Best 9, but for life instead of a year.

You could take the personally-meaningful approach, which would be more like if Beyoncé released an album of the tracks she has loved the most, without worrying about their popularity. It would be like a 'Faves Of' album instead of a 'Best Of' album. (Which, by the way, I WOULD TOTALLY LISTEN TO. EVERY ARTIST OUT THERE, PLEASE RELEASE A 'FAVES OF' ALBUM!)

You could take the autobiographical-summary approach and give us a series of memories and moments that give the best overview of you as a person. What has shaped you? What moments would give me the best understanding of who you are, as a person?

Or you could just not think about it too much and make a list of whatever comes to mind first when you think of your "greatest hits" in life!

I'm going for the last one, and I'll share a few. Here's what I've got to start:

Ballet.

I took ballet all growing up and it was wonderful and I loved it and had so many magical moments doing it. Top memories would be, as a "senior dancer", going to a dance competition in Whistler and walking around the Village like a bunch of grown-ups as well as being a much younger dancer and thinking it was hilariously fun for me and the other girls I was grouped with to clap all together before we started twirling on stage.

Dancing in a Park.

In university, my pal David played me the song Zero by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs for the first time on his iPod. I was so taken by the song I just started dancing around in the park, and he joined in even though he couldn't hear a thing. A magical moment.

Learning to Like Myself.

I'm not just saying this because I now have a book out about learning to like myself. This is genuinely the best thing I ever did with my life. It should go first. Or last. Somewhere of importance besides the middle where it will end up on this list.

Being a Weirdo at Work.

Not sure what the specific memory is yet, but something to do with hanging out at work with my bestie for the past eleven years and all the weird things we would get up to. Maybe walking like muppets across the office? Or the time we had a meeting in a blanket fort?

Looooooove.

This is another one that has too many specific moments to pick, but something about me and my partner. Probably cuddles or when we go off on a weird, joke tangent that confuses anyone else around us. Maybe the fact that I am now a person who likes to hike, and it's all his fault?

There it is! My first brainstorm at my life's greatest hits.

What about you? What are some of your greatest hits?

OOOOH, and now HERE'S a juicy question: what do you WANT your greatest hits album to look like at the end of your life?

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It's PUB DAY for Feeling Better!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!

Feeling Better: A Field Guide to Liking Yourself has finally been released!

Pop on over to Amazon or Indigo and order your print copy or ebook! Or, if you're in Vacouver, come to the launch party on Feb. 21st and buy one in person!

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Cute! Roundup: Best Friends, Dogs With Their Babies, and More!

Gertie and I like to watch Drag Race together sometimes. We are currently making our way through season 6 on Netflix!

OTHER CUTENESS:

These besties know where it's at!

Dogs being gentle with baby humans is always the cutest thing.

Or how about dogs guarding tiny humans?

If you have a lot of time and LOVE puppies.

Holding on for dear life.

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Singalong! Roundup: Nothing Compares 2 U by Sindead O'Connor

Some weekends you just want to sing your heart out along with some legit heartbreak - either for a bit of a nostalgic/vicarious catharsis, or the real kind.

NOTHING COMPARES 2 U

by Sinead O'Connor

It's been seven hours and fifteen days

Since you took your love away

I go out every night and sleep all day

Since you took your love away

Since you've been gone I can do whatever I want

I can see whomever I choose

I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant

But nothing... I said nothing can take away these blues

'Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

It's been so lonely without you here

Like a bird without a song

Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling

Tell me, baby, where did I go wrong

I could put my arms around every boy I see

But they'd only remind me of you

I went to the doctor and guess what he told me, guess what he told me?

He said, "Girl, you better try to have fun no matter what you do," but he's a fool

'Cause nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

All the flowers that you planted, mama, in the back yard

All died when you went away

I know that living with you, baby, was sometimes hard

But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

Nothing compares

Nothing compares to you

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Learning! Roundup: Strong Hands/Strong Heart, Gingivitis Causes Alzheimer's, Ask Before You Help, and More!

A roundup of research from the past week, including the fact that married people have stronger hands than non-married people and gingivitis may cause alzheimer's

Photo by Justin Groep.

Joining Hands

Married people have stronger hands than their unmarried counterparts. Men who have been married more than once have the strongest hands of all. Nobody knows why.

Gingivitis and Alzheimer's

We may have discovered the cause of Alzheimer's, and it's (of all things) gum disease. The bad news is that lots and lots of people have gingivitis. The good news is that they have just begun clinical trials on a drug that blocks the gingivitis' toxins and this drug may also reverse Alzheimer's. WHOA.

Ask Before You Help

A recent event in Detroit highlights a very important principle for anyone who wants to parachute in somewhere and help a community out: the people you want to help have to be involved in the decisions that will impact them. In Detroit, residents turned down free trees offered to line their streets, unless they got to pick what kind of trees they were. You know why? They are the ones who will be living with those trees.

Gender and Pain

You know the whole "man cold" thing? Well, maybe it's because people have been taking men's pain more seriously from the time they were children, and so they just indulged in it! New research shows that adults take pain more seriously in young boys than young girls. I find this especially interesting, as I would have expected it to be the other way around, in an attempt to toughen young boys up. Of course, I would hope that everyone's pain gets taken seriously.

Side Effects of Binge-Watching

Binge-watching shows can change how you see the world, making you more likely to see other people as mean and to be less altruistic overall. The most popular shows to binge, after all, are pretty dark and violent, including Daredevil and House of Cards. (Also, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, which I would have expected to have a more positive impact on someone's outlook.)

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