Learning! Roundup: Insomnia-Induced Anxiety, No Magic Words for Grief, Student Evaluations, and More!

Photo by Kevin Grieve.

Sleep No More

Sleep deprivation triggers anxiety in the brain, and if the sleep loss is chronic, that anxiety effect gets pretty severe. So we're not kidding when we say that it's important to get your sleep!

There Are No Magic Words

When a friend is suffering, for whatever reason, we all want to make sure we say the "right thing" back to them. You know, the thing that will make them suddenly feel all better and have a wonderful new perspective on their pain. Well, science says that there is no "right thing" to say when someone is grieving. Simply being present and offering sympathy is your best bet.

Student Evaluations

Apparently, student evaluations of teachers are not only tedious, but bad for everyone--at least when evaluations are taken seriously and tied to things like pay increases or getting tenure-track positions. That's because students give better evaluations to teachers who give them better grades, and teachers who understand this will likely grade more generously. It also results in students assuming that their education is the sole responsibility of their instructor and not ultimately up to them.

When to Trust Intuition

Expert intuition can develop, where people "just know" what's up, but only in very particular circumstances is that intuition accurate: it has to be developed in a scenario that has some consistency and regularity, so that there is something to learn; it requires a lot of practice; and during that practice, you need immediate feedback as to whether you were right or wrong. Then you can develop the intuition of an expert.

Intense OCD Therapy

Two Norwegian psychologists, Gerd Kvale and Bjarne Hansen, have developed an intensive 4-day OCD treatment that is so effective participants can be free of their OCD symptoms for years afterwards. The protocol involves a combination of education, exposure therapy, and regular therapy, and it works! Amazing!

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Challenge Update: Cutting Down Phone Use

Photo by rawpixel.

Last week I decided to try a new way to cut down phone use, that that was to make it slightly less convenient to pick up my phone during idle moments. The main way I have done this is by keeping my phone in a drawer in my desk at work. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

Here's the update: it worked! I am definitely picking up my phone less often. I don't just mindlessly pick it up, because it's not even there, and opening a drawer is just enough extra effort that I can stop myself from doing it in those moments.

Hooray! Success! Now let's see how long I keep this up before rationalizing that my phone use "isn't that bad" and "who cares anyways?"

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How to End 2018 With a Little Extra Gratitude

Photo by Annie Spratt.

How much free media have you consumed this year? From podcasts to youtube to bloggers, there is a lot of education and entertainment we get for free. So here's a good idea: send your favourites a thank you note for the holidays! (Idea credit: Lifehacker.)

If you can, go all out with actual, physical thank you cards sent in the mail. But also be real with yourself: if the extra time or money inconvenience means you just won't get around to it, then email, or even just a Twitter or Instagram DM will suffice. ANY thank you note is better than no thank you note.

Here is how:

1) Make a list!

Who are your fave writers, youtubers, podcasters, musicians, or other creators? Especially the ones who give content away on free platforms!

2) Get their contacts!

A PO Box or physical address is the cheese, but if you can't find that, an email address, contact form on their website, or Twitter handle will do. If you're anything like me, you'll be more likely to do this at all if you spend some time gathering all the contact info at once. (Bonus: You can listen to or watch some of their amazing content while you do this!)

3) Spend one afternoon and write all their thank yous in one batch! Send them right away!

Doing it all at once is the most important part because you're most likely to a) actually do it and b) you'll experience the positive side effects of gratitude chunking. (Expressing gratitude to others makes you feel good about yourself, and if you do it a bunch at once, the effect is much greater than spreading it out over your week.)

Try to say something specific about why you love them!

Accountability time, here are (some of) the people I want to thank:

Swiss Miss
Jocelyn K. Glei (Hurry Slowly)
Ross and Carrie of Oh No! Ross and Carrie
Zahra and Taz of Good Muslim Bad Muslim
Phoebe and Jessica of 2 Dope Queens (even if they did just STOP THE PODCAST)
Roxane Gay (I've paid for her books, but not her Twitter feed)
Whoever makes the Art Journal newsletter

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This Week in Advent: Hope

This week I didn't make it to church, so I can't do a "this week in church" post, but I did celebrate advent. Here is what I think is great about advent that everyone can appreciate, no matter what you believe.

Photo by Myonedaylife

On Sunday morning, I woke up with a sudden desire to do something to mark the first Sunday of Advent. I haven't typically done this, so I had to make it a little makeshift: I scrounged up four calendars (completely unequal in size or colour - oops) and put them on a plate. Then I looked up the meaning of the first Sunday of Advent.

It was hope.

So I lit the first candle, and just sat and meditated on hope for a moment.

Here's what I love about hope: it doesn't presuppose a perfect life. Hope isn't showing up for that. Hope is there, specifically, for the darkness. Sometimes it's a faint little glow in dark times that gives you just enough energy to keep stumbling through to the other side that may or may not be there, and other times it's a blazing sun that fills eradicates the darkness completely, killing all the vampires sneaking around in the corners.

Hope is there for us when we feel scared, sad, empty, angry, or lost. It's a little spark that keeps us going.

This week is the week of hope. Or perhaps, the week for hope. As we get closer and closer to the longest night of the year, what better thing to hold onto?

My "Advent Wreath":

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Inspiration! Roundup: Animal Illustrations, Ten More Commandments, Epic Chair Dancing, and More!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Somewhere simple, delicate, and pretty. Just like this.
Photo by Nicolette Meade.

Animal Illustrations

I am a sucker for these kinds of illustrations that combine animals with natural landscapes. This latest collection is from Sujay Sanan.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Sujay Sanan (@sujaysanan) on Nov 18, 2018 at 9:15pm PST

Ten Commandments

Some of my theatre pals have been floating this list with titles like the "ten commandments of festival crunch time" and "stage manager's tech week mantra":

1. Take care of yourself and others.
2. Sleep/rest when you need to.
3. Eat when you need to.
4. Pee when you need to.
5. Give yourself a minute when you need to.
6. Give others a minute when they need it.
7. Freak out, don't freak in (we're in it together)
8. Expect the best of yourself and others, don't expect perfection.
9. Situations take priority, not people (it's not personal).
10. Have a good time.

I like this because it recognizes that something bigger than all of us is going on, but also we are humans.

Chair Dancing

These kids give a new meaning to chair dancing.


Hurting People

“we all have hurt someone tremendously. whether by intent or accident. we have all loved someone tremendously. whether by intent or accident. it is an intrinsic human trait. and a deep responsibility.”
– nayyirah waheed

Mother as Creator

Artist Annie Hsiao-Ching Wang's photo series documenting the years spent parenting her son is INCREDIBLE! This is worth a click to see the whole thing. It's such a creative and fascinating exploration of the layers of life and parenthood.

Photo by Annie Hsiao-Ching Wang.

Getting Lost to Find Yourself

This story of a six-year-old boy who got lost in the woods by himself, and found his way by walking for 18 hours to a nearby town is truly inspiring. Obviously, this is not a rite of passage to start putting all children through, but it's cool to read about nonetheless.

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Cute! Roundup: Paw on Top, Bundling Up, Bath Time, and More!

It's bedtime cuddle time with Gertie! This is a vital way for me to chill out at the end of a day.

OTHER CUTENESS;

Whose paw will come out on top?

Bahaha! A naked boy goes for a walk!

Happy bath time!

I feel this pain: when your cat chooses not to sit on your lap...

Lil' kitty does such a great job of protecting its fluff ball!

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Singalong! Apologize by OneRepublic and Timbaland

Um, I LOVE this song. I used to play it with ridiculous gusto at open mics (yes, I was that person). I mean, come on! It actually mashes up pretty well with Justin Timberlake's Cry Me a River, too.

APOLOGIZE

by OneRepublic and Timbaland

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground

And I'm hearing what you say, but I just can't make a sound

You tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down

But wait

You tell me that you're sorry, didn't think I'd turn around

And say (that)

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

Too late, oh, oh

I'd take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you, oh, oh

I need you like a heart needs a beat, but it's nothing new

Yeah, yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it's turning blue

And you say

Sorry like the angel Heaven let me think was you

But I'm afraid

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize

It's too late, oh, oh

It's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late

I said it's too late to apologize, yeah

I said it's too late to apologize, yeah

I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet off the ground

Giphy

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Learning! Roundup: Cat Tongues, Side Benefits of the Pill, Cube Poop, and More!

Photo by Antelope Park.

Cat Tongues

Cats spend about a quarter of their waking hours grooming themselves. Their tongues are, apparently, such great cleaning machines thanks to little protuberances all over that are shaped like little scoops with grooves on the end. This helps the cat's saliva get right into the fur and also picks up dirt, blood, and other icky things. It's a loofah and a sponge all in one.

Benefits of the Pill

While there are a lot of negative side effects to taking birth control pills, there are some benefits! The obvious, of course, is not getting pregnant when you don't want to. The less obvious side effect of the pill is more stable, satisfying long-term relationships, possibly due to an emotion-stabilizing effect of the pill.

Cube Poop Explained

Did you know wombats have cube-shaped poo? Well, now you not only know that (if you didn't already), but you also know that this is thanks to wombats having stretchier intestinal tracts with a more irregular shape.

Drawing Memories

Drawing things helps us remember them better than writing them down. As someone who is very bad at drawing, I can see why: it takes a lot of time and concentration to get anything on paper!

Stress and Age

If you're looking to avoid cognitive decline as you age, one thing that you could try (that might just make life a bit more pleasant in the intervening years) is reacting less to stressful situations. A new study shows that older people who have stronger negative reactions to daily stressful situations are more likely to suffer cognitive decline. (Yes, I know, this is correlation, not causation, but I bet you won't find ANY studies suggesting it's healthier to get really angry in a traffic jam.)

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This Week in Church: Money, the Common Good, and Power

Welcome to the series wherein I share my take-aways from church. The things that, I think, are beneficial to all of us to know or think about, whether or not we believe in any church-related things.

I already shared my favourite quote from church in an earlier post (which I listened to as a podcast instead of attending in person this week), but here is more from church this week.

This week in church we talked about the common good.

God instructed his people to use their resources for the common good. What does that actually mean?

Probably something to do with sharing, staying put, knowing people, and caring for the earth.

How is this concept tied to the idea that, "if one of us suffers, we all suffer"?

This week in church we talked about clean money.

"Clean money is examined money."
- Joel Solomon

You can't have clean money if you don't know where it came from and pay attention to where it's going.

Where do you earn money? Where do you hold money? Where do you grow money? Where do you spend money? What people does it value? Does it value preserving the earth?

This week in church we talked about power.

The Pharaoh in Egypt got his power by hoarding resources -- in this case food -- and selling it back to people during the famine at a high cost. First, they paid with their money. Then when there was no money left, their livestock. Then when they had no money or means of production, their land and freedom, becoming slaves to Egypt.

He manipulated the economy to benefit the few in power, thanks to an anxiety and scarcity mentality that told him he had to take care of his own first. (Sound familiar?)

"Those who are living in anxiety and fear, mostly fear of scarcity, have no time for the common good. Anxiety is no basis for the common good. Anxiety will cause the formulation of policy and exploitative formulation of practices that are inimical to the common good. A systemic greediness that precludes the common good."

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I Was On a Diversity Panel and I Have Some Thoughts (aka: here are some socks to pull up)

Photo by Mario Gogh.

I just got home from a panel discussion called Diversity Versus Decolonization: An Honest Conversation in Technicolour where I was one of the case studies on what happens when a white person in a position of authority gets called out on systemic racism (spoiler alert: they were right) (also, I wrote a little about what I learned from that experience here).

I have some thoughts on the evening.

1) Before heading over, I was reading Anne Lamott's new book Almost Everything, and came across a passage that was an absolutely perfect place to ground myself before participating in this conversation:

"When we are stuck in our convictions and personas, we enter into the disease of having good ideas and being right. My Jesuit friend Tom used to say that he never noticed what he was feeling: only that he was right. We think we have a lock on truth, with our burnished surfaces and articulation, but the bigger we pump ourselves up, the easier we are to prick with a pin. And the bigger we get, the harder it is to see the earth under our feet."

If you are inclined to fling this passage at someone whom you consider to be impossibly self-righteous, take a moment. What is the ground beneath your feet? Could it be that you, also, think you are right?

2) I became aware of a pattern during the panel discussion. This is a pattern that will likely be obvious to racialized people, but thanks to white supremacy, I just noticed it:

Step One: A white person is in a position of influence/power/authority;

Step Two: This white person knows there is, or worries there might be, inequality in their area of influence/power/authority, but doesn't really know what to do about it or the extent of the problem, so they let it stew in the back of their minds, until;

Step Three: A person of colour takes the risk to point it out, and then likely has to do some or all of the work to help solve it.

Here is the call on the other side of this realization: if you are a white person, you have any kind of authority or influence, and you have a bad feeling that there is some kind of racism or other exclusion going on, systemic or otherwise, SAY SOMETHING.

I know, it's scary. I know, you don't want to point a finger--at someone else or at yourself. But what is the alternative? That the injustice you are worried might be there continues? That the oppressed must risk their safety, livelihood, or even life by pointing it out?

Remember: being able to feel vaguely uncomfortable with the idea that racism may be happening while also being able to go on with life unscathed is a super privileged thing.

3) It's okay to have hurt feelings.

That's it. There was a fair amount of talk of feeling hurt, angry, attacked, shamed, frustrated on the panel - and yet we all survived and even managed to work together with the people who made us feel that way. Because feeling bad isn't the end of the world, or of a relationship. (Thank goodness.)

4) My fellow white people: we have got to start holding ourselves to a higher standard. I, and my fellow white panellists, were profusely thanked because we weren't assholes when people of colour had conversations with us about racism.

Not being an asshole should not be a thing that deserves thanks, profuse or otherwise. If that's exceptional, we have to really pull our socks up.

(In fact, a lot of us haven't even put our socks on yet. They are balled up in a corner somewhere. Go find your socks! Put them on and pull them up! Be intentional about not being an asshole!)

5) As I left, I popped in my earbuds and turned on the podcast I was listening to, which just happened to be a sermon by my friend Nelson Boschman. He was talking about poverty and systems of financial exclusion and corruption, not the topic of the panel, but it all intersects, and this was the perfect sentiment I heard almost immediately after leaving:

"We are part of larger systems and patterns that are highly resistant to the common good."

Can. I. Get. An. AMEN?!?!!

(Also: so what are we going to do about it?)

It's the panel! Photo by David C. Jones

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Inspiration! Roundup: Subtracting Homogeneity, Raising Aspirations, Kid the Wiz, and More!

This Week's "I want to go to there": Does anyone else find a huge stack of fire wood really comforting?
Photo by Radek Grzybowski.

Subtracting Homogeneity

"It's not about adding diversity for the sake of diversity, it's about subtracting homogeneity for the sake of realism."
-Mary Robinette Kowal

Giving Raises

This brief blog post called 'The high-return activity of raising others' aspirations' is a wonderful reminder that spending a little time giving someone else a lift is totally worth it.

Kid the Wiz Freestyle

One of my favourite things about watching dance crews go for it is the amazing responses and feedback they give each other. It's this ridiculously supportive, excited thing and I LOVE it! (Plus - LOOK AT THOSE MOVES!)

Do the Work

"Inspiration is for amateurs — the rest of us just show up and get to work. And the belief that things will grow out of the activity itself and that you will — through work — bump into other possibilities and kick open other doors that you would never have dreamt of if you were just sitting around looking for a great ‘art idea.’ And the belief that process, in a sense, is liberating and that you don’t have to reinvent the wheel every day. Today, you know what you’ll do, you could be doing what you were doing yesterday, and tomorrow you are gonna do what you did today, and at least for a certain period of time you can just work. If you hang in there, you will get somewhere."
-Chuck Close

Light it Up

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Scott Erickson (@scottthepainter) on Aug 29, 2018 at 9:44am PDT

Gratitude

Gratitude is awesome and all, but here's a list of 21 ways to help you share your thankfulness with others more often!

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Challenge Accepted: How Jack White Inspired Me to Cut Down My Phone Use

Photo by Hugh Han.

I've been spending extra time lately thinking about my relationship with my phone. These days, I expect that most of us are at least a little bit troubled with how we use these devices and the never-ending pull they have on our minds.

I used to refer to it as an addiction, but I've realized that is the wrong word. It's not an addiction because when I am away from my phone, aside from that initially uncomfortable feeling of "something's missing", I don't feel any kind of withdrawal. Instead, I mostly feel relief. Freedom. I love going places where I can't use my phone - it's so liberating.

So I've been thinking of it more like a compulsion. If my phone is present, I pick it up without even thinking about it. I don't decide to look at my phone, I just find myself doing it, compulsively. If it's not there, I'm free. Sometimes, I don't even miss it at all.

That's why I loved this article about a Jack White concert where people were barred from using their phones in the concert hall.

First of all, the solution to cut people off from their phones was so elegant: each person's phone went into a neoprene pouch that was locked. They kept the pouch and if they ever needed to use their phone, they simply stepped out into the hallway where it could be unlocked, used, and then locked away before re-entering the concert itself.

What a simple solution to remove phones without actually taking them away from people!

While I know that taking photos has been linked with people actually enjoying an experience more, I also know the feeling of wanting to get the best shot of the band I'm seeing: reaching for my phone with a level of franticness with each cool new lighting effect, wondering if somehow this time my plastic rectangle will be able to capture the effect even though every other photo was sub-par.

This kind of photo-taking is part of an overall attempt to optimize everything about an experience that is just exhausting. It's like watching a movie with the person who won't stop fiddling with the sound balance on the TV. At some point, their attempt to make things better is just ruining it. Sit down, watch the movie. Stand there, watch the band.

Of course, the photo-taking isn't really the main problem. The problem is that when you take out your phone to take a photo, you think about where you might post it. You scroll back through and evaluate the quality of your photos, wondering if a different angle would be better. You see that your friend texted and reply. You compulsively open Facebook or Instagram or a news app or your email, not because you chose to, but simply because that's what your hands do when they are holding your phone.

If this only happened in concerts that would be one thing. It happens in life. For me, it's especially a problem when I am only loosely engaged in a thing I'm doing. When I am spending quality time with friends, for example, my phone is almost always out of sight. When I am at work, however, it is right next to me and I pick it up every single time my mind wanders, without even thinking about it.

So here is my challenge to myself: inspired by Jack White, I am going to find ways to make it just a little bit harder to use my phone.

Possible methods include leaving it in my jacket or purse (instead of on the desk next to me) and keeping my phone charger in a different room from where I am working.

Honestly, I only expect this to last for so long, but I am really interested to see how often I decide it's worth it to walk over to my jacket and get my phone out of my pocket. I am also interested to see what I do when my mind wanders instead of looking at my phone.

Let the phone-avoidance challenge begin!

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Cuteness! Roundup: Living Ornaments, Bobcat Jumps, an Armadillo, and More!

On Saturday I spent a bunch of time hanging out with Gertie. This is the first of many (mannnyyyyy) photos I took of her throughout the day.

OTHER CUTENESS:

One of these ornaments is not like the others.

Just the best way to pass the time.

Bobcats are the BEST jumpers! This is amazing!

Typical cat.

A little tiny armadillo that is obsessed with baths.

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