Things Ladies Are Supposed to Care About

Muffin Top: little tufts of fat in the lower-waist area that stick out the top of low-rise pants.

Side Boob: when the side of your boob sticks out of a shirt of a certain cut and looks kind of like an extra roll of arm fat.

Double Boob: when your bra is sized so that it cuts you off mid-boob and it looks like you have four boobs.

Cankles: fat ankles.

Ninkles: knee wrinkles.

Hair (undesirable): armpits, legs, toes, ears, nose, upper lip, between the eyebrows, outside of the currently fashionable eyebrow shape, cheeks, bikini line.

Hair (desirable): head - must be soft and flowy.

Armpits: now need to be soft and pretty (thanks Dove).

Hands: show your age no matter how much plastic surgery you get elsewhere.

Body shapes (desirable): hourglass, very skinny.

Body shapes (undesirable): all of them.

Batwings: flappy skin on the bottom of your biceps.

Teeth: white, straight, now with a sexy gap in the middle.

What did I miss?

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