I've never been one to rock the sexy Halloween costume. I mean, sometimes my costumes may wind up being sexy but only because I ooze so much raw sex* that it can't be helped. I am actually super uncomfortable and awkward about the idea of trying to intentionally be sexy, because it almost always means that you have to show at least part of your boobs and that's not fun at all**.
I've always thought the "Halloween as an excuse for girls to dress slutty" was more of a cultural joke than a true reality. Sure, the girls who go to club nights on Halloween will dress like a "Slutty ____" for Halloween, but that's just because they dress kind of like a "Slutty Girl" in real life, so they don't really count***.
Then I started hearing girls who I am friends with talk about this phenomenon in a "take it seriously" kind of way. Almost as if they feel obligated to dress like a slutty (or sexy to sound less judgey) version of something this weekend. Some talked about how they don't really like dressing straight-up sexy, because of the cliche, so they do something that's sexy with a bit of a twist to make it also creepy.
Well, if that's you, I just found the perfect Sexy-But-Really-Not-Sexy-Because-Oh-My-Goodness-That's-Just-Wrong costume:
I don't know if this is serious or a joke, but I love it either way. Somehow the bottom of those boobs look incredibly manly, don't they?
*I do not ooze raw sex.
**It's really not fun for me, if any part of my boobs are showing (which does happen occasionally because my ladies are just large enough that wearing a v-neck or a scoop-neck shirt is mildly revealing and sometimes I'll like the shirt so much for its other merits I will wear it anyways) then I feel instantly like there is a spotlight on my chest and beacon lights shining around me, telling everyone to LOOK RIGHT HERE BECAUSE THERE ARE BOOBIES and that makes me feel strange. This might be a good explanation for why I do not ooze raw sex.
***Not that girls who dress slutty don't count in life or as human beings. THEY DO COUNT, IT IS UNFAIR TO SAY SOMEONE DOESN'T COUNT AS A HUMAN BEING JUST BECAUSE THEY LIKE TO SHOW THEIR BOOBIES EVEN THOUGH I'M UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT - that kind of thinking just contributes to objectification of women and people like Robert Pickton killing prostitutes. I meant that the normally slutty-dressing girls don't count towards the numbers of girls dressing slutty for Halloween specifically.
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